Chapter Text
Crowley was almost certain he was dead when he first saw him. He dropped to his knees in the gravel, already crying silent tears as he took in the sight of the angel. His angel. His skin was pale and dewy with sweat. And trembling- Oh! How horrified and relieving it was to see him trembling. Aziraphale was still alive, Crowley could still save him.
He quickly assessed him, he was bleeding profusely and ripped his waistcoat off to asses the damage only to find heavy bruising, and a few scrapes, but no bleeding. He figured it must be coming from a wound on his back, so he slowly, carefully, lifted him up to a sitting position and saw a horrible sight that made him retch and let out a pained cry.
“Fuck! Holy fuck-” He cried and almost dropped Aziraphale’s limp torso back down.
His wings-
“Angel!” Crowley moved to look at the angel’s face again trying to rouse him, “Please wake up…”
But then he thought it would be worse for him to wake up here when he’d be at the peak of his pain. So he bit down another curse and struggled to stand up before throwing the angel over his shoulder. Aziraphale was heavy, but he was almost certain the angel had lost a tremendous amount of weight.
“You’re okay… You’re going to be fine,” He kept muttering because he found that once he started talking he couldn’t quite stop. He placed him in the Bentley and let it race off all on its own.
It took an hour to get back to the bookshop and Crowley couldn’t contain his despair as he openly sobbed the whole way there. But then he hauled him into the bookshop and up to the little flat the angel had. He placed him face down on the bed and prayed he would stay unconscious for this next part. Crowley snapped his fingers and removed the rest of Aziraphale’s shirts.
His back still bled like a faucet, and the sight was one of the most terrible Crowley had ever laid his eyes on. He ran to the bathroom and vomited, groaning with the pain of it and the reality that Aziraphale’s wings were gone. Someone had cut them off.
He pulled himself together the best way he could and miracled supplies into the bedroom. He first tried to stop the bleeding by adding pressure.
“Pressure… I think that’s what stops bleeding, right angel?” He mumbled and pressed a cloth into one of the wounds harshly. Only, when he did, Aziraphale’s back arched with it and the angel woke up with a gut-wrenching scream.
“Stop! Stop stop stop…” He sobbed and Crowley immediately withdrew and laid down in front of him so the angel could see it was him.
“Angel, it’s me. It’s going to be okay-”
“Crowley, it hurts!” Aziraphale buried his face into the covers and wailed. Crowley, not knowing what else to do placed his hands on the angel’s shoulders.
“Just wait, I’m going to fix you up. I promise!” He said hurriedly and went back to the angel’s back. This time he knew it would be much worse, but he needed to stop the bleeding. So he pressed on both of the wounds and stifled a sob as he heard Aziraphale’s cries of anguish and his body thrashing around.
Please pass out… Crowley found himself hoping, but if the angel had stayed conscious this far, he’d probably never pass out.
Once the bleeding seemed to stop, he quickly wrapped bandages around him, having to maneuver his torso around a bit which still proved to be excruciating to Aziraphale. Once he was done he breathed a sigh of relief, but Aziraphale didn’t stop crying.
“Help, please-” He choked out, and Crowley’s satisfaction from stopping the bleeding dissipated.
“What can I do?” He asked trying to keep his voice steady.
“Help!” Aziraphale sobbed.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…” Crowley cried and snapped his fingers. And just like that, Aziraphale went out cold.
The demon shivered with the guilt that came with miracling his friend asleep, but he couldn’t stand to hear him cry, and this was the only way to get rid of his pain.
Now that he wasn’t so focused on the main wounds, he got a better look at Aziraphale’s other wounds. His back had lacerations all over it, though they appeared to be healing. They were from a different day then? Not to mention the various random bruises littered, well, everywhere. And once again, Crowley was left speechless and helpless on what to do. The blasted tears filled his eyes again until he was crying.
Aziraphale didn’t deserve this. No one deserved this.
No, whoever did this deserved this, and much worse. It was much easier to feel anger than the pitiful sadness he felt so he focused on his rage. When Aziraphale was better, when he told him who did this, he was going to kill them.
***
Aziraphale dreamed of horrid things while he was out, and though he knew they were only dreams he couldn’t wake himself up. He felt the lashes against his back and tried to remind himself that they weren’t real, but it didn’t help. But, before he could get to his worst nightmare, his dreams faded and he was somewhere altogether different.
He was in a grass field, the sun was shining with clouds in the distance. He could see a distant house on the hill. But, the most comforting part of the dream was that he was sitting in the grass with Crowley. His sunglasses were gone, and he looked happy.
Aziraphale looked down to see their hands entangled, and he let out a content sigh. He never could speak in his dreams, but he didn’t mind it this time. And he certainly wouldn’t mind if this dream never ended.
***
Crowley couldn’t let Aziraphale wake up too soon, so he kept him asleep. And anytime his nightmares would come back, he’d miracle good dreams for the angel. Let him think of whatever he liked best. It was almost comforting to see the angel’s unconscious smile as a result. Until he remembered the entire situation and he’d spiral again.
Nothing felt right anymore. And when Aziraphale finally woke up, he was going to be devastated, and he’d probably never be the same. That thought scared Crowley, even if he knew it wasn’t fair. His angel shouldn’t have to change.
The skies were cloudy every day, with thunderstorms at night. It all just made this whole situation feel worse. And Crowley couldn’t sleep even if he wanted to.
When had this happened? And how did Crowley not notice a change in the universe as Aziraphale was being tortured- wherever the fuck he was?
Aziraphale twitched in his sleep again and Crowley found himself snapping his fingers once more.
***
This time Aziraphale was in the bookshop with Crowley. He was sitting with his legs up on the couch, Crowley sprawled out on top of him asleep, while he read his book. This dream almost felt familiar.
But soon the dream had a strange tint over it and an itching pain made itself known on Aziraphale’s back. And as he went to scratch it, he dug his fingers deeper into his flesh. He couldn’t feel a thing. He drew his hand back to his face and stared at the red and gold blood staining and dripping from his fingers. And as he looked up Crowley was straight in front of his face, his mouth open much too wide and his eyes completely white.
He jolted awake with a cry. His ears were ringing and he couldn’t get his breath under control.
“It’s okay, it’s okay…” Crowley squeezed his hand tighter and Aziraphale realized the demon had his hand.
“Crowley?” His voice croaked.
“I’ve got you some water,” Crowley said and brought a straw up to his mouth while Aziraphale guzzled it, “There you go.”
When the water was gone, Aziraphale tried to reach for his back and was immediately stopped by a hard hand on his arm.
“Don’t.”
He knew they were gone, he was there when it happened. But he was hoping that by some miracle it was only a terrible dream. Still, he couldn’t seem to cry. He felt oddly numb and he just looked straight forward. Was he even an angel anymore without his wings?
“Aziraphale?” Crowley called him softly, and Aziraphale turned back to him, “Do you remember what happened?”
“Yes.”
Crowley only frowned deeper. The poor dear probably hoped Aziraphale had amnesia. Though, that would probably be better than this reality.
“What do you need?”
“What?”
“I know you’re in pain, in every sense of the word. So what do you need help with first?”
Aziraphale thought for a moment, trying to get back in tune with the feel of his corporation. Oh, he was very hungry.
“Do we have any food?”
***
Crowley wanted to make him a feast and feed him all of his favorite foods. But he knew that wouldn’t do the angel any good. He’d need to work up his appetite after being without food for…
Dammit, he still knows nothing. He couldn’t possibly ask Aziraphale now. He’d have to wait for the angel to tell him himself. He could wait. He could be patient.
He brought in a bowl of oatmeal and sat on the side of the bed.
“I’m not sure you’re going to be able to hold this, but do you want to try?”
Aziraphale reached up a shaky hand and attempted to grab the spoon, but he ended up just shaking all of the contents out before he even lifted it out of the bowl.
“I’ll help you…”
Crowley scooted closer and brought the spoon up for Aziraphale who hesitated at first but accepted the food. Crowley fed him as much food as the angel wanted. Which, happened to be three bowls of oatmeal. So much for working up his appetite again, but at least his stomach was satisfied.
“I need to re-wrap those bandages soon.” He announced and watched as Aziraphale zoned out for a bit before coming back to him. How much did he remember of the day Crowley found him?
“How long was I asleep?”
“Two weeks.”
Aziraphale nodded and looked down at his torso. Most of the bruises had healed by now, but the cuts needed some more time. He would have felt too naked to be seen like this in front of Crowley. But it was no use now, the demon had already seen the worst parts of him.
“How is the pain in your back?”
“Better,” Aziraphale said, not entirely lying. It still hurt terribly, but nothing like it did that first day.
“Sit up for me.”
***
Aziraphale did as he was told, however slow he was. He slung his legs over the side of the bed and waited for Crowley to unbandage him. The demon moved calmly and carefully, and Aziraphale wasn’t used to this feeling with Crowley. He’d always had a graceful walk, sure, but he’d been a bit on the clumsy side. Now, it just seemed like he was afraid he’d break the angel.
Crowley worked in silence, which Aziraphale was grateful for since he didn’t think he had anything to say.
Maybe sorry for all the shit he put him through. Damn, when had his thoughts turned to expletives? Even his brain was tainted.
He hadn’t noticed Crowley finishing up his bandages or even moving to kneel in front of him until he had his hand on the angel’s cheek.
“Still there?”
“Yes…” Aziraphale whispered.
“You can tell me anything and everything, don’t keep this inside,” Crowley looked at him with begging eyes as he placed his other hand up too to cup his face, “I won’t let you go through this alone. I won’t leave you. Do you understand?”
Aziraphale was glad for the fact he still couldn’t seem to cry as he’d probably be weeping at the demon’s kindness.
He nodded his head, too afraid to speak.