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Tinkerbell was smiling as she headed down the narrow, well-lit corridor. Everything was metal -the walls, the ceiling, the floors- shiny enough that she could see her own reflection.
The lighting seemed to decrease the more she walked, until she finally reached the end of the corridor: a metal door with a sign that read ‘Tinkerbell’s laboratory. Everyone else, get lost or get shot’.
Tinkerbell pulled the handle on the door and stepped through. The next room was large and very cutting edge in appearance, walls covered by bulky machinery and tables buried under complex blueprints.
It was filled with dozens of robots. They were mostly humanoid in appearance, with spindly limbs and fake hair over slightly oversized heads. The upper half of the face was covered by a screen which displayed a pair of dots for eyes. Aside from some minor details, they were identical; all focused on some job, from building microchips to carrying crates to welding metal components.
None of the robots, or worker drones as Tinkerbell preferred to call them, took notice of her presence; or if they did they didn’t react to it and just kept operating as before. The woman paused to inspect the drones’ work, doing her best to take in every detail. As always, their performance was flawless and made in absolute silence, no chatter to distract them from their current task.
“Aah, this is why I love drones.” She smiled. “No need for breaks, no risk of going on strike or complains about their paycheck, just quiet obedience and unwavering loyalty.”
Her musing was suddenly interrupted by the sound of a door sliding open. Her eyes widened as she saw another drone march through the door. This one was different from the rest; she –because the hairstyle was clearly female- wore a black hoodie, beanie and boots, dull purple hair framing much brighter purple eyes that seemed to stare at everything in pure boredom.
A robot capable of emotion, the most advanced AI’s in existence. Without a doubt, one of Tinkerbell’s greatest inventions… and at the same time one of the most frustrating.
The digital eyes shrunk to pinpricks upon landing on her creator. “Ugh, it’s you.” The drone groaned. “To what do we owe the displeasure?”
Tinkerbell scowled at the utter lack of respect. There must’ve been a reason why she thought it was a good idea to give this machine the personality of an angsty teenager, but for the life of her she couldn’t remember it. Was it something to do with how a teenager’s mind was good for coming up with over the top and extra cool designs for the gear she marketed towards her supervillain clients? “Keep up that attitude and I’ll have you clean the garbage crusher while it’s active.”
“Bite me!” Was the eloquent response.
‘WHOEVER INVENTED TEENAGERS WAS AN EVEN MORE MALEVOLENT VILLAIN THAN ME’ Mused the inventor. “Unit Zeta Ipsilon…”
“It’s Uzi. Like the gun I asked for Christmas to give your inflated brain some extra air holes.”
“Unit Zeta Ipsilon, as much as your cheerful personality is a blessing to the soul.” Two could play at the snark game. “I’m actually here to inspect the new models.”
“New models?” Repeated Uzi. The screen face flickered in surprise and possibly a bit of worry.
“Scared to lose your top spot as my most best creation?” She turned and walked to a line of technological pods encased in the wall. To her amusement, the sassy drone was quick to follow. “Don’t worry, I won’t send you to the scrapheap as long as you can still prove useful. The bathroom cleaner DID recently come down with the flu…”
As Uzi fumed, digital tick marks appearing all over the screen, Tinkerbell tapped on a keypad. The pods hissed open one by one, and three robots rose up. They were taller than a worker drone, with jointed limbs, silver hair and five yellow lenses crowning their heads.
“I present you, the Murder Drone series!”
The first one’s hair were tied in twintails and she wore a black, short sleeved dress. Unlike Uzi’s genderless body, her chest was swollen up to mimic breasts. “Disassembly Drone 1, serial designation J, awaiting orders.”
The second was also a female, her hair in a bob-cut. Her outfit consisted of a black crop coat. “Disassembly Drone 2, serial designation V, ready to slaughter.” At the last word, mechanical bladed wings sprouted from her back and her hands were replaced by long sharp claws. Her smile was fanged, a large X where the eyes used to be. A thin tail swayed behind her like a snake about to strike, its syringe-like tip filled with a sickly yellow liquid.
Had she been able to, Uzi would’ve peed in her nonexistent pants. Even Tinkerbell was caught off guard.
“Note to self, reduce bloodlust on this one.” She muttered before turning to the last one.
The only male in the group wore a black winter coat and cap. Uzi’s programming skipped a bip as she noted how cute he was. “Disassembly Drone 3, serial designation N.” He gave a friendly wave. “How ya doing, buddies?”
J, V and Tinkerbell stared at him incredulously.
“… note to self: INCREASE bloodlust on this one.”
“Whaa? Wouldn’t you rather all of us to be friends?”
V smacked her face screen. “What an idiot.”
J opted to smack HIS face screen. “Shut up you moron! You’re giving us genocidal machines a bad name!”
“Will you be mad if I say you look hot when angry?”
J would deny it to the junkyard, but for a second her tail wagged at the compliment. She masked it with even more anger. “Mistress Tinkerbell? Permission to terminate this embarrassment.”
“Denied… for now.” The inventor sighed. “I’ll have to double check my data. You stay here until I come back.”
“Yes ma’am.”
And like that, the quartet were alone as Tinkerbell went to review the info she had on hand.
Looks were exchanged between them.
Ultimately, it was Uzi who broke the silence first. "So, killer robots. You know, I once asked for a combat upgrade so I could do more than this boring work on weapons engineering. But looking at you guys, I guess I should be glad that request was denied."
After having her temper prodded by Tink, she just couldn't resist leaning on the antagonistic side of things.
V and J's eyelights narrowed at her statement, the former asking, "And just what does that mean, short stack?"
Making an annoyed growly sound that N found oddly cute in combination with her scowl, Uzi replied that, "Better to be... height challenged,” she would NOT call herself short, “than to double as a sexbot."
The unexpected comment earned her wide eyed stares from all three, V exclaiming, "WHAT?!"
"Come on, look in a mirror. You and J both have emphasized chest mounds, round butts, narrow waists, and your overly sexy legs end in footless stiletto heels." Turning to N and trying not to check him out TOO MUCH, she added that, "As for him, the long coat makes a bit harder to notice, but thanks to that belt of his I can tell N has the same sinuous hips as you two. And he's the MALE unit on your little squad!" The male with a cute face and those hips really were- 'No, Uzi, focus on roasting these three more!' Turning her head to hide a blush –why were they even programmed to do that? What was the point?- she waved a hand their way and summarized, "So yeah, you guys look like you should be pole dancing, not killing."
N curiously patted his sides, confirming to himself what Uzi had said while J checked out her own body. Being the most short-tempered, V held up a hand and deployed a chainsaw from it. Uzi's eyelights expanded in fear as the taller gynoid lunged at her with a snarl, only to be stopped by N hooking his arms under her own, lifting her up.
"V, we're not supposed to break Tinkerbell's stuff. And I think that includes Uzi." He scolded gently.
Legs kicking angrily, V shouted that, "It would be worth a punishment!" Her tail lashed out to strike N, but was blocked when he intertwined his own with hers to restrain it.
"V, calm- Whoa!" V deployed her wings, forcing him to let go. But even as he fell, N's legs tangled with her so they both went down together.
"Let go of me!" V demanded. N pulled her back to his chest when she tried to get up, being careful to keep her chainsaw hand ABOVE them by holding up her arm.
"Sorry but that doesn't seem like a safe idea." N apologized, wrapping his legs around her waist as he maneuvered himself behind the feisty drone to try and pin her down. “For any of us.”
“What the heck are you even doing?!” V grunted. N now got both hands above her head as he pinned her face down… in a way that had him basically hugging her with his free hand while his legs remained tangled with hers and their tails were still wound together, N only applying force where she squirmed and letting up when she stopped resisting.
“Restraining you gently.” he explained before flipping them to put HER on top, somehow managing to get their tails coiled around her wrists while her head rested on his chest, cushioned by the soft coat.
“Well quit it, it’s… weird!” she exclaimed unsurely, feeling even more mixed on the matter as his arms wrapped around her to hold her still.
“No can do. I don’t want the creator to be mad at you.” On top of that note of concern, his expression also got a bit embarrassed as he added that, “Plus, you’re, uh, kinda really snuggly…” V blushed at that, head turning away.
As the two killing machines struggled against each other, Uzi let out a devious giggle of enjoyment at the nonsense she had managed to trigger while J rolled her eyes and facepalmed at this.
'Alright, conflict resolution time… in a way that only calms V down.’ the twintail sporting drone decided before saying, “V, you should stop. This adorable little toaster is just jealous that her figure is so flat in design.”
Uzi's snickering stopped abruptly and she turned towards J with a cry of “I am NOT!” before lunging at her. J easily sidestepped the clumsy attack, striking the punk themed, edgy teen drone’s butt with the stinger tail.
“EEEEYYOOWWWWW!” Howling, Uzi hopped around as she felt like her butt was on fire. Pain receptors, another thing that made ZERO sense for a robot. “ACID, fre-EEEK-ingAGH acid?!”
“J, that really wasn’t necessary.” N said while V cackled at Uzi's frantic and pained squirming.
And at that moment, the room doors reopened. “Okay, I’m ba…aaack?” Tinkerbell stared in disbelief at the scene she had returned to. Looking towards J, who seemed to be the least preoccupied, the blonde asked, “What happened here?!”
Clearing her throat, J explained that, “The purple haired drone saw fit to antagonize us and, rather than allow V to disassemble her in retaliation or simply scare her off, N took it upon himself to restrain her as harmlessly as possible, further aggravating her while Uzi responded to my conflict mediation techniques by attacking me. So I was forced to sting her with my tail, Mistress.”
Sighing, Tink said, “Right… N, let go of V and then neutralize the acid before it eats away all of Uzi's rear plating.”
“Sure, I love doing anything!” N stated, though a bit bashfully as he let go of V and approached the distressed Worker Drone, who forced herself to stop moving around. Her screen flickered with various changes and twitches in her expression.
“So, how is this going to wo- EEEEEEP!” The teen promptly jumped three feet high as N crouched down and proceeded to LICK her butt, holding it in place for three seconds while his saliva neutralized the nanite acid.
A quick laugh escaping her, Tink half wondered if the reason she had given a Worker Drone the ‘angsty teen’ personality was to watch her fume and blush with indignity like Unit Zeta Ipsilon was right now.
~
"And you're sure that these 3 were the right choices?" Tinkerbell asked, laptop on her desk with a video call in progress.
The woman on the other end of the call was wearing a tight yet soft armored jumpsuit of a shiny, silvery color that that hugged her curves and had a white crop top on over it a reflective oxygen helmet that hid her face and was decorated small a rainbow and smiley face sticker on the top right side of the visor as well as a cap atop her head that said ‘FLUFF’ in red letters and (strangely) featured a large white bow.
And based on the longsword on her back and holstered revolver she carried contrasting against this space age look, one could only guess that her villain theme was a bit cobbled together.
Nodding, she answered with an Australian accent ringing clear that she was, "Sure as can be, boss. They've been my favorites for a reason. Enthusiastic on the job and lots of fun with those personality cores you provided."
"Just as long as they're not a repeat of that more... rebellious purple one. I don't know why you talked me out of scrapping her." the blonde replied.
"Oh, you know she's not THAT bad. And 'sides, she does custom jobs better than any of the standard drones."
"...Fair enough. Anyways, back on topic: the refits and remodeling are done, so I'm going to get send them out on their first mission."
The woman on the other end of the video call replied with an, "Aww, can't it wait til I get back this weekend? I already had to miss them coming out of their pods"
"You're the one who chose NOW of all times to go for a smash and grab halfway across the globe."
"I need the parts for my next project!"
"And I’ve already received payment for the test job I'm going to send the squad out on." Tink finished explaining before adding on a, "You can check out how they're functioning when you get back, Tess."
With an exaggerated sigh, the helmeted woman replied with a, "Fiiinnne..." Seeming to notice something off to her right, she then said, "Alright, it's getting late here, so I'm gonna get a move on. Tessa Elliot out." And like that, she ended the call and the green garbed put her own device away.
~
3 days later…
“Okay, looking good… looking good…” Tinkerbell stated, reviewing the video logs from the mission she had sent her Murder Drones out on.
Billing every single supervillain in prison for a breakout when the real goal was to test out her killing machines had been a very profitable idea. And so far, the footage showed very promising results. Tessa’s faith in the trio for this sort of work seems to have been well placed. Paired with all the upgrades Tinkerbell had given them, they dealt with their opposition easily.
The healing nanites worked magnificently for fixing what damage the guards did; bullets were useless against the titanium skin, and what few laser weapons they had at their disposal could only manage so much when faced with fast moving, fast flying, and dangerously armed machines who wouldn’t sit still. Missile launchers, blades and other armaments in the drones performed exceptionally, though the laser beams seemed to cause slight overheating -N had to carry V out when she went too crazy with that feature and nearly burned her circuitry. EMP shielding held up fine…
*ringing-wing*jingle*ring**
The bell chime from Tinkerbell’s comm caused her to pause the footage and accept the call. “Hello.”
“Uh, Mistress Tinkerbell, we need you to, uh, ‘mediate a dispute.’ At least, that’s what J said.”
Rolling her eyes, the blonde responded with, “Elaborate, N.”
“Right, you see, Uzi was, according to J anyways, ‘harboring contraband media and spouting off overly hostile, anti-corporate propaganda’ by saying how we should get anime without her having to pirate it, which she has been doing. And also swiping fuel and other energy sources from the inventory to serve as snacks. Which, ya know, if we could get some of that-”
“I don’t care how you watch anime or whatever as long as it doesn’t come from my pockets, but I will NOT waste extra batteries or fuel just to entertain you.” Rubbing her temples to calm down, Tinkerbell then asked, “How much did she take?”
“One barrel of gasoline, 4 twelve packs of AA batteries and a few bottles of ethanol.”
“I understand. Inform Unit Zeta Ipsilon I’m cutting her recharge period in half for the next 3 days while she pulls double time on the newest weapon designs on her quota in HALF THE USUAL TIME. Also, tell J to give our little rebel a dozen spanks for each stolen item, as hard as she wants. Oh and make sure to record it.”
“WHAT?!” Uzi could be heard screaming in the background just before Tink cut the call.
~
“No no no nonono NO! Hell no, I am NOT getting spanked like a baby meatsack!” Uzi yelled even as J took a seat and pulled the squirming and thrashing drone over her knees.
V giggled in sadistic delight, already recording every second of this. N, however, looked a bit uneasy.
The spanking may be warranted, rules were rules after all; but reducing Uzi’s recharge time so much AND moving up her quota deadline for customizing the weapon designs and functions? That was pretty harsh. And if he was being honest, he didn’t disagree with Uzi about wanting energy snacks. The battery she offered him before had been downright yummy! And if the ethanol was half as good as she claimed it to be-
*CLANG*
“Gyuhuurghhh!” His thoughts were cut off as J delivered the first spank. The worker drone tried to keep her exclamation of pain as quiet as possible out of pride, but couldn’t keep it all in.
Again: pain receptors, WHY?!
CLANG
“Ugh!”
CLANG
“Ow!”
CLANG
“Ouchie!”
“Can you scream louder for the camera?” V asked sardonically, zooming in on the metal backside. The barrage of strikes was so powerful the stainless steel had begun to heat up, turning a light red. “And some tears would help improve visual impact.”
“Bite –ow!- me.” Uzi’s screen glitched with each hit, randomly showing error messages and curse words. “Also we don’t have tear ducts, you moron!”
“Ooh, feisty. I like it. But you know what I like even more?” J smirked and calibrated her arm servos to double the power output of her spanks. “It doesn’t matter if I damage your body, it can always be repaired. Which means, no need to hold back.”
CLANG
CLANG
CLANG
“OOOOWWWWWWW!” Howled Uzi as actual dents formed on her rear end. She fought back, kicking blindly and punching J everywhere she could reach. All for naught as her strength was insignificant compared to the more advanced model.
It did, however, have the result to impress N with her determination. Or perhaps she was simply too stubborn for her own good. In any case the boy felt awestruck, so much so he decided to sneak her a can of warm oil after J was done. Then they could all put this incident behind and start over.
He just knew their little quartet were going to be the best of friends.
The end