Chapter Text
Having visited the Mushroom Kingdom before (though against his will…) Spike’s interest had been piqued.
It was around 10 PM when a jingle of the pizza parlor’s door signaled Spike’s arrival.
Mario and Luigi were sitting near the back of the parlor in their usual spot, Luigi sipping on a soda while Mario was transfixed on the kill screen playthrough of Jump Man™️ that Giuseppe was in the middle of.
“Whoa, Mario!” Spike laughed, "Does your mother know that you're out this late?"
Mario shot Spike a look before sighing in frustration.
“Look, you want us to be your tour guides or not, ya big monkey?”
Spike gave Mario a little shove, nearly knocking the plumber over.
“Of course I do. Gotta know where I’m opening a new branch of the Wrecking Crew before I actually go through with it.”
“Then what are we waiting for? Let the tour begin!” Luigi chimed in excitedly.
A short journey down to level 1-2 later and they were teleported directly to the Mushroom Kingdom. Thankfully, they had better steering in their experience with Warp Pipes, so they had no problem with accidentally drifting to the wrong kingdom anymore.
Spike took a look around as he took in just where he was. Sure he’d been in this world before, but it didn’t look like this last time. The Dark Lands really lived up to their name… This place was the total opposite, looking like it came straight out of a children’s book.
Spike was totally there for it, but he wouldn’t admit this kind of thing was SUPER cool to him.
He marveled at the gigantic mushrooms towering over him, the strange round bugs that wandered by him, the bramble-legged ball that stomped by. All the usual fauna made their appearances and he was amazed. It was just like the books he read as a child, absolutely didn’t read those now, not at all.
“And we’re gonna travel in style…” Luigi said, interrupting Spike’s bewilderment and walking over to a batch of mushrooms and pushing them aside, revealing their own karts, gifts from the Jungle Kingdom as a reward for saving them from Bowser.
Not that Cranky wanted to give them any, it was their fault they got captured anyway.
None-the-less, they were allowed to make and take any karts they wanted, the Princess was sure to tip them handsomely in bananas as well, just to soften Cranky up just a bit.
With this in mind, the bros thought to make a custom kart for Spike, designed to look like his precious heavy machinery, the Gold Mantis.
“I-it’s beautiful…” He muttered under his breath as he walked near it, seeing a little symbol on the front that depicted a cartoon icon of his head on it. “Wait, did you guys get me this..?”
“That’s right Spike!” Luigi answered.
“Don’t think about it too hard.” Mario added on with a smile as he waved his hand dismissively. “Turns out being heroes comes with a couple perks.”
The three hopped into their respective karts and started their engines.
“Just follow us!” Mario shouted over the engines and Spike gave them a nod before pushing the gas and rocketing forward, nearly crashing into a large mushroom.
“GEEZ!”
“I said follow us!!” Mario laughed, “Did I forget to mention these are 200cc engines? Be careful with the gas boss!”
Spike gave him a look before the bros led the way to their first stop…
🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄
After the three raced down the dirt pathways for a little while, they soon came to Toad Town.
The bustling burg was home to hundreds of Toads, as Spike soon learned. Parking at the gate to the town, the three humans garnered as many awkward stares as they received thanks and cheerful greetings from the Toads.
Slowing them down, to Spike’s annoyance, was the frequent photo ops and quick autograph sessions.
Making their way through the town, the bros lent some coins to their old boss to let him do some souvenir shopping.
After he bought some keychains of the kingdom and his making a “MAGA Mushroom” joke that no one laughed at, Spike was led across some platforms to....
“Wh-... SO THESE BRICKS JUST FLOAT HERE THEN?” He shouted in surprise.
“Yeah that’s what I said too.” Mario replied as he ran across, followed by Luigi.
“C’mon Spike!”
“AY! I’m thinkin’ here, this is crazy! There’s not even railing to protect you!”
“Aw c’mon Spike, you ain’t scared of THIS are ya? You won’t last a minute here if this is making you second guess yourself.” Mario snarked.
“NO. I ain’t scared of this! Just…” He got down on his knees and poked at the brick block pathway, waving his hand between them to make sure nothing was holding them up. “Kiiiiinda mind-screwed right now.”
“If that’s got you, wait til you figure out the weird gravity phenomenon that this world has.” Luigi said, “That really threw me for a loop.”
Shakily, the burly man made his way across the blocks and the pipe maze began. Much like Toad did on Mario’s first trip through this area, Mario and Luigi hopped through the correct pipes, leaving Spike to bumble his way through them.
He also nearly got stuck in a clear pipe and he was sure he would have if it wasn’t for some kind of magic helping him through.
Upon reaching the final green warp pipe, he popped out next to the brothers. Looking at the castle before them, his jaw dropped.
“Now of course, we can’t take you on a tour inside the castle…” Mario started.
“But we thought the castle grounds would be interesting enough for a stop!” Luigi finished.
“You boys were right too, who would have thought I’d see a castle in this lifetime…?”
“What about the castle I found yo-”
“That didn’t happen.”
“Then who is that?” Mario pointed to a hill in the distance, a small purple head peeked through the grass before ducking down once more to try to avoid being spotted.
“Oh no… She followed me here?” Spike groaned. He didn’t realize his secret admirer had been following him for quite some time now, watching him get all hot and sweaty on the jobsite, lifting stuff with those rippling muscles… He never dreamed that she would follow him back to New York.
With a sigh he turned away, a light blush in his cheeks before brushing off the subject.
“Let’s just go.”
He turned with a huff and struggled to lift himself over the lip of the warp pipe, teleporting away while Mario and Luigi chuckled and exchanged amused glances.
🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄
The three stopped by Kinopio’s Cafe, a restaurant run by the titular Chef Kinopio.
The three ordered their personal favorite choices, Mario got a bacon cheeseburger, Luigi, a chicken sandwich, and Spike, a huge half-pounder with everything, and then drowned in BBQ sauce. After picking from the wide-selection that the menu offered, Luigi hit the service switch block to send their order in and find their seats.
“This is a pretty swanky place for it to be, ya know, built in the shape of a mushroom.” Spike said, offending a few Toads who were leaving their table behind them. “I hope the grub is half as good as it smells!”
Soon, a Toad Waitress brought their food to them with a beaming smile.
“Nice to see you again Mario, Luigi!” Her eyes fell on the bulky man sitting with them. “Ooh! Another human? Gosh more and more of you guys seem to be popping up more frequently every day!”
Mario and Luigi quirked a brow.
“You mean you’ve seen other humans here in the Mushroom Kingdom?” Luigi asked nervously.
“Yeah!” The female toad replied, “They looked a lot like you guys… N-not that you all look the same or something. Like, they were dressed like you, similar body types too, had the big mustaches…”
“That… Shouldn’t be possible, there’s guards to Level 1-2 that prevent anyone without permission to enter there.” Mario said in concern.
“T-that was an executive order from Mayor Pauline too, to prevent people from falling into the Dark Lands or worse…” Luigi gulped, “Maybe there’s more entrances to the Mushroom Kingdom..?”
Spike, who had been stuffing his face with his burger, licked the BBQ sauce off his fingers before speaking.
“That would make sense, I mean the world is a pretty big place, surely there’s more places hidden away that people just haven’t discovered yet.”
The other three nodded.
“What if these guys are trying to pose as us or something?” Luigi asked, “Ya know, give us a bad name or something?”
“HAHAHA! Who would want to steal your identity?” Spike cackled, prompting unimpressed stares from the other three. “I say you’re worryin’ too much. You shouldn’t have to play babysitter to every Joe Schmoe who wanders through a big pipe.”
“Like we’re doing for you right now Spike?” Mario smirked.
“I swear to god Mario.”
“Well I best be getting back to work.” The toad smiled and gave a wink to Spike in particular, “The name is Mihn T. by the by, it was nice to meet you Mr. Spike.”
Spike blinked as the toad happily trotted away to serve the next table, leaving Spike dumbfounded.
“Why do all the shortstacks in this world want me?” He muttered to the bros lowly, prompting all three to start laughing.
🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄⭐🍄
After finishing up their dessert of strawberry glazed cake, the three men took their leave, leaving plenty of coins as a tip.
From here, they began to return to their karts.
“Where to next boys?” Spike asked.
“We’re heading to Sarasaland.” Luigi piped up almost too excitedly.
“Let’s-a-GO!”
With that the three sped off once more…
🧄🍆🧄🍆🧄🍆🧄🍆🧄🍆🧄🍆🧄🍆🧄🍆🧄🍆🧄🍆🧄🍆🧄🍆🧄🍆🧄🍆🧄🍆🧄🍆🧄
Meanwhile, the two humans that Mihn T. mentioned earlier were watching through the bushes…
“What’re they up to?” The large one growled.
“If you’d stop badgering me maybe I’d be able to tell.” The large one but in a different way replied.
Wario huffed as the taller of the two stared through his binoculars.
“He said something about Sarasaland…” Waluigi said, his large ears picking up Luigi’s comment even at this distance.
“Then we got where they’re going, let’s tail ‘em.”
“Why do you care so much about this big guy anyway?” Waluigi asked. “Another human in The Mushroom World shouldn’t be a big deal. Diamond City is full-a them…”
Wario (im)politely ignored that question.
“Let’s just go. If they’re going to Sarasaland, they’ll probably hit up Shy Guy Bazaar first before going to see Luigi’s girlfriend.”
“She must have really low standards.” Waluigi stated, nodding. “I mean, if she’s settling for Dweebgi she has to have low standards, low self-esteem, or low intelligence. Or all three.”
“Oh come on Wah!” Wario shouted, having already wandered off mid-ramble.
“Waaaa-it for me!!”