Archive of Our Own

.

Im not happy

I don’t have many friends like others

I’m not pretty like others

I’m not enough

Am i not enough?

I’m not enough for others

I’m not enough for myself

Am i not enough?

But I’m not sad about it

I’m not happy either

I just don’t feel enough

I don’t know why but i just can’t make friends

And keep relationships

And love myself

And be kind enough

Pretty enough

Clever enough

I’m not enough

So i don’t feel enough

Because I don’t have enough

And I simply don’t know why

I don’t really know how to make friends

It looks extremely simple to others

Why isn’t it like this for me

Others

always feel above others

When I’m below

I’m envious

A lot

Because it looks like they’re enough

“Just because it looks doesn’t mean it IS”

Always repeating this phrase to myself

To convince me that im not the problem

Probably i am

I don’t know why

I don’t know if there’s a “why”

I don’t feel like others

But in reality

I don’t want to be like others

Just an excuse

To be envious

I dont wanna be like others

I dont wanna have a pretty body

A pretty face

Lots of friends

A relationship

Good grades

A PRETTY LIFE

A happy life

A normal life

A life

This doesn’t make me sad

But not happy either

I’m not happy