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something to be proud of

Summary:

“I have a family. I wonder if they’re looking for me.” The tulkun whines at Lo’ak. “I know, they probably are but… I don’t know. I bring trouble everywhere I go. My brother calls me skxawng. Like all the time… and he’s right. Who would fall for a stupid trick like that?"

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After being stranded in the ocean by Aonung and his friends then befriending a tulkun, Lo'ak is kidnapped by the sky people. Through torture and brainwashing, Lo'ak is turned into something new. Who is this? A monster or a broken soul?

Notes:

hi!!! i haven't written fanfic in a while but im super excited to upload this one!

I also want to make it clear, i don't think that jake is a bad parent and makes lo'ak actually feel like this, i just want to explore the idea of lo'ak feeling insecure and feeling like he doesn't meet jake's expectations and can't compare to neteyam

hope you enjoy!

Chapter Text

Lo’ak didn’t want to apologize to Ao’nung. He insulted his sister, calling her a freak, how could he not have punched him? He deserved it. But, the Metkayina have opened their home to him and his family, and Ao’nung is the Chief’s son and his father had given him pretty much one rule: to be on their best behavior. His father was already tough on him, he didn’t need to be stubborn about this.

Ao’nung and his friends were gathered together as Lo’ak rides up on his ilu. They snicker, on asking, “What’s tree boy doing here?” Lo’ak just glances at the boy, then turning his attention to Ao’nung.

“I’m sorry I hit you,” he apologizes, but smirks a little, “so many times.” Ao’nung looks at him, glancing over at the two other boys, then back at Lo’ak. He smiles.

“Ah,” he says, extending an arm to Lo’ak. “We should be friends.” Lo’ak hesitantly grasps the other boy’s forearm as Ao’nung smiles at him. “Come hunting with us. Outside the reef. It’s where the men hunt.” Lo’ak shakes his head.

“No way. I’m not allowed,” Lo’ak says with a slight shake of his head. Ao’nung scoffs with a smile, turning towards the two other Metakyina boys.

“I must be asking the wrong brother,” he loudly declares, almost amused. Lo’ak frowns, throwing caution to the wind.

“Let’s do it,” he says with a scowl. Ao’nung smirks at Lo’ak.

“Ah!” he exclaims, handing Lo’ak his crossbow. The Metakyina boys start to yip as they guide their ilus into the water, setting off on their hunt, and Lo’ak follows. They ride into the ocean, the rougher waters allowing them to jump around with their ilus, flying through the air then diving back into the ocean water. Lo’ak whoops and exclaims as he swims. Sure, he’s had fun on his ikran in the forest with his siblings, but there’s something about having fun with people that aren’t his siblings. Not that he doesn’t like hanging out with his siblings, he does, but this just feels so different. He’s not just viewed as a trouble maker or compared to Neteyam or Kiri, he’s viewed as something completely different. He’s viewed as himself, someone who’s wanted there, not just there because he’s family. 

When they slow down and resurface, they’re in the water surrounding three monumental rocks. Lo’ak breathes heavily, out of breath from swimming and holding his breath under water.

“That was insane, cuz!” he exclaims excitedly. The Metakyina boys laugh and Ao’nung motions forward with his head.

“This way. I know a good spot,” he says, glancing over at Roxto. The boys dive back in with their ilus, Lo’ak following. They separate from their ilus, swimming deeper into the ocean. They stop by a plant and Ao’nung signs, “Call the fish.” He grunts, demonstrating to Lo’ak how to do so, and Lo’ak swims forward with his crossbow. 

Grunting repeatedly, he tries to call the fish with his weapon held in front of himself. He waits for a minute, then shoots a large fish causing the others to swim away. He smirks proudly, looking behind him. Ao’nung and his friends are nowhere to be seen. Lo’ak’s smile fades and his face drops as he looks around. He swims up to his ilu and mounts the creature. He surveys the surface of the ocean.

“Hey, guys!” he shouts, desperately trying to find the other boys. “Hey!” His head whips around in every direction. “Ao’nung!” He turns again. “Come on, this isn’t funny!” He spins around and around, looking for the boys but he doesn’t see anyone. Did they leave him? No, they wouldn’t. They’re his friends, they wouldn’t do that.

Would they?

They were being pretty mean to Kiri. Would they be mean to him? He should’ve known. If they called Kiri a freak, why wouldn’t they think the same of him? Five fingers, he’s of “demon blood.” Before he can dwell on that any further, an akula launches him and his ilu into the air. Lo’ak screams as he descends into the water. The akula goes after his ilu, nipping it as the animal swims off with the predator following it. Lo’ak watches the two animals swim away, attempting to gather his bearings, but the akula slows as the ilu frees. 

The predator’s head swivels to face Lo’ak. It’s attention is now turned to him, and it’s angry. It swims quickly towards Lo’ak and he panics, swimming away. He weaves through a sliver in a plant structure and the akula’s mouth slams against it. Cornered, Lo’ak quickly aims his crossbow and shoots an arrow into the predator’s mouth. The akula backs off for a second, then breaks the crossbow with ease, biting it into pieces. It continues to bite at Lo’ak, reaching for him as he flattens himself against the plant structure. Lo’ak turns, frantically looking for an escape, and finally finds a sliver through the plant structure. He swims through as the akula breaks the plant structure behind him. He weaves through the branches of the plant, narrowly escaping the jaw of the akula that continues to break through the plant behind him. 

Lo’ak turns, unable to find the akula until it swims over the plant it was trying to break through. He fearfully swims deeper into the ocean, through the plants as he tries to find small spaces where the akula can’t follow. Nonetheless, the akula manages to break through the plants as it hunts Lo’ak.

Grabbing the plants as he swims, he finds a space in the plant. He looks around frantically as he tries to locate the akula. The creature slams through the plants beside Lo’ak which makes him jump. He flees yet again, quickly swimming through the plants with the akula right on his tail. The animal twists itself through the path of broken plant it’s created. Lo’ak swims through an opening in the plants where he corners himself yet again but the akula is unable to pierce through the small opening the boy swam through. It tries but ultimately bails, leaving Lo’ak to look for where the animal will attack next. 

He frantically scans the area, twisting his head around quickly when he can’t locate the animal. It couldn’t have given up, right? It has to be swimming around somewhere, right? Lo’ak’s thoughts are cut short when he feels his chest start to spasm. He’s running out of air. His arms start to flail as he tries to look for a way to the surface, heart beating rapidly. His face pinches as he tries to figure out what to do. He has to get up to the surface but the akula could be anywhere and he’s swam so deep. He tries to calm his chest, closing his eyes for a moment to focus on his breath, but he can’t breathe. He needs air. 

He shoots himself to the surface, pushing through the plant branches as quickly as he can and frees himself into the clear water, but he freezes when he sees the akula appear from behind the plant. The predator quickly swims towards the boy. Lo’ak pulls his knife, ready to fight the animal, but before it can get to him, a larger sea creature catches the animal and pushes it away from Lo’ak and into the plant. It presses the akula into the structure with its jaw.

Lo’ak, gathering himself after the force of water disoriented him, takes this as his chance to swim to the surface. But, when he tries to swim up, he finds the tail of the animal that saved him blocking him from the ocean's surface as it swishes back and forth. Every time he tries to dodge it, the tail moves where he needs to go. His body lets out as it’s been too long since he;s had fresh air in his lungs. He starts to sink. His grip loosens, his knife falling from his hand. His chest continues to spasm. His eyes start to slip close. He hopes his family finds him, or at least finds his body. They can give him a proper burial ritual and send him back to Eywa. Hopefully his dad isn’t too mad at him for dying after doing something he wasn’t supposed to. What a disappointment he is. He watches as the ocean surface gets further from him until he loses consciousness. 

 

— — —

 

Before Lo’ak’s eyes can even open, his chest begins to spasm and he starts to cough violently. He peels his eyes open and coughs up water onto whatever surface he’s lying on. He can feel the air entering his lungs as the water leaves and after a good few coughs, he gasps in a deep breath. He feels the ocean’s water push and pull from the surface he’s lying on.

Once he takes a few breaths, he lifts himself up and looks around. Birds chirp as they fly around the three rocks he’s seen before. He climbs further onto the surface, starting to wonder how he’s alive. He twists himself around as he looks at his surroundings. When he straightens himself, a blast of water comes out of the surface he’s on, making him jump.

“Holy shit,” he says fearfully under his breath. He whips his head around, focusing more on the surface before he sees two large reddish, horn-like things sticking out of the water. He then realizes he's not on a surface. He’s on an animal. With a giant gray body and large gray and white fins, the animal is calmly floating. Lo’ak crawls underwater curiously, wanting to show himself to the animal. He swims to the animal’s eye, grabbing one of the large fins to stabilize himself in the water. The animal clicks at him. Lo’ak resurfaces and the animal raises itself to peek its eyes and fins out of the water.

“You’re a tulkun,” Lo’ak says. The animal groans in response. “You saved my life. Thank you.” He says “thank you” again as he signs it as well. The tulkun grumbles and squeals in response as it looks at Lo’ak. The boy chuckles and smiles at the tulkun. “Buddy, I have no idea what you just said.” The tulkun looks at its fin and Lo’ak follows its gaze, seeing the metal harpoon in the animal’s fin. “They hurt you, didn’t they?” The tulkun whines in confirmation. Lo’ak frowns. How could someone hurt such a docile animal? Then it clicked: the sky people. Who else would hurt such a kind animal? 

“I’ll try to pull it out,” Lo’ak tells the tulkun. “Just trust me, ok?” He pulls at the metal and it rises out of the tulkun’s fin until something stops it. He goes underwater to find that there’s something trapping the metal device into the tulkin’s fin. He twists the bottom of the device and it detaches after a couple of twists. Lo’ak swims to the topside of the tulkun’s fin and pulls the device out, letting it sink to the ocean floor.

“Friends?” Lo’ak says and signs as he seats himself back on the tulkun’s fin. The animal squeaks and bellows, and Lo’ak chuckles, saying, “That’s right, we’re friends. Friends!”

The tulkun drops Lo’ak in the water, which surprises and annoys him for a moment until the animal spins around playfully. Lo’ak smiles.

 

— — —

 

As Lo’ak lies on the tulkun’s back, he watches the sunset. They’re still at the three rocks but going home soon. He wonders if Ao’nung has said anything by now. Probably not. He hopes people notice he’s missing, but would they care? He wonders that sometimes. It’s not often, but trouble seems to follow him wherever he goes. Would his family be better without him? No, they love him. They would miss him, right? Yeah, they would. They wouldn’t be mad at him for disappearing, they’d be sad. They’d be sad and they’d miss him.

He stares at the sunset as the tulkun beneath him floats still. It whines underneath him, not used to Lo’ak being so quiet.

“Sorry, I’m just thinking,” Lo’ak says. He pauses for a moment. “Do you have a family?” The tulkun whines and clicks. “I have a family. I wonder if they’re looking for me.” The tulkun whines at Lo’ak. “I know, they probably are but… I don’t know. I bring trouble everywhere I go. My brother calls me skxawng. Like all the time… and he’s right. Who would fall for a stupid trick like that? Sometimes I wish I was more like him… He’s not troublesome like I am. He’s… something to be proud of.” Lo’ak stares off into the sky. Neteyam’s right, he is a skxawng. A troublesome child, a no good teenager, something his dad has a right to be upset at. As the sky gets darker, the bioluminescent dots on both Lo’ak and the tulkun start to glow. Lo’ak watches as the stars start to glow in the sky.

“Do you like looking at the stars?” Lo’ak asks. The tulkun groans and clicks. “My dad came from a star.” He scans the sky then points a finger up to a star. “That one, right there. My mom always tells us about when they met. He…” Lo’ak trails off as he starts to hear a quiet humming. He sits up, looking around as the tulkun under him groans and clicks at the disturbance. Lo’ak swings his head around more as the humming gets louder, not knowing where it's coming from until he looks in the sky. A large vehicle is flying in the sky. Lo’ak’s stomach drops and his eyes widen. The sky people.

Lo’ak slips into the water and swims to the tulkun’s eye.

“We have to hide,” he tells the animal. “Swim slowly. We can’t alert them, they’re dangerous.” The tulkun groans. “They tried to take me and my sisters. They took our friend Spider and he’s with them right now. We’re too close.” Lo’ak watches as the ship lands on the rocky shores of the three rocks. The door to the back of the ship opens and out ducks a couple avatars. With how close they are, Lo’ak can see that they’re the ones that attacked in the forest. “We need to go.” The tulkun starts to click in a panic and frighteningly swims underwater but as he dives beneath the surface, his tail flips up, causing water to splash and spray. 

Without warning of the tulkun’s movements, Lo’ak is dumped into the water by the tulkun. Unprepared to be underwater, he swims up to the surface to catch his breath but as he peeks his head above the water, he can see that the avatars are alerted by the sound of the splashing water. They’ve spotted Lo’ak, his bioluminescent skin giving him away. In a panic, Lo’ak tries to swim away, but the avatars start to fire their guns at him. 

Before he can get a good pace underwater, something pierces his leg and pain shoots up the limb. Lo’ak doesn’t give in to the pain and tries to swim with the injured limb but he feels something else pierce his thigh in the same leg and another pierce in his forearm. Lo’ak can barely swim and the pain makes him try to gasp in a large breath. Even though he tries to keep going, he feels a familiar spasming in his chest, his body telling him he needs air. He desperately tries to keep swimming but he can no longer hold his breath, so he swims to the surface. He gasps in a breath of air. He can hear the loud humming of the ship getting closer. His time to get away is running out and his tulkun friend is nowhere to be seen.

“Help!” he yells, trying to call the tulkun back. “Help me!” He tries to keep himself above the surface with his one uninjured arm, trying to swim from the ship. He screams for his tulkun friend, hoping he’ll come back for him. The ship gains on Lo’ak quickly and hovers above him. It blows strong winds at him as he tries to swim away. He’s losing strength, his limbs searing in pain from his wounds and spilling blood into the ocean. He hears voices above him. He hears a door of the ship open and he looks up to see an avatar lowering himself by rope.

“Help!” Lo’ak yells, hoping the tulkun hears him. He sinks underwater, making himself go as low as possible to avoid the avatar that is trying to catch him. He clicks, trying to attract his tulkun friend. He feels himself getting tired. He’s losing too much blood but he can’t give up. He’d rather die here than get captured by the sky people. He hears a muffled splash of water and he looks up to see an avatar swimming closer to him. He tries to get further down into the water, forcing himself to move quicker than his tired body wants to. 

Suddenly, he hears an almost angry groan. He looks over to see his tulkun friend swimming furiously at the avatar. The avatar swims quickly towards Lo’ak before the tulkun can get to them. Before Lo’ak can get away, the avatar grabs his arm. The tulkun runs his nose into them and drags them above the water. Lo’ak can feel his consciousness slipping as his injured limbs are jostled around. The tulkun flings them into the air when they break the surface of the water. Guns start to fire at the animal but he’s unaffected. The avatar is screaming but Lo’ak takes the opportunity to bite his hand. The avatar lets go, retracting his hand in pain. 

They splash back into the water and the tulkun quickly swims over to Lo’ak. The boy reaches out to the tulkun but a hand grabs his arm yet again, proving that somehow, the tulkun is too slow. Lo’ak tries to fight the grip but he’s too weak. Lo’ak is barely holding on to his consciousness but he can’t pass out. His friend will get him back to his family. 

They reach the surface and the avatar is yelling something at the ship. Lo’ak watches a rope fall down from the ship. He turns back to see the tulkun swimming quickly towards. The animal opens his mouth and tries to pull Lo’ak to safety, and as Lo’ak takes a deep breath to prepare himself to be plunged back underwater, he feels himself being lifted from the water. He looks back to see the avatar smirking, gripping the rope tightly. He turns back to his friend who’s whining and groaning.

“Go! Find my family! Tell them!” Lo’ak shouts to the tulkun. “Tsireya will listen! Please!” The tulkun groans loudly as Lo’ak is thrown onto the floor of the ship. Lo’ak’s body finally gives out and he loses his consciousness listening to his friend screech for him.