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It started off nice. Although she would prefer without the melatonin, it was still nice.
It was the same routine every night: turn on the fan, take melatonin, put Savannah to sleep and close the windows so the cats couldn't escape (again). Penny would be lying if she said it wasn't terrifying.
What is she closed her eyes and didn't wake up? Just like the others.
It took a while, 40 minutes even with melatonin, but she finally fell asleep. It was the same dream, over and over again.
She hated it.
It started off horrible, she'd be back in her teenage years, reliving some even she did with the choir. Sometimes it was the choir's weekly hangouts at the Blackwoods, other times it would be the mandatory group study sessions at the library, organized by Ocean O'Connell Roseberg herself.
Tonight was the most common; dreams of her weekly sleepovers at Ricky's, swarmed with his 14 cats.
She hated it. She hated that she was forced to remember these, she liked it better when she was Jane Doe. When she had no clue who they were.
According to Ezra, she would sleep talk a lot after the accident. Penny didn't believe him of course; he was always talking bull. Yet here she was, the moment he came into her dreams, smiling softly at someone who wasn't there. But it felt like he was, sitting on the bed, listening to her ramble about some animal while she would crochet something for his cats, a goofy smile on his face.
Every time she dreamt this, she ended up proving Ezra right, repeating whatever she had been saying in her head.
Eventually, the dream would just turn into flashes of his face, moving like a cheesy slideshow you'd see in a business meeting. Flashes of whenever they would go to the mega mall and tease Noel at Taco Bell, when Ezra put on a very interesting puppet show for the two of them while Penny screamed at him not to. She hated remembering when he bought her a bouquet of peonies and orchids, her brain screaming at her that it was platonic (news flash, it wasn't.)
Every now and then, in the dead silence of her room, she would say his name, calling him to her. To come home. The silent tears staining her pillow.
And every night, she would wake up from the dream, sitting up in her bed when she realizes where she is. She'd just stare into space grimacing whatever her brain came up conjured up that night.
She'd end up tearing up even more, until the tears wouldn't stop and she could barely breathe, calling his name between her sobs.
She would never notice the figure standing in the darkest corner of her room, watching with a frown on his face. He wished he could just run up to her and crush her in the tightest hug of her life, telling her it will be okay. Telling her that he's been with her the entire time, ever since walked into that light in the warehouse with the others. But he couldn't move, it was like his feet were frozen in ice.
Tonight, however, could be his lucky night. The trees in front of Pennys window moved with the heavy wind, the bright moonlight illuminating her entire room. She sighed as she picked at her ruined nail polished, resting her head against the wall. In the corner of her eyes, she could see a silhouette standing in her usually dark corner, staring at her.
Ricky Potts in all his glory, still wearing that damn St. Cassian Chamber uniform, with his broken pins on his vest and ruined nail-polish that the two of them painted the day before the accident. His transparent body glowed ever so slightly, reflecting the light onto her face.
The two of them stared at each other, both equally confused. She wasn't supposed to be able to see him, and he wasn't even supposed to be here.
Penny stood up from her bed, walking towards him cautiously, bewilderment written all over her face. Ricky held up his hand, which she attempted to return, frowning as her hand went right through his. He put his hands on her shoulders, the cold touch making her shiver as she gave him a soft smile, which he happily returned.
She whispered his name in shock, a sob threatening to come out. But the moment he went to respond, the wind stopped, and the light of the full moon disappeared. The moonlit corner became dark once again, and Ricky vanished in thin air, almost as if he was never there at all. She shook her head in disappointment, the sob she was holding back echoing in her room as she waddled back to her bed, heaving for any chance of air. She passed out on her bed from lack of air shortly after.
He balled his hands into fists, he wasn't even given the chance to say hello to her. He gently walked over to her, pulling the covers over her body.