Chapter Text
ATEEZ the First K-Pop Group to perform at Mawazine!
ATEEZ the First Male K-Pop Group to Perform at Coachella
ATEEZ…the Farewell Tour 2034…
Hongjoong sighed to himself as he ran a hand through his salt and pepper hair as he glanced at some of the framed articles he had decorating the walls of his home studio. He stood up from his desk chair and flicked off the lights in the studio, walking to his living room of his spacious penthouse in Apgujeong. Hongjoong had long since left the limelight. After ATEEZ's disbandment and a brief period as a solo producer, he had quietly resigned from the music industry, choosing instead to lead a life out of the public eye. Despite this retirement, he looked back on his life with contentment, albeit tinged with a hint of melancholy.
Hongjoong sat in his quiet apartment, the soft glow of the evening sunlight casting long shadows across the room. The walls were almost bare, save for a few framed photos of his ATEEZ days, a reminder of his past, as well as some impressionist and modern paintings here and there. As he looked around, he couldn't help but feel a pang of nostalgia for those days of youthful energy and boundless ambition. He plucked a bottle of wine from his wine fridge and turned it over in his hands, smiling wistfully at the label before uncorking the bottle…a 2040 Pinot Noir… 2040 … the year Hongjoong officially stepped out of the music industry, and six years after ATEEZ had retired as a group. He poured himself a glass and admired the rich blood red color in his glass before walking over to the windows in his living room overlooking the Seoul skyline. He brought the glass to his lips and let the taste of the wine bloom across his tongue before he swallowed, still looking at some of the old pictures from the height of his ATEEZ days.
"Thirty years have passed since then," he murmured, his gaze lingering on the photos.
“It's hard to believe.” He mused to himself staring out his window…
Indeed, if someone had told him all those years ago that he'd reach this point in his life, he might not have believed them. But here he was, still in good health but firmly detached from the world that had once consumed his every waking moment.
Retirement had brought with it a sense of peace he hadn't expected. No more endless practice sessions, no more press tours, no more the constant scrutiny of the public eye. It was a strange kind of freedom, one that he had longed for in his younger years, but which now felt somewhat bittersweet. His fingers traced the edge of an old photo, capturing a snapshot of his younger self, a wide smile on his face and a fire in his eyes. He could almost feel the adrenaline of performing, the sweat dripping down his forehead, the roar of the crowd in his ears. A faint smile tugged at the corners of his lips as the memories flooded his mind. Yet, alongside that adrenaline-fueled rush, there was a lingering regret, a whisper at the back of his mind that he had missed out on something else in life… He thought back to the final tour ATEEZ had, which they had announced after they all had come to an agreement to finally hang up their group act as some of the members had expressed a desire to settle down and have families of their own. Of course they all kept in contact and saw each other when they could, but they were all older now… Hongjoong would be 50 in a few months time… He chuckled to himself at the mere thought of turning 50…
“Damn… when did I get old?...” He mused to himself as he stared out the window, bringing his wine glass up to his lips.
Some of the others had families now, their children now reaching the ages they had been at the heights of their careers, Wooyoung even was expecting a grandchild the last time Hongjoong spoke to him… Hongjoong smiled at the thought, he was always so fond of children, he must be ecstatic…
Hongjoong thought about himself in particular, he had never married, never settled down with someone to share his life. In the midst of his relentless pursuit of success, he had simply never prioritized love and relationships. For Hongjoong, love had always seemed like a luxury he couldn’t afford. With time dedicated to work and the stress of leading ATEEZ, it was often pushed to the back of his priorities, always pushed aside for the “sometime in the future” that he assumed would arrive eventually. But now, with retirement and solitude as his only companions, he couldn't shake off the feeling that he had allowed the most important aspect of life to slip through his fingers without him even realizing it. The irony of his situation wasn't lost on him. Despite his accomplishments and success in life, he felt like he had missed the boat on something crucial. Love wasn't just about having a partner to share his life with; it was about connection, about understanding and growing together. He had experienced that connection with his bandmates and his fans to some extent, but it wasn't the same as the intimacy and exclusivity of a romantic relationship. Especially when he thought about… him…
His mind wandered to all of the memories that he had tried to suppress for years. Memories of that soft voice and gentle smile, of late nights spent in quiet conversation, of stolen glances filled with a desire he dared not acknowledge. The man he had loved quietly, without ever confessing his feelings to… Park Seonghwa …
His name echoed in Hongjoong's mind like a haunting melody, stirring up a mix of emotions he had long buried. He had loved him with an intensity that bordered on passion, but had never once expressed that love openly. He had watched him from a distance, nursing the secret flame that burned within his heart, and now, in his reflection, he wondered what might have been had he been braver. Seonghwa's presence had always been a comfort in his days with ATEEZ, his calmness, a soothing balm to the chaos. They had a connection that went beyond words, that could be felt even with a single glance. And yet, Hongjoong had never found the courage to tell him how he truly felt. He had been too afraid of ruining their friendship, of being rejected, of losing the one person who understood him more than anyone else…
As he looked back on his life, Hongjoong found himself torn. He did feel a pang of regret for not pursuing a romantic relationship, for letting love slip through his fingers in favor of his music career. But amidst that regret, there was also a sense of acceptance, a realization that perhaps love just wasn't part of his life's design. He had led a fulfilling career, and he had built strong bonds with his bandmates, especially with Seonghwa, whom he loved deeply. Maybe it was that very love, even if it remained unspoken, that had given him strength in his darkest moments… It was this conflict of emotions, the constant battle between regret and acceptance, between love and solitude, that defined Hongjoong's reflections on his life. The ghost of what could have been hung over him, yet so did the satisfaction of a life well-lived. In the end, he concluded that, while love may not have been a significant part of his life, the memories he had and the friendships he had made served as a testament to the rich journey he had been on… He was content with the life he had built for himself. He took another sip of his wine, a smile gracing his lips once again at the memories that flickered through his mind… He wouldn’t trade it for the world…
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Hongjoong woke up on an empty subway platform… Not a single person was in sight and the platform was surrounded in a dense fog. He glanced around confused.
“Hello?...” He called out tentatively, hearing his voice echo back to him.
He walked up and down the platform, hearing the heels of his boots click and echo against the concrete. Suddenly, a set of lights began to emerge through the thick fog, followed by the sound of a train whistle. A large old fashioned black steam engine pulled up to the platform and halted to a stop in front of him. The door to the passenger car opened on its own and a voice called out from within the car:
“Passenger 19981107, Passenger 19981107 please board the train now…”
Hongjoong glanced around and took note of the fact he was still the only one on the platform. Then gasped when he noticed a silver train ticket in his hand, with “Passenger 19981107” written on it in scrawling calligraphy script. He looked up at the steam engine again in awe before taking a hesitant step forward and boarding the train.
Hongjoong walked inside of the train and took in the lavish red, black and gold interior. The car was completely empty… Hongjoong swallowed and took a step forward, finding a seat by the window. Once seated the engine of the train roared to life and began to pull away from the platform. The train began its journey through the dense fog, where to? Hongjoong was unsure, however he felt a strange sense of serenity wash over him as the train chugged along the tracks. He heard voices outside the window of the train and glanced out the window… an image of Hongjoong and his brother Bumjoong playing together as children, with Hongjoong laughing happily alongside him. The next image was one of him competing on MIXNINE, with his flaming red hair and a heart full of hope for his future. He smiled at the thought… in hindsight he was happy to have been eliminated for he would not have had the career he had otherwise. The next memory was the filming of KQ FELLAZ’s dance videos… Where it all began… As the train continued on he was shown more memories of his life through the years alongside highlights from his illustrious career. He felt his heart stutter at the memories alongside Seonghwa, a bittersweet taste in his mouth as the man came to mind.
Eventually the train came to a halt with the wheeze of the engine as steam exhaled from the locomotive. The passenger car door opened again and Hongjoong rose from his seat and exited the train, stepping onto a new platform. One that was also shrouded in the dense fog but this one however had a long staircase leading up somewhere. Hongjoong dusted himself off and began to climb the stairs thinking about the memories he had just seen on the train. Once at the top of the stairs he had reached an open clearing filled with tall, soft grass and flowers, a singular white gazebo sat several meters away beside a reflection pond and a willow tree. Hongjoong notices four figures sitting inside the gazebo, one dressed in all white with a silver halo of light behind its head beckoning him closer.
“Join us Hongjoong…'' an ethereal voice left the figure’s lips.
Hongjoong swallowed and walked towards the gazebo, taking a seat before the four entities.
“You must be confused.” The figure dressed in gold adorned with clocks, pocket watches and hourglasses mused as they poured themselves a cup of tea.
“Almost everyone is once they arrive, but I sense a tranquility in you we do not see often when greeting new souls.” The figure in all black with a hood concealing their face, a black mist swirling around their head mused before taking a sip of their coffee.
“I’m dead aren’t I?... This is the afterlife?...” Hongjoong asked as he sat down.
“Yes and no.” The final figure clothed in white and pink robes and long flowing white hair and striking pink eyes said.
“Yes, your life has come to a close but you have not reached your final destination so to speak… This is simply the Garden of Eternity, and we are the Spirit Council… I am Life..” The figure in all white and silver, now known as Life said.
Hongjoong quickly learned that the figure in all black was Death, the one adorned with clocks and timekeeping devices was Time and the ethereal figure clothed in white and pink tones was Love.
“Please, coffee or tea?” Love asked Hongjoong.
“Ah, coffee is fine.” Hongjoong responded, finding a sense of serenity about the entire ordeal.
“You had quite a life for your final soul cycle…” Life mused with a smile, stirring their tea.
“Fame, fortune, beloved by millions… what a way to complete your soul cycle…” Death nodded in agreement.
“You mean…” Hongjoong started curiously.
“Ah!~ How could I forget. Yes every soul has multiple lives, and you just completed your last one…” Life beamed at Hongjoong.
“Many wish to achieve everything you accomplished in this final lifetime of yours.” Time mused.
“A shame that you didn’t find your soulmate until this last life… and you didn’t even get to spend your older years with them…” Love sighed sadly.
Hongjoong stared at the entity, brows furrowed in confusion.
“I… I had a soulmate?...” Hongjoong asked, feeling as if all the air had been stolen from his lungs.
“Why of course!~ Everyone has one darling. A shame you weren’t given a fair chance with yours…” Love sighed again.
Hongjoong looked at the other Spirit Council members… They looked somber at the thought as a heavy silence filled the space. Time and Life looked to one another as if having an entire conversation in just a single glance, then shifted their gazes to Death who simply nodded.
Time cleared their throat and set their teacup down…
“Hongjoong… we find it quite unfair that you weren’t given a proper chance at love… It seems cruel to finish your soul cycle having not been able to truly share that bond of love with your soulmate…” Time spoke.
“What Time is trying to say is… if you are open to the idea… we would like to offer you the chance to begin your soul cycle again… Especially given that your soulmate did not begin their soul cycle until your last life…” Life explains.
“However, you must know that granting such a thing comes with certain ramifications and stipulations…” Time says wincing slightly.
Death sets their coffee cup down and clears their throat as they lean forwards.
“In other words you will still be tied to the connections of the lives you have already lived… However, you will acquire a sort of Soul Amnesia… it will be harder for you to pinpoint and locate your spirit guides and connections from your past lives…” Death explained.
“In other words, seeking out your soulmate has now become that much harder… and you may find yourself more… closed off emotionally in your next life.” Love explained, a downcast look painting their features.
Hongjoong stared into his cup of coffee, his mind racing a mile a minute with thoughts and weighing the pros and cons of such an offer… How many souls received such an honor to live again, especially after living a final life as exciting as his was… Would it even be worth it? He wondered as he pondered their offer… What was it like to truly experience love from the soul that you were bonded to? Hongjoong knew he couldn’t really describe or fathom the feeling if he even tried. He could imagine it for sure, he thought back on all the songs he had written in his lifetime… especially the ones he had written with him in mind… but to have that love returned? He had no idea what that felt like… and god did he want to know for once…
“Your offer…is quite the honor.” Hongjoong said breathlessly as he truly realized the gravity of such an offer.
“It would be an honor and a privilege to be given such an opportunity. I understand the ramifications that come with this, and if you are certain you would like to provide me with such an opportunity… I will graciously take it.” Hongjoong said vindictively.
Life smiled at him and hummed as they set their cup down and nodded to the other entities.
“In that case… We shall meet again when it is time for your next soul cycle…” Death mused.
“Good luck Hongjoong… May you find what you deserve quickly in this life…” Love smiled.
Life approached him and took his hands in theirs as they smiled down at him before placing a kiss on his forehead.
"As you embark on this new chapter, remember that life is like a canvas, your thoughts the brushstrokes. Every choice you make, every moment you experience, adds color and texture to your journey. Embrace it all, the good, the bad, for they are all part of the masterpiece that is your life story." Life said sagely.
“I will… Thank you…” Hongjoong said graciously with a bow.
“Now… go on and live .” Life smiled.
Time cleared their throat as Life released Hongjoong.
"As you take the first steps forward, leaving the Garden of Eternity behind, remember that this is not the end, but simply a new beginning. The experiences you've had, the lessons you've learned, all lead you to this moment. Embrace what comes next with an open heart and a curious mind. For, in this new life you are about to embark upon, you hold the power to shape it into something truly extraordinary." Time said.
Hongjoong nodded, with a final breath, he bid goodbye to the Garden of Eternity and thought about his new beginning. The memories of the past faded, like a distant dream, and the possibilities of the future stretched out ahead of him like the endless ocean. Hongjoong felt a sense of anticipation, of excitement, of hope.
The image of the landscape around him dissipated, and he stood within the dense fog alone. Hongjoong closed his eyes and took a deep breath, everything around him darkened and silenced. He opened his eyes again, spotting an illuminated doorway in the distance. He shielded his eyes as he approached the door, the bright glittering light beginning to burn his eyes. Hongjoong hesitated… he looked over his shoulder back into the dark void, his senses met only with silence and nothingness. He turned back towards the doorway, swallowing. Leaving all his past lives behind for lack of a better expression didn’t feel as simple when faced with the actuality of starting over. Hongjoong felt a myriad of excitement, anticipation, slight grief, and uncertainty. However, he thought about what the Spirit Council had said to him and he felt a sense of liberation, a sense of hope.
“I'm breaking free from all the things that held me back, from all the mistakes I made. Now I can start fresh, with a clean slate and a new beginning. This is my chance to do things differently, to be better, to be happy. And I won't waste it. I'm ready." Hongjoong thought to himself.
Honjoong squared his shoulders and nodded.
“I’m ready.” He said, and stepped through the doorframe into the light.