Chapter Text
All he could hear is the sound of the rain as it hit the ground around him. Feeling the way the rain soaked through his clothes as they clung to his frame, as had his hair as the locks stuck to his forehead. Hanging over his eyes as if trying to shield him from the reality that was facing him in that very moment.
None of this should have been happening.
He shouldn’t be feeling this way.
There should be nothing but love that was filling his heart…
Yet, all he didn’t want to be happening was.
Honestly, he wanted to scream, wanted to shout, wanted to cry…
But all he felt was nothing more than sorrow as it seemed to course throughout his entire body. Right down to the very core of his very being. His heart ached with every single beat.
He tried to open his mouth, hoping that he could voice his dismay. To say what was happening with his heart, but it would appear that no words dared to come out. Maybe he had become mute? Honestly, he didn’t know but he didn’t dare to think too long about such a thing. For, as of right now that was the last thing that he cared about.
Reaching up, he placed a hand over his shoulder, feeling the torn fabric, as well as the wound that now resided there. Despite it being a fresh wound, he felt no pain. Even the blood that stained his skin, as well as his clothes was being washed away because of the rain. Which he was at least thankful for, but… at the same time there was nothing more than a sense of dread as he wished that the weather would take something else.
The pain that was residing within his heart.
Lowering his hand, he slowly looked over his shoulder and saw a lone body lying on the ground. From a distance, it only looked like the person was just unconscious. One would suspect that they were just wounded or was merely knocked out. But he knew the truth, which was something that he wished was nothing more than a lie.
Slowly he made his way toward the body that he had known for what felt like an eternity. Yet, at the same time, the duration of them being together itself had felt too short. Far, too short for him.
As he made his way toward the body, he felt like he was being weighed down by something. Felt like something was pulling him toward the ground. Maybe his energy was starting to fade finally? The shock must be starting to ware itself off, but he kept walking forward. Needing to get to the body before he truly did collapse.
The moment he reached them, he collapsed onto his knees. His body was feeling so very heavy, as was his heart. Reaching out, he gently brushed the loose hair that hung over the person’s face. Wanting to get a clear view of the one that he loved. They looked so peaceful, it truly looked like they had truly been asleep instead of what their fate actually was.
But it didn’t stop him from trying…
“Please… wake up…”
No responds.
Breath hitching as he stared at the unmoving body. His body trembling as if everything was starting to hit him in that moment. Tears were building in his eyes before they spilled over his cheeks. “Please…” He pleaded, wishing that this was just some kind of sick and cruel joke being played toward him. Honestly, he didn’t care if this was a joke right now, not so long as his lover would just please woke up!
Yet, there was still no responds.
His heart started to hammer within his chest right then. It felt like it was breaking into shards of glass at the sight. For the body that lay upon the ground almost looked like it was losing colour. A sure sign, that there was no more life within.
Shakily, he lifted the body into his arms. Holding it as close as he could manage, pressing his own face against the shoulder of his lover. “Please, don’t leave me alone.” Came the pleading voice, soft sobs escaped him.
This was a pain that he had never felt before in his life. It was something that he didn’t think could ever top the pain he felt, when he lost his parents. But this? This was a new level that he never wanted to experience ever again. Though there was one thing that he didn’t know.
Why? Why did this have to happen? To the one that he loved above all else?
It wasn’t fair…
Wasn’t fair!
Just wasn’t bloody fair!
Gritting his teeth, his fingers digging into the back of his lover while he was trying to keep himself composed. Though it would be for nought. As he soon threw his head back, screaming at the heavens themselves. The sound of his anguish was heard across the land. Though no one would ever know the pain that he felt, for the blood of loss life, and lost love, was washed away along with his tears from the pouring rain.
It was a beautiful night to say the least. A time where people could go out, enjoy themselves after a long day of work. Or just to go out and spend some time with friends or family. Just doing whatever it was that they had planned for the night to go as they had hoped for.
People would just go out to restaurants, movies, plays or whatever caught their fancy. Sometimes there are people who even worked nights who would find a means to enjoy their lives to the fullest.
Then there are those who happen to use the nightlife as a means of following their one passion in life.
One of those people happens to be performing tonight at a slightly well-known night club. It was deep in the center of Soho; many people would go to that place for the well priced drinks. Some for the entertainment, sometimes they even liked those that would perform just to get themselves out there. Such as comedians or even just singers and the like.
There was one though, who was pretty much a one-man band that would go to this club, not just to perform. But to allow himself to have some kind of freedom from the life that he was all but forced into. Something that he felt like, was all that he could do just to have some kind of control of his own choices. Which, as sad as it was, wasn’t very often.
So here he was, standing on the stage, getting everything set up for his performance. He wore his usual attire, a black ensemble of a muscle shirt, tight fitting jeans and steeled toed combat boots. Though, no one would know that was what they were till they were being kicked by him. Then of course, there were his fingerless black gloves with metal plating over the knuckles.
Next was his long crimson hair, which was tied back with a black tie at the nape of his neck. Keeping most of the silky locks out of his face, other than a few strands framing his forehead, which for the most part hung a little over his eyes. Though, his eyes themselves were hidden by his dark sunglasses, so no one other than a select few knew what they even looked like.
But his eyes wasn’t the only thing that was unnatural about him. Far from it, for on the right side of his face, right next to his ear was a snake tattoo. It was coiled with its tail pointed toward his ear, while the head seemed to swirl about, almost seeming to make a knot of itself in a bow before its head stopped at the top of his cheek.
No one knew what it was, or even why he would get such a thing. Or at the very least, that was what they assumed. Because much like with his eyes, no one knew the truth about it other than a selective few. For this was something that no one would understand. Not unless you possessed the knowledge of the other side of things.
Looking around at his set up, the young man saw that he had the disk ready, his guitar was finally tuned, and he had the microphone set up. Breathing deeply, he knew that he needed to relax. For he had done this plenty of times already. Yet, the same time though, he knew that this would never get any easier for him. Especially with the way that he’s had to live his life thus far.
’But, I want to go through with this…’ he thought to himself with a serious look on his face.
Soon, he heard a voice on the speakers.
”Alright everyone, put your hands together for one of our regular performers, Anthony J Crowley, who will be performing one of his songs for us tonight!”
Breathing deeply, trying to calm his nerves as he secured the guitar strap over his shoulder. Wanting to make sure that he wouldn’t mess up. Having practice this many times for the past week or so. Soon, the curtains started to rise up behind him. Turning around, he looked over at the crowd and looked around for a moment. Times like these, he felt nervous but knew that he wanted to do this. Music was, after all, one of the things he got to enjoy in his life.
As his gaze swept over the crowd, he soon saw a familiar figure sitting at the bar. Making him smile a little, happy to see a friend. With that in mind, he took yet another deep breath as he picked up a remote and clicked the button. Drums and a base playing on the speakers before he started to strum away at the strings of his guitar. He was, after all a one-man band for the most part.
White shirt now red, my bloody nose
Sleepin', you're on your tippy toes
Creepin' around like no one knows
Think you're so criminal
Twisting his body side to side, allowing himself to loosen himself up a little bit. Feeling that his worries was slowly melting away. He even tipped toed on his toes a little over to the side. A smirk was on his face as he strung away at the strings of his guitar. Normally, he wouldn’t be able to handle looking at the crowd like he was right now. Though, he was able to do so because of his friend who was sitting in the crowd to support him. It also gave him something to focus on, just so he wouldn’t get stage fright.
Bruises on both my knees for you
Don't say thank you or please
I do what I want when I'm wanting to
My soul, so cynical
Normally people would think that he would have trouble playing the guitar with his gloves on. Though really, he had no problem. But that was most likely to be because he was used to wearing them when he was working. Allowing him to have a little more flexibility. That wasn’t the only thing that people would notice about him, some even were amazed at how well he sounded while singing due to his small fangs. He though believes that he sounds better with them.
So you're a tough guy
Like it really rough guy
Just can't get enough guy
Chest always so puffed guy
I'm that bad type
Make your mama sad type
Make your girlfriend mad tight
Might seduce your dad type
I'm the bad guy
Duh
He smirked as he looked over at the strings of his guitar. Music was in a sense, an escape for him. To allow him to feel like he could escape his cursed life that he was forced to live in. Because he knew what his life had in store for him. It was something that he knew that he couldn’t ever escape from. A fate that was in a way, worse than anything that anyone could ever imagine. Yet, he only did as he was told, to make his family happy, even if it made him miserable. Regardless of whether he wanted to live his own life, he knew what was expected of him. But the young man knew that this was just how fate was, and there was no escape for him. Something that he had for the most part, come to terms with.
I'm the bad guy
Closing his eyes briefly, he couldn’t help but let out a soft yet deep sigh. When he was having a moment of calm washing over him like this, sometimes he would picture something within his mind. Made him think of those dreams that he has had ever since he was a child. Never really knowing what they were but figured that they were nothing more than that. Just a child’s dream… even though they still persisted even now.
I like it when you take control
Even if you know that you don't
Own me, I'll let you play the role
I'll be your animal
Taking a few steps back, he looked over at the crowd once again. His expression almost seems to take on a sense of calm, yet he still had some kind of a creepy smile upon his face. A smile that would tell anyone that he was a man, that had no future, not of his own choices anyway. Because part of the lyrics was in a way ironic. Because he didn’t like it when someone took control of his life. But it was the way fate had dealt their cards with him.
My mommy likes to sing along with me
But she won't sing this song
If she reads all the lyrics
She'll pity the men I know
Swinging his hips from side to side, he turned his gaze back to his guitar. His eyes almost looking solemn, the only person that he could really pity was his sister. Who would have a harsher fate ahead of her. After all, because of him, she would have a huge weight upon her shoulders, something that no kid should ever have to think about. But he knew that he couldn’t blame anyone but their parents which almost made him miss a string as he played.
So you're a tough guy
Like it really rough guy
Just can't get enough guy
Chest always so puffed guy
I'm that bad type
Make your mama sad type
Make your girlfriend mad tight
Might seduce your dad type
I'm the bad guy
Duh
Stepping back up in front of the microphone, he strummed a little quicker as he looked around the crowd once again. Everyone was clapping their hands to the beat. Even saw people waving their fists into the air with smiles and cheers echoing in the room. He couldn’t help but smile at that. This was what he wanted in life, but once again it was something that would never come to be. At least, it was something that could make him happy… for now anyway.
I'm the bad guy
Duh
I'm the bad guy
Once the song came to an end, everyone clapped and cheered. He let out a soft sigh as he threw his head back. Rolling his shoulders in the process, he swore that his body was trembling, but he knew that this was normal for him. Performing, after all, was stressful to say the least. Looking back at the crowd, he grinned saying “Have a good night, everyone!” Afterwards, the curtains lowered, he started to pack up.
Normally he would just head on out after this with all of his things but right now? He needed a good strong drink. Especially since he had planned not to drive home so he had a driver coming to get him instead.
When everything was packed up and put away, other than his guitar, he made his way over to the bar to get himself a drink. As well as to see his friend. The only person that he really spoke to who wasn’t his family.
“Crowley! About time you came out here to drink with me.” Came a female’s voice.
Looking over at the bar, he saw a young woman. Someone who he had come to see as a good friend. Maybe even like a sister to him, someone that he could even confide in. Especially since she has to put up with far more than anyone else in this city. “Hey Crystal, I was hoping you’d show up. Nice to have a familiar face.” He said with a chuckle.
Crystal just laughed in return. She had long curly brown hair that hung down her back and over her shoulders. Hazel-coloured eyes looked back at him though was hidden by a pair of glasses where the frames were brown on the top, only to blend into a greenish blue at the bottom. Her pale skin was dotted with some freckles, though she also had some rosy cheeks.
To complete her outfit was a red T-shirt and black shorts with some black running shoes.
“You know I wouldn’t miss a show Crowley, after all I know how you get when you perform.” She said with a smile, before frowning at him. “You doing okay though?”
Crowley nodded his head at her, knowing what she was most likely thinking. “I’m fine, I should be okay for another few days I think.” This was how they were; it was one of the reasons why the two knew each other. Turning his gaze over to the bartender, he called out “Yo, give me a glass of scotch!”
“Coming up!”
“A Pepsi for me please.”
Crowley laughed a little before shaking his head. Leave it to her, to sit at the bar and not even drink. Of all the things that he found strange about her, that had to be the strangest of them all. Though he didn’t really question much about it.
“Why don’t you get yourself a drink Crystal?” he asked with a smile.
“Booze and I don’t really mix well Crowley.” Crystal responded to him with a smile in turn.
Once the two got their drinks, the young man let out a soft sigh of content as he felt the warmth going down his throat. It almost felt like it was trying to warm him up from the inside out though he knew that was all in his own head. But wishful thinking to say the least. Or at least, he wanted it to warm him up in ways that he doesn’t really get anywhere else. Even if he wanted to feel warmth in many ways… it was impossible.
“So, the shows seem like they are going well.” Crystal said as she sipped at her Pepsi.
“Yeah, would be better if I had other people to form a band.” Crowley mumbled before letting out a soft sigh. Then he turned to her. “You could always join me still you know?”
“You know I don’t do well performing in front of people that often. If at all for that matter.” Crystal laughed.
“Yeah, but you are a great singer.” Crowley pointed out.
The young woman just laughed a little more before sipping at her drink once again. Though, she turned back to her friend as she said “You’d have an easier time to perform if you got more people in your band you know.”
“I’m trying, but you say no most of the time. You’re the only one I can really turn to for this kind of stuff anyway. It isn’t like I could really go make friends.” Crowley pointed out.
“Crowley…” Crystal said softly.
“Please, don’t Crystal. You know why I can’t get close to other people. Hell, if I did form a band, you’d still be the first one to ask.” Crowley said with a smirk on his face.
Crystal of course, just rolled her eyes at him. It was one of the things that the two would argue about. Honestly, he knew that his friend could sing, she had a great voice. But she didn’t like having a lot of attention on her for some reason. It was one of the things that he knew about her, but never knew on the ‘why’ for that matter.
Though then again, Crystal would tend to keep people at arm’s length. But thinking back on it, so had her mother from what he could remember. He hummed softly at that memory of her mother but said nothing.
“Are you sure that you’re doing, okay? You aren’t pushing yourself, are you?” she asked with concern.
This was also something that she would do. It was one of the things that the young woman and her mother had always done when it came to his health. Crowley let out a soft sigh as he rubbed his face. With the way his job was, it was demanding yes, physically and mentally. But sometimes, also it would affect his very soul to say the least.
“I’m fine, I swear.” He mumbled before looking back at his friend. Seeing the way, her concerned hazel eyes looked at him made him want to frown in turn. Turning his gaze away from her, Crowley went on “Or at least, as fine as I can be with everything going on.” Crystal, of course, would know what he was talking about. After all, what was going on with him was the main reason why her family knew his in the first place.
But, yet again, this was something that he had come to terms with.
“Crowley… you need to do what you want in life. You only have one life, yet you let them choose what you should do. What you have to do! Why can’t you just do what you want to do for a change? This is no way to live your life.” asked Crystal with worry in her voice.
Gritting his teeth, the young man looked over at the woman next to him. Why did she keep bringing this up? There was just no point in trying to fight something that no one in his family has been able to do for years. Closing his eyes briefly, Crowley calmly said “You know, as much as I do on why I can’t Crystal. My life is nothing and it will always be nothing. Fate is cruel and even I know that it’s something you can’t fight. Even if you try to, you just can’t beat it. This is something that I’ve come to terms with, you know that.”
“Your shaking hand says otherwise.” Crystal pointed out.
He looked down at his hand that was tightly holding onto the glass. Crowley hated to admit it, but his hand was indeed trembling right now. He didn’t want to admit it though, because if he did then it would hit him far harder than it should. Letting out a soft sigh, he downed the rest of his drink before turning to stare at his friend. “I know you are concerned for me Crystal, but you really shouldn’t. Because we all know the fate of those in my family.”
“Crowley…”
“I’m gonna head out. I have to work tomorrow; got some missions I need to take care of.” Crowley said before he pulled out his wallet and threw some bills down for both his and Crystal’s drinks. “Her drink is on me tonight.” With that, he started to head on out. Grabbing his guitar in the process though he stopped for a moment when he heard his friend calling out to him.
“Please, be careful, okay? Don’t overdo it again, we don’t need you to-“
“I know, I know… I’ll try.” He calmly said before he walked out of the club and made his way home for the night.