Chapter Text
By the time the morning announcement drilled its way through Damon’s ears; he’d barely slept a wink. Now that it was 8 am, it had officially been nine hours since the last execution. The trial had been completely debilitating, by the time Damon had finally been freed from the stand after four gruelling hours he almost wished that he was the one being executed. Almost.
It was brutal. Damon can remember that much, however the gory details were lost on him now, buried deep in his brain and might resurface again if he ever returned to normality. It’s not often you watch life fade from someone’s eyes, the guts drained from their limp body, and having that watch it twice, it can’t be good for you.
Damon stretched, the ache in his legs persisting. He mustered the effort to change into a fresh copy of his uniform, it’s not that anyone would notice his effort so the point was almost lost if it weren’t for his glaring disgust for wearing the same clothes another day. He grumbled, groaned, brushed his teeth to wash away the taste of guilt that was too easy to fall victim to. He even entertained his hairbrush to make his fading blonde hair look semi-presentable for those waiting in the dining room.
Of the people alive, ten out of twelve were there. Now with Damon, it made eleven, as he scanned the room. Besides the culprit themselves, the stand out individual in the trial was absent. Kai.
The dining room was silent so much so Damon could feel it crawling on top of him, suffocating the room as he looked at the queasy, tired, traumatised faces all looking up to their dearest leader.
“Everyone, I want to express my gratitude to you all for trying your hardest through the trial. It was exhausting, so to all of you, I’m grateful you still have faith in me.” Wolfgang stood at the head of the table taking his place as Jesus and everyone else his loyal disciples, only if Eva, sitting farther away, was Judas. She, like always, had an unreadable expression on her face. She caught sight of Damon and pursed her lips and with her leg pulled a chair for him to sit.
He took a seat beside her, not exchanging any pleasantries as neither of them wanted to be bothered by a pointless exchange and Damon was not particularly in the mood to alert the others.
“We have lost four wonderful, talented people due to our circumstances and I would like to hope this will be the last. I hope our trust doesn’t falter in the name of adversity as I know we can see this through. Just have faith, everyone.” Wolfgang put his hand on his heart, as everyone listened, some more believing than others.
“Thank you, Wolfgang. We know you’re trying your best.” Diana clapped her hands together and beamed up at him to which he returned presumably earnestly. Despite the travesty of the day before, Diana minus noticeably less touched up still was perked up.
There were other meaningless thanks addressed to saviour Wolfgang and it made Damon’s stomach churn as he couldn’t help but think by next Thursday they’d be in the same position. After that they all dispersed around, getting breakfast, morning walks and such. Dull activities to distract their brain from the looming fact that only two of the twelve are likely to ever escape.
“How long is he going to keep that up?” Damon pondered out loud, stirring the third sugar into his tea as Eva observed.
She shrugged, “It’s pointless to try and stop him unless you want to end up the next target of his shunning.” Eva paused, fiddling with her hair between her fingers, “I mean I haven’t seen any sign of Kai, no one even seemed to mention him. Maybe he’s already dead to them.”
“He did it to himself, worse than us.” Damon lamented, trying to curse away the mental image of Kai’s vivid mental breakdown during the trial. The fear in his eyes as the evidence against him piled up, “He should be here: thanking us. After all, if it weren’t for us we’d all have voted for him.” He took a sip of his tea, almost scalding but only enough to make Damon flinch.
“I never thought Wolfgang would overlook evidence as glaring as the clear framing. Kai isn’t the smartest here but he would’ve never left a bloodstained jumper in a bin at the scene. So it makes me wonder why Wolfgang was so adamant.”
“He only sees black and white.” Damon scoffed, “You’re either an evil psychopath or a perfect angel like him.” Eva clicked her tongue in a way where it was ambiguous if she agreed or not, “So as soon as he got it out of Kai that he did plan to kill, that was all he needed.”
Eva hummed, this time more in agreement, “I see your point.” She adjusted her glasses, “However, I’m honestly curious to hear Kai’s side of everything. It was all ignored pretty heavily by Wolfgang. Maybe it would also be good to see if he is still sane.”
“If you think I want to go to his room and make him think I feel bad for him. You’re definitely the ultimate fucking comedian.”
She turned on her heel, sparing another glance at Damon, “Suit yourself, I’m going to the library. I’ll see you around soon enough, after all, the next motive won’t wait for us to be ready.” With that, she was gone. Out of sight but never out of mind as every interaction with her made Damon more confused about her true intentions.
Hear Kai’s side of the story, how was that relevant when all the debating and arguing was over. He could rot in his room for all Damon could care for as long as his innocence being proven got Damon closer to being back home.
He ended up thinking too hard about it that half of the cup of tea had gone cold. He begrudgingly dumped it down the drain, joining the many plates of food in the sink huffing as he did so. As the liquid escaped down the drain, it crossed his mind that Kai couldn’t have possibly had breakfast yet or anything to drink today, and due to the hours spent debating yesterday no one had the energy nor appetite after the execution either.
“Fuck sake.”
Damon contemplated many times about turning back and this kindness isn’t something he was known for or wanted to be known for but it was just a piece of buttered toast and a coffee which Kai had offhandedly mentioned he liked if Damon recalled correctly.
The nameplate glared back at him. Why was his heart thumping so uncomfortably, I mean did it really physically hurt him to be nice. He swallowed his pride as he knocked, a coffee cup carefully balanced on the negative space of the plate.
No more dignity for Damon if he’s seen bringing an attempted murderer breakfast. He sighed yet again. Knocked another time. There is some rustling about, noise behind the door but ultimately no answer. Damon furrowed his brows, the unexplainable nervousness now manifesting into anger deep in his gut upon not even getting the courtesy of a response after all he went through. He knocked again, trying to communicate the annoyance through it.
“I told you I’m staying in my room, Diana.” Kai called back, rather than make him more angry Damon wondered if his knock really was like Diana’s. And, more importantly, Diana had come to check up on him? Damon wouldn’t have expected any less but if Diana didn’t get anywhere how was he supposed to?
“It’s not Diana.” He replied bluntly.
“D-Damon?” Kai paused and there was some more movement on the other side and Kai’s voice became more clear, indicating he had come closer, “What are you doing here? Did Diana tell you to come?”
“You think Diana could convince me to come see you?” Damon grumbled, a sarcastic knock followed, his patience wearing thin. Why was he even still trying with this inflated guy anyway? If he really wanted to he could just open the door but to spare Kai some privacy that the last motive stripped him of, he kept the door shut.
“I mean…No, but…I dunno, man.” His voice was weak, “Please…Just go.”
“I went through too much effort to just leave now. At least let me give you your breakfast.” He sighed.
“You made me breakfast? Aww, Damon. So kind.” At least he had enough personality left to flatter himself thinking that.
“Not out of kindness. I don’t want to have a trial just because Kai starved to death.” Kai laughed in response, it didn’t seem like he found it particularly funny but did so to just fill the empty silence, “This will get cold.” He added.
“Right.” Kai offered, despite trying to project some of his usual ‘charm’ , it's lost in the dull, devoid tone that they come out in. Damon heard a deep sigh that he could almost feel in his soul.
Then the door, slowly, peered open. Kai peeked his head out with some hesitation. He looked like a wreck. To put it lightly, “You should come in, you don’t want to be hanging out with me.” Kai said, pulling Damon inside.
Damon placed the toast and coffee down on the coffee table in the middle of Kai’s room. The whole place was…gaudy. Definitely fitting for how Kai presented himself. Trendy branded and stylish furniture, accented in pink and gold. Perfect for him, the Kai that expected everyone to know him, the Kai that threw all the investigating to others, the Kai that jumped ships as soon as Damon spoke the truth, the one that freaked out at the threat of exposing our ‘dark pasts’ as Tozu put it, the one that plotted and planned to murder but…the Kai in front of him? Maybe not.
His yellow eyes were devoid of their usual sparkle that made him so charismatic and probably lovable to his devoted fans in the first place. They looked heavy, a burden to all they witnessed in the past 24 hours. His hair was pretty messy and he hadn’t put a fresh jumper on since the old one got covered in blood.
Kai sat down and first took a large gulp of coffee, his eyes briefly lit up and Damon hated the way it made him glad that the Kai he had briefly got to know wasn’t completely gone, “How did you know I like three sugars?”
“I didn’t.” It was just what Damon had in his. Only by chance was it the same as Kai’s preference. His brain, cursed with knowledge, begged him to leave but his aching heart felt the need to stay.
Damon sat opposite Kai as he took slow, so…so slow bites of his toast. Even worse, he stopped after each one to take a gulp of coffee. It was mildly frustrating to watch.
“So you thought it would be the best use of your life to hide in here until…what? You have to be called to get told the next motive, we find a body, someone waltzes in on a murderous streak and kills you?” Damon queried, honest curiosity about the logic of Kai’s adamance of staying here.
But he just shrugged, eating away.
“I thought that. No purpose now.” Damon commented but winced at the harshness of his tone when Kai looked up at him with watery eyes. Did he cross the line?
“What happens to me doesn’t matter anymore.” Kai’s eyes watered and he sniffed, “Ulysses would never forgive me if I just got over it like everyone else.”
It almost caught Damon by surprise, it was the first someone said Ulysses name since the trial. He was found with a brutalised, fatal head injury. The details already escaped Damon’s head, as he raked for the mental image that he was sure he wouldn’t forget but Kai was readily able to recreate the scene within his eyes, the horror, the mourning and everything that encapsulated the situation.
“I don’t think he’d want you to throw away your life.” Damon said, “It’s pointless to make yourself an easy target and make his death meaningless. He died knowing he’d stopped you murdering, right?”
“I don’t want to think about that. You don’t need to remind me.” Kai’s eyes were overwhelmed with tears as they spilled down his face and he washed them down with more coffee, this time finishing it off, “I literally told him that I planned to kill him, that’s why I invited him to the hall and then he just said…it’s okay…Like what? What was he thinking?”
“I never got the full story. It’s not like Wolfgang would’ve let you but if you want to tell me…” He trailed off. Why exactly was Damon acting like this? He isn’t a therapist, more importantly he isn’t Kai’s friend.
“I just see him, even when I tried to sleep. Even when I was trying to…emm, refute, yeah refute you guys. I knew that it was my fault, so even if you guys found me guilty. I was responsible. In a way.”
“I’d rather have you here than a morally corrupt billionaire.”
“You said it yourself though, her talent was worth more than mine. She improved the world and what did I do? Her reasons for killing actually meant something, she needed out to better the world and I was just…selfish. She couldn’t be more different from me.”
Damon was left without an argument for once in his life. Kai was…undeniably right, Wenona was leagues more important in terms of improving the world. She fed millions and in the end it caused her to sabotage Kai in hopes she could get out. His understanding was that Kai lured Ulysses to the hall in the beta sanctuary and for whatever reason couldn’t go through with it. Kai mentioned something about Ulysses being understanding.
“He told me his secret, and told me that I could trust him with mine and that he wouldn’t write it down and he would help me so when it did get exposed if no murders happened, he’d help me. He was nice about it but…I felt so evil. For even thinking of that.” Kai continued, “It was like a fever in my whole body and that was burning with the urge to just do it. I thought about my fans and my friends and my family, and it itched and seethed but I couldn’t even move.”
It was all too real, the reality of being apart from all of the people who cared for you and trapped with people who all loathe you. Damon felt the exact way at the end of the mock trial. The eyes peering deep into his soul, targeting him, excluding him.
“He then showed me a page. It was the page in his notebook dedicated to his notes about me and he circled a part that said ‘needs to believe in himself.’ How could he be telling his killer to believe in himself? I dropped the stupid bat and I just cried on his shoulder and it was so awkward cause he’s so short and he didn’t expect it at all. It was short lived, obviously. Wenona knocked me out with that stuff. Then you figured the rest out pretty well in the trial.”
Kai finalised his story by sliding half of his toast back over to Damon with a small smile, “Thanks. I’ve not got a great appetite right now and don’t worry it’s got nothing to do with…”
“Yeah, it’s fine.” Damon fetched the cup too, placing it on top of the plate. He pinched the bridge of his nose before uttering back, “Thanks for telling me all that.”
Kai smiled, his eyes left behind in it, “You’re welcome, Damon. I hope it helps you understand what happened better…Please don’t tell Wolfgang. He doesn’t need to hear it, just let him believe that I’m evil and whatever else.”
“You clearly don’t pay attention if you think I’m going to talk to Wolfgang about anything.” Damon got to his feet and was about to get the dishes from the table when Kai haphazardly ventured around the table, meeting Damon face to face without the table to separate them.
“Thanks a lot. I really appreciate it…Really.” Kai grabbed Damon’s hands and the blonde flinched away but not enough to break from Kai’s grasp.
“Yeah, you don’t have to keep saying thanks.” Warmth spreads across his face at the sudden contact.
“Yeah, I know. One thanks was for the food and the other was for listening to me.”
Damon was let go after Kai was done thanking him, he spent the rest of his day entertaining himself to the best of his ability, spending time with Eva and even played a board game with Mark and Jett which ended in Damon getting frustrated by Jett’s ‘just joking’ cheating. Kai didn’t leave his mind and he contemplated if he should check up on again later.
“Damon! I was joking, buddy. Come back.” Jett called after Damon. He groaned. Closing the dining hall door behind him, he was met with another familiar face that he wasn’t as bothered about seeing.
“There you are, Damon. I wanted to pull you over for a quick discussion.” Wolfgang Akire, prim and proper and posture corrected as he peered down at Damon.
"About what?” He seethed.
“Erm…well, regarding Kai.” Wolfgang adjusted his tie and pulled Damon slightly away from the dining hall doors, presumably so they’d be out of Mark and Jett’s earshot. “I have some concerns about him, of course, like everyone, I want to make sure he doesn’t think murder is the only solution…or God, other ways out of here. I was wondering if you’d check up on him.”
“So you care about him but you’re not going to see him yourself?”
“Don’t think about it like that!” He raised his voice slightly, “I have occupied myself with keeping morality high here and you, “He pointed at Damon, “Can help out Kai.”
Damon wasn’t going to fall for the bullshit coming out of this guy's mouth considering his previous reputation of trying to stop killings failing twice. And previously excluding Eva and him seems to not matter when there’s an attempted murderer in need of comforting.
“Believe me, Damon, I don’t want any more murders happening. I need your cooperation to do that.”
“Right…” Damon raised an eyebrow but didn’t bother arguing against it. He’s got no right to say Wolfgang isn’t concerned for Kai but he clearly doesn’t trust the influencer enough. But will easily throw Damon in as a test. As bait.
“Well then, thank you very much, Damon. I hope this isn’t too much on your plate. Make sure Kai eats well, we don’t need any relapses of any kind.” As he makes Kai seem like a burden one last time he bows slightly and leaves Damon alone, pondering the genuine line that Wolfgang has created. Just how far this fake optimism goes, Damon has no idea.