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Heeseung is going to die. He's going to die before he reaches the age of twenty-three and he thinks it's a sad cruel reality. Heeseung is going to die, cold, empty, and soulless with nothing but heartache and tears.
“Heeseung come eat your fucking lunch,” Jake's voice carries a bit harsher than intended resulting in a smack from his boyfriend. He turns to Jay with a look of bewilderment only receiving a glare.
“Don't speak to him like that. He's hurting.” Jay hisses. He peaks over Jake's shoulder to eye his best friend who continues to sulk on their couch. Jay's heart ached for Heesueng. The older had rooted himself on the sofa, a giant blanket covering his lean form. He was surrounded by throw pillows and used tissues that Jake would throw a fit about but Jay will worry about it later.
“I didn't say he could stay here you did and now he's stinking up the place! And I can hear his damn stomach from here. It's like the idiot is really trying to die!” Jaka hisses. Don't get him wrong he cares for Heeseung as well but his soulmate was tending to another man while he was right there! Jake was easily Jay starved. Sue him.
So to clarify Heeseung isn't really dying but in his defense, he feels like he is. It all started three days ago when his boyfriend of two months, three days and twenty-three hours, and three minutes (in counting) didn’t say 'I love you’ back (and yes Heeseung counted the hours and minutes). Heeseung retreated to the only safe place available which happened to belong to his best friend Park Jongseong.
The only issue here is Jake hates Heeseung. Hate is possibly inaccurate. Jake is easily jealous when it comes to Jay and his friends because they are all so touchy. Even Sunghoon and Jake loves Sunghoon in the most platonic form of the word!
“It's not my fault, ok I didn't break him! It's all his fault. I swear when I get my hands on-” Jay is cut off by the sound of the doorbell. “Did you invite someone?”
Jake shakes his head. The couple peer down the hall to the door curiously as to who could be at their door. Within seconds they have a decent idea when Heeseung bolts up as if he'd come back from the dead, his gaze locked onto the door.
“Speak of the devil,” Jay grumbles as he trudges for the door.
“Be nice!” Jake calls with a pleased giggle.
Jay presses against the door to peek through the peephole. Sure enough Heeseung’s soulmate was on the other side. The younger man didn't look like his usual put-together self. His face was usually unblemished, a well-earned reward from his detailed skin routine. However, it was now inflamed and splotched red with pimples. His usually neat hair was a frizzled mess on his head as if he'd run his hand through it one too many times.
“Do you want to talk to him?” Jay asks Heeseung when Sunoo rings the bell a second time. He won't do anything without his friend's permission. Heeseung gnaws on his bottom lip. Does he want to talk to him or was the overwhelming feeling in his chest a product of their soulmate bond urging them together?
Softly Heeseung shakes his head. “Not yet. I….I can't face him,” Heeseung bows his head in shame. It's such a pitiful sight to behold and it irks Jay. How dare Sunoo do this to him?
“I'll deal with him,” Jay says, a determined glint in his eye. He pulls the door open to step outside closing it behind him.
“Hello, Sunoo.”
“I know he's here hyung. I need to speak to him.”
Jay can admire Sunoo’s efforts to be firm however Jay is stubborn, more so than a mule Jake likes to say. He simply crosses his arms over his chest, his expression empty, almost bored. It breaks Sunoo's already little resolve in seconds.
“Please Jay hyung. I want to clear everything up!”
“If it was that important to you why didn't you do it three days ago?”
“I wanted to, I did but Hyung didn't answer his phone so I figured he needed some time. Honestly, I did too. When he ran away I felt so hurt and rejected,” Sunoo's eyes glaze over at the memory.
“When he ignored my calls and messages I figured he needed more time but Jay hyung I'm going crazy! I miss him so much it hurts.” Sunoo grabs at his shirt over his heart as if he were physically wounded. There was an ache there that could only be soothed by one thing or rather one person. The person Sunoo was most desperate to see.
“Well, Sunoo what did you think would happen? He told you he loved you and you didn't say anything back.” Sunoo has become a dear friend to him but Jay is loyal. Heeseung is like a brother to him and despite caring for both he can't help but be disappointed in Sunoo.
“I was in shock when he said it! You know how Heeseung is. He gets so shy so I was ecstatic that he said it first but then Heeseung hyung ran before I could say anything back.”
“He…” Jay pinches the bridge of his nose. Of course, he did. Jay should have asked more questions but he couldn't think straight. What was he supposed to ask when Heeseung stormed into his apartment a blubbering mess sobbing “Sunoo doesn't love me!” over and over into his shoulder.
“Can I see him please? I swear if he wants me to go I will but…I just want to say sorry.” Sunoo's eyes hold the same melancholy look as Heeseung's . Like two sad baby animals left in the rain. They were helpless together. Truly soulmates.
Jay sighs. He knows Heeseung said he wasn't ready to see him but the older man clearly needed the push, especially after causing a misunderstanding.
“Come inside.” Jay pushes the door open letting Sunoo trail behind him. He keeps quiet like a well-behaved child worried Jay would kick him out if he made the wrong move.
“Heeseung…someone is here to see… you, ” Jay says…to a lump. Heeseung must have felt the pull through his bond because he already pulled the blanket up over his head. Why he believed that to be a good hiding spot Jay won't know.
‘Idiots. I'm surrounded by idiots.’
Instead of doing anything to help, he pats Sunoo on the shoulder before returning to Jake in the kitchen.
Left alone Sunoo feels his palm become clammy. There was a tug on his bond with Heeseung pulling him in like a magnet. His feet move of their own accord, one in front of the other until he's kneeling before the couch.
“Heeseung hyung…” Sunoo whispers tentatively. He calls the older again and when he doesn’t receive an answer he changes tactics. “Heedeungie…” Heeseung always got shy protesting behind his hands whenever Sunoo called him the silly nickname. Sunoo feels a part of him break further when Heeseung remains unresponsive.
“Please hyung I just…just wanna see your face? Please…Bambi? My pretty little fawn. Please look at me.” Sunoo thinks he might break. He’s going to break into a million, no, maybe a zillion pieces right here on Jay’s floor if his soulmate continues to ignore him.
‘This is it. He doesn’t love me’ Sunoo begins to think the worst when Heeseung finally pulls back the blanket. It’s only enough to uncover his bedhead and eyes that are just as glossy as Sunoos. Heeseung isn’t a very strong man. Hearing how small and broken Sunoo’s voice sounded made him feel a thousand times worse. He never wanted to hurt Sunoo, he’d rather get swatted by his mother until he was black and blue than to ever hurt Sunoo.
Sunoo’s lips waver as he forces a smile. Despite being an obvious mess Sunoo thought Heeseung was just as beautiful. His beautiful mess. He shuffles closer, careful of each of his movements as if Heeseung were really a fawn he was worried about scaring off.
“Hi,” Sunoo’s voice betrays him as it cracks with the singular word. Heeseung blinks furiously hoping to will his tears away however they spill down his cheeks.
“I missed you,” Sunoo says next. “...missed you so much hyung.”
Heeseung shuffles under the blankets. He tells Sunoo he missed him, his words muffled by the blanket. The sudden warmth that floods Sunoo’s chest allows him to understand nonetheless.
“D-did…did I do something wrong? I-is that why you don’t love me?” Heeseung hadn’t meant to say it but the words had plagued his mind for the last three days. He needed to know what he did wrong, and where he went wrong to make him so unlovable to Sunoo. Heeseung wanted the younger's approval, and unconditional love so badly that it hurt. Heeseung believes he'll do anything to get it.
“I-is it because I can only cook ramyeon? O- Or that I play my games too loudly? Maybe it was when I didn’t go out with you and your friends. I-I’ll work harder to connect with them a-and I’ll cook more! M-maybe you don’t like that I’m so tall I’m sorry. I-I wish I could be smaller. Is that why?” Heeseung doesn’t realize he’d crawled out of the safety of his blanket lump. The heavy fabric now sat in his lap as he began to blubber and cry, the ache in his chest increasing.
“Hyung,” Sunoo squishes Heeseung’s face between his palms. It’s effective in making Heeseung stop his useless rant while also making him look adorable. His adorable hyung.
“How many times do I have to tell you hmm? You’re perfect to me just the way you are. There’s not one thing I would change about you,” Sunoo says. Sincerity drips from every word wrapping around Heeseung like a blanket. Sunoo’s words are warm and comforting, the proper reassurance he was used to hearing from Sunoo.
Whenever his self-doubts clouded his mind Sunoo would hold him and remind him of all the things he loved about him. Heeseung wasn’t the best cook but it gave Sunoo motivation to try out new dishes. He was excited about his games and then Sunoo became excited too, gaming becoming a shared hobby. They spent many dates in gaming cafes or in the safety of their home, mobile games, consoles, or PCs occupying an entire day. Sunoo was an extrovert and liked spending time out with his friends and with his cute introverted boyfriend he never minded if Heeseung opted to stay at home. He was comfortable, most likely wearing one of their matching pj sets gaming, or taking a nap.
When Heeseung did go out with him Sunoo absolutely loved how shy he became, always clinging to him despite being the bigger one. And when Heeseung felt self-conscious of his height Sunoo reminded him that it didn’t matter because he could still be the little spoon and sit with Sunoo until the world melted away leaving the two of them behind.
“Then why didn’t you say it back?” Heeseung whimpers. Sunoo gives Heeseung’s face a rest as his hands go up to pat down the elder's messy bed head .
“You ran away before I could goof. Heeseung, when you said you loved me it was the best moment of my entire life.” truthfully Sunoo had an entire speech planned. He was used to taking the first steps in their relationship. He didn’t mind. He knew Heeseung cared for him even if he found it difficult to put his feelings into words. Sunoo was ready to declare his love for the elder first but the moment those words left Heeseung’s mouth Sunoo’s mind went blank. The words echoed in his brain allowing his heart to burst with nothing but unconditional love. By the time he came back to his senses his soulmate was already pulling away from him, both confusing Sunoo and breaking his heart.
“I love you more than anything in this world Lee Heeseung. I’m sorry I didn’t say it back sooner and that I hurt you. Everything was so perfect I got lost in the moment.”
“Oh,” Heeseung squeaks. His cheeks blush a deep shade of pink but he doesn’t look away from Sunoo’s intense gaze. Heeseung can see it now. Sunoo’s pupils were basically turning into hearts. Sunoo loved him like he loved Sunoo.
“Can you say it again for me?” Sunoo requests softly. Heeseung licks over his lips. He can feel his heart pick up in his chest, thudding painfully against his ribcage. It’s scary saying ‘I love you’ to Sunoo again after the last time but Heeseung wants to do it.
Despite hearing Sunoo say it once the little voice in the back of Heeseung's mind nags him.
'Say you love me. Please say you love me.'
Anxiety creeps into Heeseung's gut. It's uncomfortably warm like a flame licking up to his spine. Heeseung considers giving up, allowing the flame to be doused out with his cowardness. One look at Sunoo's hopeful eyes and his resolve crumbles like a soggy cookie.
“I-I love you,” he whispers.
“Huh? I can’t hear you” Sunoo frowns. Had Heeseung not said it? He was sure he said it loud enough for the younger to hear. He gulps, his Adam's apple bobbing once.
“I-I love you Sunoo,” he says a bit louder.
Sunoo’s frown deepens as he tilts his head. “Baby I really can’t hear you. What did you say?”
Oh. Heeseung gets it now. Sunoo was teasing him. The elder whines pressing his face against Sunoo’s neck. Sunoo chuckles fondly, wrapping his arms around Heeseung in a tight hug. Heeseung has to bite back a smile before he leans close to Sunoo’s ear.
“I LOVE YOU IDIOT!” he screams. Heeseung floats on the triumph of his revenge. It lasts for a mere moment before Sunoo squeals and loses balance. With Sunoo’s arms still securely wrapped around his waist, Heeseung gets pulled from the couch. They crash onto the floor tangled heap on the floor as giggles erupt from Sunoo’s chest. Slowly Sunoo’s laugh dies out as he admires Heeseung above him. One hand leaves the elder's waist to brush his bangs from his face.
“Noo…” Heeseung whispers. Sunoo smiles as his hand curls around Heeseung’s neck pulling him close. The kiss is soft. Sunoo tastes like toothpaste and Heeseung is sure he does not but Sunoo kisses him anyway. Maybe love really does make one crazy.
“I love you too Heedeungie,” Sunoo mumbles before placing a few kisses on the bow of Heeseung’s lip.
“Yay! You made up! Now get out,” Jake says, giving a curt clap of his hands.
“Jake,” Jay hisses.
“N-no Jake is right. I’ve taken up enough of your space. Thank you for having me,” Heeseung quickly pulls himself off Sunoo, offering his hand to help him up.
“S-sorry about…this,” Sunoo says, chuckling awkwardly.
“Yes yes. You fought, you made up. Go home,” Jake says. He grabs the pair by their wrists before not so gently tugging them to the front door. His foot taps against the floor like a disappointed father as he watches the couple put their shoes on, far too slowly for his liking.
'Can't these people hurry up?'
“Next time you fight go bother Sunghoon, Riki, and Jungwon,” Jake says. The trio of soulmates were better equipped to handle these things.
“Jeez, dude what is your deal?” Sunoo questions. His hand finds Heeseung’s with ease, their fingers intertwining.
“You two are in the honeymoon phase and Jay and I are in the baby-making phase. Believe it or not but having your depressed friend sleeping on your couch ruins the mood.”
“SIM JAEYUN!” Jay squeals with utter horror from the living room. Jake smiles cheekily, shooting the couple before him a wink.
“COMING HONEY! Don’t wait up, yeah?” Then he slams the door without sparing the two another word.
Heeseung blinks. “Did he–?” his voice trails off as lost for words.
“Poor Jay,” Sunoo chuckles. “C’mon hyung. Let’s go home.”
Home . Heeseung missed their home. He follows Sunoo easily. He just might follow Sunoo to the ends of the earth if he wanted.
When they step into their apartment Heeseung heads straight for their bedroom. He lets out a prolonged sigh when his body hits their bed. It was only three days but he missed his and Sunoo’s shared apartment. There was a wave of comfort and warmth that washed over Heeseung whenever they were home. Maybe it was the effect of him and Sunoo. That they built this little sanctuary together.
Sunoo climbs into the bed next to him, enveloping Heeseung from behind. Heeseung giggles as he presses his back to Sunoo’s chest. He’s bigger and yet he slots next to Sunoo with ease, as if he were a little frail (but beautiful and strong) thing like Sunoo says he is.
“Next time, if we fight again, come home alright? Even if we’re upset with each other we should always come home to make it right.” Sunoo murmurs against his neck. Heeseung giggles at the ticklish feeling. His hands find Sunoo's, giving them a tight squeeze.
“I will. Next time I’ll come straight to you and no one else. I’ll come home.”
“Good…I love you.”
“I love you too.”