Archive of Our Own

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The company had been riding since sunrise, but contrary to the usual schedule of riding until sundown, it was decided that the group would stop early and make camp. You dismounted from your horse with familiar ease after the ponies were gathered close together. Everyone else in the group did the same after gathering their packs, weapons, and other equipment. You gathered your own belongings off your sweet pony and then found a spot beside a tree nearby to call your own. Sighing in relief, you placed your things down and sat with your back against its trunk eager to rest.

The forest so far had been quite broad as the group made their way through. Filled with great, tall trees and old overgrown thickets of green along with thin Birches consistently lining the rough path in patches. This remained true here as well, with trees, hemlock or fir in appearance, you weren’t sure, surrounding a wide flat opening in the middle not far from the path. The sunlight breached through the canopy and the beams of the early afternoon sun landed in the center. As surprisingly quiet as the forest had been, the warm Autumn sun and the fluttering of its inhabitants from above made it feel alive. 

To the left of you near the path, Kili attended to the ponies, who were enjoying some light fruit while they settled in. Bilbo looked to accompany Kili, an apple in hand, and Thorin, Dwalin, Fili, and Balin gathered in discussion nearby. You closed your eyes and leaned your head back to try and briefly rest your mind before helping the others get camp setup. 

You were relieved for the early stop today because you didn’t get as much sleep last night as you had wanted, and you could feel your body becoming weary. It was hard not to zone out on the trek this morning, so hopefully tonight you could take advantage of the extra time to rest.

Recently, you couldn’t help but think of your father in his ill state, and as the eldest, the additional guilt you hung upon yourself for leaving your parents was beginning to weigh on you. If only you were there to help take care of him, monitor his health, and keep both of them company, then you could have peace of mind without your thoughts keeping you up at night.

But of course, you knew the choice you made to come on this journey and attempt to restore hope for your people. To keep such conflicting thoughts at bay was a never ending battle for an eldest daughter.

The sound of footsteps pulled you to open your eyes. Ori and Dori sat down their packs in a spot next to you on the right with Nori shortly following after and placing his own pack down and tossing a pack of knives on top to attend to later. 

“Y’alright there, Y/N?” Dori asked. You nodded. “I’m plenty fine, just got a bit of a headache is all. Couldn’t sleep much last night.”  “Ah, not surprised. Somethin’ I expected to happen to all of us, if not on the daily. I’ve got just the thing.” He searched around in his pack for a minute and pulled out a small bag he used to store various homemade teas and smaller pouches of herbs. 

“Here. My own blend. A bit of Chamomile and a pinch of ginger should do the trick. I was going to brew up some tea anyway, so I’ll make this for ya’ once they get the fire goin’.” He offered. 

“Oh, really? That’d be lovely, Dori.” You smiled. 

He waved his hand down. “Don’t mention it. Yer’ one of the only ones here who really appreciates all that a proper blend can offer.” He said with a bit of dramatic emphasis. 

Smiling again, you took notice of Nori standing behind, who rolled his eyes. Dori followed your focus and shook his head at Nori. “Now you, don’t even start.” He said. 

Nori put his hands up to feign innocence. “I didn’t say nothin’”, he said. Going back to his own business, he began talking to Ori who was preparing to continue knitting an article of clothing. 

“Anyhow, Y/N, I’ll put this on for ya’ soon.” Dori said.

You nodded again in appreciation, thankful for Dori’s kindness towards you. 

You didn’t understand exactly why, but since you joined the company, Dori had taken to you fondly and seemed to look out for you. If there were any signs of sickness or injury, then he was there to make it his business. It wasn’t to the same level of attention he paid to Ori, bless him, but it felt as if you had an older brother in the group. Which was just as amusing as it was helpful in soothing the twinge of loneliness you felt by being without your own siblings.

For a few minutes you went back into the comfort of the tree, listening to distant talk and absentmindedly watching the fire Gloin was putting together. Fili and Kili’s boots moved behind and into the forest, pushing a wild bush below to the side, probably setting out to hunt. More leaves rustled behind you and then there was the humming of an insect above your head. 

You stood up to dust yourself off and walked towards Bilbo, who was sitting on a rock still by the ponies. 

“Hey, Bilbo”, you said, stopping to give yours a friendly rub on the head.   

Bilbo looked up from the pages he held in his hand. “Oh, hi, Y/N.”

“I don’t want to interrupt your writing, so please don’t mind me. Just wanted to give Glory here some love.” 

Bilbo put his ink pen away into the pocket of his shirt. “Don’t be sily, not at all! Just jotting down a thing or two to expand upon later. The past few days have been quite calm really, so there’s not been much to add.”

You slowly pet Glory’s hair and the little braids you put there. “Well, there was something I was curious to get your insight on, given that you are a Hobbit and your kind are known for appreciating the comforts of home and simplicities of life.”

“Ah, well, yes that is true. What would you like to know?” He asked.

“As you may be quite familiar with home life and big families, I was wanting to ask how you deal with feelings of homesickness?” 

Bilbo gave an endearing smile. “Contrary to the common notion of hobbits having several children or large close-knit families, I’m afraid I do not have children of my own, or a large family to be close with. But, I do understand the feeling of homesickness very, very well.”

“I take great pride in my home and find an unexplainable comfort in it as I imagine you do as well, so when we are apart from our home for as long as this we are bound to miss it.”

His face went a bit serious. “Ah, though um, which you all obviously know much more about I’m sure. You don’t need me to say so-.”

Your cheeks widened into a smile. You weren’t sure if all Hobbit’s were as well mannered as Bilbo.  it was endearing. What dwarf could badmouth Bilbo when he was one of the only in Middle Earth who even slightly cared?

“In a different sense.” You responded. “But I'm not from The Lonely Mountain, I grew up in a separate community to the South. I agree with you.”

Bilbo eased back to his usual self and you moved to sit down on the rock near to him. “I miss it..  I'm afraid I’ve been feeling a bit worried about my family at home.” You said.

“How so?” Bilbo asked.

“I cannot help but wonder how they’re doing in my absence.”

Bilbo nodded. ”I understand. The two of us came along without knowing anybody, so it was not the easiest of adjustments.” He chuckled and thought it over for a moment or two. “But, against what doubts I had, what I found to help my struggles of homesickness and regret is actually everyone here.”

“I could say that my writing has helped, but in all seriousness - the honest answer I suppose is that.” 

“I didn’t expect it, not in the slightest, believe me, but somehow I’ve gotten to know each of you better than before.” 

While listening to the Hobbits’ vocalized thoughts, you nodded in agreement and he turned his head to reflect on himself.

“What I mean to say is, Oh, it’s a bit embarrassing”, Bilbo took more notice of his words and rubbed his temple with his fingers for a second “but I’ve found the constant company to have eased the discomforts, and it has pushed me to appreciate all there is, beyond the Shire at least.”

You chuckled at him. “You don’t need to be concerned with saying embarrassing things in front of me. Besides, you’re right.” You leaned back a little. “We’re in this together, and I’m grateful to be with everyone here. I guess that even though I cannot be with my own family, I can find familiar comforts here.” 

You gave him a grateful look. “It’s helpful. Thanks, Bilbo.” You said.

He gave a nod. “But, um, Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

He cleared his throat with a cough. “Well, you probably don’t need to mention that to anyone here, though. I’m sure none of them would be interested in hearing such things.”

You laughed more than before. “Got it. But you know you can trust me, I would never spill anything to anyone unless you said so.”  

You checked the area around you quickly to make sure nobody was nearby, and a cheeky grin made its way onto your face. “Especially not in front of a certain someone.”

Bilbo threw a hand over his forehead. “Oh dear. Honestly, why must I be victim to this.”

You giggled a little but left the subject alone for now. 

Instead, you looked ahead towards the others in camp. Everyone started to focus on their own things and disperse into their groups. Almost unconsciously, you attempted to locate one dwarf in particular, who was nowhere to be found. You checked behind you and over near the path by Thorin, but you couldn’t find the tall burly dwarf who was always by the King’s side. 

After a great sigh, you continued to chat to Bilbo. “Well, at least he drops subtle hints to you every now and then. Dwalin always keeps things on the surface level with me.” 

“Really?” Bilbo asked, lowering his tone. “I thought you two would have things in common. But, then again he’s very serious about his position next to Thorin. Maybe he doesn’t think about such things?”

“Hm, I suppose so.” You brought your legs up on the rock and wrapped your arms around your knees tightly. “Perhaps it just hasn’t crossed his mind.” 

You continued. “I want to get to know him on a deeper level, but his defense is so incredibly tough. Elusive even.” You sighed again, unsure of what direction to take with Dwalin. 

There would be times when you would get the opportunity to talk to each other, but it would usually consist of talk related to the mission at hand. Sometimes he would ask questions, and you would tell him about yourself, your family, and about your own drive and motivation for the journey, but as soon as you attempted to get to know more about him on a deeper, more personal level, he would evade your curious questions. 

It was hard to get to really know him for one thing, and your attempts at making any small romantic advancements fell flat. At times, you even tried to approach the warrior and create an opportunity to have some one-on-one time, like offering to accompany him to go hunting, trying to ride close to him, find an empty spot by him while walking along a path, or going out of your way to bring over food or drink, but it wasn’t always successful in ways you’d hoped, and when it was, it was only for a short period of time. 

As a result, you made an effort to lean more on the others when it came to learning more about Dwalin, but their knowledge only went so far, and Thorin lent little information about his distant cousin before he got curious about your intentions, and you didn’t want your interest to be so obvious. It was frustrating to say the least, not being able to get closer to the one dwarf your attraction pulled at. 

“I wonder if I should try harder somehow to show my interest.” You said to Bilbo.

He rubbed his chin and tilted his head slightly to the other side. “I’m not so sure.. He has a very hard exterior. Pushing too hard might have the opposite effect.”  

You puffed. “You would think I would know how to flirt with, well half of my own kind, but alas, here we are.”

“No, I’m sure your efforts are appropriate. It doesn’t help though, that you just so happened to fix your eyes on one of the most intimidating, stern members of our group.” He added with a laugh.

“Aren’t we lucky?” You smirked, getting another short chuckle out of Bilbo. 

“Cursed may be more appropriate.” He returned, adjusting the strap of his pants and rolling his eyes. 

Leaning your arms back, you stretched your legs back out straight. “But it is true. For now, I’ll settle on trying to make my intentions clear and give it some time. As you said, I shouldn’t push too much.” You voiced all but defeated.

Bilbo looked like he was about to add something else, but in the short distance, you saw Dori preparing the tea he mentioned earlier, and making his way over towards you.

“Here you are, Y/N. Hope this helps with yer’ head.” You eagerly grasped the warm cup in both hands and thanked him again before taking a sip. 

“Ey, Bilbo. Would’a like some?” Dori offered while carrying his own portion. 

“Yes, that’d be quite nice, Dori. I’ll take some.” Bilbo said. 

The eldest Ri brother nodded and left to bring over a fresh cup from the kettle, and handed it over to Bilbo. 

“Who knew we could still enjoy the pleasures of afternoon tea?” Bilbo said.

“Aye, that’s the spirit Bilbo. Shouldn’t waste the time when we get it.” Dori said. 

You took another warm sip. It eased your mind and refreshed your body. “ I’m at ease already, Dori. Where did you become such a great tea sommelier?” 

“Oh come now,” he said, “it’s just somethin’ I picked up.” He took a drink of his own with his pinky finger lifted in the air.

“I’ve also got my hands on these.” He whispered with a finger over his mouth as if it were a secret. He pulled out a small box and lifted the lid to uncover a small handful of cookies inside of varying types. 

“Dori, you devil.” Bilbo said, taking one and hiding it away in the pocket on his shirt. 

“You spoil us.” You whispered, taking one of the small sugar cookies. 

Dori brushed their compliments off with a grin, satisfied with himself. 

“I was just talking to Bilbo here about how to get.. closer to someone.” 

“Well, it may be obvious, but have ya’ talked to this person?” Dori said, raising a brow.

You nodded. “I have, whenever able, but he has such an.. unreadable exterior.” You glanced over at Bilbo and then back to Dori again. “I’m worried he may be choosing not to acknowledge my interest.”

“Oh, that brute”, Dori shook his head when he recognized who you were referring to. “Could be. That one, he’s too proud for his own good. I don’t know what you see in him, Y/N. He should realize how lucky he is to have the attention of a lady like you.”

“Balin was tellin’ ‘em enough. Not to be so difficult.”

“Balin?” You asked.

Dori paused. “Or I may have heard something of the like.” He said in a lower tone. 

“Y’know, ya’ deserve someone to appreciate ya, Y/N.” He began, obviously going somewhere. 

“My Ori’s a bit on the younger side, but he’s well of age, and thinks quite highly of you.” 

And there it was. “Which I appreciate, but I’m afraid Ori and I have become good friends and nothing more” you said, to which Dori accepted with a nod. It was nice of Dori to - again - propose the idea of his brother, or on behalf of him - you didn’t know, but you both obviously knew it was out of the question. Still, he liked to play around with the idea once in a while. 

Bilbo regained his train of thought and offered up some different advice. “Hm.. what you could do, rather, is put more space between you.”

You gave him a confused expression. “How?” 

“Only temporarily. What I mean is to be in clear view of him, near to him, but not speak with him. You are very charming, of course, so just by being near to him and showing that off, he may find himself drawn to you.”

Dori’s eyes lit up with mischief. “Ah, bring him to you .”

“Bingo,” Bilbo said. “See if he takes the initiative. I’ve witnessed plenty of Hobbit courtings in my day.” He added.

“Oh, how fun.” Dori said, taking another sip of tea. 

You debated how the idea would play out. Would it even make a difference? What was the point of purposefully not talking to him? Oh well, you thought, might as well give Bilbo’s suggestion a go somehow. It seemed to be a successful tactic for Hobbit women at least. Use your natural charm to entice his attention.You could do that.

“I’ll think about it.” You finished your drink with one last sip and stood up. “For now, I’m going to go take a look around and see if there’s anything nearby.” With that, you left into the woods. 

The trees were tall and thin. They towered over you as you walked under them and through the pockets of shade. It was calm and quiet. Birds chirped in the distance and the leaves of the trees rustled in the leisurely wind. The long blades of grass swayed ever so gently and brushed up against the side of your boots as you walked, some green and golden in color underneath the bright light peeking through. 

On sunny days like this the forest could be peaceful and its colors could really shine come summer or autumn. If only your path this year would lead you through conflict-free forests such as this. 

You ventured up towards the right. The forest seemed to go on just as it was. Peaceful. Undisturbed. But soon you were able to hear the sound of water and once you got a few steps closer you saw a small shallow stream loosely lined with small moss covered rocks and pebbles. 

You took a mental note of its distance from camp before leaning down and feeling the smooth current of the water on your fingertips. It was too shallow to be of much use, but it could still be a source of drinking water. 

You jumped to the other side for a brief look around and discovered a few trees bearing fruit, and upon closer inspection you could tell that they were apples, fairly ripe in color, and downhill a fair distance behind the trees there were thick, wild bushes that held a fair amount of late summer blackberries as well.  

You had yet to find any ripe fruit in the forest so far, and had not expected to find any here either, but to your surprise, there was enough to fill at least two small bags. There were no houses or signs of other camps nearby as far as you could tell, so after a more thorough inspection of their state under the shade, you carefully picked as many as you could carry in the small pouch at your side. The berries were soft and fragile under your fingertips and dark in color. Easily they dropped from the vines that held them. 

You reached up higher and gently pushed aside a few thick low hanging leaves of the wild bush to obtain the berries nestled behind, but a sharp thorn on a larger vine from underneath nipped at the skin of your fingertip. You immediately pulled your hand back and applied pressure to the cut. The pain subsided quickly, but a small amount of blood had been drawn. You would have to get something for minor wounds later. 

Before spending too much time away from camp, you grabbed two handfuls of apples for the ponies and quickly rinsed the fruit in the water, and then turned to cross the river and go back the way you came. While you walked you reached in to try one of the sweet berries out of the pouch at your side and a thought popped into your mind about sharing them with Dwalin. You couldn’t help but smile at the idea. But then you smiled even longer at the amusing probability for Dwalin to turn down such an innocent offer as berries in order to keep up appearances.

Though surely, he enjoyed a berry from time to time, right? 

But shortly after that thought, you were nearly back at camp when suddenly you heard the sound of footsteps brushing against the blades of grass. You reached for the knife in your belt in case you needed to quickly defend yourself against an animal, and took a step back, waiting. But to your relief, it was Balin who emerged from the side path and into view. 

“Oh, Balin, it's you.” 

“Ay, lass, I was wonderin’ where ya’ went off to.” He said with a familiar smile. 

“I was taking a look ‘round North of camp.” You gestured behind you. “Not far back there’s a small stream. Must be a larger body of water not far from here.”

He gestured behind him in the opposite direction. “Aye. I just came that way. There’s a river a bit of a ways down that way, and there’s no strong current either. Dwalin’s down there now choppin’ firewood.” Balin said.

“Oh, like I thought. Fortunately, these parts have been calm. I haven’t sensed anything or anyone.”

“Indeed.”

“By the way, would you mind taking these back to camp? I found them along the way.” You held out the few apples in your bag. 

“I can. Are ya’ not headin’ back to camp?” He questioned, taking them from your hands. 

“Not yet. I think I might take a wee look at the river first.” 

Now that you knew Dwalin was down there, you wanted to talk to him, or see him, or something. You weren’t entirely sure yet. You shifted your weight between your feet in the grass and paused the conversation, debating if you should ask Balin for some advice pertaining to his brother. 

“Y’alright, lass? Somethin’ on yer’ mind?” 

“..May I ask you a question?” You asked.

“A‘course.” Balin nodded.

“Do you happen to know if I may have done.. something to.. offend your brother?” Now Balin tilted his head just a hair and tightened his brows.

You loosely crossed your arms. “He gets along with the lads well enough it seems, but he’s - how do I put it - still notably distant when it comes to his interactions with me. I was worried I may have offended him in some way.” You said softly.

He raised his eyebrows then as he really understood your question. “Hm, well I haven’t heard anythin’ of that sort, exactly.”

“I see.” You said, tilting your own head. “Wait, ‘exactly’?”

“You know how Khazdân are, Y/N.” He chuckled.”Especially Dwalin. Keeps much to himself even with me.” 

He looked at you expectantly. “What you might consider is the possibility that he’s unsure how to approach ya’. Afterall, you are a Khazdûna of notable lineage, not to mention a familiar one. Even the mightiest lad would be a wee bit bashful.” 

“Half Khazdûna” You corrected.

“Nonetheless. He’ll come around.” He said. “I know my brother, and I’ve come to know how bright spirited you are. A true Laslel. I'm sure you'll get through ta’ him.”

“Balin, you sweet talker.” You smiled. “That means a lot. Thank you.” You were not expecting to receive such an honest compliment and didn’t know whether to smile or hug him, but it gave you some well needed confidence nonetheless.

“Right. Well, then, I’ll leave ya’ to it.” He nodded and gave a small wave before moving towards camp. 

You treaded along towards the river and soon the forest opened up to a large area. Looking out into the open, you immediately took notice of Dwalin standing in the center of the dry, flat riverbank with a firm grip on the handle of one of his axes, Ukhlat, and lining up the next piece of broken tree trunk on a larger, more sturdy stump. 

Your eyes couldn't help but peruse over his massive biceps. The prominent curves of his upper arms flexed when he raised his axe from up over his head down to where it hit the head of the log below his waist. The sound of snapping wood cracked through the air of the river when his axe made contact with the wood and split it clean through the middle. He looked strong. 

Sensing a dry patch in your throat, you quickly swallowed and regained focus.

You approached the open area and picked out a large rock by the river to sit on. You climbed on and removed the boots you wore and safely dangled your legs from the rock. Here, you were close enough to touch the stream and enjoy its cooling touch on your skin while also being within clear eyesight of the handsome dwarf on the white pebbled riverbank when he so much as glanced the other way. 

You thought back to Bilbo’s suggestion earlier and wondered how you would put it into action. Should you just..stay here and wait until he notices you? And if that happened, what then? Is this really how Hobbits engage in courting one another? You knew Dwalin well enough at this point to understand that it wouldn’t be easy and you were losing any hope you had in the idea, but at the same time you really didn't have much to lose.

For now, you nestled into your place near the river. The sky was still just as bright, but now the placement of the sun shifted to rest against the herd of trees while the gentle current of the river glided against the protruding rocks below. You basked in the natural tranquility of fresh afternoon air, free from being stuck on pony back.

Another crack of wood rang through the air.

Pulling the bottoms of your pant legs up and folding them up to your knees, you moved closer to the edge to dip your feet into the water below, flinching at the chilly temperature at first, but submerged them. The playful flow of water wrapped around your ankles and lapped at your skin, trickling as you moved and adjusted to its temperature under the shade. It felt soft, like air.

From the corner of your eye, you noticed Dwalin move to collect more extra wood from the small pile at the side. He became aware of your presence then and slung Ukhlat over his shoulder. 

“Y’alright there, lass?” He called. “Don’t want a piece to fly off in your direction. Might be a bad spot to be whilst I cut this wood.” He said in his usual no nonsense gruff tone.

You offered a small smile and shook your head. “It’s alright. I think I’m far enough away. Don’t mind me.”

You turned your head back and swayed your legs in the water once your eyes began to linger where they surely shouldn't. Dwalin grumbled and returned to his task without a word.

Taking in the sounds of nature and the soothing feeling of the river current around your feet, you reached back to feel the long braid of your hair. As special as hair was in dwarven culture, especially the long, and often thick hair of fiercely protected female dwarves, you had to let go of the prickles of vulnerability you felt when braiding or tying your hair back in front of members of the company. 

You didn’t mind though, knowing that many everyday pleasantries and customs would have to be put aside anyway. Usually you kept it braided and would only undo them to brush through your hair at night or bathe away from everyone’s sight. 

As you gently stroked the soft bumps of your braid, you felt yourself easing into the rhythmic sounds around you. Soon a humming vibrated in your chest and you sank into your little space there upon the rock and began to twist and twiddle the ends of your hair around your fingers while you continued to hum to yourself. 

An idea popped into your head. A Mostly innocent idea.

Pulling at the end tie, you removed it and gently undid the firm lacing of the braid you did this morning, starting from the bottom and up to the back of your head and setting the locks of your hair loose. There was an immediate feeling of relief as the tension of your braid disappeared. You intertwined your fingers through its thickness to get rid of any tangles or unruly spots and smooth it out in place of a brush. It freely cascaded down past your shoulders in soft waves and the light woodsy sweet scent of your hair oil lingered. You knew this would draw in Dwalin’s attention easily.

You swept the thickness of it over your right shoulder to one side and brushed back the hair above your left ear in an attempt to sneak a modest peak over to him. He met your glance right away with a stern gaze. As if mesmerized, his intense narrowed blue eyes were fixed to your fingers as they combed through the soft loose curls that lay by your shoulders, and his motions stilled in order to pay full attention. But just a moment later when he caught himself in your eyes, he refocused his attention to the fastening of his belt and busied himself by adjusting the leather straps across his chest and checking the pieces of cut wood.

A coy little smile snuck its way to your lips. While watching his movements just a moment longer you leisurely ran your fingers through the very ends of your hair before turning back. 

Then, you moved to separate different sections of your hair to style it back up into another neat but comfortable braid just as you usually did. Your fingers formed small thin side braids over your ears and incorporated them into sections used for the larger dutch-like braid at the back. You took your time with it to create a more complex style than before, crossing sections over each other again and again and pulling at it gently to keep it tight until you reached the end and enclosed it with the same golden beads you always used. 

All dwarves knew such plain exposure of the fullness of one's hair was usually something to indulge in privately, or was something only to be seen after courting had begun. But it felt freeing almost - to put the usual customs aside on this journey. And letting your hair down in front of Dwalin alone sparked a new sense of thrill, as short-lived as it was.

But not long afterwards, the sounds of chopping wood stopped and he seemed to be gathering the cut pieces together. You hoped he wouldn’t be leaving already.

Absentmindedly watching two brown birds on the opposite riverbank, you didn’t want to look over in high hopes that he would find his way towards you. 

But all sounds of his movements ceased. You took your legs out of the water and looked over to check, and to your disappointment he was gone, leaving the area empty. He had left with the firewood back towards camp, completely deflating your mood and all motivation to even continue to try.

He didn’t have a desire to talk to you. That was clear enough. You released a sigh into the air and let yourself embrace the urge to sulk. The feelings you had towards that bald headed gruff of a dwarf were nothing like you had felt towards any before, dwarf or not, so it was disappointing to say the least that none of your approaches worked. Obviously, he didn’t want to recognize your intentions. From now on you decided to stop trying and just mind your business. Simple as that.

You allowed yourself to sulk for a while, absentmindedly rubbing the sore spot on your finger. 

You didn’t really want to be around Dwalin now. What a silly lass you appeared to be acting like that. Flirting with someone completely uninterested. Someone you would be stuck working with for the next year or more. All you wanted to do was hide in sorrow and embarrassment.. but what other choice did you have besides dragging yourself back to camp and pretending as if all was fine. 

Once your legs were dry enough, you slid your boots back on and fastened them, climbed down from the rock, and took a few very slow steps towards the forest path.

You didn't make it very far at all though before Dwalin emerged again. “Headin’ back to camp, lass?” He asked.

This isn’t fair. Why is he here again? He should just leave you alone and spare you the heartache. 

“Yes, I am.” You said, as normal as possible.

He watched you and paused hesitantly, “Well, I had to drop off the firewood but came back to give ya’ this.” He handed over a very small box used for minor first aid while on the road. 

“Thank you, but how did you..?” 

“Balin mentioned you might’ve gotten a minor injury. I thought this should help.” He answered. 

How Balin even saw the small cut on your finger, you didn’t know. It was impressive - his renowned eyesight was no joke. 

“Oh..very minor but.. right.” You bumbled. Grabbing a small finger sized bandage from inside, you wrapped it over your finger and stored the box at your belt. 

Dwalin paused awkwardly again while he watched you. “I’m plannin’ on stayin’ by the river if... if ya’d like to stay longer.”

The unsteady glances, the tight jaw, his hesitance; it was a very different look than his usual stoic, confident self. Was he nervous? You would’ve taken more notice if not for the exceptionally glum feeling still sitting fresh in your chest.

“That’s alright. The day is getting late and the lads should be making supper soon enough.” You moved to leave but then he began to say something more.

“Well, lass, I also came back to.. well I’d..” 

He gave a cough then continued. “I’d like to talk to ya’”. He urged you with a clear glint of hope in his eyes. 

You watched him, vaguely unsure, but the hopeful look on his face showed he was serious. 

Oh. He wants to talk to you. The world seemed to gain a little more of its color then after you heard him say that. Maybe it worked after all?  “Oh.. alright.” You nodded with a new energy.

The two of you took a seat on the dry pebbles at the riverside. Again you folded your legs with your knees at your chest and Dwalin folded his right leg and rested his hand over it.

He spoke up first. “What happened to yer’ hand?” He gestured.

“I took a look around the area earlier to um, clear my mind and came across some fruit, though the vines turned out to be sharper than expected.” Glancing down at the bandage made you remember the worries weighing on your mind earlier.

You looked to him and sunk into the safe, comforting feeling his presence gave you. “I’ve been worried. I was thinking about my family’s health back in Ered Luin, and of my siblings and their young children.”

Dwalin listened quietly just as he usually did. It was like you could tell him anything and he'd keep it locked up tight and secure like a vault. Well.. almost anything.

“How do you s’pose your Adad is doing?” He held an intent look, his bushy charcoal brows tightening together into a look of concern that others may easily mistake for a scowl.

A sigh fell from your chest. “I've come to terms that he's more than likely doing just fine. He may very well still be ill, but so long as my mother and siblings are there, he will surely be fine.” 

“If he’s any descendent of Nar, then I know he will withstand any ailment.” He said in support.

A smile tugged at the corner of your mouth. “You're right about that. It is nothing too serious to warrant such heavy concern from me, really.” 

Dwalin thought about that for a moment and his gaze lingered over to the river with a distant look. “I've never met ‘em, but I remember my Adad had said he was a good man. And a strong comrade in battle.” 

His right hand tightened into a loose grip. “They fought shoulder to shoulder.” 

The not so distant past you shared hit you again. Those who found refuge in the Dunland community after the fall of Azsâlul'abad were fiercely tight-knit, though you two were children at the time. 

The battles many of them later fought together were something that binded your families for life. You had personally never met Dwalin’s father, or didn’t remember if you had. The battle was too soon. But you knew that if Fundin had survived, he wouldn’t have been much older than your own father was, and that viciously tugged at your heart.

To avoid treading too heavily on the past, you made sure to choose your words very carefully. “What was your father like?” You whispered.

Dwalin opened up a little more and you just watched him. “He taught me everything. Passed down all he knew to us, Balin and I. He was strong, loyal, and dependable until the end. He moved with great conviction; always a dark, great long beard tucked beneath his belt.” 

“Though..” he said, reeling it back, “like many of Durin’s Folk, his stubborn tendencies could get the better a’ him.” His blue eyes came back into the present and met yours.

A mindful, soft smile spread across your face. “It sounds like he was a good man.”

“Aye.” He nodded. “Yours too. Not surprised how strong and smart ya’ are.” He said. “Or how brilliantly yer’ hair shines.” He admitted with a look somehow both confident and pained, as if was internally punching himself afterwards.

Did you hear that correctly? Hope glistened in your chest. “It's interesting to hear more.. about you.” You said, attempting to delve a little further.

He studied you for a moment as if he had more to say but you waited, intentionally looking at the water to try and calm your creeping nerves and the beating in your chest. There was more you wanted to say during your time alone but would let him take the lead. It was quiet for a few moments while you both took in the pause in conversation. The brisk flow of the river continued on under the slow setting sun. Dwalin’s brows were still furrowed and somehow, he was even more still than before. 

“What’s your interest in a cold warrior like me? '' He finally said in a tone that sounded rather dejected.

Thinking about his words and abrupt tone, you debated the nature of the thoughts in his mind. “Dwalin.. I must ask. Have you truly not.. understood my feelings towards you?” You both questioned and pleaded. 

The discouraged look upon his usual stone cold exterior continued and he averted his gaze only to hesitantly come back and look weakly at you again. Almost like you were something he shouldn't look at. 

“Aye. I have understood, lass.” He said shortly. “I'd be lyin’ if I said I hadn't.” 

“..I'd also be lyin’ if I said I haven't been thinkin’ the same way ‘bout ya’.” 

“But..” You started but trailed off. You couldn’t keep up. This meant he held some feelings about you too, right? But then, why now?

“It shouldn't be so.” He said.

You couldn't entirely understand what he meant just by watching him, but you tried. You tried to understand the underlying meaning of his words by analyzing his defensive tone and unfamiliar hesitancy.  And then it hit you. The nature of his thoughts - his doubts. You recognized them. It was something you should have considered before.

A different side of you took over. The need to dance around the topic was gone. Ever so slightly you gently leaned in closer to him and raised your hand to place it atop his own. The skin of his knuckles felt cool under the warmth of your palm.

“You know I come from a line of warriors” you said, keeping your eyes on him in an attempt to dispel what doubts he held. 

“They are strong, proud, and oftentimes more distrustful and distant than most, but it does not mean they are to be doomed to suffering, or to loneliness.” 

Dwalin kept quiet. You could see the faintest small blush begin to blossom there from beneath his beard and spread to color the middle of his cheeks as pink as if it were winter. A low grumble came out from under his breath.

Finally he met your gaze again with a softer expression. One that you had never seen before. “Yer’ a true beauty, lass. Warm and bright, and courageous. But I cannot offer ye’ what others can. All that ya’ rightly deserve. I don’t want ya’ to waste yer’ time on a soldier.” He confessed.

“I wouldn’t be.” You said. A growing frown on your face deepened and your hand tightened over his. “I- I like you, Dwalin. I like you for who you are.” 

Gently, you reached out to set your left hand open on his upper chest atop the spot his heart must be. “No matter what may happen. Or what adversities we may be faced with.” Now it was your turn to become red. Your ears felt hot and your face flamed like it never had before. 

Dwalin’s shoulders eased at your words and he let his hand relax under yours before shifting to hold your hand delicately between his own. He brushed his rough fingers against your smaller, smoother ones.

“I should apologize. I tried to keep some distance from ya’ because I've - I’ve been drawn to ya’ from the start. It rattled me when I first saw ya’ at Bilbo’s and this.. feelin’ for ya’ grew day by day.” 

You couldn't help but grin and he did the same. “Let me be by your side from now. Let me protect ya.”

“There’s no one better who can.” You said. 

He reached to brush back a loose piece of hair from beside your ear. “And if ya’ wouldn’t mind given’ me just a bit of time, I’d like to present ya’ with somethin’ to court ya’.” 

You were screaming with joy on the inside but desperately tried to hold as much grace as you could. “I’d like that very much.” 

Basking in this feeling, you wanted nothing more than to kiss him right then and there and fall into everything that he was, but instead you glanced down to your hand still nestled between his. Some traditions were worth keeping in place and besides, you knew you would be able to very very soon. 

“Now” he said, trying to get back to his usual stoic and confident self. “What do ya’ say we head back to camp? There’s an open spot next to me just for you, my beauty.” He winked at you and then stood up and extended a hand out, which you took without hesitation.

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