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Stiles rubbed his hands together, warming them as he walked hurriedly to the large house. It was freezing cold out and he hadn't dressed for the weather; not having enough time to spare on appearance after getting the call.
He stepped onto the curb and through the beautiful landscaped yard of the largest house near the entrance of the newly built neighborhood in Beacon Hills. Unlike most of Beacon Hills, this neighborhood wasn't full of cookie cutter houses; each house looking unique in its own majestic way.
Stiles made it to the front of the residence and knocked on the red door, peering through the kaleidoscope glass to catch a glimpse of a figure in the house. He only had to wait a few moments until the door opened.
And there he was.
Derek Hale in all his fucking glory. Perfect dark almost black hair, warm tan skin, beautifully intense bluish-green eyes and a 5'o clock shadow Stiles wanted so badly to feel against his body...everyday.
The white v-neck t-shirt he was wearing fit perfectly, smoothing out over every bicep and ab, as his dark jeans held snug to his muscular legs and round ass.
Perfect. Always perfect.
“Come in.” he greeted, stepping aside to let Stiles in.
Stiles almost missed it; too busy ogling the man before him. The man that he can now only see once every few months.
He stepped into the warm home that smelled of vanilla and cinnamon candles. The foyer was decorated with flowers and family portraits running along the wall. There was an old photo of the Hale family all together at a family reunion. Photos of a young, smiling Derek at the beach holding up a baby turtle; his bunny teeth on display. Beside it was a picture of Derek with her…Kate Argent. His wife.
Yeah, she kept her last name. Didn't even hyphenate it.
He clenched his jaw and tried to ignore the feeling of the snake of guilt and jealousy that had made itself a home within him, writhing in his stomach incessantly. He went through this every time he came over. He brought his attention back to Derek who had probably been observing him the entire time.
“So…are we going upstairs?” Stiles asked gesturing to the grand staircase leading to the second floor of the large house. Derek raised his brows and smirked.
“No drink or food? Come on, I made coffee.”
Stiles shook his head
"Derr I’m not really hungry. I ate before I-.”
“Stiles, come on. I already made the coffee, and I made too much. Besides...I want to talk.”
Stiles knew Derek wouldn’t take no for answer and he was already half way into the kitchen, so he just followed. Weary of Derek 'wanting to talk'.
He laid back against the opening of the kitchen and watched Derek open the cherrywood cabinet and take two mugs out, placing them on the counter while he searched the containers on the counter for condiments. The coffee maker beeped just as he fished out the packs of sugar and cream.
Stiles then walked over to the island that was personally designed to hold stools in the large cabinets, pulled one out and sat.
He looked around the kitchen, for what must have been the hundredth time.
The hundredth time seeing what could’ve been his.
What should be his.
It looked like someone opened up Home Daily and pointed at the most beautiful kitchen model they saw and said ‘That one!’
Which he was pretty sure she did…
Derek placed Stiles' cup in front of him with three packs of sugar and creamer. He smirked lightly at Derek never forgetting how he likes his coffee. He liked his soft and sweet, Derek of course, preferred his coffee black.
The taller man sat next to him and smiled, his fucking beautiful smile, the crinkle in his eyes made Stiles' heart flutter. It wasn’t fair.
He was so tired of this.
“How have you been Stiles? It’s been a month since I’ve seen you last.” Derek said as he took a sip of his coffee. Stiles scoffed.
“You mean since you last fucked me.” he laughed coldly, when he didn't get a response he looked over to see Derek frowning, yeah, that’s the Derek he knows.
“Stiles…don’t do this.” Derek said bluntly, Stiles took a sip of his coffee, it was really good.
“Derek, I’m sorry I just…I’m tired...and-”
"And what?" Derek asked, reaching out and taking Stiles' hand in his own. His touch felt like a poisonous fire, burning itself into his Stiles' skin.
Stiles licked his lips before looking up at Derek. Into those eyes. “I’m lonely. I wake up at seven in the morning. Drive out to the city. Work at the paper. Maybe stop at the grocery store on my way back home," he sighed and wiped his face in embarrassment, "I get back and I watch movies online until I fall asleep. Then do it all over again. Derek I don’t have anyone anymore. I’m lonely. And I’m tired. ”.
Derek sighed and nodded; looking away from Stiles and down into his mug. There was a moment between them when nothing was said until Derek ran his hands through his hair and finally spoke. “You should get more sleep; you know…that aderrall isn’t helping things either.”
And that’s all he had to say? Is that Stiles should get some sleep? Some fucking sleep? Lay off the adderall and that would make everything better?
“That’s not what I’m talking about!” Stiles shouted glaring to his mug, “You said you’d leave her and-”.
“Stiles I said-”
“I know what you fucking said Derek ok? Just…let’s just go fuck and get it over with.” He grumbled. Knowing how much Derek hated it when he called sex between them fucking in anger.
Stiles jumped at the loud sound of Derek’s mug hitting the counter, filling the heavy silence in the large space of the kitchen. He looked up and Derek was pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head. As if he was annoyed, as if he had a right to be mad at anything.
“Stiles, she’s not going anywhere.” He said softly, but Stiles knew better, that was just Derek being an inch away from yelling and he didn’t care. Not this time. The snake in his stomach was hissing loudly and he could hear it in his ears.
“You don’t even fucking love her!” he yelled, Derek looked up at him, his eyes cutting sharply into Stiles.
“Yes I do. Why do you think I married her?” Stiles cringed, the memory of him at the wedding flashed into his mind. Sitting two rows from the alter. Watching Derek profess his fake love to her. Everyone sitting there soaking it up, crying, smiling, happy. Happy for them, happy for Stiles’ pain and suffering.
“You married her because you were scared Derek, out of fear not love. You love me. Not that bitch.” he spat.
Before he knew it Derek had grabbed his collar and was pinning him down on the counter, luckily far away from the mugs of burning hot coffee.
“Don’t say that!” Derek growled.
“Say what? That she’s a fucking whore or that you love me? Is it that hard? You haven’t said it in months Derek. You haven’t even called us lovers. What? Are you calling me over and fucking me out of some sense of obligation?” he said trying to push Derek off, failing. “Hmm? Is that it? You’re doing this so that I don’t fall apart at the seams? Because I'm a charity case? You made me like this Derek. You did!” he yelled jabbing his finger into the other mans muscular chest.
“Shut up Stiles! I fucking mean it.” Derek warned through clenched teeth, Stiles furrowed his brows and looked up at Derek.
“Or what? You won’t call me over again when she isn’t here so you can fuck me and then treat me as if nothing happened? And then call me a month later to do it all again? Shit! Do YOU even fuck her Derek?”
“She wouldn’t be pregnant if I weren’t, now would she?”
As soon as the words left Derek's mouth Stiles froze. The look on Derek’s face instantly changed, the anger now replaced with an apologetic stare. Stiles felt Derek’s grip on him soften, he used all his strength to force his hands off of him and stood up and began to walk out the kitchen. He couldn’t believe it. She was pregnant. Pregnant with Derek’s child. He felt hands on his wrist pulling him back.
“Stiles I’m sorry I-.” Stiles jerked his arm away and turned around punching Derek in the chest. Not that he would even feel it.
“You’re sorry? You’re sorry? What the fuck are you sorry about?” he was laughing the words out, but each one was cutting his heart like a razor; the snake was dead. Gone. “Sorry that you got your wife pregnant? Who apologizes about that Derek? Who?”
“Stiles…”
“STOP saying my fucking name!” He turned to leave again but Derek grabbed him again pulling him in close.
“Just fucking listen for once!” he shouted, shaking Stiles.
“No Derek. Fuck you! My dad hasn’t spoken to me in months because of you! Scott, Lydia and everyone else looks at me like I’m some type of charity case for trying to be with you! You made sure you got Danny out of my life, you made sure I couldn’t love anyone else! You’ve been ruining my fucking life since I was sixteen. I fucking hate you!” Stiles yelled, his voice probably filling the entire house.
Derek paused and then something else in his face changed, he looked angry. Before he knew it Stiles' back had been slammed against a counter.
“You fucking hate me?” Derek asked, voice cutting low as he reached between them and tugged Stiles pants and underwear down, roughly hoisting him up on the counter. Stiles tried to push him away but Derek just held his hands with his other.
“Derek get off of me!”
“You hate me Stiles? I’ve been ruining you? Ruining your life?” Derek had somehow managed to pull his own pants down and thrust himself into Stiles. Stiles gasped at the sudden fullness, the unpreparedness and choked on a breath that caught in his throat.
“You fucking hate me?” Derek repeated, pushing into Stiles again.
“I hate you so much. I-fuck- fucking hate you.” Stiles hiccupped as Derek jammed into him roughly; the position they were in was extremely uncomfortable. Stiles’ pants were down to his ankles but his legs were bunched into his chest while Derek fucked into him.
He couldn’t breathe with how hard Derek as slamming into him, the cabinets underneath themrattling. There was no lube being used, just the small amount of precome that had wiped against his hole before Derek pushed in.
This is where they were now. This fucked up. Destroyed. Thing.
“Guess what? I f-fucking hate you too Stiles,” Derek panted as he pulled Stiles entire body into his, over and over again, “I hate that you make me love you.”
Stiles gasped again at Derek's relentless pace. He wanted to get away, but he wanted to stay at the same time.
“I hate how much you make me happy.”
“I hate that you’re with her.”
Derek had managed to change his angle and was now rutting into Stiles’ prostate sending intense burning pleasure through his blood, his bones. It felt so right, them being together...so perfect. So broken.
“I hate that she isn’t you…fuck-I’m close.”
“I hate that...I’ll never love anyone that isn’t you.” Stiles whimpred as Derek pulled all the way out and then thrust back in.
“ I hate that I love you -fuck! Derek…I’m going to come, I’m...I’m…”
Stiles’ orgasm tore through him and he threw his head back, it slamming into the cabinets behind him. He pushed forward into Derek taking him deeper, his body shook at the feeling of Derek being so far inside him. So connected.
Derek had gone quiet and Stiles knew he was coming too, Derek always got silent when his orgasm hit. He could feel the swelling feeling of Derek inside of him. And he couldn’t help but clench his walls down around him.
“Fuck, Stiles.” Derek whispered his face frowning as he let his bliss pass. When he was done he pulled out of Stiles and let his legs down. He turned away to fix himself. Stiles pulled his underwear up, not even wanting to see the possible damage that had been done. He pulled up his pants and wiped the sweat from his neck, he didn’t know he was crying until a tear dropped against his arm.
His whole body was burning.
“I’m not doing this anymore” he said quietly, he saw Derek who was still turned away nod softly.
“Derek I have to move on…I-I can’t live my life for you anymore.”
“I know.”
Stiles’ brows knitted together, Derek’s voice was wrecked, and not wrecked with the aftermath of the sex, his voice was broken, Stiles could tell he was crying. He walked around and over to stand in front of Derek lifting his head. Derek’s face was flushed red, his cheeks wet with tears. He’d never seen Derek cry before.
“Stiles…don’t…don’t leave me.” he cried, Stiles looked away.
“Derek, you’re about to have a family…and I can’t do this anymore. It’s not healthy for me…for us. And it’s wrong…what we just did was wrong.” Derek shook his head.
“I’ll pay you to stay. I’ll buy you a house, a car. Anything you want” Derek pleaded; he wiped his face and stood up straighter as if to regain control of himself. Stiles placed his hand on Derek’s warm face and looked into his eyes
“Goodbye Derek…OW!”
Derek had grabbed his wrist, tighter than he ever had before, and it hurt. Derek was hurting him. He hadn’t touched Stiles like this since he was in high school. He had promised that he wouldn’t do it again. He never keeps his fucking promises.
“I won’t let you leave me!” Derek shouted, Stiles tried to pull his arm away but there was no way he was getting loose. “Derek let go.”
“No.”
“Derek, don’t do this. It isn’t healthy, we can’t keep doing this.” Stiles said shakily, he was definitely scared now. The look on Derek’s face wasn’t his own. It was a look of someone who was desperate, obsessed. His eyes running quickly all over Stiles body, his head shaking as he let out a sob and wiped his nose with the back of his other arm.
“Stiles I’m sickly in love with you, I don’t want to be healthy if it means not having you, I don't want to live without you”, Derek pulled him out the kitchen and into his study, Stiles tried pulling away but it was useless, Derek was too strong.
“Derek what are you doing?” Stiles asked, he’d seen the extent of what Derek’s mind could lead him to do, but never like this, he was terrified. Derek was using his other hand to pull the drawer of his desk open and yanked out a small silver gun. Stiles’ eyes widened and he began pulling away frantically.
“Derek what is that?!?”
“Stiles I…” Derek didn’t sound like himself, he sounded empty, gone.
“Derek what are you doing?”
“Stiles I love you so much” Derek cried, tears streaming down his face again, Stiles stopped moving and used his other hand to caress Derek’s arm, in an attempt to calm him down.
“I won’t leave…I won’t leave you. I promise. I won’t-”, Derek shook his head
“You’re lying…you’ve always been such a fucking bad liar.”
“Derek let me go!” Stiles' shouted, Derek looked at him and wiped his face with the hand holding the gun and shook his head again.
“Stiles…if I can’t have you, no one can.”