Work Text:
First Kiss
As Deacon lies in his bed in Sanctuary, his mind filled with thoughts with emotions. He never thought he would trust someone enough to tell them about the UP Deathclaws and Barbara.
As he wrestles with his emotions, Deacon can’t help but wonder if letting Liam in was a mistake. The world outside Sanctuary is filled with dangers that could tear them apart at any moment. And yet, despite the risks, he found himself drawn to Liam in a way he couldn't fully understand.
Deacon couldn't shake the feeling of unease. He was afraid, afraid of losing his best friend, afraid of trusting and losing him. His affiliations with the Railroad not helping.
Deacon knew one thing for certain he couldn't push Liam away. Despite the dangers, despite the uncertainty, he couldn’t lie to himself, “I need Liam.”
“I said I wasn’t the hugging type after the big talk,” He thinks, “I don’t normally want hugs but I wanted that hug from Liam. Why?”
“Why did I lie?” Deacon thinks.
He lets out a sigh putting it down to feeling exposed and vulnerable. Baring his soul to Liam had left him feeling raw, stripped of the layers of secrecy and deception. In that moment a simple hug from Liam felt like a lifeline, a reassurance that he wasn't alone.
Instead of embracing it, Deacon had pushed it away, dismissing the offer with a remark about not being the “hugging type.” It was a defence mechanism, a way of maintaining the walls he had around his heart to protect himself.
He knows deep down that Liam would have hugged him without hesitation.
Closing his eyes, Deacon let out another sigh. Lying to Liam hurts and the thought turns his stomach. He couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. Liam had always been perceptive, able to see through his bullshit with an unnerving clarity. Deacon couldn't shake the feeling that Liam knew that he was lying.
Deacon tried to push away the overwhelming thoughts. He wanted to tell Liam the truth. But the fear of rejection, held him back.
Deacon knew he couldn't continue living a lie he’s done it for so long but he can’t with Liam. He owed it to Liam and to himself.
Taking a deep breath, Deacon made a vow to himself, “I’ll tell him tomorrow,” whatever the outcome, he would accept it knowing that he had chosen to be honest. With that firm in his heart, Deacon drifts off to sleep.
The next as Deacon stirs from his restless sleep. His first thought being, “I’m going tell Liam,” the thought of telling Liam turns his stomach but he pushes those thoughts away.
As he leaves his room, he sees the man he couldn’t stop thinking about.
"Good morning, sleep well?" Liam smiles.
"Morning," Deacon replies his voice lacking its usual warmth hoping his voice didn’t show his inner turmoil as he put on a practiced smile, “I did. What about you?” Deacon felt a pang of guilt at the realization that he was deceiving Liam once again.
Liam's eyebrows knit together at the response feeling like something is off. But said nothing. Liam shrugs casually, his gaze lingering on Deacon for a moment longer than usual, "Not too bad. Just another night in the Commonwealth, you know how it is."
Deacon nods in response.
As they went about their morning routine, Deacon couldn't shake the thought of how to tell Liam. But as the day wore on, Deacon found himself hesitating, his courage faltering, “What if Liam wouldn’t actually give him a hug and he was just being hopeful.”
Breaking him from his thoughts he hears Liam calling his name.
“Oh, yeah? What’s up?” Deacon says trying to be nonchalant.
“You seem off today. I asked if you were okay.”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Deacon says without thinking.
“Okay, if you say so,” Liam says unconvinced turning back to the piece of armour he was fixing up.
Deacon fell silent. His mind racing, searching for the right words, but all he could think about was the truth he had been hiding from Liam.
Minutes passed in silence as Deacon thought of what to say with his thoughts. Finally, he blurts out, "I lied to you."
Liam's head snaps up, surprise evident in his eyes as he turns to face Deacon, "About what?"
Deacon swallows hard, the words came out in a rush, "I’m not fine, I didn’t sleep well and I lied to you about not being the hugging type. I wanted to hug you after our talk, but I... I couldn't bring myself to admit it."
For a moment, there was silence between them as Liam processes what the spy said. to Deacon's surprise, Liam's expression softens, his eyes fill with understanding, "It's okay, I know it's not easy for you to open up like that. But I'm here for you and appreciate that you told me."
They are silent for a moment until Liam breaks it, “Did you want a hug?” he asks curiously.
"Um, yeah... I mean, if you're offering," Deacon finally stammers, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment at his uncharacteristic awkwardness.
"Of course," he chuckles, opening his arms in invitation.
Feeling apprehension and relief, Deacon steps forward, allowing himself to be taken in by the hug. In that moment as they stand there, wrapped in each other's arms, Deacon feels the walls around his heart begin to dissolve. He smiles softly into Liam's shoulder, a sense of warmth washing over him.
Deacon pulls back looking at Liam, their arms still around each other, "I could kiss you right now," Deacon jokes with gratitude.
"Then why don't you?" Liam says quietly, a playful smirk on his lips.
Deacon's heart skips a beat at Liam's response. For a moment, he's caught off guard, his mind racing with emotions. But then Deacon leans in closing the distance between them. His lips meeting Liam’s. In that moment, everything fades away the worries, the doubts, the fears. There's only the warmth of Liam's lips against his.
When they finally pull away, Deacon's heart is racing, his cheeks flushed with a mixture of nerves and exhilaration. He meets Liam's gaze, a shy smile searching for any sign of regret or discomfort, but instead finds nothing but warmth and understanding in those familiar eyes.
"That was unexpected," Liam breathes out, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
Deacon can't help but grin in response, "Yeah, but I'm glad I did it," he admits.
"Good because I am too,” Liam rubs his neck awkwardly, “I didn’t mean to say it out loud by the way,” Liam admits.
Deacon snorts, "Well, I'm glad you did. I thought about doing that for a while now."
Liam's smile widens, and he nods in agreement, "Me too.”
And in that moment, Deacon knows that he's made the right choice choosing honesty, choosing vulnerability and choosing Liam.