Chapter Text
“~ Now the neighborhood's cracked and torn. ~ The kids are grown up but their lives are worn. ~ How can one little street. ~ Swallow so many lives. ~”
Your foot bounced anxiously as you sit slumped forward on the couch. You hated playing the waiting game. Because, fucking christ, it sucks. How were you suppose to sit still? And the music sure wasn’t helping… As much as you loved The Offspring, right now was not a good time for them.
You stood up and started pacing the room, unable to stay seated any longer. You were debating asking John to turn the music off. But maybe he was blaring it so loudly because it was helping him cope with the situation. Be a nice roommate, you told yourself, let him have his comfort.
As you continued to pace, you saw that there was a stack of dirty dishes sitting on your clutter coffee table. Instantly, you snatched them up and took them to the kitchen. This would give you something to do in the meantime… You turn on the water and vigorously start scrubbing the dishes clean. Calm down, calm the fuck down… But you can’t. It just wasn’t possible when your brother could have been shot… he could be dead. And you just didn’t know. And now you had to wait to hear if he was alright. Goddamnit, where was Blake?!
As if a mysterious force heard the plea inside your head, you hear the door bang open. Instantly, you drop the dishes in your hands, ignoring the loud clatter of ceramic in the sink or the fact that the water was still running. You are at the door in nearly two seconds. Blake is there, looking awfully startled that you were on him even before he could close the door behind him.
“Well??” You demand, your voice shaking.
Blake looks down, shrugging. He looks calm but he seems to be compressing a lot of the pain that you can see on his face. “Dunno, dude… I got a call from their platoon but they have no new information to report. Jack is still MIA.”
You fumble with your patch vest, trying to pull out your cell from its pocket. Cursing at how badly your fingers are shaking you try to pull up your contacts to call Walt. He’s the only other military connection you have in your circle of friends… maybe he could give you more information… because you were convinced that the marines were holding details back from you. They had to be.
Blake approached you, resting a hand on your upper arm. “Hey, hey… calm down, man. It’s going to be okay…”
You look over at him fiercely, glaring daggers into his eyes. For a brief moment you look at him… really look at him. The way he kept his mohawk slack, the torn up flannel under the patch vest, the dirty boots… this guy was a hot piece of work in your book, normally. The kind of guy that made your ovaries scream. But right now, his words have sent you into an angry fit. “How the fuck can you say that? You don’t know that its going to be okay.”
The Offspring music stops abruptly in the background.
Blake flinched away from your salty attack. A look of guilt flashed over his face before he tentatively tried again. “Yeah, but c’mon, we also don’t know for sure he’s hurt or anything… We gotta just keep our hopes up. This is Jack we’re talking about… the guy is known for getting into dicey situations, but he’s One Man Show, he always finds a way out.”
A smile tries to creep up your mouth for a moment. Ah, yes… One Man Show. A nickname that he truly earned over the years. Your bro was great at getting the spotlight, even if it was the wrong crowd. And, yes, he was also pretty crafty at using his charisma to get out of a tight situation. But this has never happened before. Not in all the years he had served in the Marines has an accident like this come up. And that’s why you were literally freaking the fuck out.
Fuck, Fuck, FUCK! You drop your phone and curse wildly at yourself. Why won’t your goddamn hands stop shaking?
At this point, John has come in to check in with his two roommates. You don’t even have to see that he’s there, the creaking wooden floors under his dense mass gives him away. You glance up, a bit embarrassed that he’s seeing you losing your cool.
“Hey, what’s up..?” You can tell he’s trying to take this situation nonchalantly, but it only pisses you off more.
“No word about Jack….” Blake sighs.
“I’m gonna call Walt.” You finally say, recovering your phone in your hands. The number is dialing…
…
…
But no one picked up.
You bite down on your lip. This fucked up situation feels so helpless.
“What is there left to do?!” You declare, throwing up your arms impatiently. “I can’t sit around here and wait; it’s driving me nuts!” With that, you march out of the entrance hall way.
You don’t care if your roommates are giving you a worried look, you have the right to be on your last nerve. Your brother is out there and something really horrible could have happened to him. So you would freak out all the fuck you want, thank you. You yank the scarf hanging up on your coat rack off as you pass it and stride into the bathroom, slamming it shut behind you.
I’m gonna piss and get the fuck outta here… I’ll go for a walk or something… shit, I dunno…
“Dude?” Blake's voice can be heard behind the bathroom door.
“Go away, I’m pissing.” You snarl. You hate talking to people through doors on the toilet… its awkward.
“Okay, man… it's just you are worrying me and John.”
You huff dramatically. “It’s Jack you should be worrying about, not me!”
“I know, and I am. Believe me. The dude is our good friend and we want him to be okay. But freaking out isn’t gonna help, man…”
You flush the toilet with such force, the handle almost seems to give under the pressure of your boot knocking it down. You start scrubbing your hands viciously, feeling anger bubble in your gut. Quickly, you glance up in the dirty mirror and ruffle your mangy mohawk around a bit. Your dark eyes narrow for a sec before you turn and thrust the door open. “Blake, I can’t help it. I’m worried about my brother! So sorry if I have no fucking self control right now.”
You storm passed both John and him, briefly noticing John was doing his normal thing of stroking is long, ginger beard; a nervous tick he did under stressful situations. Whatever, you don’t care right now, you are aiming for the door. You want out of this house.
You stop in your tracks with a jolt when Blake grabs ahold of your arm. He is glaring at you seriously now. “Hey, dude. C’mon. You aren’t going out there alone like this.”
“I just want out of the house for a lil while, okay?” His confidence has already starting to whittle down your temper. Damn, he had such a strange power over you…
“Well then we’ll go somewhere. I’ll drive.” He offers, pulling his keys out of the back of his jean pockets.
You hesitate, still fuming a bit. Part of you just wants to be alone. But hell, that usually never ends well, knowing your history. Panic attacks and anxiety prayed on you when you were away from the herd…
“Okay.” You say in a low voice.
John looks from Blake to you and back. You see in his face that he’s trying to decide if he should join, but then you see him make up his mind when he looks down at the fact that he is only in slacks, socks and a black jacket full of holes. “I guess I’ll wait here, in case someone comes by.” He says, slinking back into his room. Shortly after, the music comes back, shaking the floor with its massive volume. Blake pats you on the back. “Let’s go.”
You both step out into the cool, autumn night. The biting breeze makes you shudder for a second.
Blake unlocks the car doors and hops into the drivers seat. You smirk a bit to yourself, seeing him adjust the the seat again so he can see. What a shorty. But you were one to talk, being practically the same height. As you climb into the passenger seat, Blake turns to you with the softest expression you’ve seen on his face in weeks. “Hey..” He says gently. This was the side of him only you got to see; when it was just the two of you.
“Hey.” You sigh back, almost weakly.
“You alright?” He asks, and you know he’s asking deeper than just the worries of Jack.
“Heh… ‘course not.” You say, not meeting his gaze this time.
“C’mere…” He whispers, almost in a cooing tone. You turn to him just as he reaches out and brushes the sides of your cheeks with his fingers. He starts to pull you toward him, and instinctually, you lean forward to embrace him in a long kiss. Before pulling away, he gives a soft nip to your lower lip and another sigh escapes your lips. After seeing the look of frustration melt away from your face, he grins at you.
“It’s gonna be alright. I am confident in Jack.” Blake then starts the car, still looking you over carefully.
You shrug a bit, not wanting to fully agree with him, but part of you knows that Blake has a hunch about these things most of the time. He was able to predict if something would turn out alright. It’s a weird six sense of his… much like how he also got weird chills through his body when he knew something bad would happen. Hence the nickname your circle of friends gave him; Captain Shivers.
“Hey, I got an idea.” Blake says, changing the subject as the car starts moving down the street. “Why don’t we all go camping sometime? Like next week? It could be a big Hoodrat road trip.” He grins stupidly. It’s kinda cute.
“All of us? You want to take everyone?” You ask, sorta smiling at the idea. It’s been ages since the whole group did something big together.
“Sure, why not? We’ll just have to car pool. We can take my car, and Noah's and Walt’s. Should be enough space. Maybe we’ll take John’s… but that car is scary to drive.”
“Haha, yeah.” You chuckle. When was he ever going to put more steering fluid in that fucking thing? “But where do you wanna go?”
Blake falls silent for a moment as the car leaves the neighborhood. He’s focusing on the road but also thinking. “Ah, how about that sight over in the mountains?”
“Oh, you mean Mt. Ebott? Oh yeah, I’ve been wanting to check it out for a while now.” Nature was fucking awesome. There was never a bad time to go have a good ol’ fashion adventure in the outdoors. And the rumors and ghost stories that you heard about the place… did they scare you? Fuck no, if anything, that kind of shit attracted you and your group of friends. It was exciting.
“Hey, could we drive there tonight?” You ask, a smile creeping up your face.
“Ah, c’mon man, nah… that’d be almost a 2 hour drive. Let’s save it for later, and we can bring everyone else.”
You pout a bit, but nod. Would be a long trip to start at night…
Blake suddenly pulls over and you glance out the window to see where he brought you. The park. And not just any park, but the place in which many shenanigans and hood-rattery have taken place among you and your friends. This park has been through a lot of your group’s mischief… once you guys spray painted stupid messages up on the building’s roof (which lasted up there for ages before someone noticed it), then a few times you had drunken games of leap frog on the playscape. To top it off both Jack and Noah got plastered one night and urinated down the slides. Together. Side by side. Laughing like a bunch of lunatics. You and your friends never touched those slides again. They were forever tainted by One Man Show and Ruckus (respectfully, Noah's nickname). Luckily, this park was so out of the way and in a poor-college student neighborhood that the cops usually wouldn’t bother you here. So your friends and you could be the hooligans that you truly were with out a care in the world.
Blake got out of the car, and you joined him in crossing the street to escape out of the streetlights and into the protection of the dark trees in the park. You both walked passed the playscape and went straight for the hilltop. A good choice. Chill moments were had up there. He sat down on the patch of grass and patted it next to him. You sat down.
“Feel any better?” He asked.
“A lil.” You admit. He really had this unexplainable way of getting you to calm down.
“Yeah, good. I bet we’ll hear some good news in a few and we won’t have to worry anymore.” He says leaning his shoulder against you.
“I fucking hope so.” You say, looking down.
He looks at you for a moment. “Would this help at all?” He gives your neck a soft nip.
You giggle a bit. It tickles. “Heh.” You can’t help but smile.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to shrug off your feelings.” He says tentatively.
“I know, man, I know. You know how I work.” You give him a playful grin. He really does. Sexy teasing really did help you take your mind off of shit. And you loved it. Especially when he did it to you. God, you craved that mischievous toying…
“Hey, Blake.” You start, a thought coming to mind. “Why are we still hiding this from the rest of the group?”
He gives you a hesitant look.
“You know, this. What we’re doing. Fooling around and what not.” You add.
“Well, guess its cuz we aren’t dating anymore. We haven’t for a while now.” He says quietly.
“Yeah. But we broke up cuz I was going to school in another state. Now I’m back. Why do we gotta hide it still? Everyone already knows we still have a thing going.”
Blake looks a bit uncomfortable. Here we go again…
There was a part of you that already knew what he was gonna say. He was scared to commit again. Not because he didn’t like you. He definitely liked you. A lot. You’re probably the only person he’s fully opened up to. It was more this complicated matter that he wasn’t sure if he’d be sticking around this town for much longer. He was studying to be an Anthropologist. And that meant he needed to travel to other countries to study different people and cultures. Plus, you just moved back here but who knows if your career path carried you away again?
“I just don’t want us to get attached to the idea and then we get split apart again…” He mumbles.
You nod slowly. You hate the idea too. And those possibilities were too high. You swallow hard. Yet another awful fucking thing you don’t want to be thinking about right now…
“Forget about it.” You say, waving your hand in front of your face. “It’s dumb I said it.”
“Nah, it’s not dumb. But it does worry me that you bring it up a lot.” He’s searching for your eyes, but you refuse to look back at him; you don’t want him to read your thoughts. “It’s almost like you are already getting attached again. I don’t wanna hurt you again.”
“You aren’t gonna hurt me again.” You finally say, giving him a confident wink. It’s the best you can fake. “No matter what, we’d promise we’d stay friends. Cuz you’re the bestest friend I’ve ever had, and I’m not gonna loose that cuz of some petty emotions.”
He sighs, watching you carefully to see if he can take your word. He then nods, accepting it as truth for now.
You rest your head down on his shoulder and let yourself go limp. “Thanks for taking me out of the house, man.”
“No problem, mango.” Mango… Mang… Man…. they were all the same term.
He wraps an arm around you and stares up at the cloudy sky. “Let’s just hope they get us that good news soon.”