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Yoo Joonghyuk does not know what to do with his life after the scenarios.
He knows that it makes sense, that in reality he did not have a life before the scenarios, it was never written.
But he remembers a life. He remembers taking care of Mia, and looking for his parents.
Sometimes, he thinks he remembers being a pro gamer, but the details get fuzzy. He can't think of a single game he ever actually played, or with what company, on what platform. It isn't something he can go back to, isn't something he would want to go back to either. He has spent long enough repeating the same thing trying to escape a situation, or fighting, while watched by an audience. He doesn't want to encourage the incarnations and constellations that have been watching him this whole time to continue to do so.
He thinks about other things he could do with his life besides jobs. Mia is practically an adult, he does not need to raise her anymore. There are no scenarios to defeat. He has learned the truth behind his parents, that being which he has none.
Oddly enough, the children are the ones who understand it the most. Just like him, they have little history or past before the scenarios, and have never really had time to consider what they wanted to do for a living besides survive. After everything they've been through, asking them if they wanted to do office work or construction or something seems stupid, and if he is around when people ask them such things he shuts them up.
Some days he feels like he's going insane. He should not miss the scenarios, he should not find himself sleeping on floors instead of beds.
But he isn't sure if he had ever slept on one to start with. He wonders how he could've possibly ever been a pro gamer before when he was written to have all this energy and strength, how it was supposed to be believed that someone like him could sit in one spot for hours. The only thing he can still enjoy is cooking, and that too is limited in its capacity if he does not want to be wasteful and avoid gawkers.
So he throws himself into saving Kim Dokja in hopes that he will be able to give him an answer on what he is supposed to do with his life. Han Sooyoung might have written him, but he was written for Kim Dokja, and no one has spent as long following his mental state, no one knows him better. If there is anyone in existence who understands what it’s like to look for a happy end they aren’t sure if it’s him.
Joonghyuk is not looking for direction, but insight into himself. He does not remember the majority of his regressions, he knows this, but Kim Dokja has seen most of them, memorized them, has seen a version of him that had hope in the scenarios ending before before turning bitter.
Joonghyuk used to resent him for consuming his life as a story. Now he only hopes to get him back and have his questions answered. Kim Dokja had fought and killed himself because he wanted to see the ending of his story, and Joonghyuk needs to know what ending he had dreamed for him.
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Sometimes, more often than not, Dokja forgets that he's a real person again who can interact with the world around him.
It scares everyone around him a lot of the time. He's gotten into a nasty habit of just passing out randomly and activating omniscient readers' viewpoint stage three. To be interacted with and spoken to, to be seen as a person, is too much. When he forgets he can talk and answer people back and they give him concerned or annoyed looks, it feels wrong, gross, overwhelming.
So he leaves and makes it so he can't be seen. He doesn't activate first person perspective even though he's being thought about almost constantly, both because it would be rude and because he specifically wants to be unknown.
From most people anyway. He doesn’t want to talk or be asked if he’s okay, but Dokja is glad, in a quiet sad sort of way, that he can at least communicate more directly with his incarnation, even if he usually forgets he can and ends up saying and sponsoring nothing.
[Your Sponsor is looking at you.]
"Kim Dokja."
Sometimes, he forgets that's his name too. If there is no one to address you, what is the point of having something to be called? Even Demon King of Salvation and Most Ancient Dream were useless, Joonghyuk being the only one to even know of his existence, but not knowing his modifier.
[Your Sponsor is looking at you.]
Joonghyuk lets out a sigh of annoyance, and Dokja is filled with fondness at the action, and a little guilt. He is glad his incarnation is less angry at him when he looks, but Joonghyuk has never been happy to be watched.
"Fool. Everyone is missing you, go back to your body. Or at the very least message them as well. You have another incarnation who would love to be bothered by you."
Oh. Right, that's directed at him.
[The Demon King of Salvation claims he was feeling overwhelmed before and that interaction with Shin Yoosung would lead to too much direct conversation and bickering between the younger incarnations!]
"Then go where nothing is happening and stop watching me."
[The Demon King of Salvation does not want to be alone again.]
[The Demon King of Salvation knows he is being confusing and apologizes.]
[You have been sponsored 200 coins.]
"Stop that, I don't need your coins."
[The Demon King of Salvation knows that it makes you uncomfortable, but wonders if he can keep watching you for a while.]
"Go back to your body. You can watch me from there the same as here.”
[The Demon King of Salvation expresses his gratitude.]
Dokja is in his body again shortly, and instead of getting to watch Joonghyk practice for a battle he will never have to fight again, is forced to comfort everyone who was worried about him.
"You need to stop doing that," Jung Heewon says "it scares everyone, especially the kids. I get that it's hard to stay present and remember where you are now that it's over, but you can't just disappear.”
[The Demon King of Salvation says he is working on it but it is difficult.]
[The Demon King of Salvation asks your forgiveness.]
"We aren’t mad, just please warn us. Dokja-ssi, do you mind if I ask when you will be okay with talking again?” Sangah asks.
[The Demon King of Salvation does not know.]
[The Demon King of Salvation is not ready for that yet.]
[The Demon King of Salvation apologizes for being a poor friend and jokes that communication is important between coworkers to keep a company running smoothly.]
Lee Hyunsung smiles hesitantly at that.
"That is the first joke Kim Dokja-ssi has told in a long time. We missed hearing those."
[The Demon King of Salvation apologizes for not being himself.]
They all let out a sigh. Progress is difficult when any mention of it makes the person who is progressing feel guilt.
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Han Sooyoung has fought very hard to get Kim Dokja back.
Despite this, she rarely sees him. She rarely sees anyone. The majority of her days are spent locked away in her room, frantically writing. If she can just keep this up, she can keep him here, she can keep him alive.
It is the middle of the night when she hears a knock on her door and refuses to open it, and then shortly after hears her door start to get kicked in and opens it so she won’t have to buy a new one.
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
The Protagonist does not answer her but simply throws her over his shoulder and starts walking off.
"Hey! Put me down!"
"Silence, it's the middle of the night."
She wants to be honorary and get louder just to spite him, or complain about hypocrisy since he was kicking down her door, but she's seen how everyone has been suffering. If any of them are sleeping, chances are it's lightly and the first time in several days. Well, except for Kim Dokja who is apparently trying to live up to the modifier Most Ancient Dream still by sleeping constantly. She can not under any circumstances risk waking anyone up.
She's carried to Joonghyuks room and thrown on the bed.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Sleep. Now." is Joonghyuks only response.
"I can do that in my own bed."
"Clearly you can't. Do I need to knock you out?"
"That can cause serious brain damage, you know."
"So you will be the same."
She lets out an offended huff but he cuts her off before she can respond.
"Sleep."
"But-"
"I'm not asking."
"Well I'm not listening. I know you haven't been going to bed either, I hear you sneak out every night. If I'm in your bed where are you sleeping?"
"The floor is fine."
"Are you stupid? I'm not dealing with you being cranky in the morning because you slept on the floor."
She thinks that he'll either send her back to her room or stubbornly stay on the floor, but with nothing more than a "fine" he gets in the bed as well.
"What the fuck is happening right now?"
"You said you aren't going to sleep if I sleep on the floor. I am in my bed and we can both monitor each other to make sure the rest of the company isn’t upset with our hours. You have no more excuses, close your eyes."
She grumbles but does so until she hears a notification.
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation is watching you.]
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation is confused by what is happening.]
"I know, right? Crazy bastard."
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation wonders if this is a new development since he left and asks about Lee Seolhwa.]
"It’s not like that, do not encourage her," Joonghyuk says "I am just making sure she doesn't die of exhaustion."
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation is grateful.]
[You have been sponsored 100 coins.]
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation is curious what incarnation Han Sooyoung has been up to.]
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation has missed Han Sooyoung.]
"Its understandable you’d be curious, I am pretty amazing."
"Debatable."
"Shut up. Anyway, I've just been.... writing. Remember you promised to be the first to read my books."
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation says he already has but will gladly read more.]
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation asks what you have been writing.]
"Do you need to discuss this in my room?" Joonghyuk asks.
"You brought this on yourself when you brought me in here knowing your little stalker would be watching."
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation protests to being called a stalker.]
"Then show up in person, coward."
It goes silent for a minute before Dokja joins them in Joonghyuks bedroom. Or well, at the door of the bedroom.
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation wonders if he can read your manuscript.]
"I don't have it with me right now, I was quite rudely ripped away from it. It's not finished yet anyway."
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation asks what the expected time frame is.]
".... I don't know how to answer that."
"It is everything we are living. Kim Dokja," Joonghyuk says "tell Han Sooyoung she is stupid and that we won't disappear again the moment I’m not narrated."
She tries very hard not to react to that.
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation is saddened by this revelation.]
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation assures incarnation Han Sooyoung that the universe has stabilized and is real now without her writing things.]
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation thanks Han Sooyoung for writing what she has for so long for him and apologizes.]
"Stop. You don't get to apologize for that. Not ever. Got it?"
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation didn't mean to be dismissive of your efforts to bring him back.]
"You need to stop writing that story. We are here, now, and I will no longer be a character. We have gotten what we wanted" Joonghyuk says.
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation agrees and is worried Han Sooyoung is writing an important story rather than living it.]
“Unlike you, who’s just watching it instead of living it?”
[……. The Constellation Demon King of Salvation is working on it.]
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation just sometimes forgets.]
“I think you’re both stupid,” Joonghyuk says.
“That’s rich coming from-“
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation thinks his incarnation isn’t entirely wrong but wishes he wouldn’t say things like that so blatantly.]
“Excuse me, just because I am keeping my mind sharp with practice-“
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation assures Han Sooyoung he prefers fantasy and other genres to historical documents and thinks that his incarnation feels the same.]
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation tells Han Sooyoung that sometimes an epilogue doesn't need to be written in its entirety and that a story can end with the characters going towards a new and better future, and that most stories end after "and then he woke up."]
She laughs at that, and barely refrains from crying.
"I've been writing this same story for so long...."
"Han Sooyoung, as the one who lived it, it is not entertaining or good."
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation is a little offended at his favorite story being talked about like that after everyone worked so hard on it together.]
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation is sure you are tired and while excited to see what you come put with next, wonders if you might want a break from writing all the time.]
"And do what instead?"
"You could help with the chores from time to time," Joonghyuk mutters and she happily ignores him.
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation thinks maybe you could read stories instead with Yoo Sangah.]
"And not with you?"
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation wouldn't want to intrude.]
"Yeah, you don't get a say in this, you're coming to the book club.
"And what should I do Kim Dokja? What was the ending you had planned for me?"
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation did not mean to exclude his incarnation, he was just unaware he was interested in reading.]
"You know that is not what I meant."
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation knows that in the 0th turn Joonghyuk got married and enjoyed helping people a lot, and that you might enjoy doing it again.]
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation only ever thought you should get to live with all your companions happily and get lots of therapy.]
"If anyone needs therapy it's you."
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation says you were the one who asked!]
"Kim Dokja. You are my companion in life and death. The ending you imagined isn't real without you in it."
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation apologizes profusely.]
"Then stay with us."
"And stop hovering at the door and get in the damn bed," Sooyoung adds.
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation is looking at his incarnation.]
Yoo Joonghyuk rolls his eyes and scoots over.
"You did not need to ask."
Dokja climbs into the bed with them stiff as a board until they both throw an arm over him.
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation is curious to see what you choose to do next.]
"We'll decide that together," she says.
"I can answer that question," Joonghyuk says.
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation is curious about your sudden revelation!]
"We all go to sleep."
"Spoil sport."
[The Constellation Demon King of Salvation is rolling his eyes at you.]
And like that, they all fall asleep together.