Chapter Text
Denial.
It's no big deal.
Besides, I don't think it's real. Baka pagod lang siya. She will show up again, willing to patch things up. She always does. I just have to be patient, like I always do.
Hindi naman niya ako iiwan ng ganun-ganun lang.
***
Anger.
It’s been a month.
How could she do this to me? Leaving me hanging like this? Did she forget all the things that we promised each other?
What did she have to gain by doing this? By hurting me?
I don’t want to stop loving her. But I am so angry.
***
Bargaining.
I've been coming back to our spot over the past week.
The emotional pain has been weighing heavily on my mind that I keep on thinking of the way things were before our relationship took a turn.
So much that I messaged her, telling her that I'll be in our spot and maybe rekindle the relationship we once shared.
I’ve been sending messages, telling her how I’ll do everything, how I’ll change, just so we can have another chance. I’ll clean the dishes. I’ll gladly give in to any requests na, even if it means na I have to stop playing my comfort game. Lahat gagawin ko.
I am still right where you left me, mahal.
***
Depression.
I don’t think she’s coming back.
It’s been, what, a few weeks? Months? To be honest, I don’t even know anymore.
I’ve been sulking for quite a while now, realizing that it did happen. She really left me. I did not realize the extent of pain I have given her. Looking back, if this is what I am feeling now, paano pa siya?
Mas lalo palang masakit ‘to. Realizing na lahat ng bagay na ayaw kong mangyari sa aming dalawa, nangyari na, nasaktan ko siya.
***
Acceptance.
Tanggap ko na. Na umabot na kami sa ganitong punto. Tapos na yung relationship.
Hindi na maibabalik yung mga araw na dapat mas naging maayos akong partner. Mga araw na kung inayos ko lang, hindi na sana umabot sa ganito.
Tinanggap ko na. Pero hindi porket tinanggap ko na, hindi ko ia-acknowledge na masakit pa rin. Masakit isipin yung mga hindi na namin nagawa dahil sa akin.
***