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Yeah, Benny was nervous.
Pope was in town and would be coming ot his fight, the first one in several months. It wasn't like he never came to the states, but we wasn't flying back every weekend either. Usually when he was back, he had some big plan, a grand scheme, and adventure to go on. Benny needed to win, it was imparitive that he won when Pope was here so he didn't think he lost his edge. Every single mission Pope had, Benny went, he needed it. His MMA fights didn't pay the bills, they barely paid for his drinking some days, and his stock boy job at Walmart was humiliating. All he had were his fights and Santiago's adventures to keep him going
And, of course, Frankie, whose mouth he was currently cumming inside as Frankie knelt on the floor between where Benny sat on the bench.
Frankie, whose hat had fallen on the floor after getting in the way of deepthroating, swallowed him down like he always did, and then sat back on his with a satisfied smirk. "Feel bad."
Benny smiled his dopey grin and tucked himself back into his red shorts. "Yeah I do, thanks." Thanks. Benny chastised himself. Who the fuck says thanks after an orgasm? He never quite new how to act around Frankie. Frankie had been easier than the others, for sure. When Ben joined Delta, he needed so badly for everyone to like him, to think he was capable, to prove to himself he earned this spot and hadn't just gotten this position from being Ironhead's brother. Of course, that hadn't hurt. Will didn't pull any stings for him, but it was through Will that he heard there was a position open, and Will had mentioned his brother would be applying, but that was it. Ben knew he was good at what he did, but he felt like he was constantly fighting to prove that to the others, even know. A 35 year old man still wanting his cool older brother and his friend to like him. Pathetic.
Well, Catfish did more than like him, it seemed. Despite always being kind to him, gently teasing him to put him at ease, the recently change was something new. Of course Ben had a crush on Catfish, how could he not after watching him fly. He was so assured, collected, in control, just as he was when he was railing him in a secret hook up. And it had to remain secret, their sweaty nights spent exploring each others bodies, the hotel bookings and parked cars in corn fields, and days like this, tucked away in locker rooms. Ben longed for the day he could fuck Fish in his own Ben, to hold him all night and make him breakfast in the morning.
But he couldn't, because Ben lived with Will, and Fish lived with his girlfriend an daughter.
It wasn't a happy family, Benny reasoned to himself to make the guilt go away. They were on the verge of breaking up long before Ben entered the dick-sucking-picture, but then she got pregnant and Fish wasn't the type of guy of abandon his lady while pregnant. He was, however, the type to go run errands and fuck Ben in the Walmart employee bathroom. The one thing the shit job was good for.
Ben stood up, helping the older man off his knees. Fish mumbled a thanks is return, then directed him to sit as he grabbed the wraps. This was their ritual. Not the stress relief blowjob, but the hand wrapping. Part of Ben wondered if Will knew about them, if that's why he always made himself scarce and left the hand binding to Fish.
Will was maticulas, wrapping and rewrapping until it was perfect, until Will absolutely sure Ben would be okay, that it wasn't too tight, obsession over it until one day, Frankie got tired of watching and pushed Will to the side. Gently, carefully, firmly, Frankie wrapped his hands up. When Will inspected the hands, he was satisfied, entrusting Fish to do the job from then on. That meant a lot to Ben. Ben was aware how protective Will was of him, and the fact Will was able to entrust his baby brother's safety to Fish was important.
"You're gonna do great, Benjamin." Frankie tried to sooth him and he carefully wrapped the right hand. "You've been on a hot streak. Pope is gonna be very impressed."
Ben watched him, marveling at the care Fish always put into him, his hands, in bed, in the field. "I know I care too much about his opinion."
Frankie shrugged. "It's only natural."
"What do you think he'd think about us."
There was a brief pause in Frankie's actions, not looking up before he returned to his work. "And what exactly is us."
For months now, they hadn't really talked about what happened, they fucked and spent time together, but never talked. "Oh that's right, you just want sex."
THAT made Frankie look up, hurt in his eye as he straddled the bench. "How can you say that?" He finished the left hand, but still held it.
Ben looked away, ashamed he'd insinuate such a thing but too stubborn to back down. "You just call me when you want to bend more over a sink."
His voice was quiet. "Is that what you really think?" When Benny didn't reply nor look at him, Franke reached out, taking Ben's face in his hands and guiding it to his. "You listen to me, Benjamin, you aren't just sex and... I'm sorry I made you feel like that. It's doesn't have to be sex. It's quick fucks because I can't take you on a nice date. It's bathroom blowjobs because I can't hold you in my arms all night long."
Feeling his eyes tear up, Ben tried to push him feelings down, to push down the love he had for Catfish, but none the less he hears his voice quiver as he speaks. "But why?"
With a sigh, Frankie hangs his head and rests it on Ben's shoulder. 'It's just... I got the baby, you know? And the guys, they don't know what we are, I don't even know if we know what we are... it's all so... complicated..."
Benny understood, he did, and he reassured Frankie as much as he hugged him. "Can we try? I don't... I don't wanna be your dirty secret anym-"
"You're not." Frankie quickly broke in. "You're not... you're not dirty, Ben. You aren't dirty, and we aren't wrong. We just need to be honest with everyone."
Benny held his breath. "You we can... talk to the guys?"
There was a hesitation, but Fransisco spoke. "Yeah, yeah we can talk to them. Let's see what bullshit Pope's got going on this time and just wait a few days. If we're going somewhere, we don't need to be divulging and big secrets right before life or death situations but... yeah. After this, we can tell em."
"And your girl?" Benny kissed the crown of Frankie's head.
Frankie chuckled softly. "If we end up going, I'm pretty sure she's leaving anyway... Besides, she's fucking her boss, so I doubt it's gonna be much of a loss. I'm sure we can figure out a good custody agreement."
Ben adored Franks daughter and lit up at the idea of helping raise her. "Yeah? You think we can pull this off."
Shrugging slightly but smiling, Frankie's kind eyes sparkled. "I dunno, we can try."
"What do you think that'll say?"
Frankie thought for a moment. "Well< I don"t think Will"s gonna give much of a shit> He just wants you to be happy< you know that< right?"
"Yeah, I know."
"And Santi hasn't been in a committed relationship since his 2 week girlfriend in Sunday school, so he doesn't got much room to talk."
Ben laughed, beaming again at his lover. "Yeah, I don't think he'd care much anyway." Ben's smile faltered. "And Tom?"
Frankie's smile fell a bit too, knowing how Tom was. Tom didn't say anything outright like 'man, I sure hate gay people.' But there were comments, outdated names he called them as 'play' insults... everyone knew where Tom stood.
"I won't let noth'n happen to you, okay? Neither will Santi or Will, 'kay? I love you so much, it's gonna be alright."
Ben breathed a sigh of relief. "Yeah, okay, s'gonna alright. I love you too, Fish"
Frank pulled Ben to stand up, pulling his face in for a wet kiss. "C'mon, Santi's waiting, he's gonna be so proud of you, just like me and Will are."
When Ben entered the locker room, Frankie trailing behind him, he tried his best to push away the thoughts of his best friend sucking his dick and promising his love not ten minutes ago.