Chapter Text
Spamton dug his gloved hands into the earth. It was actually kind of soothing. Although, he didn't mess with the natural fauna it had been important for him to weed around the graves. He didn't know what kept drawing him back here besides the pull of the wormhole but he had become it's caretaker.
The puppet sat against the big tree. Taking his gloves off he wiped his hands on his overalls and then lit a cigarette. It really was beautiful here. He acknowledged that even though his suicidal ideation was under control he still romanticized death. Although after NEO he had realized it was an illusory concept he still longed for that absolute nothingness.
"You know I really hate that you come up here so much." Blue's voice echoed in Spamton's ears.
Spamton turned to face Blue. He looked a little worse for wear as of late. He had lost quite a bit of weight and he didn't look like he slept well.
"It's [[PEACEFUL RESTING PLACES]] up here." Spamton remarked as he took a drag.
"Yeah, it was almost your peaceful resting place last year." Blue said as he sat down next to him.
Spamton just held his hand. Apologizing would never be enough. He knew that moment changed Blue forever and he couldn't take it back. He just was glad the Addison loved him enough to understand he had been overcome by despair. It hadn't really been done out of selfishness. It was a desperate moment during a horrible time.
"I like the Glow Flowers you planted." Blue smiled. "They're really pretty. You can see them from the bottom of the hill."
"Thank you." Spamton sighed. It was hard to see Blue so depressed. It filled him with guilt.
The Glow Flowers swayed in the gentle breeze. Spamton had planted a variety. Florescent rainbow blooms surrounded the old graves. It was quite stark up against the scarlet leaves on the trees and dark sky. The flowers attracted translucent white butterflies. The contrast was really stunning. It reminded Spamton of something he had seen called a "blacklight poster."
"What are you doing here at [[CATHOLIC CEMETERIES IN YOUR COUNTY?]]" Spamton got back up. As he brushed himself off he looked anxiously at Blue.
"Honestly, I just wanted to come check on you." Blue suddenly choked up. "I keep having dreams where you die and I have to sprinkle your ashes."
Spamton's heart swelled. He didn't intend to traumatize his friend but he had. He accepted that. Blue began to cry in front of him. The Addison held his head in his hands as he wept. It was haunting to see him so tore up. Spamton's brows furrowed as he pondered what to do. The puppet wasn't good with feelings.
He hugged Blue tightly and assured him everything would be alright. He tried to push his own negative thought cycle aside.
"Sorry." Blue sniffled as he wiped his eyes on his sleeve. "I guess I still feel guilty for not knowing the extent of what you went through. I think...I know I would want to die too. I just don't want to live in a world without you. Maybe that makes me selfish."
This genuinely touched Spamton. He held his friend's hands.
"Blue, I'm okay. Anti-psychotics are making me fat but I'm doing well." Spamton squeezed Blue's hands hard. "I love you, all of you, and I love the [[CLOWN AROUND TOWN.]] Please [[10 TIPS FOR SELF CARE]] of you. Thank you for staying with me when I was (Are You Having a Dark Night of the Soul?)"
Blue hugged him. Maybe he did need some professional help to get through this. He didn't know what hurt at the moment. It was guilt maybe and a sense of loss. He couldn't fret over Spamton forever. He never grieved what happened to Spamton or how he'd changed. Blue was so worried about helping the marionette through it he never processed it himself. The terror of that day Spamton tried to jump was stuck inside of him.
"I'm getting ready to leave." Spamton stated as he gathered his gardening supplies.
Blue walked with him side by side down the hill and out of the forest. They waved as they parted ways and Spamton headed up the stairs to his apartment.
Jevil was watching TV as Spamton entered and kicked off his shoes.
"WELL, PUPPET BOY, I WAS WAITING, WAITING." Jevil smiled as Spamton took a seat next to him.
"FOR WHAT, [CIRCUS CIRCUS?]" Spamton put his arm around him.
"I FOUND A SURGEON, SURGEON." Jevil exclaimed as he waved his phone at the puppet.
"For what?" Spamton asked as he stole a handful of chips out of the jester's bowl.
"YOUR SCAR TISSUE, SILLY." Jevil rolled his eyes.
"Oh." Spamton blushed and sort of panicked internally.
"PUPPET BOY, EVERYTIME WE MESS AROUND YOU HAVE TO LAY A GODDAMN PIPIS, PIPIS. THEN IT'S TWO TO FOUR HOURS OF YOU SOBBING IN PAIN, PAIN WHILE YOU TRY TO BIRTH AN EGG OUT OF A SCARRED OVIDUCT." Jevil leaned on his shoulder.
"That's [[TRUE FACTS ABOUT GIVING BIRTH.]]" Spamton sighed. This was a miserable conversation.
"LET ME REMIND YOU OF THE LAST TIME ONE GOT STUCK, STUCK." Jevil shook his head. "IF I COULD GO BACK IN TIME AND KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER AGAIN I WOULD DO IT EVEN SLOWER, SLOWER."
Spamton was quiet for minute as he nervously shoved chips in his mouth but Jevil was right. Maybe it would help with the egg laying and then they could possibly try actual sex again.
"You're right. I'm just scared of [[THE PAIN OF FLASHBACKS.]] Also, what if (When Surgery Doesn't Help?)" Spamton was sweating now.
"DOESN'T THE FEELING OF THE EGG RIPPING YOU CAUSE FLASHBACKS ANYWAY, ANYWAY? PLUS, IF YOU NEVER TRY YOU'LL NEVER KNOW, KNOW." Jevil kissed him on the forehead.
"I know." Spamton frowned. "I JUST AM [[TERRIFYING PROCEDURES GONE WRONG.]] I'm so ashamed of it down there..."
"PUPPET BOY, YOU WERE BRUTALLY RAPED OVER A PERIOD OF YEARS, YEARS. WHY DO YOU NEED TO BE ASHAMED, ASHAMED? THE ONES WHO HURT YOU CERTAINLY AREN'T." the jester took the bowl from Spamton. "I MADE FRIED CHICKEN, CHICKEN, MASHED POTATOES, AND GREEN BEANS, BEANS AND YOU'RE EATING CHIPS!"
Spamton laughed at the clown. His head grew larger and smaller.
"I didn't know I married my (MOTHER'S DAY GIFTS.)" Spamton rolled his eyes.
Jevil just stuck out his tongue at the doll as he levitated upwards with the bowl. Spamton chuckled as he got up and went to get himself a plate. They had always been this way together.
The night went as normal but Spamton couldn't help but think about the possible surgery and Blue. He felt anxious for some reason. Spamton grabbed his phone and sent a text.
"Are you okay?" he texted to Blue.
"I'm with Orange." Blue texted back almost immediately.
"Oh, okay. Are you working?" Spamton felt something was off.
"No, we're at the bar. I'm kinda drunk already. I only drank 3 beers." Blue replied.
"YOU'RE DRINKING?!!" Spamton was actually concerned now. Blue never drank. He was the annoyingly healthy friend.
"Blue, you're really worrying me." Spamton texted.
"You and everyone else! I just got a lecture from Orange." Blue typed.
"Good." Spamton raised an eyebrow at the screen.
"DID SOMEONE GET YOU TO CLICK ON MEATSPIN AGAIN, AGAIN?" Jevil snickered as he floated over.
"No. Blue's at the [[BARS IN THE DOWNTOWN AREA]] AND HE'S DRUNK." Spamton put the phone down.
"SPAMTON, IT'S OKAY TO HAVE MELTDOWNS SOMETIMES. LET BLUE ONE FIGURE IT OUT." Jevil folded towels and put them on the coffee table. "HE WAS THERE FOR YOU, YOU AND ONLY INTERVENED WHEN YOU TRIED TO KILL YOURSELF, SELF. OTHER THAN THAT, HE LET YOU BE."
"It just makes me [[DO YOU HAVE AN ANXIETY DISORDER? TAKE THIS QUIZ!]]" Spamton scratched his belly and lit a cigarette.
"HE'LL BE FINE, PUPPET BOY." Jevil confidently stated.
All of sudden Spamton's phone started blowing up.
"Spamton, I hate to tell you this. I was the one who identified you in that video and I saw you chained to that table and I can't get it out of my head." Blue was drunk texting now. "It's like no matter what I do I can't get the sight of you crying out of my skull. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I cry all the time. I feel so guilty for all those years you were alone."
Spamton's eyes grew wide. This was alot.
"I can't get the image of that guy with the TV head slapping the shit out of you and cutting your boxers off to go away. I can't believe that this happened to you. It's like I just want to fix you. I just want to go back in time and stop all of this from happening but I can't." Blue was sending a drunk novella.
"WHAT IS HAPPENING, HAPPENING?" Jevil squinted at Spamton as he grinded his weed up.
"Blue is [[DRUNK FAIL COMPILATION 2022]] and he's upset." Spamton was trying not to be triggered by all of this.
"ABOUT WHAT?" Jevil asked. He just wanted to relax with Spamton.
"What he saw in the [[PORN VIDEOS FREE]] of Tenna and I." Spamton frowned. He didn't want to remember being trafficked right now.
"OH, GOOD GOD, GOD." Jevil swished the ice water in the bong around. "TURN YOUR PHONE OFF FOR NOW. WE JUST GOT THROUGH YOUR MANIC EPISODE, EPISODE."
Spamton nodded and did what Jevil told him. When Blue was sober they really needed to talk. Blue saw the beginning of that video over a year ago now. Spamton didn't know it was eating him alive.
"YOU'RE SHAKING, SHAKING, PUPPET BOY." Jevil said exasperated.
"Sorry, I'm trying to [[CALMING HABITS TO GET INTO.]]" Spamton chuckled. He was jittery and sweaty now.
"LET ME TAKE A FEW HITS, HITS AND THEN WE CAN TAKE A BATH." Jevil stroked Spamton's cheek. "I REALLY DON'T WANT YOU TO TAKE AN AMBIEN, AMBIEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO."
"Me either." Spamton agreed. They helped him sleep in an emergency but they messed with his mood.
After the bath Jevil and Spamton snuggled on the couch and watched cartoons. The puppet was surprisingly sleepy. He thought about the Glow Flowers and how pretty the abandoned cemetery was. He tried not to think about Blue. It made him anxious. He really wanted to talk to him but not drunk. Of, course Spamton wasn't mad at Blue. He remembered when he was using substances to try to cope with what was happening. It just was concerning and it made Spamton sad for the Addison. He was sure seeing that video was traumatizing. It was traumatizing to be forced to be in it. Grasping at straws when you're severely traumatized can lead you down a dark path though. Blue should know that considering he works with survivors. It's always different when it's you. Spamton knew that all too well.
"ARE YOU READY FOR BED, BED? I'M TIRED." Jevil yawned.
"YOU SMELL LIKE [[BURNING RUBBER.]]" Spamton stated casually.
"I LOVE YOU TOO, PUPPET BOY." Jevil wheezed as he laughed.
The bed was nice and warm. Spamton held Jevil tightly. The puppet was still dealing with his abandonment issues but he was getting better. He was afraid of how much of that video Blue had seen. He didn't remember the specifics of that particular incident. It was all such a blur except for the really horrible shit. Did Blue sit and watch Tenna rape him? He sure hoped not. He never asked.
"STOP THINKING ABOUT IT, IT." Jevil kissed Spamton breaking him out of his thoughts. "IT'S NIGHTY-NIGHT TIME."
"Okay, good night." Spamton's voice was warbling from stress. He laid his head on Jevil's chest and fell asleep.