Work Text:
Hanukkah was over. Christmas had come and gone. The holidays were mostly a memory now. And the frogs were still fighting.
Well, Nursey and Dex were fighting, to be exact. Their frosty scowls were so chilling they could empty a room of fully grown hockey boys but a certain goalie was usually left in the middle, not wanting to take sides. Every time the bickering restarted, Chowder would raise a thoroughly chewed nail to his mouth and absent-mindedly start biting at the cuticle again.
They'd chirp each other until their glances became glares. Next came the recriminations (at which point everyone would find reasons to leave the room). Then, after five solid minutes of yelling, the Haus would suddenly descend into silence. Creeping down the stairs to peer into the living room, the sweetest human being on earth-- Chris Chow-- would discover that they'd suddenly disappeared.
There was no public making up, no announcement or apologies.
An hour or so would pass and they'd start noticing Dex and Nursey around the house again. Derek on the gross couch scratching his head while reading a novel; Will in the kitchen, squinting at an assignment on his computer and vacuuming up a plate of cookies. But no one ever questioned them when they returned. No one wanted to start the fighting again.
And Chowder, yeah. He was in the middle of this.
"Uh, hey Nursey," Chowder began quietly as he crept into the kitchen, "Are you feeling okay?"
Nursey was busy making a peanut butter sandwich with Bitty's orange-cranberry bread.
"Yo C! What's the haps? You going to try snowshoeing with us later?"
Chowder started slicing the loaf (goalies were always hungry, his mom liked to say) as he gingerly broached his question again.
"Um, not sure. I was actually just wondering if everything was okay with you. You seemed upset earlier?"
Nursey was sitting at the kitchen table with his cheeks so full of sandwich, he was unable to respond. He raised his eyebrows questioningly.
"Uh because," Chowder used the opportunity to further his conversation.
"I'm asking because like, I don't want to get involved. I really don't. But it seems like you and um..." he gulped, not wanting to cause stress by bring up Dex unless absolutely necessary, "you're both going through a lot right now-- and I get that!"
He took the bread out of the toaster and started spreading on butter. It melted satisfyingly as soon as it hit the toast's surface.
"But I'm-- well we all are-- kind of worried about you both. Like, mental health is health! And it's important!" Chowder hoped his expression was concerned-neutral.
Nursey had finished his bite and opened his mouth to respond, but Chowder was not done and held up his hand. He was not going to grapple with hearing the word "chill" in an un-chill situation right now. He had patience in spades but this situation was seriously testing his flexibility.
"And I want to talk with you if you want to, or need to talk. Both of you. Frogs are here for each other!!" he tried to sound chipper, but it was becoming exhausting.
" But. Um, the thing is--"
The thing was, everyone had been cooped up for too long. There had been a record-breaking snowfall the night before all their flights and rides were planned to arrive, and the majority of the SMH team been holed up in the Haus for well over a week.
The night of the snowstorm, they'd thrown caution to the wind and gone ahead with Holi-kegster anyway. Switching to earlier flights was not an option; the snow had already started to fall thickly that evening. The promise of much-needed downtime together was too much to resist after weeks of studying and practice. And Shitty had driven down earlier in the week once he'd finished his finals to help set up, so then they really couldn't cancel.
Holi-kegster had ended up being the team and a couple of friends of teammates who were still in town, so it wasn't really a kegster in spirit. But subdued it was not, Chowder recalled painfully, if the hangover was anything to go by.
The next day they'd all eased themselves out of bed with ibuprofen and gatorade, and headed down to the kitchen following the scent of Bitty's pancakes. Everyone shuffled around blearily getting coffee as the alerts came through that flights were grounded. And there's no way cars were going anywhere, reported Dex whose brother had planned to come drive him up to Maine. They'd all watched the snow, settling into the realization that they were going to be spending the winter break together this year.
It was really nice for a while. Exciting, even! They baked, ate, snowshoed, played tabletop games and had video game tournaments. But almost two weeks had passed and nothing had changed outside. The temperature hadn't risen, the snow had kept coming-- unbelievably-- and everyone's nerves were ragged.
"The thing is, Nursey," Chowder started in on his speech, "it's um affecting the mental health of everyone in the Haus."
"Huh..?"
"Um. Your fighting with Dex. I mean, both of you fighting. And it's, like, a problem. The kind of problem that can't even be solved with fines."
"Huh." Nursey looked down at his sandwich. "We've been fighting more than usual?"
Chowder's eyes widened. "Umm. Yes, more than usual. And more, like... intense? But also," he wrung his hands, "because we're stuck in here all day, it's sorta... disruptive?"
He glanced at Nursey and then turned away to peanut-butter his bread.
"And, like, kinda disrespectful of our space?" he squeaked out. He turned to sit down at the table with his sandwich. He cautiously looked up at Nursey, gauging his reaction.
Nursey's eyebrows were sky-high. He was staring at the table between them.
"Wow bro. I am so sorry. I'm just now realizing that I've been super disrespectful of everyone's boundaries here." He brought his hand down over his face quickly as if to hit refresh. His lips curled in frustration.
"I'm sorry C. I didn't realize we were being so disruptive. We can do better, I promise."
"Thanks Nursey. I'm sorry to bring this up. I love you guys. Look, I'm going to talk to Dex too--"
"Uh, no," Nursey said quickly, "No, don't worry about that. I'll, uh, broach the subject with him. You've been through enough without approaching the lion's den," he laughed softly. Chowder smiled weakly.
"Okay? Is that a good idea?"
"Yeah. Yeah, don't worry."
"Okay."
Chowder took a bite of sandwich. He hoped this could be resolved soon. He wanted his friends back, and he wanted lighthearted, peaceful times again. All three of them together.
***
For the next two days, Nursey and Dex were curiously changed. The fights kept almost starting, small ones, and everyone's shoulders would ratchet up an inch. Then, almost miraculously, either Dex or Nursey or both would stammer their way through a reasonable solution to the argument.
But the tension was somehow still there. Chowder was troubled.
On Tuesday, they were about to start a Hallmark movie marathon and Dex was hunting for the remote.
"Someone lost it! It's not by the screen."
"Maybe in the couch somewhere?" Chowder suggested.
"No, I put it here after Mario Kart this morning. Nursey, where did it go?"
"Huh? What do I have to do with this? C'mon bro just chill it's around here somewhere probably."
Dex's face started to heat up. " Don't tell me to chill. You were watching that weird French movie earlier and you probably dropped it somewhere as usual."
Nursey's brow crumpled and he sat up suddenly. "Why do you always have to describe anything you're not familiar with as weird?"
Dex did a double-take. "What do you m--"
"And 8½ is Italian , not French," he retorted, smirking, as he sank back down into the couch.
"Though I wouldn't expect you to know the difference," he added under his breath.
It almost looked like smoke was shooting out of Dex's ears as he launched himself towards his fellow D-man. Nurse stood up to confront him. Bitty sucked in a breath, his eyes concerned. Shitty leaned forward in his chair, ready to step in. Ransom and Holster Exchanged one of their Glances. Jack looked up from the Sears catalogue, confused.
"JUST BECAUSE YOU F--" Dex bellowed as Nursey started shouting, "YOU THINK YOU CAN J--"
And then, it was a weird thing, because suddenly there was silence between them. It was like they were frozen, immortalized in time as Will's finger pointed into Derek's chest and Derek's spit flew into Will's eye. For a minute, Chowder thought something horrible had happened.
A strangled noise came from Dex as Nursey blinked furiously, glancing at his feet.
"Uh..."
"If you," Dex cleared his throat, "if you don't know where it is, Nurse. Err. That's acceptable."
"Yeah," Nursey's hand came up to smooth the back of his neck, "Sorry not sure where it went to. Haven't seen it."
They stared at each other for a second. Dex did not apologize back and a muscle twitched in Nursey's jaw.
"ANYWAY," Dex stated, way too loud, "I'm gonna, uh. Gonna go take care of someth-- some work. I mean homework. In my room."
He turned on his heel and ran upstairs while the residents of the living room were left still processing the outburst. Lardo snorted.
Nursey turned to them, a bashful grin spreading. "Look, I'm gonna catch up on my readings, see you on the flip side."
The room was tense after they'd left, and Chowder didn't like it one bit . They'd gone upstairs to continue their argument, he just knew it.
He made an excuse and, with trepidation, climbed the stairs. If he could only get them to calm down and talk through their feelings, maybe they could patch things up. He cared about them so much, he hated that they could hurt each other with words so easily.
He reached the landing and heard muffled banging coming from their room. Oh no! Were they fighting?! He would use every ounce of this goalie strength to push them apart and make them see reason.
Just as he got to their door, something pushed roughly against the back and slammed it closed. His surprise gave way to disbelief. Was it this bad? Were they throwing things? Throwing each other?!
The object against the door squirmed-- it was a body. Then-- "Shhh! We have to be quieter you idiot! I knew we should have gone to the basement!"
Chowder could hear a muffled Nursey reply, "I mean I'm not the one who pushed me up against this door brah."
An aggravated sigh from Dex.
The two must've released each other because the door clicked open again as they moved away. Chowder moved fast, pushing the door ajar to make sure they weren't tearing each other apart and---
They. They were, well. Tearing each other apart.
Not in that way, Chowder corrected his mind, in that way. Their faces were pressed together, their limbs grabbing for each other as they desperately made out. Barely coming up for air. Breathing hard against each other's top lips.
Chowder's mouth was open, but he couldn't make a sound.
It was Nursey, pushed up against the bunk-bed ladder, who looked up as Dex sucked on his neck and noticed Chowder standing there.
"Oh shiiiit," he groaned. "Dex. Dex. Dex. Stop bro."
Dex's voice was muffled, and what he said might have just been a string of swears. Nursey's hazel eyes and Chowder's dark brown ones bore into each other.
"Ahh c'mon, dude! Stop! "
Dex's head snapped up. "What?"
Nursey nudged in Chowder's direction with his chin. "We got caught."
Dex whipped around, his face entirely pink.
"Oh jesus... Chowder. Oh god, it's not what you... I mean..."
Nursey laughed, his cheeks reddening to match his flushed lips. "No, it's exactly what you think. Sorry Chowder, we were trying to keep it on the downlow but..."
"I..." started Chowder. They both paused, breathing silently. Waiting for his verdict.
"I..." he stuttered, flicking his eyes between them.
"I was... worried about you both. I guess I didn't need to be. It was stupid of me. I'm sorry, I'll go."
He turned toward the door, and Dex breathed lowly, "Sorry, Chowder."
"I won't tell anyone," Chowder barely whispered as he exited the room. But he knew they heard him. Then he closed the door, as quietly as possible.
***
It was 6:30am and actually? Chowder was angry. His alarm hadn't gone off accidentally (like it had the first three days of holidays) but he had woken up when it was still dark, staring at the wall pointlessly.
Chris Chow was mad at his friends. His best friends in the whole world.
The revelation of last night had truly thrown him for a loop. He was annoyed at first, then he was mad and decided to sleep on it. But by the time 5am rolled around, he'd woken up to find himself completely miserable.
He squirmed away from his pillow, pulling his stuffed shark from underneath his shoulder and throwing it down the bed. It landed with a plop on the floor, and he regretted it instantly. At least his shark had never done anything to betray his trust .
Like, why would they do this in the first place? He wasn't against them being, he gulped, gay. He was fully supportive of gay rights. When it was his friends, it made him feel funny but... no, that wasn't it. What was he mad at, anyway?
He rolled onto his back. Was he mad that they hadn't come out to him? Not exactly. Was he mad they hadn't told him about their secret "meetings"?
Yeah, that was it, he thought, that must be it. Betraying his trust by not letting him know. Or...
He felt hot. There had to be something good to drink in the fridge.
He padded down the stairs quietly, noticing the sky lightening through the window in the kitchen, and treaded the cold, tiled path to the fridge. He pulled out a soda, popped it open and chugged.
Ok, better. He closed his eyes, his mind quieting.
Whispers from the living room. His eyes snapped open.
"Who is that?" a stage whisper emanated from the easy chair.
"It's C," the couch responded in hushed tones, "Come here, C! Please?"
Chowder peered into the living room to see a be-pyjamaed Nursey, Dex and two mugs of coffee on the table between them. Dex was leaning forward and Nursey was reclining back on the couch.
"Come sit with us for a minute, C. Please?"
Nursey had a sad smile and Chowder couldn't say no to that. He moved to the spot Derek was patting on the couch, which would put him between the two.
He sat down, sighing. What good was this going to be, he thought, an eyebrow uncharacteristically twitching. He hated drama. Hated it so much he almost wanted to give in and just make everything happy again between them. Almost.
Dex looked at Nursey and then began, "We wanted to apologize for er... surprising you like that last night." He cleared his throat, amber eyes flicking away from Chowder in embarrassment. "We should have been more aboveboard with you, man. I--I'm sorry."
"You didn't deserve to find out like that," interjected Nursey. "We must have shocked you. Hurt you. You deserve more, C. You're our friend."
Chowder snorted, and he surprised himself as words and tears started to tumble out.
"Oh yeah, that's what I am. Your friend . Great."
Dex looked shocked. "But you are. You're our best friend, Chowder. Us three against the world, remember?"
The tears were coming so fast he choked on them. "Yeah, right. You two against the world and I'm the third wheel. Sounds fun."
Dex and Nursey exchanged a glance.
His words weren't coming out right. He had to tell them that-- wait, what part of this was he mad about again? His head felt like it was filling with smoke.
"Hey, man, you okay?" came from the other side of the table.
Then he felt a soft hand on his shoulder.
"C, are you saying that you're actually jealous of us?"
Chowder spluttered, digging his knuckles into his eyes. Dex handed him a kleenex. He blew hard, trying to clear his head. The hand on his shoulder was warm, caressing. It was making him feel like his insides were boiling over like a pot on the stove.
"Uh, no?" he laughed bitterly. "I mean, no? I'm not?"
What was happening?
He took a deep breath, in and out, and closed his eyes. He was back at the kitchen table in his childhood home. His Popo had smoothed his hair and told him to breathe before telling her what happened. Breathe in deep, breathe out. Repeat three times. Now open your eyes and tell me what happened.
He opened his eyes. They were both looking at him, worried. He glanced back and forth between them a few times. Jealous? Jealous. Jealous...
"I'm not sure," he blinked, "but I think I am feeling... yes. Jealous."
Dex opened his mouth, but Nursey beat him to it.
"C, we would never exclude you. I mean," he grinned sheepishly, "we did, cause we were embarrassed."
He jostled Dex, who looked daggers at him.
"Well, mostly him. No, okay okay, I was too. But, brah," he turned to Chowder again, "we would never do that again. We will highkey be aboveboard with you and involve you in everything from now on."
Chowder's cheeks started to feel hot. "Uh, okay. Involve me like... how?"
"Involve him? What are you talking about, Derek? 'We're going to be honest with him but involve him' sounds like we'd-- I mean like we would--" his grin shrank at Nursey's knowing look. "You mean we really would..?"
Nursey stared back at Dex. "Well, we could ... y'know..."
He turned to Chowder again and held out a hand.
"C, this is kind of out there, but: serious question. Are you jealous because we're your friends? Or because you want to be part of our relationship ?"
Dex snorted. "Of course he doesn't want to be part of our relationship. And we don't even have a relationship, we have a. I don't know, what would you call this?"
"A relationship," Nursey deadpanned, fixing him with a look. He swivelled back to Chowder. "C? What's your verdict?"
Dex gaped at him, his eyes softening. "Chowder, would you actually want to...?" Chowder met his gaze and he trailed off, reddening quickly.
"I mean, uh. This is crazy," Dex whispered. "This doesn't happen in real life, Chowder. Tell him."
"Dex, you thought what we were doing 'didn't happen in real life'. I'm pretty sure it does. We have a witness, remember?" Nursey looked back at Chowder, his hand still in the air but wilting now.
Nursey sighed. "Look, I'm not trying to pressure anyone. I just got the feeling that-- Chowder, it sounded like you felt, well, left out."
Chowder averted his gaze. "Yeah, uh, I do." When he returned their gaze again, both his friends seemed frozen. He took Nursey's hand and squeezed it. He thought: if it made him feel better for this moment in time, maybe it would make him feel better for many moments in the future as well.
Dex's eyes were almost quivering with pent up emotion. "Bro--" he started, his voice breaking, and he couldn't go on. He was beet red.
Nursey leaned over to Chowder, wrapping his arm around him and squeezing.
"So proud of you brah. That was not easy to do. Of course you're going to be a part of us."
Then Nursey got up, walked around the table to Dex's easy chair and sat on the arm. He pressed Dex's head into an armlock, pulling it to his chest and rubbing big circles on his back.
Chowder got up, he didn't know how, and walked over to them. He sat on the other arm of the chair, Nursey's hand finding his back again, pulling him in. Dex, crushed between them, protested.
They pulled back, letting him free. But then Chowder's head was being pulled down by Dex. He mussed up Chowder's hair, giving him a rough kiss on the crown, then on the cheek, pushing him away quickly afterward. Nursey cackled joyfully, pulling Chowder in for a kiss on the other cheek while Dex was crushed below.
He was full, he felt like he was boiling over again, but this time it was a happy kind of boiling and it felt too soon-- his head was spinning. Was he really agreeing to this?
He looked at his best friends grinning bashfully back at him. A pair of hazel eyes and a pair of amber eyes. He thought, yeah. There was no way he was going to let them have this much fun without him.