Chapter Text
He notices the changes, however subtle they may be, almost instantly. Before John, it might've been weeks before he paid enough attention to notice, probably not until the changes were so prominent that Sherlock couldn't not notice them. But After John, he's so in tune with his body and the ways that it reacts to John that he notices long before anyone else could.
Sherlock stands, stark naked, in front of the bathroom mirror and examines his stomach. It's still a little less than flat, slightly concave in spite of John's best efforts to "feed him up", with no physical evidence. He doesn't know much about this sort of thing but he suspects it won't stay that way for long. Being tall and slender will actually work against him this time; any weight gain in his stomach will be noticeable before long and that's provided his scent doesn't change first. That means he won't have long to hide it and figure out what to do.
His mind spins uselessly, like a gear that doesn't have enough oil. Normally this means he needs more data but in this case Sherlock has all the data necessary. For once in his life, he wishes that he didn't. It all comes down to two facts that don't work with each other. Two facts that are going to split his life apart.
Fact: Sherlock Holmes is pregnant.
Fact: John Watson doesn't want children.
He and John had this discussion back when they first mated. John had been adamant that having children was out of the question. He'd said it with that fondly exasperated look he wore so often around Sherlock but there was no denying that he was very serious about not having kids. And knowing John, he hasn't changed his mind about it in the past two years, which means that Sherlock is... is...
Well. He's not quite sure what he's going to do.
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It happened after one of those cases that are so endless that eventually they cross the line from fun to frustrating. Sherlock was exhausted from almost two weeks straight of little sleep and food. His body was running on empty and that’s his excuse, because normally he always remembers to take his birth control pills. They’re so important that not even a case supersedes them, but in this case he honestly can’t recall if he took the pills during those past few days or not. They’re a blur to him, mostly, and he hasn’t told anyone but he doesn’t even remember how he solved the case. The clearest memory he has of that last day is of being carried up the stairs by an equally-exhausted John and being put to bed.
Of course, the next night when they’d both woken up Sherlock had been in heat.
And now, four weeks later...
Sherlock frowns into the mirror and aggressively grabs his clothing, dressing quickly. His hands are shaking but he pretends not to notice. What will John do when he finds out? Insist that Sherlock get an abortion? Put the child up for adoption? Or leave? None of those three options sounds enticing but that’s what he has to work with.
Option 1: John’s a medical man, yes, but Sherlock can’t imagine that he would want to personally make that decision about a child. Of course Sherlock could go out and do it before John finds out. That would solve the problem entirely, really, as long as he makes sure that he’s careful about taking his birth control from now on. But Sherlock’s not sure he could do it. His instinct to protect is already kicking in and he wants to keep this child, this product of him-and-John, safe at all costs.
Conclusion: Not a viable option.
Option 2: Adoption. John could go for this one, possibly. Sherlock knows that John’s sister, Harry, and her mate Clara have been having difficulty conceiving. John might even suggest the baby go to them. Now that Harry doesn’t drink anymore, she would be a good mother, no doubt. The baby would be close enough for them to see on occasion but he and John wouldn’t have to worry about it. But again, Sherlock’s not sure he could do it. He’s not even sure if he likes babies but... but. This is a little him-and-John and Sherlock wants to see it grow up and not as the distant uncle.
Conclusion: Not a viable option.
Option 3: John leaves.
He pauses in playing his violin and feels genuinely sick at the idea. It’s a good thing John is out because he would’ve been quite concerned at seeing that expression on his omega’s face. The problem is John leaving makes the most sense. For all of the things John puts up with, what he gets in return is little by comparison and Sherlock’s always had this hidden fear that someday John might come to his senses and leave. He could still help on the cases without being mated to Sherlock, after all. All of the data supports the fact that this, this little him-and-John that Sherlock so wants to protect, is going to be the thing that pushes John over the edge.
Conclusion: Sherlock will have driven away the one man who he thought might actually stay.