Chapter Text
For a couple of minutes there was a complete silence in the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry headmaster's office; even a Phoenix froze on his golden perch, waiting for a conversation to continue. But two wizards sitting by the table were silent. Dumbledore thought he said everything he wanted to already, and Severus Snape could not believe that he did not mishear, so when his shock passed, he asked again.
"Albus, you're telling me that Harry Potter must die?"
"Yes, Severus. And I repeat - he must be killed by the Dark Lord and no other. Only in this case Tom will lose a significant part of his abilities; if he even survives the destruction of his own horcrux inside the boy."
"I thought we were protecting Potter, getting him ready for the bigger battle, but turns out..."
"We protected him so he would make it to understand how much his acts are valuable to the magic world. I'm certain Harry will make everything right, but don't rush, choose the right time to tell him this truth," it looked like Dumbledore could not wait to finish the discussion of his order.
"And you, as I see, don't want to tell him about this honor yourself?" Snape was barely keeping the mask of ignorance on his face that was ready to slip off him any second. Dumbledore's cynicism and cruelty, who typically showed kindness and grace to everyone, could not fit in his head. He was used not to be considered, used to going on with Albus' orders, he was not interested in why he should act this or that way and was confident that everything he was doing served only one thing - Potter's protection, who was haunted by the Dark Lord. But Albus' neglect towards the boy's life stunned him.
"Severus, I explained very clearly - there's no need to bother the boy ahead of time; let his existence not be darkened by the knowing of what he'll need to do, as long as it's possible. But my days are numbered. My hand... How long did you say? Half a year? I don't think Tom will start something enormous before I need to leave you," Dumbledore solemnly tucked his lips - he did not want to die, but circumstances made him accept the inevitable.
"Albus, do you realize what you're asking for? You have used me, the same way as this innocent boy," Severus shook his head. He wanted to yell the throat out, but he, thankfully to years of training, kept it together. However, Merlin sees, it was very hard to do. "Turns out we were fretting over Potter's life to just, at the right time, send him to death?"
"We cannot change anything. Potter is a horcrux. While he lives the Dark Lord cannot be destroyed permanently. Stop meaningless discussions," Dumbledore's eyes sparked like welled up with unshed tears. "I'm sorry for the boy too, but we don't have an option."
"I risked my life for so many years just to spy for you," Snape squeaked his teeth, "I was getting out as much as I could, explaining to the Dark Lord why I cannot get him Potter. And you tell me that..." he gasped with a feeling of bitterness and good anger. "You have been raising Potter like a pig for slaughter! And for you, I was just a convenient performer of your will. Who you don't consider with!"
"Severus, why do you resent me so much? It's a war! And people die in it. Aren't you used to seeing death? Or... Don't tell me that you grew to care for a boy? I warned you," Dumbledore's voice trembled more than ever from the start of the dialogue, showing that he is not that ignorant to the faiths of those who were around.
"Grew to care for a boy? I brought the prophecy to the Dark Lord, as you ordered! I begged you to protect Lily - my only real friend, but you didn't! I protected the boy's life - her son - in memory of her! And now you tell me..." Severus went silent, as he knew he would get out of control.
"Stop this hysteria. Get it together. It's necessary. You are a soldier in this war, and I hope you'll do everything right, so that our effort won't be for nothing. Do you realize what will happen if the Dark Lord gets the power?" the tone of Dumbledore's voice became harsh. "I thought that your word will be enough, but now I see it won't. I need a guarantee that I don't give my life for nothing. Believe me, I value it as much as you value yours. Severus, swear that you will tell Harry about his great mission."
"I swear I will take this information to Potter," after a minute of an angry look in Dumbledore's eyes Snape gave up. He really was a great soldier in this war. Magic trembled, sending a wave of goosebumps over the body, accepting a vow. "I'm already hanged up all around with your vows like a dog in chains," unhappily said Snape, for who every vow like this was like a noose on a neck. "So this," Snape nodded to headmaster's blackened hand, "also was a horcrux, not an ancestral spell? Wasn't it? That's why I couldn't stop this curse. Have you destroyed it at least? And how many of them are there?
"Destroyed. You are exceptionally intelligent," Dumbledore deeply sighed. "I also sacrifice myself for the name of all good. You don't need to know any more about it. And hide what you know well in your memory, until the right time to tell Harry. Tom mustn't suspect anything."
"I know, I'm not a child," Snape mumbled. Without a hint he imagined what threat it may be for him to hide such an information from the Dark Lord.
"Then, I won't detain you further," the headmaster made a gesture with a hand, showing the end of their conversation.
"I will be busy on the weekend because of the service. Organize a replacement for a school watch," said Snape getting up from the armchair. He did not have a need to explain what kind of service he was talking about. Headmaster nodded in an understanding.
"I almost forgot..." Dumbledore's words stopped Snape in front of the door when he was ready to exit an office. "After Tom will be destroyed, go to the Gringotts. I left enough materials on your name, so that you will be justified if there will be lawsuits against the Death Eaters."
"If I'll live to it and I won't be killed before, either for being on the Light side, or for killing you after your own order," Snape sarcastically grunted. "But thank you for the care," his tone was lacking gratitude, because he knew - with this appreciation Dumbledore tried to soften an impression of his brutal insistence.
***
Snape was racing the hallways of Hogwarts like he was haunted by all the Dementors from Azkaban. Rare students that were hurrying up to get to common rooms before the curfew, noticing a dean of Slytherin, bounced off his way with ideal agility that was developed by months of practice - no one wanted to get in the way of his angry tirade. By the way, judging by the angry look in his eyes and the plume of raw magic that accompanied Snape - he was out of control.
Door of his personal apartment was loudly closed when Severus broke into his rooms. A series of locking, extinguishing, and protecting charms flowed with an elastic wave to the exit, safely closing the way to Snape's rooms. Magical whip, obedient to Snape's will whistled in the air over and over again hitting an old couch, making his padding to crack, and showing unattractive furniture guts.
"How long will it continue, Albus?! I can't stand you!" slightly dumping an abundance of tension, Severus fixed the damaged couch with a charm and helplessly fell on it. "Not only you made me swear that I will kill you when the time comes, you also want me to ruin Potter too! It's too much, don't you think?" he spoke like an opponent could hear him, although he was a couple of floors higher, and probably calmly drank his tea in the headmaster's office. But that is how it was easier for Snape to get on with what he recently found out. To get on with, but not accept.
"For so many years persuade me to protect the boy, and for what? So now I would send him to death? No! It's not right..." Severus wanted to cry to calm the pain and sadness of realization of another hit by fate, but he already forgot how it is - to cry, so that's why he was so angry for Dumbledore, for Voldemort, for this unlucky life, and in the end, for himself. "I told myself, don't attach..." he hit an armrest with a fist, "Why I thought that it's a trap, so I would look into the boy - son of my Lily? There's supposed to be a way out," Severus got on his legs and started walking across the room to pour out the tension, so it will not interfere with his mind. And he needs to think through a lot - there was a Potter's life at stake. "Albus just decided to go the way of the least resistance - to destroy all horcruxes, so that Riddle won't resurrect again. But to sacrifice Harry... No! I won't allow it! Not for this I gave up all my nerves, getting him out of trouble and trying to atone for my fault, which is actually not even mine. But yours Albus!" Severus looked at the ceiling like he was hoping to see a silver bearded old man, who played him like an obedient doll.
There is no denying - Dumbledore did a lot of good for the magic world, but his methods sometimes caused confusion and even horror in Snape, just like happened only an hour ago, "I know there's another way! It's useless to argue with an old man," Severus started to speak more quietly like he was scared someone would hear him, but he did not have the power to hold words coming from the inside of his heart. "Horcruxes are dark magic. Too dark for Albus to thoroughly deal with. But I don't care at this point; I am already mired in the dark too deeply because of the service for two great wizards..." Severus bitterly sighed. Usually, he could not allow himself to relax to this condition, so he would start to feel sorry for himself, but Dumbledore's statement overwhelmed him. He felt, not only used, but betrayed. "So let it not be for nothing," nearly repeated Dumbledore's words, Severus put in them another - his - meaning.
Dreams were not coming, so Snape decided to work on the Dark Lord's order. He will not brew a Cruciatus Potion at school because of ethical considerations, but nothing will bother him cooking a difficult basis in advance. It will later save him time, which could be used profitably for him and... Harry. Considering circumstances, Severus will not have a big choice - he should start looking for information from Black's library. It was the safest option, which can guarantee that rumors about topics of his interest would not get to the Dark Lord. Blacks were dark wizards and did not differ with scrupulousness. No one would be shocked if it was found out that they did not avoid ritualistic deaths.
Severus was blessed that day when Voldemort's Nagini bit Arthur Weasley. It is what made Albus to order that Snape be granted access to all of Sirius Black's library. It was necessary to find a way to save Arthur from the magic snake's venom, and the usual antidote will not work there. Dark curses can be taken off only with dark magic. So, Severus needed a couple of days to get through some works about Potions, to return Arthur to his family alive and healthy. Black then died in the Ark of Death and forgot to ban Severus' access and he already used it a couple of times when he needed specific literature. So he was almost confident that he would eventually find anything interesting on this theme. Most importantly, Albus should not find out about it and try to spanner in the works. He always was convinced in only his rightness. During a school term, there were not any meetings at the Black House; Dumbledore was content with written orders, racing school owls with notes. The owner of the mansion was Potter now, but he most likely did not have a concrete magic connection with the house - he was not a Black, and he also had not made a ritual of accepting heritage, probably limiting it to the formal confirmation of his rights. So, a chance to remain unnoticed was pretty real.
***
Black-house greeted Snape with a musty air and dirt - Kreacher had not looked after the house at all. Even a picture of a half-crazy Walburga was silent like a painted lady was scared to choke in the dust flying around rooms of this old building. Library let Snape with readiness to the secret passage like it was pleased that someone came to this adobe of wisdom. Not only that couple of pathetic bookshelves that are presented to everyone who decided to come here. No... Severus had access to all of the treasury of Black's kin knowledge. It was the second library like this that was open to him. Lucius Malfoy was also made to let Snape into the most sacred place of his manor by the Dark Lord's order. Severus was amused by this situation - two great wizards provided an opportunity to get to the truly endless source of information about dark magic.
Search went not that fast. If finding the books in which there was a mention of horcrux he could do with the help of the seeking spell, but to seek out the nuggets of the information he was looking for, he needed to get through all of the mountains of folios he chose to study. Besides, he could not leave Hogwarts without being noticed so often, and also it is forbidden to bring out anything from the ancestry library - magic could ban you from access for such a try or even hurt with a tricky Black's curse. But Severus managed to find ways - going to Black-house after the call from the Dark Lord or escaping Hogwarts for a couple of hours in the deep night.
Anyway, up to April, Severus found a slim, but a rather strong string that promised to lead him to the solution of the problem in a radically different way than the one which Dumbledore picked. Horcruxes may not be necessarily destroyed one by one, and considering some features of similar magic, there is a question - was it worth it to do it that way? The more Severus dived into the examination of the theme, the more he was certain, if Albus was not that private they would have already said goodbye to Horcruxes and the Dark Lord. Maybe, he would not even have a chance to resurrect. However, Snape was not hurrying up to talk about his results, not without reasons thinking; that stubborn old man simply will not listen to him. He persistently flipped through the pages of the ancient books and works of academics that looked for the ways to become immortal. The circle of search expanded and made him to look in other sections of magic sciences more often - from dear to heart Potions to so unloved Theory of Elementary Essence.
The closer the end of the school term was, the more clearly the question stood up before Severus - how to get Potter's trust, who he needed to hold on the distance for six years, and even use brutal methods? If now, Dumbledore with his authority made the boy stick to an acceptable frame, convincing that he should trust Snape, then after his death there will not be even a slight hope for understanding. Albus weakened, cursed a bit deeply into his body every day. He would live a month or two at most. And only on terms if Draco will not succeed - the Dark Lord ordered him to kill the headmaster. A problem not for the six-year students, even though he was learning combat magic from Bellatrix Lestrange. But no one is insured from the accidents. And Albus ordered clearly - Snape must complete the mission ordered by Voldemort to Malfoy-junior. So, the count went to days. With the becoming a murderer of Dumbledore, Snape will lose the last chance to help Potter. There was only one way out - to tell Harry about his laid-up fate now and try to convince that you can try to argue with fate and win the main prize - life .