Chapter Text
Sett sinks down into the kitchen chair next to Aphelios with a loud groan, stretches his arms, and cracks his knuckles.
Maybe due to the noise wakening her up, or because they are finally complete, Alune clears her throat and says, in the most neutral tone imaginable:
“Kayn, I understand that you care deeply about the situation in Zaun, but some of your fans demand an explanation and two of our sponsors resigned over your Instagram story about attending the protest, so this is no longer just about you.”
The man in question has stretched his legs out under the table and only slumps back further, while twisting his rings instead of looking up at their manager—similar to how Yasuo behaved while getting scolded. Except this isn’t how it’s supposed to be. They aren’t scolding him; except they are, Ezreal, because he wants to, and Alune. After all, it's her job.
So while the rest of the band watches, all in different states of decisively not wanting to be there, she forces herself to smile while suggesting:
“Can you make a post on Instagram distancing yourself from the Blue Flame? That’s all we’re asking of you.”
Of course, her eyes are darting towards Ezreal, probably in an attempt to get Yone's other boyfriend to say something diplomatic, but when he nods and tries to nudge Kayn, the latter doesn’t even spare him a glance.
Instead, his eyes are focused on his fingernails, when he looks up it's only search for something Aphelios's expression, his mimicry is as frozen as Kayn's. But he hopefully finds some reassurance in the knowledge that he isn't the only one holding himself back while whispering:
“I was literally just standin’ there. And showin' that in my story, just how ya'll share where you go to buy some stupidly expensive coffee.”
Before Yone can stop him Ezreal rolls his eyes.
“You wanted to hold a speech, you weren’t just a neutral bystander or listener.”
K’Sante clears his throat as soon as their little piltoveran prince is done, adding in a softer, surprisingly warm tone:
“But the sponsors and fans don’t know what you planned. This is your city, you are allowed to attend a protest. You shouldn’t have to justif-”
Ezreal doesn’t give his bandmate the courtesy of letting him speak, throwing in:
“They are justifying the council bombing! You shouldn’t even have been there!”
Suddenly Kayn glances up, while K’Sante huffs, Aphelios facepalms himself and Alune groans, their eyes meet. And what Yone finds-
This would all be easier if he could ignore the pain his boyfriends feels, and if he could forget everything he knows about the injustice that Zaun is facing.
How can he expect Kayn to keep his head down when it’s not just against his character, but also against what they deem moral?
Kayn remains silent, while Ezreal rambles.
“They say it’s an act of anticolonial violence, but that’s bullshit, there is no colonialism, Zaun is free. But without Piltover it’d be nowhere, we give them jobs and water and electricity, and look what they do to us!”
Yone swallows around nothing, why hasn’t he made any tea, this isn’t even about him. It’s about Kayn, and-
“We can have different opinions, and in all honesty, I agree with K’Sante. What Kayn does in his free time is his business, he can attend whatever protest he wants to, as long as he doesn't claim it's in the name of Heartsteel. And this is by far the least problematic thing he has posted on Social Media, if a sponsor withdraws for something so tame, I doubt they were seriously interested in us as a band anyway. And I don't think it's your place to tell someone from Zaun how to feel about issues regarding his home-"
It’s too late for Yone to bite his tongue, but Kayn’s eyes widen and lips twist upwards, and it’s all he needs to see, all he wants to look at. But he can imagine the hurt on his other boyfriends face as Ezreal forces out:
“Yeah? So killing civilians is okay?!”
It’s not what he said, nobody argued that killing civilians is acceptable, they shouldn’t even have to discuss politics here, wasn’t that all Yone said? But before he can try to explain his point again a knock vibrates through the table, indicating that Aphelios has written something down, and a moment later his message pops up just in time for the usual AI voice to read out:
According to international law Zaun has a right to defend itself. Piltover is illegally occupying it. And you should learn your history, maybe read a book Ezreal, before you embarrass yourself further. Next time there is a protest in solidarity with your people I will gladly join, maybe Heartsteel could even play. Either way, I stand with Kayn.
Like it's a fucking contest, as if it’s a social media campaign only waiting to happen, but it is, people are raging on liberal Piltie twitter, and Kayn has to breathe past the impulse of rage. He isn’t just Kayn anymore, never was “just Kayn”, now especially he has to behave responsibly.
But in moments like these, with twitching fingers and a racing heartbeat, he once again wonders if it is truly better that he stopped drinking. That he instead watches trembles run through his body as though invisible earthquakes shake him, but only him, behave for the band, keep it together for Heartsteel, there are people tied to him, brand deals and tour venues, merch sales and TV appearances. And his boyfriends exist too, of course, this fancy house and everything fucking good in his life hinges on this.
Going to the protest was risky and stupid.
His stomach turns if he thinks about the alternative.
Next to him, Ezreal coughs into his fist, then crosses his arms in front of his chest, hiding the glittery print on his spaghetti top while asking:
“Why did you have to go anyway? If you need your kick so bad, why not just go to a club?”
He can’t hide how his breath hitches, Aphelios’s red eyes snap towards him, his lips twitching to reveal his teeth. But he remains silent, giving Kayn the time to think, does he even want to answer?
Dignify his ludicrous assertion, go ahead, treat the gallows bird like its dainty voice-
Rhaast needs to be silent, so Kayn groans, unable to hide his anger anymore:
“It’s about the misinformation law, duh. I know, hard to believe that dumb fuck Kayn would ever care about something as bougie as law, but I can’t just let rich Pilties decide what’s true or not!”
His voice cracks, Aphelios smirks like the devil, K’Sante exhales loudly, but adds before Ezreal can answer:
“Kayn isn’t the only artist worried about it, I too am concerned. My old songs, what if one line is opposing what the foreign ministry says? I might be prohibited from playing in publicly funded-”
“Wait, they include old songs?”
Sett interrupts wide eyed, Kayn sinks further into his chair and cracks his knuckles, muttering:
“If they hate you enough, sure.”
The knock on the table matches the widening grin on Aphelios’s lips as he types, before the uncannily feminine voice reads out:
The law is counting on overworked officials to be more concerned about secure funding than artistic freedom, and us artists engaging in self-censorship.
Exactly, couldn’t have put it better. Not as though the gallowsbird is listening. Of course not, why would he. Kayn is never reasonable, Kayn can never be right, he is either someone in need of saving or in need of restraint. And you let him do it, get away with it over and over again, spit on our muse, spit on our truth.
“To speak what is true is the most revolutionary act of them all.”
The sign has been painted by Hwei, and wielded by a Piltie girl with tanned skin and thick, black hair. Why did she hold his sign, why wasn’t he there?
He was, probably, somewhere. Maybe masking his identity to not upset Kayn or the authorities. Is he even allowed to attend protests or is the proximity to suspected criminals enough to have him thrown in jail again?
The silence at the kitchen table stretches on for too long, nobody turns the conversation towards Ezreal’s feelings or hands out candy, and soon Ezreal storms past him, probably disappointed that Kayn hasn’t properly apologised yet. But apologised what for , he did nothing wrong, only risked everything just for a chance to for once be a fucking Zaunite. Stand with Zaun, if you will, stand with his family and bring their cause to Piltovers frontdoor.
Why should he apologise?
Perhaps for upsetting the little princess holding your heart hostage.
Rhaast smirks, he doesn’t take it seriously, and as if Ezreal holds his heart hostage-
But a few weeks ago Kayn would’ve jumped up and ran after Ezreal immediately, or so he hopes, but right now he remains seated across from his bandmates. Yone glances at the clock, and after a few moments of silence decides to follow their boyfriend's example, though much less dramatic and down towards the studio.
K’Sante clears his throat, exchanges a glance with Aphelios, then sighs and articulates:
“You do not need to do what he wants, this is a political decision, and manipulating you to bend to his opinion is neither just, nor brave.”
Whatever, Kayn isn’t interested, he doesn’t need to be told twice about manipulation.
Is he not trying to hold you captive?
Ezreal is, and Kayn keeps breathing, in and out, not feeling, not now. Not while they all watch him like hawks, not while his boyfriend certainly eavesdrops. Stupid Piltie. Entitled fledgling . His lungs deflate and expand, once he is sure he won't break a chair with a well-placed kick Kayn stands up.
“I’ll hit the bag.”
His throat is tight but Sett is used to Aphelios’s voice so he only nods;
“My bandages are on the desk, better use them.”
His handlers' icy gaze highlights his thinly veiled threat , Kayn makes his way past them. Step by step, slow and controlled, Hwei would’ve been proud. Immaculate control has never been Kayn's strength.
Jinx didn’t blow anything up, didn’t even light a flare today.
Zeri and Laurie left their guns at home, Lux wore one of her Demacian upper-class outfits. Eric wore a collared shirt, Nik too.
Atlas got a panic attack as soon as the Enforcers approached.
And when Yone turned up Kayn agreed to leave. And none of his friends from Zaun complained, not even Jinx, but her eyes said it all. Isn’t this worth it, isn’t this law worth fighting against?
Fighting against the state, maybe, but risking stress with his boyfriends?
Too late for that, I had warned you, no?
Kayn wraps the bandages around his hand just as his sister showed him, ignoring his vibrating phone while turning towards the punching bag.
Isn’t it nice? Run, hide away.
It’s hopeless, that's what it is.
You can not run from the truth, how much will you bend until you break? Is the dainty princess really worth waking up in shambles?
One punch, two punches, and suddenly his eyes are ablaze, how dare they, aren’t they supposed to love him?! Love him, doesn’t that fucking mean standing with him when- No, of course not, why would it mean that, Yone tried to protect him. He thinks you are weak, a lamb needing his shield to hide behind.
Fucking shit, shut up, don’t make it worse!
Or a reckless mutt in need of a leash, you asked him to handle you, and now you cry when he does.
Kayn decided to leave, he decided to leave, his choice, Ezreal had already been crying in the passenger seat and he imagined the hell awaiting him at home,
weak. Of all the things he demanded of you, Hwei always asked you to show him your true colours. Show him all you are -
and Ezreal loves him, right? Loves him, he was only worried!
Only infantilises you, do you let him walk over us?
Kayn grabs his phone, then opens the chat with his sister. Types through tears:
Sorry, m so mad at ez i cant breath since when am i such a fucking coward
The punching bag smiles at him with bunny teeth, his mind paints fluffy green waves, fucking princess, Kayn isn’t his fucking dog, not his stupid bodyguard or knight in shining armour, he isn’t some dumb bad boy archetype for that tiktok koolaid drinking bitch to tame-
His shoulders ache, and so do his knuckles.
We are not weak, we are not to be controlled, we are to be unleashed.
Hwei did that, with Hwei he might’ve felt powerless in comparison, but never, never ever did he have to hide.
And look at us now.
When Ezreal handed back the leaflet to Zeri at the festival last week and began to talk about terrorism he hadn't even noticed the hurt in Kayn’s eyes, but this little boy did. Fritz had rolled his eyes when Kayn couldn’t, seen through his fragile mask of politeness and neutrality with an ease reminiscent of Hwei and Jhin.
He slumps down in the chair, leans against the wooden backrest, and ignores the dirty pile of Sett's clothes beneath his ass.
How low does he have to sink for a tiny kid to understand him more than his own fucking boyfriend? And Yone, always mitigating, so scared of confrontation -
You’re one to speak.
Ok, sure, neither of them is good at this shit, but Kayn never had to be, and now he is biting his tongue, hiding, while your people are dying. He is a self-loathing coward, reaching out and opening his phone as if he’ll find something helpful there.
Jinx
At least you’ll keep eating pussy now :)
But dw i know you just wanna keep playin happy lil fam with that bitch while we get our asses kicked
Next time i ll get ya a gig and yall come playin with a real crowd
Kayn
Im sorry jinx ok
and if you care, ezreal wanted me to write a public apology and say that i didnt know what the protest was about and shit. I refused ofc and then yone and phel took my side and he went off crying.
Dunno what hes doin now, but if he annoys me again i ll make a tweet callin piltover a colonialist apardheit project
Jinx
Lux here, apartheid. And maybe dont do that, as true as it is. i know its hard but dont post anything on social media yet, once the law is through they ll use it to ruin whatever life you have now. But we re preparing a sharepic right now, you can share that once its up, hwei is phrasing it in a way that avoids all the nasty truths while saying them through the flower.
Maybe talk to yone or play the guitar, just please dont risk angering the authorities, especially not for the next 7 hours.
Kayn
Lol what
As if they read my twitter lmao
Jinx
You have a couple ten thousand followers, they will, and if you anger them they might take it out on us.
Did you read that they have changed the times of the curfew?
They already arrested some at the protest 😢
Kayn
What
I thought 10
They can change that just randomly??
Who did they arrest
Is everyone ok
Jinx
Lmao kayn almost goin piltie
Sure they can duh
Their bridge their laws
Bitches settin it to 20 so we wont make it home in time :)
That-
Yeah, they can do that. After Jinx shot the council down they changed the curfew so you were only allowed to cross the bridge from 10 am to 6 pm, of course with special permit from your employer if you had to work earlier, but only then.
So they practically banned all Zaunite kids from going to school in Piltover, made it impossible to socialise, go to music school or do a sport on the other side of the Pilt. And many adults lost their jobs because with the tiny extra hurdle of writing the permit their bosses took the opportunity to get rid of the "degenerate criminals"...
But that was then, as if the protest made them so angry that they changed it?
It asked questions demanding answers, and brought the resistance to the heart of their precious pearl. And build a bridge between you dirty little animals and the free speech-loving Pilties suddenly fighting by your side.
Shit, shit, shit.
Jinx
Hwei think that the government doesn’t want to risk a police brutality scandal just before this law passes, especially since its also being critiqued by academics and journalists. And some of those folks got arrested too for all we know, so there are piltie witnesses in jail with our people. Laurie got taken in, Atlas is losing his mind right now. Aside from her idk who you would know, most of our kids stayed home, we only took those that we knew would behave.
Kayn
I m sorry
You re ok?
Where r u, hidin or what? U wanna cm over?
(Lux you sound very Demacian rn lmao)
Jinx
Dw bro
We re at hweis
Lil party u know how it is
Better not bother your princess with our presence, dont wanna dirty his couch
It’s Yone’s couch, not like it matters.
Because she is with Hwei, probably smoking on his balcony while talking about politics and money laundering, and the anti-misinformation law that's supposedly super bad but Kayn didn’t even have the time to read it yet. Summaries, sure, but they are all probably talking about tiny nuances in the text… so, of course, she is with their brother, probably having the time of her life, all of them, at least Hwei knows what he is talking about… While Laurie, fucking Laurie, is in jail. Why did he leave, why isn’t he with them?
This is his home too, and yet…
His gaze falls out of the window, it’s still summer but it’s getting dark earlier now with September approaching, although the kids on the other side of the road are still playing football in their garden. It’s all so pretty here, reminiscent of the wealthy, boring suburbs of Ferropolis where he grew up. Clean, not quiet in the sense that noises are lacking, but in the sense that it’s safe. No need to be alert here, no sudden gunshots or explosions to shake you.
But also nothing to rattle your conscious, Kayn realises with a growing lump in his throat. Yes, he has sent money to his family in Zaun, and has visited on occasions, but mostly they met here, him and Jinx, and Lux.
Here, in this pillage of safety and boredom, nobody who needs it asks for money, no junkies talk to walls, no teenage whores try to sell their bodies to the person looking least dangerous.
A car is driving by, a fancy, black Mercedes, but it’s driving slow, either out of respect for the traffic regulations or to not disturb the nauseating silence suffocating this neighborhood.