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9 Days Later
After nine days of tests and evaluations - and of Fury asking him every invasive question he could think of - Clint was back in New York. He was hoping Phil would be the one to meet him at the airport but Tony was waiting alone when he and Steve disembarked.
“Welcome home, leave again and I will bury you in the desert.”
“Nothing more welcoming than threats. Thanks, Stark.”
Tony looked at him from over the top of his sun glasses and smiled. “You look good, Katniss.”
“You too. Monogamy has treated you well.”
“Thank you for making sure my husband got home.”
“Speaking of, where is Phil? I thought he'd be here.”
Tony cleared his throat. “Agent is going to meet you at the tower.”
Clint sighed but as much as he wanted to see Phil now, it would probably be nice not to have an audience. The drive to the tower consisted mostly of Clint trying to ignore Tony, who was trying to feel up Steve. When they get there Tony immediately pushed him into the elevator. The elevator doors slid open and Tony motioned Clint forward.
“Honey, I’m home and I brought back a lost hawk,” Tony called out from behind him.
Clint heard a crash and the living room filled with Avengers but all he could see was Phil.
“Clint?”
“Phil?”
Clint wanted to walk toward him but the disbelief kept him rooted to the spot, eyes open. He was scared to move, almost as if he did he would wake up back in Iraq. Phil was walking closer and everyone was talking. Phil stopped a few inches from Clint and it felt like all the air in the room had disappeared. Phil was right there and he had to touch him, had to be sure this was real.
Clint reached out his hand to touch Phil’s face and when he actually made contact he was still a little shocked. The gasp must have actually escaped because Phil smiled and leaned into his hand. Phil reached up to do the same but his hand found that spot on Clint's spine that always made him shiver, and Clint was so fucking happy because Phil was there and alive. It was going to be okay and for the first time in years Clint believed it would be.
Then Phil recoiled, face shutting down and ground out, “Elevator. Now.”
Clint turned back to the elevator, following the command without a thought. Whatever Phil was angry at, they could figure it out. Things were going to be fine, great even, because Phil was there and real and alive.
“Jarvis. Privacy mode,” Phil said when the doors closed.
“Of course, Sir.”
As soon as he was sure Jarvis was off, Clint moved in but didn't get far before Phil pushed him back.
“Phil?” He asked, because Clint was confused. Hadn't Phil missed him just as much? Had he moved on? Oh God, what if Phil had taken him in private to tell him that he was remarried.
“Where have you been?” Phil’s voice was calm, controlled. The tone made Clint’s stomach drop.
“The Army?” Clint said, both a question and an excuse.
Phil raised an eyebrow and took in the uniform Clint still had on.
“So you take off without a word for years. Let us all think, let me think, let Tasha think you’re dead to fulfill some patriotic duty?” Phil asked and Clint could read the hurt and the anger in his face.
He expected it from Tasha, knew it was coming, but to hear it from Phil was a surprise.
“I had to leave, you were dead.”
Clint’s eyes scanned for an injury even though he knew it had been years. They both stood silently, taking in each others' changes. Phil looked older, more lines at his eyes and Clint wanted to know if any were from laughter or if it was all stress. He had a new scar on his neck just peeking out of his shirt and Clint wanted to trace it, wanted to kiss it away.
“I was in a coma.”
“I didn’t know, I... I’m sorry you had to wake up without me.” And Clint felt terrible. Suddenly joining the Army seemed so much more selfish and idiotic. Because Phil had been alive, if Clint had just held out and played ball with Fury...
“So, the Army.” Clint let Phil take the out. He knew they would have to talk this out, work out all of their issues.
Clint was in the range at the mansion, bow in hand several hours later. Drawing the heavy cord back took more strength then he remembered but his aim was still true. He could remember being able to draw his bow like an intake of breath, now the muscles screamed after only a few shots.
"It's going to take time to rebuild," Phil's voice startled him, confirming even more how out of practice he was.
"What will?" Because after the almost cold reception he got from Phil when he returned, and the slap from Natasha followed by flat out avoidance it was hard to know what the hell was going on. He'd been so happy when Cap said Phil was okay, alive and waiting, only to be met with anger upon his arrival. It hurt; rejection was an old bed fellow but getting it from Phil was new. He and Tasha acted like Clint had known Phil was alive, acted like Tasha hadn't left him alone to grieve.
"The muscle. It's going to take time and patience. You're out of practice." Phil said.
"I kept in shape though, it shouldn't be this hard to come home."
"Seems like you made home somewhere else and your body knows."
"Is this about Jen and Lizzie? Phil, you know I would never- That I didn't cheat. Lizzie is-"
"I know," Phil interrupted. "Cap told me while you were being cleared."
"If that's not it, then-" Clint sighed. "I thought you'd be happy to see me."
"You think I'm not happy?" Phil sounded off. Clint looked away from his target to see shock plainly written on Phil's face.
"I had this vision of us, I don't know, running into each others arms, or some other rom-com shit,” Clint said, “ Or at the very least, I'm-glad-you're-not-dead sex for days."
"It's been years. You left everything, became someone else. I've seen all the footage, read every report of your debrief but it still doesn't make sense. You just went off site and disappeared, no warnings, no signs, nothing in your behavior said you were going to run. How could you just leave? Leave Tasha, the team, everything we worked for?"
"Hill gave me your Ranger tags and ring. I didn't know what the hell to do. I felt empty and full of fucking everything at the same time. Everyone at SHIELD looked at me like I killed you and I felt like I had. Tasha was gone and at the time, I thought maybe it was because she thought I had too. Phil, I've made bad choices before, let bad people use my good intentions. How could I trust someone else to tell me who to shoot? To have my back? So, I thought about your Ranger tags and how you always said that your Ranger teams made you the man you were and I thought if I had to go it alone, maybe they could do the same for me. Loki took me apart and SHIELD picked at the pieces. I didn't know what to do, or how to be me without you. I couldn't remember what I was like before; I came back to myself but some of the pieces were missing." The words came out haltingly and it felt wrong to be so exposed but if anyone deserved the truth it was Phil.
"Four years ago, I don't think you could have told me that."
"Jen makes me use my words. Says I need to be open for Lizzie." Clint said with a smile.
"She does good work. I am happy to see you. Earlier, seeing you again, I was not expecting to be angry. You're right though, you left for good reasons and I can respect them even if I don't agree."
"So your over it? Just like that?" Clint asked because life didn't normally go so smoothly for him.
"I see no point in dwelling. Although, as appealing as yay-you're-alive sex is," Phil paused and looked Clint over, "I don't want to jump back in. It has been four and a half years, we've both changed and grown."
Phil's ability to accept and move on had always been a mystery to Clint but after 5 years of being together he knew it was true. If Phil said it was over then it was, he wouldn't bring it up in fights or throw it back in Clint's face. Suddenly, their earlier conversation made sense.
"Did you think I moved on?"
"It's a long time to ask anyone to wait. I know you helped Jen out of duty but things can get lonely and -"
"No one." Clint cut in, "No one since you. Jen needed help, what the Army did to her was shitty but even then it was a long time before they were family. There's been no other anything though."
Phil's mouth twitched, "I can't say I'm disappointed to hear that, but it seems selfish to say it makes me happy."
"Was there- did you-. Were you seeing anyone? God, are you seeing anyone?" The questions were burning in him.
"I was a bit too busy between handling the Avengers and looking for my lost husband."
It felt good to hear Phil say the title. "I can't believe I wasted all these years and you're here," Clint said mostly to himself.
Phil stepped closer and took the bow out of Clint's hands, setting it aside before pulling him in for a kiss. And fuck this was what Clint thought he was coming home to. Warm lips, teeth nipping and hands roaming. Phil pulled away and Clint tried to follow.
"We should date."
"What?"
"You and I should go on a date. Get to know each other again. Make sure we're still compatible."
"Oh we're compatible," Clint said as he jerked their hips together. "We should go check out compatibility upstairs, using a bed.”
Phil leaned in and kissed him again, this time Clint could feel him slow it down and pull back with reluctance.
"As amazing as that sounds," Phil started.
Clint groaned, he hadn't been this hard in years. Phil leaned in for an apologetic brush of lips that Clint tried his damnedest to make dirtier. This time Phil pulled away and a chuckle escaped, the opposite of what Clint was going for, maybe he'd lost his touch.
"Good to know somethings haven't changed. You're still pushy."
"Want you," Clint said as he went for Phil's neck to place a soft bite. God he missed this, missed the smell of Phil's neck where it met the shoulder.
"You're a tease," Phil said as he pushed back gently.
"Doesn't have to be."
"You know I'm right. We should get to know each other again, do this the right way." It sounded like it hurt to say.
Clint took a deep breath and raked a hand through his hair, momentarily distracted by its length.
"Yeah, you're right. I just... you know?"
"I do."
It took them two weeks to get a night off together between Clint going through evaluations and Phil handling the Avengers, and at that point Clint was fairly sure Fury was just giving them shit. Phil refused to tell him where they were going or anything about the date other than to dress casual. Clint met Phil in front of the tower and was relieved to see him also in jeans.
"Wasn't sure what your version of casual would entail," Clint teased.
Phil smiled, "You've seen me in jeans."
"Been too long, " Clint said crowding Phil up against the car. "You look good."
Clint leaned in and kissed him lightly, "Really good."
Phil reached down and brushed against the growing bulge in his jeans and hell yeah this was going well. The last two weeks of phone calls and texts had paid off. Phil moved from his mouth to nip at his neck then whisper, "You feel good." Pressing into his groin and Clint moaned at how good it felt. "Now get in the car."
What? Clint jerked back, confused.
"I told you, we're going on a date. Car now." Phil said and tossed him the keys.
When Clint first came to SHIELD he hated letting anyone else drive and falling asleep in the car was out of the question. As a show of faith Phil tried as often as possible to let him drive, claiming he had things to look through on the way, It took Clint three missions to hand Phil the keys and seven to fall asleep. The first time Clint fucked up and failed to kill his target and brought her home instead, Phil handed him the keys and told him to explain. I trust you, now be honest with me.
Now, Clint had the keys but he'd prefer to let Phil drive while he chose music and finally passed out in the passenger seat. Even though it took him a while to fall asleep and let someone else drive, he loved to do so. The open road reminded him of good times at the circus and being lulled to sleep by the rhythm of the road and rocking of the car.
"Don't dates normally involve food?" Clint asked once they pulled away.
"Figured we could go to that crab place."
"It's like two hours away."
"Plenty of time to get to know each other," Phil said and the corner of his mouth lifted in a smile.
*************
1 Month Later
“Tasha, thanks for coming by.” Phil said.
Natasha quirked an eyebrow and closed the door. It wasn't as though she'd had a choice, Phil had Fury tell her to meet him.
“You know why I asked you here?”
“A mission?” She asked hopefully, because she had no interest in the inevitable discussion of her feelings.
“You can't stay mad forever. It's not good for the team. He'll be cleared eventually and I need to know that you can work together.”
“I'm not angry at Clint.”
Now it was Phil's turn to quirk an eyebrow.
“I'm not. However, I knew Clint before. Now he has five years of other partners, teams, experiences. Other people to call allegiance to. I do not know my place in that.”
“You really think him to be so different?” Phil asked.
She nodded, “I do not know how it is working between you two, or how you fill in the gap, but the Clint I knew did not want to bring a child into this world. If something so fundamental has changed, what else has?”
“So, you're avoidance isn't out of anger?”
“We both abandoned him,” she waved a hand at Phil's protest and continued, “For whatever our reasons. Clint never dealt with abandonment well. His leaving in pain is easy to forgive.”
Phil sighed, “He didn't choose the family. His battle buddy in the Army died, leaving her partner, Jen, alone and pregnant. When Clint found out she wasn't receiving the military benefits she should have he stepped in to help. That is very like my husband of five years ago, jumping in without thinking it through,” Phil smiled. “He thought it would help Jen and give him something to tell his fellow soldiers when they asked him about home. It's why he needs us, no? To warn him before he jumps into a life long commitment.”
Natasha smiled and nodded. Clint wouldn't have thought about the long term, especially not after losing someone he thought was supposed to protect.
“He does have a thing for saving damsels in distress.”
Phil laughed, “Are you calling yourself a damsel?”
Natasha inclined her head, “When I need to be.”
“We're picking up Jen and Elizabeth from the airport in an hour, you should come. See if he is the same.”
Natasha smiled, she'd already planned on it.
At the airport, Natasha watched as a blond woman got off the Stark jet holding the hand of a little brown haired girl. She saw Clint's face light up when the girl came running to him, and Phil lean down beside them to hold out a brightly colored bag. The child – Lizzie, she corrected herself - opened the bag with gusto only young children and puppies could manage. She let out a happy giggle when she pulled out a bear in a garish blue outfit. Natasha looked up to find Clint's eyes on her, a bright smile and an open hand gesture to say, 'this is my family'.
As the group approached her position, Natasha saw that the garish blue outfit was actually a Captain America costume.
0
“Nat, this is Jen and my daughter Lizzie,” Clint gestured.
Jen held out a hand and smiled, “Will has told me next to nothing about you but he was really insistent we meet.”
Natasha took her hand, relieved that Clint had kept her secrets. This time Phil caught her eye, “see, same priorities.”
“I'm sure they would all be lies anyway.” She banters back to Jen.
Then she bent down to eye level, “You must be Elizabeth.”
“The little girl nodded, trying to hide behind Clint.
Natasha lifted a brow, “I have a hard time believing anyone you had a hand in raising is shy.”
Clint laughed, “It's all an act. She is just trying to butter you up to get to your wallet.”
“She wouldn't if you hadn't taught her to pick pockets,” Jen exclaimed.
As they walked to the car, Phil leaned into Natasha. “You know she has your wallet right?”
“Just my decoy.”
Phil chuckled.
“It was a good lift and it is important to encourage her.” Natasha answered the unspoken question.
“To be Oliver Twist?”
“One man's miscreant is another man's spy in training. Think Jen will let me teach her martial arts?”
Clint turned back to them,”She's already in classes. Although with the move to New York we'll have to find a new instructor.”
“Is that a request?” She asked.
Clint stopped and looked her in the eye, “There is no one I would trust with my daughter's safety as much as you. Jen and I would really appreciate it if you would do it.”
Behind him Jen nodded.
“My daddy said you could make me into a super hero so I can show Tommy that girls can save people too.”
“Of course, Clint.” She knelt down to Lizzie, “Girls can be even better then boys, never let anyone tell you different.”
Lizzie nodded seriously and held her Captain America bear to her chest. Jen reached down and grabbed her hand.
“Let's get going, Dad promised lunch.”
“Cooked by Captain America!” Clint said and grabbed Lizzie's other hand.
Natasha and Phil let them get ahead. She could hear Clint extolling on the merits of Cap's cooking and Lizzie talking about super-food.
“Not so different?” Phil asked from beside her.
“Better.” Natasha answered and he was; Clint was calmer and happier than she'd ever seen him. But he still loved as fiercely and was just as loyal as before.
“Tasha, tell Jen that you can't ever start knife throwing too young.” Clint turned to her.
Natasha shook her head.
“Phil, back me up.”
“Clint, Jen is right 4 is too young, 6 is the earliest.”
Clint looked to her and gave a slight head tilt, Natasha gave an even slighter nod in response.
“Phil sighed, “I dread for the future safety of this country.”
“You know Fury has her whole career planned.”
**************
2 Months Later
2 months
Steve was sitting in Phil's office going over the jeweled crab crisis when the phone rang.
-Coulson.-
-Agent Coulson, this is Dr. Fields the pysch department and medical have finished the last of our tests and we've concluded Agent Barton is ready for active service.-
-You've got the all clear from Dr.Windt?-
-Yes, sir.-
-Thank you for calling me, I will let the Director know. I will expect your reports in an hour.-
-Of course, Agent Coulson. Have a good day.-
-You too.-
Phil replaced the phone and looked at Steve, “You heard?”
“Dr. Erskine wasn't kidding about super hearing,” Steve smiled. “So, Hawkeye will be back on the team. Officially.”
“I'm sure the Director will be thrilled to know Barton will no longer be camping out and commenting on Stark's hijacked comm.”
“Your boy has some great tactical insights. We're lucky to have him. I'm excited to work with him in a full capacity. Not that I'm hoping something horrible happens,” Steve finished and Phil smiled.
“Imagine the headlines, Captain America hopes for chaos! Stark would be thrilled.” Phil joked.
“Tony would be proud,” Steve agreed with a laugh.
“Not to run you out but I'm going to call Fury then Clint.”
Steve stood up to leave, “If you want I can be there, as team leader if anyone had doubts.”
Phil looked grateful, “Hopefully we won't need you to.”
Steve went to the door and heard Phil pick up the phone as he closed it.
It took two weeks doe the Avengers to need to be assembled again. The team received a report of a possible alien craft in Central Park. Tony was first on scene as usual and Steve hoped he didn't immediately offend the aliens before they found out if they were hostile.
“Ironman is on scene.”
“Can you verify if the ship is of alien origin?”
“Defiantly alien. It looks like an office building. Man that can not be aerodynamic, I wonder what the resistance factor is on that thing -”
“Repeat Ironman.”
“I'm not kidding Steve. It looks like an office building and the fat ass green guy on the ground is demanding I refile my ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha reestablishment form.”
Three hours later the ship disembarked, leaving a satisfied Phil and Pepper. Steve gave Clint a comforting shoulder pat.
“Welcome back.”
“I didn't even get to fire an arrow. Not one! Two months of tests and we get the only bureaucratic aliens in the universe.”
Steve sat down at the conference table with the rest of the team. The aliens had only left a half hour ago and everyone was still in uniform but for once clean of debris. After everyone was seated, Phil started handing out packets of forms.
“Okay, today's debrief will be a bit different than normal as Pepper and I handled the actual invasion. The visitors did bring up an excellent point, we are horribly behind on our Emergent Contingency paperwork. Now, please turn to page two of your booklet after reading the SHIELD limited responsibility clause on page one.”
The Avengers moaned and Tony raised his hand, “Technically I don't work for SHIELD so-.”
“Not this time,” Phil interrupted. “Anyone that works for or in conjunction with SHIELD has to fill this out or be removed from the position.”
“So, why are Nat and I here?” Clint asked.
“Updates,” Phil deadpanned.
Steve looked down at the front page of legal jargon and leaned into Tony. “Are we supposed to actually read any of this?” He whispered.
“Just turn the page and we will get this over with. All it says is SHIELD isn't responsible for our death, maiming, kidnapping or disfigurement. Oh and we donate our bodies to them once dead but I'll have Pep renegotiate it later. After we have post mission victory sex.”
“Technically we didn't win. Phil and Pepper did.”
“Aren't you always telling me that we're a team and as a team we win or lose?”
Steve shook his head and smiled,always a loophole, but slid a hand to his husband's thigh.
“I'll assume everyone that is going to read it has done so. Question 1) In the event you are magically de-aged to a child with no adult memories please list a preferred caretaker and a back-up caretaker. One of these people can not be an Avenger or SHIELD active duty agent. If you fail to do so, one will be provided by mine or the Director's choosing.”
Steve looked to Tony's paper to see his own name and Pepper's, then raised his hand.
“Yes, Steve?”
“Can we have the same person or people?”
“You can not all leave your child selves to Pepper.”
Steve heard Clint lean over to Natasha and whisper, “Hill, funny or horrible?”
“Horrible.”
“Now Part B of that questions. As an adult, do you consent that your de-aged self be allowed on missions, given caffeine or used as bait? If so sign the corresponding blanks.” Phil continued on over the whispers.
“You can't use kids as bait!” Steve couldn't believe they would even list it.
“It's not so bad, they give you candy.” Clint said.
“You were de-aged?” Bruce asked.
“There was a scientist in Yugoslavia,” Clint replied with a shrug.
“Agent Barton is a reason for a surprising number of these contingencies.” Phil sounded tired.
“Do you have any medical write ups or personal field reports from that mission?” Bruce said with excitement.
“Dr. Banner I can give you the file after this. Now, please write in any special requests before you ask you can not consent to alcohol.”
Steve glanced over to see Tony write in I consent to science and explosions.
“In the event that you are de-aged but have all of your adult reasoning and memories you will be given a brief test of personal details mixed with logic questions. Once proven you will be treated as an adult.”
Phil turned the page and continued, “The next page involves transformations into mythical or magical creatures, such as a vampire or werewolf. Please read it carefully as SHIELD clearly outlines the containment and quarantine policy. If you do have someone willing to be a live blood donor please ask HR for the MACP-3 consent form and have it completed and motorized.”
“So, Legolas, any fun transformations from Transylvania stories?”
“Nah, this clause is all Agent Thomas' fault,” Clint looked up at Phil. “You willing to donate blood in the vent of a brief case of vampire-ism?”
“Depends on why someone else was sucking on your neck.”
“Worry not shield brother. If any of you fall prey, I will give my life blood if needed,” Thor said solemnly.
“It is much appreciated Thor, however you, Cap and Bruce are all on the no-go list for donations. No way of knowing how the serum or god blood would react. The last thing we need is a hulked out werewolf.”
“You show much wisdom Son of Coul,” Thor agreed.
Steve turned to the next page when Phil flipped his and startled, “I'm sorry does that say sex pollen?”
Phil looked up, “With Loki around we felt it might be a good idea to include a pollen, potion, dust and alien heat clause.”
Thor nodded sagely.
“Can married people skip this section? Obviously, I consented when I said I do,” Tony spoke up next to him.
“Actually this section is double important for married Agents and/or response team members. In the event your spouse is unavailable we need an agreed upon plan.”
“You want me to plan on who to cheat on Steven with?”
“It's not cheating,” Clint said, “That is why there is paperwork.”
“And you and Agent just have an in case of sex magic/gas/pollen clause?” Tony sounded bewildered.
“Clint and I opted to go through quarantine or closest proximity there of until it wears off. He is of course welcome to change his mind.”
“Where is that box?” Steve asked.
“Bottom of the page, left side. Right under the Name Your Stand In portion, Cap.”
“Thanks.”
“You guys already discussed this?” Tony went on.
“Well yeah considering the aphrodisiac that got us together in-”
“Clint, not now. We still have several more sections to go through. Please list any conditions and sign the waivers. As a note, should you choose the quarantine option, I must warn you it will be painful and sedatives may not be available. There is no shame in picking a friend you trust.”
Over the next hour Steve and the rest of the Avengers filled out paperwork for his wishes in the event of a twin, clone, kidnapping, unexpected bond and temporary animal transformation.
“Thank you for your patience just one more thing for the group then I need Steve, Tony and Clint to stay.”
Steve looked down at his last page which just held blank lines.
“This is any special requests you may have for me to fulfill before your personal effects are turned into your next of kin. Please, make sure the request is clear then sign and date. If you wish this section may be updated at any time.”
“Are you asking about like what we want buried with us?” Bruce seemed confused.
“I would be buried on Asgard with Mjölnir.”
“Nah, I think Agent is officially to get rid of our porn stash before your Auntie Edna gets your locker box,” Tony said.
“Mr. Stark, I'm sure no matter what I'll never find all of it.”
“I've left Jarvis with a map. I call it the Booty Map.”
“Who does Clint leave his requests to?” Steve thought it was only fair to ask.
Clint scoffed, “Tasha.”
“You think I'm hiding your dildo collection?”
“Only the weird ones.”
Steve was regretting having asked.
“On that disturbing note, everyone but Steve, Tony and my delinquent husband are free to go.”
Phil waited until everyone else was gone to hand out another packet but Steve was pleased to note it was a good deal smaller.
“As you know gay marriage may be legal in New York but its still not legal on the federal level. Clint and I were married in Canada and that was always enough for SHIELD. With the Avengers so public we need you to fill out medical and power of attorney paperwork. Tony, I know you already have it filed but I want SHIELD to have a copy.”
Steve sighed, it hurt to see social injustice was still alive and well in America.
“Do I need to fill it out again because of your dea-,” Clint cut off. “ because of your death or my disappearance.”
“Neither,” Phil said coming around the table to place a hand on Clint's neck. “It's for Lizzie. I need you to sign the paperwork for me to be able to take her to the hospital in case of emergency. If Jen was unavailable or-”
“Hey as far as Jen and I are concerned, Lizzie is yours too.”
Steve felt like he was intruding on a moment between them. “Well, I think Tony and I are finished. If we can go?”
Phil nodded. “Have a nice night.”
“Thanks, you too.”
As they walked out, Tony grabbed his hand. “So, victory sex?”