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Rule no. 68: Team-building activities are mandatory for ALL Avengers. Absolutely no acceptions.
“I hear you, really, it’s just that—”
“He has a history test that he should be studying for! And he’s grounded!”
“May, I sympathize, really, I do. And Steve and Bucky can help him study, and—”
“Bruce, I know you’re trying to placate me. But really, I’d rather just yell at Tony right now, okay?” May asked.
“I can understand that, probably more than you know,” Bruce acquiesced, and they heard an indignant squawk come from across the room.
Both May and Bruce turned to glance at Tony, who quickly made to appear as if he’d been looking elsewhere all along.
“He knows, that we know that—?” May started to ask.
“Yeah,” Bruce confirmed, “Yeah, he knows.” Bruce turned back to May Parker and started, “Listen,”
May turned back around as well, to pay attention—Bruce was one of the few she liked— and nodded for him to go on. “When you get done scolding Tony, which I plan to happily spectate, it’s Widow you have to talk to. She’s the one that made the rule,” He explained to her.
“All these stupid rules, I can’t keep them straight! It’s not as if I live at the tower with you all and can just walk down the hallway to look at the post-it wall.” May said.
Bruce shrugged, he agreed that she wasn’t always the most informed, but then, he lived in the tower and still sometimes didn’t hear about a rule until after he’d broken it. He was saved from having to defend the team’s poor communication with Spider-Boy’s—as Clint called him—legal guardian when Natasha, Steve, and Bucky arrived.
“Honey, we’re home,” Natasha said to the room as they crossed the doorway, Steve carrying a large paper bag in each arm.
“Whatcha got there?” Sam asked.
“Uhh, snacks and flowers in one bag, movies and books in the other,” Steve answered.
“Flowers? Books?” Clint asked, confused and frowning at Steve.
“The flowers,” Steve answered as he placed the bags on May’s kitchen table, “are for May.” Steve took the bouquet out of the bag and started across the room to where Bruce and May were still standing together.
“You never show up to someone else’s house empty-handed, and we’re all a bit of a thorn in her side tonight, so they’re also sort of apology flowers,” Steve explained.
“Uhh, okay, way to make us all look like bad houseguests, man,” Clint said.
“And the books?” Sam asked.
“Well, Tony texted and mentioned that Bucky and I were supposed to be helping Peter study, so… Well, we made a stop. Reading the books is still important, even if they’re wrong and incomplete,” Steve explained.
“Now that you’re all done with your amateur interrogations, my turn!” Nat declared, receiving a collective groan from the room’s inhabitants. “Relax, it’s an easy question to answer, sure to cause lots of infighting,” she half-teased.
Nat removed the books from the bag and turned to stack them on the counter, before turning to face the room again and upending the rest of the bag's contents on the table. “Which movie are we watching tonight?” She asked, fanning their options out.
Clint, Sam, and Scott immediately dove for the table and started bickering. Bucky rolled his eyes and nudged Steve, before heading over to greet Tony.
The thought, ‘ridiculous, look at ‘em’ was written across his face for the room to see, but he only said “Hi, doll,” and gave Tony a chaste peck hello.
“Mmm, the books were a good call, thank you,” Tony quietly replied.
“Yeah well, I aim to please,” Bucky teased.
“You’ve proven very successful in that endeavour, maybe it’s my turn to aim to please tonight?” Tony teased back.
“Yeah, you wanna find a quiet spot and come please me now?”
“Ha, no. If I drag the entire team across the city and then invade May’s apartment and disappear to have sex in her bedroom, she will kill me,” Tony said. “And considering how rough you are on that arm, you’ll be out of commission in a month without me here,” he joked poking Bucky in the side.
“Okay, okay. That’s a good point I suppose,” Bucky answered. Tony smiled and nodded.
“Really,” Bucky reassured, “I’m happy to help.”
Tony kissed him once more. “Well then, come help me convince these fools that the original Star Wars trilogy is better than the prequel Trilogy.”
“I am not getting involved,” Bucky declared stoutly, and he planned to stick to that.
“Hey Aunt May, I’m back and I brought—” Peter cut himself off abruptly and seemed to lose his grip on the bag of Chinese take-out he’d been holding. “Mr. Stark?! What are you doing here?”
“Oh my god,” Sam muttered under his breath.
“Kid, you gotta stop with the Mr. Stark stuff,” Clint said solemnly, nodding in agreement with Sam’s current commiserating. Bruce had a hand covering his eyes and Steve was handing a five to Natasha.
“What—what was that? Mr. Stark, why did Captain America just give Black Widow five dollars?” Peter asked in a high voice.
“Because you should never bet against me Pete, remember that,” Nat said before anyone else could answer.
“I bet her that you didn’t keep up calling Tony ‘Mr. Stark’ outside of missions and training,” Steve clarified.
“We’re here because you’ve missed every team night since joining up and I was starting to worry that Natasha was going to kill me in my sleep if I let you get away with it for too much longer, so, we’re bringing the party to you this month!” Tony declared. “Also,” he continued, “Ixnay with the code names, kay?”
“Okay, yeah sure! I can do that. Is that okay with you Miss Natasha?” Peter asked.
“Oh boy…”