Chapter Text
The dreary weather outside and yet another rainy day - it was Kaiji's least favourite season. As the blazing summer heat fades into memory, the colder grip of autumn takes hold. He is reminded of all the things he loves about this season - the cool breeze and cosy temperatures. But just when you start to revel in the comfortable ambiance, the skies open up, and a deluge of rain pours down relentlessly, dousing the bustling city streets and washing away all traces of summer. The once-dry pavement becomes slick with puddles and mud, a stark contrast to the harsh concrete it usually is. The bustling streets become deserted as people take shelter indoors; rainy days like this are meant for staying in and finding solace in the familiar sights and sounds of home.
Kaiji finds himself torn between wanting to stay inside or going out just to escape mundane household tasks. It would be easy to use the rain as an excuse for not leaving the rented place, but ever since his body had been marked by scars, things had changed. Now, even a simple rainy day felt like a drag. On days like this, when rain poured relentlessly from morning until night, he longed for the perfect excuse to go out.
The scar on his cheek and the burn mark were bearable - permanent marks on his body that he often forgot existed. However, the base of his severed fingers was more noticeable - the skin slightly paler than the rest of his hand, with faint lines where the stitches had been. The dull ache made his fingers twitch and curl involuntarily, serving as a constant reminder of the permanent damage evident in bad weather. He yearned for the warmth of the sun and the comfort of a dry day once again. Hence, days filled with rain from morning until night were the worst; he ended up lazing around and not feeling like himself in the end.
The relentless rain pelted against the windows, resembling a waterfall cascading down the glass. The sound of its heavy drops echoed through the room, drowning out other noise. The pitter-patter of drops against the windowpane resounded, steady drumming against the roof making him feel sluggish and unmotivated. With a slight huff, Kaiji rolled under the kotatsu, the low-lying table providing just enough warmth with a blanket covering his legs. Nestling his face into a mound of unfolded clothes, their varied textures and scents mingling together in a familiar embrace, he revelled in the comfort and warmth. He knew he should be putting them into the laundry, but for now, he preferred to lounge around and watch the raindrops slide down the windowpane. They shared a washing machine with the neighbours on the first floor, but since it was outside, he had to take it all out first. He wasn't in the mood for this simple task, leaving the pile without a basket. Lazing around with his throbbing scars in the rainy weather suited him just right.
The grey clouds hung low in the sky, blocking out the sun's rays and casting a dullness over the day, the air still, almost stagnant. Despite the lack of direct sunlight, there was enough ambient light to see by, although it was dim and required effort to read. The table above was cluttered, with Kaiji having a few magazines scattered across it, their glossy covers reflecting the dim light in the room. He turned his attention to the pack of cigarettes next to them, but smoking didn't strike his fancy too right now.
Closing his eyes, he buried his head in the pile of unwashed clothes once again. They were stiff and musty, but he didn't mind. Even if he longed for a proper pillow, the mound was the closest thing he had right now. The fabric provided a comforting weight against his temples, which throbbed with a dull headache; under the weather, he only wished to daydream about some warm weather instead.
The thick, humid air to cling to his hair, for it would cause it to curl at the ends. The warmth of the breeze to brush against his cheeks, to tempt him to lean into its gentle caress. The stillness he imagined had occasional pockets of cooler air that brought relief. Maybe he should take a walk just to see the grass green, one last time before it turns muted in the mud and rain of autumn. He liked when the leaves rustled under his sneakers, and scarves were nice too. His cheeks felt warm as he nestled his face into the shirt, particularly soft to his touch; the lingering scent of his own sweat mixed with the familiar deodorant he didn't wear.
Perhaps getting takoyaki would be a good idea for the chilly weather too. The thought of biting into a piping hot takoyaki, the slightly crispy exterior giving way to a tender and flavorful centre, made his stomach growl. A hint of soy sauce and ginger lingered in his memories, making his mouth water in anticipation, never to be fulfilled. He longed to share a meal with someone, to feel connected in some small way... Perhaps he should make dinner when the dull ache subsides.
Kaiji opened his eyes just barely; only muted light accompanied by raindrops greeted him, a room smelled of stale smoke instead. The thing is... after his fingers got reattached, it didn't prevent them from getting permanently damaged. He was lucky to have them working and have a good grasp, but the feeling was just off. He often cut himself while cooking, and sometimes he'd forget how loosely he was holding something. But the sensation of feeling those differently didn't come with no gain as well.
His hand slipped under the kotatsu blanket, gently touching himself despite his barely aroused state. He wasn't particularly excited; rather, he felt dreamy, and his body responded to the pleasant thoughts in a familiar way. As his fingers didn't experience the full sensation, they managed to conjure memories of someone else's touch just right. He couldn't claim to be thinking of anyone specific, yet there was an unmistakable resemblance to a particular person in the end. He couldn't be so arrogant as to disregard his inner image resembling the familiar memory of the white hair. Maybe he was just bored-
Nonetheless, he pushed his underwear lower, just enough to reach underneath. Number joints right at the scars marking base of his fingers, he wrapped them around his length, stroking ever so lightly. There wasn't even a sigh of relief; Kaiji simply closed his eyes and surrendered to the sensation. The clothes he lay in were dirty, with his own body odour and another man's old sweat rubbing against his nose plainly. He didn't resist the urge to push a shirt that was right next to his face closer with his other hand. The one throbbing with dull pain felt as if it let the raindrops seep into the crevices of stitched scars where the fingers were reattached. He rather liked the sting of the ache, which made the act a bit more exciting in the end.
He barely hummed, his face red because he knew whose polo shirt he was hiding his face in. They were already dirty, he thought, it didn't matter. Yet the thought of using other's clothes indecently as to wipe his own crotch after he'd finish, was enough to make him feel the first pull of arousal.
Akagi would have liked to tease him for shedding tears, but he never felt the need to wipe them away before the other man. As much as he found them a sign of submission, Kaiji enjoyed their wet trails caressing his cheeks during his afterglow. After all, they soothed his red face when it got hot from the other pushing him too far. Each time they had sex, it somehow turned into an act of challenging his body instead. Not that he didn't enjoy it- but being gentle with himself through his own touch and pretending his hand numb from pain wasn't his own was also very soothing. After all, he was just another fool.
Of course, the front door's lock had to click right at the moment it started to get good. Kaiji grumbled and pulled up his sweatpants, refusing to leave his otherwise comfortable and warmed-up position. His eyes narrowed as he turned his head to face the man taking off his shoes at the front door. The entrance was shrouded in darkness, with only a faint glow from the outside lightbulb illuminating it. However, as the door shut behind him with a draft of wind, even that small source of light disappeared.
Soon Akagi stood right above him, imposing. One of his hands was busy with scratching the back of his damp from the weather outside hair; he looked at Kaiji, leering at him from tatami floors. His other hand held a large plastic bag - the takeout inside still hot, as well as a smaller one - bright convenience store logo on it. As he stepped in he intended to use the table to sit and eat, but he found Kaiji lying under the kotatsu instead. The flushed cheeks, the glare, his face buried into a pile of dirty clothes - it was obvious.
Akagi shrugged with a smirk over his face, but he didn't say anything. Putting bags over the table's edge, he sat down at the other corner. Kaiji continued to measure him with his eyes, not saying anything as well, but looking annoyed as Akagi produced a new pack of cigarettes and began to unwrap it with practised ease.
— Go on, don't let me distract you, - he said, noticing Kaiji's eyes on his every move. With a slight flick of his hand, he pushed the first cigarette's end from the pack, grasping it between his teeth and drawing it out. A tense silence hung between them, only broken by the soft click of a lighter and the satisfied exhale of a drag. Kaiji's expression remained unchanged - an intense focus on other's face as Akagi put the lighter down.
— Or you want me to help out?
— No, - Kaiji stated, voice sharp and short. He pushed his left hand under the kotatsu blanket right after, as if blatantly displaying his disregard for the other person, ignoring his presence as well.
Akagi pulled the heavy ashtray from the centre of the table, its surface marred with years of use by previous owners. He tapped his cigarette's end against its glass side, the ash falling from its end. A nicotine stick between his fingers, he took another long drag of smoke from it as his eyes didn't leave the other man. Kaiji's muscles tensed with frustration - it was considerably harder to touch yourself in the presence of another person observing you so closely. He ignored the other as much as he could; he was sitting silently after all, just smoking and watching Kaiji occasionally squirm under the blanket's cover.
His strokes became harsher on himself, deliberate but lacking restraint. Soon, sweat frickled under his dark fringe, as he tried to finish quickly in order to be left alone. A faint smell of food tickled his nose from the takeout waiting on the table, too. He wasn't sure if his mouth watered to that or due to the uncaring gaze fixed on him as he jerked off.
Kaiji pressed his face into the shirt he so desperately held in his grip; it was much harder to focus on both sensations and thoughts now that he could only feel the touch of others' eyes. Sometimes, an occasional shiver overcame his body, he squinted under the gaze. Maybe he should be greedy and ask Akagi to touch him instead- but that wouldn't expedite things. Kaiji was certain Akagi was content with leaving everything to him today. Nonetheless, it was considerably harder to reach the end when there was an expectation pushed onto you.
As another wave of shame left Kaiji gasping for breath, he reluctantly opened his eyes to see Akagi sitting across from him. The other man held his chin with the same hand that held a lit cigarette, elbow propped casually on the table. Despite his indifferent expression, a small smirk played at the corners of Akagi's eyes, giving away his smug satisfaction. Kaiji closed his eyes with an audible whimper.
He swallowed - with his mouth still dry he finally pushed himself over the edge. It was forced and didn't bring much satisfaction, yet he still covered his end with a palm so as not to dirty his clothes. He only made a few noises when coming back from his high, his voice whiny as he knew he looked kind of dumb- lying over the dirty laundry and indulging in the scent of this man's dirty shirt, as he enjoyed himself.
— You alright? - Akagi asked, lowering his hand to push some of the black hair falling over the tightly closed eyes. He tried to tuck it behind Kaiji's ear, but it didn't hold, falling back right after. He enjoyed the soft texture against his fingertips though, so he petted it a few more times.
Kaiji, still embarrassed and blushing, just barely averted to the touch. He chose one of his own shirts to wipe his soiled hand.
— Let's eat... - said Kaiji instead, pushing himself to sit up with a hand behind his back.
With a cigarette between his teeth, Akagi started taking some of the containers with food out of the bags. Placing them on the table one by one, the room filled with the smell of takeout even before Kaiji took a peek at which kitchen it was from.
— Should I put a TV on? - Akagi asked, his hand already on the remote he found next to himself. Kaiji nodded blandly, his eyes fixed on the paper container as he pushed it open. It was Chinese food today.