Work Text:
Why no one talks about the peaceful evening when you ride a jeepney back to your home staring at the abyss, contemplating all the decisions and reminiscing about the whole event that happened throughout your day.
Aiah is listening to music with her earphones still closing her eyes feeling the tranquility of breeze winds passing by. A tiring day from university truly humbled Aiah.
Her body nearly collapsed from all the events and academics that needed to keep up in a short span of time. She just wanted to graduate with flying colors. I mean don't get her wrong she is grateful and it's her choice to join orgs but still she hasn't realized the weight of responsibilities that awaits her.
She's exhausted, the only thing that's made her heart lighter is because today is Friday means weekend and she does not have to go to university for whatever reason. I need to rest. I need to sleep the whole week.
She opened her eyes and slowly scanned every passenger inside the jeepney, different faces having their own different stories. A different battle we kept inside our minds, we buried it by masking with layers of pretentious happiness on loops. Life is unpredictable.
Sigurado ako biktima din ang iba dito ng malupit na buhay katulad niya. Ang layo pa ni Aiah sa paroroonan niya kasing layo at lalim din ng mga bagay na pumapasok sa utak niya.
One figure caught Aiah's attention, the girl was peacefully sleeping. She looks so tired based on how she didn't even budge everytime the jeep braked. Cute. She smiled at the thought. If someone sees her right now they would probably think that she is creepy by the way she was staring at the girl opposite her. She’s shoving the thought by shaking her head right now. Great ngayon iisipin naman nilang baliw ako.
The girl in front of her suddenly woke up and slowly looked at her. The sudden panic is evident to Aiah as she instantly looks away and diverges her eyes somewhere. In her peripheral vision she saw the girl suppressing a laugh. Aiah felt her cheeks heat up at the thought of the girl chuckling at her. My gosh.
“Para po.”
Aiah hurried walking outside the jeep, she still felt her cheeks turning red and her heart still skipped a beat. She keeps walking and walking and wal—
“Aiah!!” she stops mid-walking. No. No. No. Please.
“Aiah!!!”
“Oh ikaw pala Colet, ginagawa mo dito haha” Aiah with her awkward laugh. She still felt her heart racing from the walks she did earlier.
“Hahaha anong ginagawa ka d’yan baka nakakalimutan mo magka subdivision tayo.” Colet said while being amused by the girl.
“Tara sabay na tayo. Kamusta ka na pala? Tagal na nating di nagkita ah.” Colet opened a topic while they were walking, she can’t deny that she misses Aiah and it’s been 6 months since the last time she saw the girl. They were busy with their own personal life.
“Ayos lang, ganun pa din. Laging busy sa acads. Wala namang bago hahaha.”
“Aiah, tara kain naman tayo dun sa ramenan ni Aling Pasing, miss ko na dun eh. Libre ko na.” Colet suddenly said with her pouty lips and sparkly eyes. How could she decline the offer in front of her when the girl used her weakness against her. Hays.
“Oh Aiah at Colet ngayon ko na lang kayo nakita ah. Nakakatampo na dati naman araw araw kayo nandito.”
“Aling Pasing pasensya na po busy lang talaga kami ni Aiah, alam mo na po graduating na kaya talagang kayod lang nang kayod.”
“Osya sige umupo na kayo at ipaghahain ko na kayo.”
Colet and Aiah settled at the table, while Aling Pasing preparing their food, they talk nonstop while recalling their story, it’s feels nostalgic. They misses this talkative side of them whenever they are near each other, they misses when they're still free to go out without the worries all about. Both of them were loud and continuously laughing at each other's stories. They remain in the conversation while eating and still fondly remembering all the flashbacks they shared.
“Aiah miss na kita.” Colet suddenly blurted out.
“Col–”
“I know i know Aiah it’s been a months na miss na miss na kita, hindi mo ba ako namimiss?”
“Alam mo Colet, kumain ka na lang dyan kung ano ano na lang naiisip mo.” Aiah said, trying to dodge Colet's question.
“Grabe siya oh, kala mo di ko alam na tinitignan mo ko sa jeep kanina. Kala mo ha. Miss mo lang ako eh. Miss mo lang ka-cutetan ko favorite sight mo kaya pag tulog ako hahahahaha. Naalala mo yung palagi tayong nagsasabay umuwi tapos papatulugin mo ko sa balikat mo kasi alam mo pagod ako”
Aiah smiled at what Colet said, it’s true the girl is a sleepyhead. Colet tends to sleep in a jeep every time on their way home, actually Colet can sleep anytime anywhere.
“Kasi baka sa ibang tao ka pa sumandal duh, baka tuluan mo pa ng laway yung ibang pasahero.” Both of them laugh, it’s scary how easily they could pull off these conversations after what happened. They bid their goodbye to Aling Pasing and promise they will visit more often. They were walking home. Colet and Aiah live on a different street.
“Aiahkins, galit ka ba sakin?”
“Bakit naman ako magagalit sayo? wala kang ginawang masama. I don’t blame you.”
“Kasi I didn't return any messages or your call for weeks?”
“Oo, alam mo nagtampo ako ng sobra sayo nun Colet. I thought we had a mutual understanding eh. Nasaktan ako. I question my worth. Iniiisip ko deserve ko ba ng explanation or what kasi first of all wala namang tayo diba?”
Aiah suddenly confessed, she finally let that out, how many months she bottled up her emotions that really affects her right now. I thought i’m okay.
“Aiah, I'm really sorry. Hindi ko din alam. Naduwag ako. Natakot ako kasi bestfriend kita and suddenly we were different. Natakot ako na baka mawala ka sakin if we continue doing this pero hindi ko alam na nasasaktan na pala kita at tuluyan ka nang bumibitaw sakin."
Colet was crying, they stopped at the waiting shed, only the both of them in the dim light talking.
“Aiah, can you give me a chance to prove myself to you. I know i hurt you so bad but can you please let me make up with you Aiahkins. Wag mo ko iwasan.”
Colet desperately said it while holding Aiah’s hand trying to plead her.
“Colet hindi ako lumayo sayo, ikaw ang nag layo ng sarili mo sa akin. I let you have your own space kasi yun ang kailangan mo. Colet I leave a blank page on my story in case you want to go back, pero ngayon hindi ko na alam. Yung 6 months na yun I’ve already learned my lesson, part of me still longing for your presence pero nagiging okay na ko, tapos ngayon makikita kita with your stupid face!”
Colet was sobbing right now. She was crying so hard the thought of Aiah completely forgetting about her, damaged her so much.
Unknown to Aiah, Colet never stops thinking about the girl in front of her. She was confused as heck when she found out that she’s slowly developing feelings for her bestfriends. Colet was still moving on at that time with her 2 years ex- boyfriend. Aiah was always there, comforting and always making her way to lift up Colet’s sorrow until one day she woke up being jealous with Aiah’s classmate. Both of them know they have their understanding. I mean you wouldn’t kiss your best friend for fun lang naman right? Holding hands? The fondness touch? The random i love you’s?
“Colet, hindi rin naman kita masisi. I felt like I took advantage of your vulnerability that time, you were so hurt and I took my chance. Hindi kita pinigilan umalis kasi alam ko mali ko din. Hindi ko magawang magalit sa paglayo mo kasi kasalanan ko din. Minahal kita.”
“Aiah, you know that’s not true, I’m willingly gave in myself. I know damn thing na you didn't take advantage of it kasi ginusto ko din. Hindi ko pinigilan kasi ginusto ko din ‘to Aiah. Please baka pwedeng maibalik pa, gagawin ko lahat.”
Both of them are just a bunch of crying like a baby, things may not end up in the best possible way that they could wish for but it does not mean that it's something that we hold on for too long, it's important that we also try to find new ways to work things out.
“Colet let’s remain friends until we sort things out, there is still so much on our plate and we take things slow, alright?”
Aiah reassures Colet, thinking about rekindling what they left terrified her, she suffered a lot and she wouldn’t let things ruin what wall she put up so easily, it still scares her how easily she gave in to this girl. That Colet has still affect on her.
Both of them gathered themselves and continued to walk home remaining silent, it's like they sensing each other out or balancing the mood.
“Aiah dito na bahay niyo, thank you nga pala today.”
Colet said, although she doesn't know if both of them are on the same page but still would want to take a risk and try to win Aiah back.
“Wala yun. Ako nga dapat magpasalamat kasi hinatid mo ko, nilibre mo pa ko.” Aiah said while smiling.
“Sige una na ko ha, chat mo ko Aiah, if okay lang”
Colet is unsure about this whole thing. She is still trying to figure out what they should do next or what's the real score.
They didn't actually talk about the next step because after Aiah said that they should take things slow they remain silent but keep holding hands, the familiar kisses that Colet planted on Aiah's head while the girl stuck on Colet's neck. Ito na naman kami. Lots of times they couldn't keep their hands, especially when they were near each other. It feels natural.
Colet bid her goodbye and ready to walk—
“Colet, You still look cute when sleeping. pero wag masyadong malalim ang tulog baka lumagpas ka. sige ka, baka di ka na makabalik papunta sakin.”