Chapter Text
Gods his feet hurt. Astarion was unused to walking this much, well ever, he can’t be certain but cannot imagine even in his pre-vampire days he ever walked this much. The group was making their way back to a cleared-out area to set up camp for the day, they were almost there but it didn’t change the fact that Astarion was tired, hungry, and he’d still have to go out and hunt something for himself to drink later. With his tent set up, he takes off his armor and gets himself back into his camp clothes. While the others sit around the fire and eat, he slinks out into the woods to find something to prey upon.
The others; Wyll, Karlach, Shadowheart, Gale, Lae’zel, and their newest addition Halsin, were enjoying Gale’s latest meal when they watched the vampire spawn head out. “I still cannot believe we had a vampire hiding amongst our midst.” Gale says aloud and Wyll laughs “Did you seriously not know? Pallid skill, stealthy tendencies, how did you miss the long canines everytime he laughed at you, Gale? He might as well have drawn a large V on his forehead.” and Karlach laughs at that. “Just hope fangs doesn’t run into any trouble while he’s out there hunting.” she adds. “Astarion has already proven himself a worthy ally in combat despite his small build. Any trouble he finds himself in I am certain he will cut his way through.” says Lae’zel who had only recently taken to joining the others for a meal.
It has only been about a ten day since rescuing Halsin and about three more ten days since they had all met. While tension still exists it has become a more dulled tension, they ate together and protected each other, in a situation like there you had to let some trust give. “So Shadowheart is a worshiper of Shar, Astarion is a vampire, Gale is a human bomb and Wyll’s gotten his soul bound to a devil. Anyone else got a secret we should know about?” Karlach asks and the group falls quiet for a moment. “Oh come on, none of you should be acting like you are shy now.” she says a bit worried she had killed the mood. Halsin clears his throat before speaking “I would hate to ruin the night by making anyone uncomfortable but it seems we may have a long journey ahead of us. It may be wise, if you haven’t already, to discuss classifications and what should be done, if anything.” Wyll nods in agreement.
Lae’zel find her head tilting “What is this ‘classification’ you speak of? And Gale jumps at the opportunity to explain something “A classification is something you get when you become of age, give or take. Most humanoids born here fall into either, a caregiver, a little, a middle, or a neutral. Of course, for some it’s more fluid than others, I myself am neutral though I do not think myself greater for it.” Lae’zel nods her head, taking in each word, all knowledge sacred to her “So these little, they become like children, I presume?” She asks. “Correct. While physically they stay the same, they will fall into a childlike demeanor, often called a headspace. Caretakers will often fall into a protective and instinctively caring headspace.” he adds.
“Who amongst us is one of these littles? If we are to be traveling with one who needs extra protection it is imperative we know now as to not be caught off guard.” Lae’zel demands, not angry but out of concern for the group. “How sweet of you, Lae’zel, I am sure if any of our companions are littles you’ve done a wonderful job of making them feel safe.” Shadowheart says her words dripping with sarcasm. “I will make them feel safe with my blade, past that it will be one of these caretakers' jobs to provide for them. I will not shun any of you for being one of these little, you have all already proven yourself.” Lae’zel shoots back and Karlach sighs, she just wanted a little gossip amongst the group, fun secrets not this. “I am a middle but honestly, I doubt you’d even tell when I am in headspace I do sometimes fall into a caregiver headspace but again, the hells sorta messed everything up in my head.” Karlach lets out, hoping it will help if there is a little amongst them.
“I am a caregiver, though I am sure that is of no surprise” Halsin adds in. Karlach smiles, even though she cannot touch anyone she certainly wouldn’t say no from any attention regarding “Daddy Halsin” though she keeps that thought to herself. “As am I” adds Wyll. and Shadowheart adds “That makes three of us then.” though she seems almost embarrassed by the admission. “So no littles amongst us. That was a lot of worry for nothing.” She adds. “Oh, wait, Astarion. He isn’t back yet. We will have to ask him as well.” Wyll says, realizing just now they probably should have waited on him.
As if summoned by his name Astarion appears from the surrounding woods, his hair tousled slightly, a bit of blood on his face. The group instantly turns to look to him, Astarion feels himself tense “Whatever it is I didn’t do it.” he says, worried a bit they've changed their mind about traveling with a vampire. Wyll rolls his eyes, certain that isn’t true “Not why we're looking at you, Astarion. We were just having a conversation and felt you should be a part of it.” and While Astarion is almost in the group, he doesn’t let himself become part of the circle. “Well, darlings, do go on. What sort of thing are we discussing?” He purrs out casually though he can still feel himself on edge. “Classifications. We need yours” Lae’zel puts out there bluntly. His smile doesn’t fall but his mouth twitches a moment as if it might, only Wyll and Halsin catch the slight movement. “Unfortunately, this is one area in which I am quite boring. All spawn are neutral. Though did we have any big reveals while I was gone?”
“No, Karlach is a middle but everyone asides from Gale and Lae’zel is a caregiver.” Wyll summarizes. “Well then if there isn’t anything I am needed for I’ll be heading back to my tent.” Astarion says though not actually waiting for a response before he makes his way into his space. He throws himself down on the filthy, ratty blanket he has been traveling with and holds back a scream. Instead he laughs bitterly while thinking of course he would be the only little amongst the group. He could hide this however, this he could easily keep from them. He would not give them a reason to leave him behind, not before he makes it back to the city, not before he kills Cazador. Cazador only picked littles. It played so much into his ego, his title as their “Father” but that monster did not care for them. He would torment them regardless of their headspace, he would force them into regression only to punish them for it. Astarion curls in on himself, too angry to trance.
It’s not too much longer before the rest of the group goes off to either sleep or otherwise spend their time occupied alone. “Halsin, a moment if you can spare it.” Wyll says, taking the druid off the side. “Of course, how can I be of service?” Halsin responds. Wyll shifts slightly, making sure no one else is in earshot. “I may be young but I am not naive, Astarion seemed overly uncomfortable about the earlier conversation. I know he enjoys the mask he wears but I am concerned he was not being truthful.” he says. “I noticed as well. The vampire spawn appears to enjoy his secrets, perhaps feeling as if he needs to keep them. I have regrettably not gotten to know him well but it seems his master was not a kind nor forgiving one. Did you have an idea on how to proceed?” Halsin replies.
Wyll hums a moment, he honestly isn’t sure, it's part of the reason he consulted the druid. “I am unsure, I don’t even know or have reason to be suspicious. Call it intuition if you will but I doubt he will respond if provoked. If you would, perhaps just help me keep an extra eye on him?” Wyll proposes. Halsin smiles, the man before him, while still so young even for a human has the makings of a good caretaker and a good man. “I shall. You have a good heart, Wyll. LEt me know if there is anything else I can do.” The conversation ends. This is the last anyone at camp speaks of classifications for a while, feeling no need for it.
Today they are traveling through the swamp. Apparently it was decided to make a detour in order to chase down a hag. Astarion already didn’t want to be here when they came across a monster hunter, who was an obvious message from Cazador. They tried to leave without causing a scene but it didn't work out the way they wanted, they ended up killing the man. Astartion couldn’t help but lose focus after that, it brought up too many memories about Cazador. How easily his companions could have given him up to the gur, how powerless and how outnumbered he was. It made him feel small, so he steeled himself, refusing to let himself fall into a small head space.
Confronting the hag was bound not to end well, Astarion even warned of this before they traipsed through swamp muck to get here. Still, he had not expected things to go this poorly. Wyll has upset the hag greatly by calling her a monster and swearing to free the pregnant woman who she had trapped. It quickly turned into a fight before the hag turned invisible and ran off into the depths of her home. They pursued her into the horrors below, so many victims locked away by her. They knocked out the ones earring masks, clearly controlled by Ethel the hag. They finally make their way to face off against the hag- Marina locked in a cage dangling above a massive drop. Ethel whispers out a spell that Astarion was not familiar with and he fails to dodge it in time.
The spell hits him dead on but he doesn’t feel any pain, instead the only thing he can feel is fear. True, fear coursing through him, he tries to run, he tries to call out but he finds himself frozen. She goes to attack him again, the perfect target but Halsin manages to pull him out of the way. He tries to move, tries to push away Halsin and reassure him that he is actually fine. Instead his body starts shaking, he does manage to get his words out but instead of the “I’m fine, get off of me.” he is striving for “I am scared.” in a soft, meek voice, comes out instead. He swears for a moment he can hear Cazador laughing at him, calling him pathetic, it makes his body tremble even more. The fear quickly turns to paranoia, he knows Cazador is laughing at him, he knows he is going to get in trouble for being little, no one gave him permission.
Wyll casts another eldritch blast on the hag, the fight has not been easy but they have the upper hand now. She would be dead soon. His loses focus for a moment as he hears one of his companions start yelling “I’m sorry,Father” while high pitched that normal, it clearly is coming from Astarion. He glances over just a moment to see Halsin holding the spawn tight in his grasp as the spawn is doing everything it is his power to break free. “Let me go, I’m sorry. Let me go. I am sorry Father.” Wyll turns back to the hag “Shit” he mutters out, hasting himself to end the fight. It was clear whatever spell Astarion was hit with had put him into a little headspace. Just the tone of his voice gave him away. Lae’zel manages to actually deal the killing blow, slicing the hag nearly in half. Wyll trusts she got the job done and turns towards Astarion and Halsin.
Halsin had wrestled the spawn to the floor into his lap. He had Astarions arms wrapped in opposite directions and one of Halsin’s legs draped across the waist of the spawn, keeping any kicking minimized. He was speaking to Astarion, reassuring him that he was not Cazador, that he would not hurt him, though none of his words seemed to reach the other. “Don't- please, father, please. Master, please.” He's trashing as hard as he can to escape and when realized it's not working he starts leaning forward as he can and then throwing himself back into Halsin as hard as he can.
“Wyll, in my bad there is a potion of slumber, please grab it and help give it to him.” Halsin says, his focus on keep Astarion as still as possible. Wyll moves quickly, he quickly find the potion and opens it. Getting Astarion to actually take it would be the hard part. He is panicking too much, he head still Throwing back and slamming into Halsin. He apologies another to Astarion before grabbing the spawns face, he presses into his cheeks trying to open the spawns mouth. Gods, for someone not that strong he certainly is putting up a fight now. “Please, I don't want it in my mouth, father. “ and Wyll takes the unfortunate opportunity to slip the potion is, Halsin leans back and the manage to empty the entire bottle. Astarion pockets some of it, he spits onto Wyll the moment the bottle is removed before it's effects takes hold, his body going limp.
Halsin carries Astarion back to camp while Wyll and Lae'zel finish up with the hags victims. She was so angry with them for trying to save her, they may have killed the hag but today did not feel like a win. There is a rumbling of concern when they arrive back, an unconscious elf is an unwelcome sight, they simple explain that it was a result of the hag and do not elaborate further. Lae'zel not too unfamiliar With littles to know what she saw.
They bring Astarion back to Halsin's tent and Wyll joins them. They don't know how he will be when he awakens and so they both choose to keep an eye on him. He was sound asleep but the effects should wear off soon enough. He must be dreaming, Halsin thinks, Astarion has been twitching in his sleep and he looks down to realize tears have started to fall. He wipes them away gently, he has let go of the spawn mostly but keeps his head on his lap.
“I am almost sorry my suspicion was right, what a horrible way to come in head space” Wyll speaks softly not wanting to awaken the other. “The hags' magic was strong and even if we had known before it’s unlikely the situation would have been much different” Halsin reassures. They sit in silence for a while, Halsin works on a little wooden bird while Wyll reads a book. Astarion starts shifting more, small sounds escape his mouth, he sounds uncomfortable. Wyll and Halsin put down their projects and watch the spawn. His eyes shoot open and he sits himself up, fresh tears on his eyes. He looks around, clearly confused and when he registers the other two in his presence he wipes his face and puts on his best face.
He remembers being with the hag, he remembers...something bright, then he was back with Cazador? He was dreaming? No, that couldn’t be right. He shakes the thoughts away and realizes he feels, small. Gods, he needs to get out of here. “Astarion, how do you feel?” Wyll asks, keeping distance. “Hm, a bit too well rested. The hag was a bit too quick, apologies for any trouble.” He shifts and gets ready to leave. “Astarion do you remember what happened?” He stiffened, so the hag didn’t simply put him to sleep, of course he didn’t. “I’m afraid I don’t. Whatever magic she used on me though, I can assure you is out of my system.” Halsin moved a hand onto his back and he isn’t sure if he wants to lean into it or if he wants to run away. “You are unjudged by us but I need you to know that you were in a little headspace. You thought you were with Cazador and we had to give you a potion of sleep to calm you so you would not hurt yourself nor me.” Halsin shares and Astarion wishes the ground would swallow him whole there and now.
“No, you must be mistaken. It was the hags' magic.” Astarion says but he can feel his voice shaking. “We won’t tell the others if you don’t want us too but I know it was not just the Hags magic.” Wyll pushes. “You can be as you need with us, Astarion. We are not here to shun you, I do not think less of you.” the warlock adds. The vampire spawn loses the fight within, he can’t hold back the headspace and he knows they will regret asking for it but he is tired of fighting and accepts his fate. “Nuh-uh. I’m big.” he says but it’s obviously by his tone it’s not meant. “You don’t have to be right now, cub.” Halsin says and Astarion growls in frustration. “Little is bad. You're gonna make me in trouble later. You're a liar” His words are angry but his tone shakes with fear.
“Is that was Cazador does? Punish you for being little?” Wyll asks hesitantly. He isn’t trying to upset the other but he also knows he cannot help if he doesn’t know what's going on. Astarion tries to hide his face in Halsin’s chest, he nods his head. “Father, says to come out and play but then is mean when we get big again.” Halsin feels himself grow hot with anger, to hurt someone so badly that even their littlest self feels so scared, its an affront to nature, it’s a vile act. He knows he must remain calm, he knows he must be here for the spawn but his heart did not just ache it burned with a need for retribution. “Cub, you will not be punished by either of us not ever. I swear this to you.” Halsin vows and Astarion just nods but otherwise doesn’t respond.
Halsin and Wyll watch for a moment, it’s clear the vampire spawn is little but it’s unclear what the next steps should be. It’s not exactly as if they had made any preparation for littles. Though, maybe Astarion had been caring for himself at least a little. “Do you have anything in your supplies you’d like me to go get for you?” Wyll asks gently and Astarion pushes away from Halsin to look at Wyll with an excited nod. “Blanket!” He says as if it were obvious “Blanket.” he says again, as if to double assure himself. Wyll chuckles slightly at the unexpected reaction and dismisses himself to go find it. Karlach stops him on the way, clearly concerned “How is fangs holding up? Is he at least awake yet?” she asks. Wyll stops, Astarion would be upset with him but it also wouldn’t do to keep it hidden. He sighs, “Astarion is a little. He is awake but Halsin and I are caring for him at the moment.”
A smile spreads across her face “Aw, for real? I bet he's huge on the chewing, huh? Is he doing okay? Let me know if he wants to see me. I’d love to play with him sometime, I bet he’d get into some fun mischief.” for someone without a literal heart she sure seems to care the most in the group. Wyll laughs “For right now we're just trying to keep him calm. If you could just break the news to the other and for now, we'll try and not make a fuss over it.” she pouts slightly, but accepts the job. She nearly runs over to Gale whisper yelling “Gale, Gale, guess what!” and the two go off to conversate. Wyll heads into Astarions tent and frowns. He doesn’t even see a blanket at first. Instead, he sees the empty dirty bottles in a corner and half tossed stuff in bags. It takes him a moment that Astarion must be asking for the filthy ratty cloth laid over the wooden pallet. He almost brings it to gale so see if he can magically fix it but supposed he should ask first.
He takes it and brings it back into Halsin’s tent. Astarion seems a bit more relaxed and is saying something to Halsin with a serious look on his face. “An that’s how you gotta be extra sneaky cause then you can then you can catch the rats better and not be as hungry. That really true.” he says fidgeting with his hands. Halsin nods and hums with understanding “well thank you, cub for telling me. You are very smart but you don’t need to eat rats here. Look who's back.” and Astarion doesn’t look at Wyll so much as look for his blanket, a smile grows on his face when he catches it. He reaches out and makes grabbing motion and Wyll passes it to him “I hope this is what you were asking for. I didn’t see anything else.” The vampire Spawn doesn’t respond and instead moves himself off Halins lap and lays the blanket down and then lays himself on top of its stomach first. He grabs a part of the blanket and holds it in his rubbing it between his fingers while also gently rubbing his face. The action seems to be both calming and entertaining enough where he is self content.
Halsin dismisses himself, needing to stretch his legs and find something to eat, having been with Astarion since they brought him back. Wyll keeps watch, wincing slightly when Astarion brings both his thumb and the blanket to his mouth, though he supposes he won't say anything since vampires cannot get sick, even if the blanket is rather disgusting. He is just happy to see Astarion relaxed for the first time, well ever since he has known him. Wyll goes back to reading still worried to leave the other by himself but it’s clear he is not craving the attention of anyone right now.
Wyll gets a few chapters in and looks up to see Astarion is still, worryingly so. He has turned his head so Wyll can only see the back of his head and since he didn’t need to breathe and wasn’t doing so, he was truly as still as the dead. “Star? Everything alright?” He asks and gets no response back He puts his book down and shifts himself to see the spawns face, hes looking dead ahead but there is nothing but the tent wall, tears a silently streaming down his face but not a sound is being made. Wyll feels his heart clench, shit, he thinks to himself, wondering how long the other had been crying. “Star, What’s wrong? Talk to me, star.” He makes a moment to help lift Astarion up and there is slow blinking as if dazed. “Hurts” the little mumbles out.
Though not as big as Halsin, Wyll makes his best effort to hold the little one in his arms, who is still quite limp and quite heavy at the moment. “What hurts, star. I need you to show me what hurts so I can help.” Wyll coos and Astrion takes Wyll’s hand and brings it to his stomach. “Hurts” he says again. Realization is quick to down on Wyll, the spawn is hungry. He shifts the boy so they are face to face, and he brings the Spawn to his neck “I think you're hungry, Star. Go ahead a feed. I will take care of you.” He hears a whine from the spawn, it sounds scared he inhales deeply and presses close into Wyll’s neck. The warlock brings his hands to Astarion’s head, running his fingers through white curls, go ahead, you will not be punished. Cold teeth pierce Wyll’s neck to become Astarion’s first taste of a thinking creature. It’s euphoric, it’s an unbelievable high, he drinks and for the first time in two hundred years doesn’t feel scared.