Chapter Text
Run.
That old, all-too-familiar feeling bubbled up inside Obi-Wan as he waited outside of the Council Room, ignoring the gazes of passerbys.
Run.
Everyone probably knew what had happened by now.
Run.
He should leave…before they had a chance to hurt him, more than he already had.
Run.
He could feel one of his legs bouncing up and down, betraying his nerves, the nausea climbing up his tightening throat; it would only get worse unless he left.
Right now.
Run.
It didn’t matter that his rational mind knew that leaving now would only make him look worse in the eyes of the Council. All that mattered in this moment, was getting out here.
It was his duty to the Order and the need to see this through to the end that kept him in his seat.
Running would not make him feel better.
Running would not fix this.
Time seemed to slow to a crawl as he realised what he had to do, and what it would ultimately cost him. Just as he made that decision, the Council Room doors opened.
“They’re ready to see you now.”
Slowly, he got to his feet and entered.
It had been a few weeks since the Battle on Naboo, where his Master was grievously injured and the Sith was defeated by Obi-Wan himself. It was only due to Obi-Wan’s quick use of Force healing and the Sith’s poor aim, that Qui-Gon Jinn survived the assault…not that the man seemed to care. Almost as soon as his Master was out of the Healer’s ward, the man had spent the majority of his time with Anakin, getting him used to Temple life and kick-starting his lightsabre classes in order to make sure that the boy was not too far behind his classmates.
Not once did he acknowledge Obi-Wan.
It was part of the reason why he had made the decision that he had.
As he entered the Council Room, he could feel his heart pounding against his chest, making him feel weak and dizzy. Desperately, he prayed to the Force that he didn’t pass out before he even had a chance to speak to the council. He strode silently into the centre of the room, bowing as he reached the middle. “Masters…” he greeted, scanning the room...pausing when he caught sight of his (ex) Master, “…you wished to see me?”
Before anyone on the Council could speak, Qui-Gon took a step forward and held out his hands, as if to pull his (ex) padawan into a hug. “Obi-Wan.” he whispered, “I am so sorry…for everything.”
Before Obi-Wan could answer, he found himself interrupted by Master Plo Koon. “We are all very sorry Padawan Kenobi. We were wrong to treat you with such disdain and suspect you of drawing from the Dark Side in order to defeat the Sith.”
Obi-Wan knew that this was what they thought.
Why else would he have been treated the way that he had?
“You have shown great strength and skill whilst fighting to save your Master’s life.” Began Master Saesee Tiin, “And your resilience during these past few weeks has been exemplary.”
Master Ki-Ai-Mundi nodded in agreement, “This is the true sign of a Jedi Knight.”
Obi-Wan fought back the urge to take a step back as Master Windu spoke next. “This was actually your great trial, now we see that. We understand that the Force works in mysterious ways and because of this trial, you have become a greater Jedi than you would have otherwise.”
Obi-Wan frowned slightly, his mind flashing back to that horrible day in the Council Room when his Master cast him aside…all in favour of a newer, better model. They didn’t seem so certain about his readiness to take the trials then.
The words still echoed throughout his mind.
//I take Anakin as my Padawan learner. \\
Master Yoda stepped forward, “A Jedi Knight, you now are.”
There was silence for a minutes, as Qui-Gon stepped closer to Obi-Wan and gently tugged on his braid, “I said you were ready little one. You have made me very proud.”
Obi-Wan stared at his Master in disbelief.
It was as if the man had completely forgotten about the way he had treated him over the past weeks. He seemed to expect Obi-Wan to smile gratefully and bow down to the man’s wishes just as he had done so many times before now. He seemed to expect Obi-Wan to forgive him instantly…just like he had so many times before.
Tears filled his eyes as he tugged his braid out of Master Jinn’s light grasp and took a step back, “I’m sorry Master.” he whispered, “But I’m leaving the order. I-I can’t do this anymore.”
He quickly span around on his heel and strode out of the Council Room, pausing only to deposit his lightsaber on a nearby desk. Waves of shock and dismay followed him as Qui-Gon brushed against his mental shields, desperate to talk to him over their (nearly shattered) bond. Quickly, he strode through the corridors, ignoring the curious stares of passer-by’s as he neatly unbraided his braid, collecting the treasured beads in the palm of his hand, clutching at them so hard, that he was sure that they would leave a permanent imprint behind.
As he reached the main doors to the Jedi Temple, he felt a familiar presence come running up behind him.
“Obi-Wan, wait!” Qui-Gon cried out behind him, the man’s footsteps echoing throughout the entrance hall, “Obi-Wan! I need to speak with you!”
Hearing the desperate plea in his ex-Master’s voice, Obi-Wan slowed to a halt and waited. Slowly, he turned as the Jedi Master skidded to a halt in front of him.
“Why…” gasped the man, “…why are you doing this?!”
Obi-Wan sighed, “You heard them Master, the Council didn’t trust me, you didn’t trust me! So how can I trust myself? Trust myself not to turn to the Dark Side in the future?”
Not the entire truth, but there was no point in hurting his Ex-Master more.
Qui-Gon knew that there was something more though.
“There’s more to it than that.” The older man scoffed, “Is this because of Anakin? Are you that jealous of him, you would turn your back on the Order?!”
“I cannot lie to you Master….at first, yes. Yes, I was slightly jealous, but now I see that he is the Chosen One and I didn’t want to get in the way of that. I am grateful to all that you have taught me Mas-Qui-Gon….but I don’t want to be Knighted because I killed a man. It just doesn’t feel right.”
“The Jedi Order is your life! You can’t just throw it away like this! Obi-Wan, you are making a mistake!”
Obi-Wan sighed and turned away from his old Master, “Maybe, but I need to sort this out on my own. Without the Council….and without you.”
There was a beat of silence, before Qui-Gon spoke again, “I understand, more than you realise. I understand wanting to walk away from the order, you know about my feelings for Tahl. If she had but said the word…I would have walked away from all of this!”
“…I know.”
Qui-Gon, sensing the finality in his old padawan’s words, held out his hand in a desperate, last attempt to stop the boy from leaving, but to no avail. Sadness seeped over their almost shattered bond as Obi-Wan strode towards the steps of the Temple.
“Obi-Wan!” he called out as the last remnants of their bond faded away, “May the Force be with you!”
Obi-Wan turned his head, angled so that Qui-Gon could only see half of his face in the evening sun. The ex-padawan smiled softly, “And with you….Master. We will meet again.”
With those words, Obi-Wan walked out of sight, down the Temple stairs as Qui-Gon watched in silence. He stayed there until the sun set on the horizon and the sparkling lights of the city lit up the view.
He would see his padawan again.
He was sure of it.