Chapter Text
Caitlyn
Death.
Something so unnecessary yet so common in the lands these days.
Loss.
An idea Caitlyn had long since associated with death, but now she realised that was not its only form. Loss came in all shapes and sizes, much like the aching gap in her chest reserved for the woman now in her arms.
“We’re almost there,” Caitlyn uttered. “You need to keep up for a few more minutes.”
“Easier said than done,” Vi uttered. “Where is my sister?”
“Ten paces behind us," Caitlyn said. "She’s walking along the walls and pretending to not notice me.” It was only a matter of time before she was apprehended and taken to the jail Caitlyn had advised.
“Or,” Vi rasped. “She’s stalking you. Like prey.”
“Hilarious,” Caitlyn replied. But thirty paces later, Jinx disappeared into the shadows.
“She does that,” Vi said. “She’ll be back. There’s a lot she needs to process. Where are you taking me anyway, cupcake? A dungeon? Want to chain me up?”
“Perhaps,” Caitlyn replied. “I would hold off on providing me with ideas.”
She heard Vi’s audible swallow then, but soon she grew weaker in her hold. The bandages on her chest were now spattered in the blood of many, something about it was simultaneously repulsive and yet left her cheeks hot with the need to tear it away.
“I appreciate the new look, oil slick and all,” Caitlyn said, trying to keep Vi awake. They needed to get to safety, away from this mess, and there was no way she could carry her. It was only a matter of time before Ambessa retaliated. The only thing that would come from this was more war, a truth that left Caitlyn's stomach souring.
“I’m sure you do,” Vi replied. “Find anyone to keep your bed warm in your time with the enemy? Let them whisper anything more than war plans to you?”
“If I did, would that upset you?” Caitlyn asked, pulling her up the steps. She slotted the key in the door and then took her up, heading into one of her mother’s old properties. Before, it was something Caitlyn took for granted; everything they owned. Now the possessions felt like a weight of realisation on her chest.
Caitlyn had lost much as of late, but the difference was she had much to lose especially when it came to materialistic things.
Others did not.
With her eyes glazed over and her chest tight, Caitlyn guided Vi to the bed and sat her on the edge of it. “Hold yourself up for a moment.”
“Why? Plan on undressing me?” Vi joked.
“Yes, actually.” Caitlyn started with her shoes first, holding back the tears as she unlaced them and loosened the leather. Gently she shifted them off, and soon her socks followed. Next came her trousers, far easier to remove than Caitlyn’s own.
Vi said nothing, but the tension between them was so palpable that her hands lightly shook. Then again, perhaps that was the adrenaline finally settling in her system.
“I took three women to bed,” Caitlyn said. “To answer your earlier question.”
A scoff left Vi as Caitlyn’s fingers reached her bandages. Looking to her, she waited for a nod before she began to unravel them.
“I assumed it might fix what I felt; that it might bury the emotions in some way… It did not. If anything, it worsened them, and any time I touched them you were there; this figment in my mind that I longed for even when I was sick at the thought of you. It is odd how rage and love can so swiftly bind together into something utterly damning.”
“You-”
“We have much to discuss. For now, we need to clean up. Who knows what we are covered in. I will draw you a bath.”
“Shouldn’t we-”
“There should be some oils,” Caitlyn interrupted once more. “It should soothe your wounds.” And with that, she rose before Vi could reply.
She headed into the bathroom, drawing the water from the tap. It ran cold for long enough that she began to worry before suddenly hot liquid spurted forth. Pouring the oils in, Caitlyn’s nose creased pleasantly at the scents of florals that met it.
She waited there for the water to run, too scared to return to the woman in the other room.
Loss, Caitlyn had found, unlike death, had the ability to be reversed.
But that was a prospect that left her vulnerable in a way she feared. Reversal would only come with the admission of what she had done. With the repentance for the harm that she partook in.
Her head shot up when she heard Vi leaning against the door on her shoulder. “Whatever it is,” Vi said. “We save it. For now, I think we both need a second to move past all the shit that went down today. Personally, I don’t have enough energy for resentment, cupcake.”
All Caitlyn could offer was a stiff tilt of her chin in agreement.
“Vi-”
“First name basis,” Vi teased. “Interesting. Does that mean I can use yours or are you still on your high horse about me addressing you with that title you seemed so proud of?” But as she spoke, she removed the last of her underwear and Caitlyn couldn’t help but stare. Her eyes traced over every inch of dirt-covered skin, marred with scratches and scars.
Far more than she remembered from the brief glimpses she got before.
“Had to find new ways to survive,” Vi explained, stretching before climbing into the steaming water with a sigh. “There aren’t many ways to earn down there that don’t involve selling yourself in some way.”
“You-”
“Not like that,” Vi clarified. “I fought.”
“I’m sorry, I-”
“Save the apologies. You’re wearing too many clothes. Isn’t it rude to strip someone and not join them?” Vi smiled weakly. “The bath is big enough for two. You can join me if you want, or we can continue to ignore all the shit we’re feeling.”
“How do you know what I feel?” Cait said.
“There’s a chance I don’t fully. But I know you. I know in that analytical, pain in the ass, rigid mind of yours you’re already overthinking things. Chiding yourself. Considering things you could have changed. Considering how you can move forward. But here’s the thing: the damage is done, and pain like that can’t be undone. All you can do is try to mend everything you have broken.”
“You say that like you’re speaking from experience.”
“I am,” Vi replied. “Are you getting in or not?”
It took her a moment, but Caitlyn slowly began to remove her clothing. The trousers were incredibly tight, and her cheeks heated as Vi laughed.
“Pants are tighter than the stick up your ass,” Vi noted.
“Are you quite done?”
“No.”
Caitlyn huffed as she removed her underwear, and finally, Vi grew silent. She lifted her chin, keeping her composure as she walked closer and climbed into the bath; Vi’s bare legs pressed against her own.
They lay there, the water calmly sloshing between them.
Time passed, minutes perhaps. Or an hour. Caitlyn wasn’t sure of much anymore. Yet soon she saw Vi wiping her cheek, and that was enough for her to say, “Come here.”
The offer was never questioned, instead, Vi moved to her knees in the tub and shifted closer until she was laying against her with her cheek resting upon Cait’s breast.
“Your sister seemed less… unhinged.”
Vi scoffed. “Can we not talk about our families while we’re naked?”
“I suppose.”
But Vi let out a long breath and said, “She has done a tonne of bad things, I get it, but she is calmer now. Grounded. However, we do not come from having things like you, we were born fighting. That world is more different than you can imagine. You’ve seen it, sure. But you’ve never had to survive there like us, as kids, as adults.”
“I understand.”
“Do you?”
“Not… entirely,” Caitlyn stated. “But I am trying, admittedly.”
Another scoff left Vi, tickling the skin of Caitlyn’s breast. “I still hate you sometimes.”
“I know.”
And she did. But right now, Vi was safe and lying against her. She could feel each inch of her skin warmed by her own. So, for now, Caitlyn made peace with that, and echoed as a whisper against her hair, “I know,” once more.
Silence followed that; it stretched on like some insurmountable distance between them. Distance somehow hurt more than rage. Caitlyn found that far more bearable.
When Vi’s breathing deepened and her fingers went slack in their grasp, she realised she had fallen asleep. So, Caitlyn lay there for a while more, her fingers trailed through Vi’s hair whilst she could do so without reprimand.
Eventually, they had to leave the bath. It appeared Vi was grouchy when woken, a bit like an irritable animal. She gritted her teeth and narrowed her eyes, and Caitlyn simply allowed it as she dried her off.
“Go to bed, I will join you shortly.”
“What makes you think I want to share a bed with you?” Vi replied.
“You can always take the floor,” she returned. Harsh perhaps, but sometimes Vi needed a firmer touch to calm her.
With a shake of her head, Vi padded away and Caitlyn heard the creak of the bed as she climbed into it.
Draining the bath, Caitlyn dried herself too and then headed into the bedroom. As she climbed into bed, Vi turned her back and took as much distance from her as the bed would grant.
Distance that to Cait felt like miles.
The light began to dim and night set in, and at some point, Vi stretched closer in her sleep until she was tightly wrapped around Caitlyn’s form. She held her breath for what felt like an eternity, too scared to breathe and wake her lest she move. Eventually, she let a long breath out and squeezed her eyes shut as she breathed in.
Vi never woke, remaining where she was for the next two hours until Caitlyn finally allowed herself to sleep.
She didn't wake up the next morning. The exhaustion seemed to finally have wiped Vi out, and so Caitlyn let her sleep.
The morning after that, Caitlyn woke to cursing as Vi peeled herself away from her quite violently. “Get off me.”
“You were the one laying on top of me,” Caitlyn pointed out.
“Whatever.” With that Vi rose.
“Where are you going?”
“Out. Some of us have shit to do. I’ll be back later.”
“I can come with you,” Caitlyn suggested. “It isn’t safe.”
“Funny that, coming from you. I should think you know a thing or two about making people like me feel unsafe. Wouldn’t you?”
“Are you ever going to allow me back in?” Caitlyn bit out in annoyance. “Or do you plan on blaming me for everything, always?”
“I blame you, because you are at fault,” Vi spat. “You think you can do one sane thing and everything you did would be forgiven? You cannot even bring yourself to forgive what my sister did.”
“What she did was-”
“What you both did!” Vi snapped. “You working like a guard dog willing to dote on every single war plan of a deranged woman out for the blood of my people. Innocent people. People who have faced enough struggles without this… this war adding to that!”
“I-”
“I’m heading out. Alone. I will see you tonight.” With that, Vi headed down the stairs and slammed the door.