Chapter Text
Empty. Our house is not a home anymore. A house that was once lively is now vibrating with silence. Grieving in silence is our way to cope with this sadness ever since my mom passed away a few months ago. Walang kumikibo dito sa bahay pero sinusubukan ni ate Nao na pagaanin ang aming nararamdaman para maging okay ang lahat dito. Ideya niya na lumipat kami sa aming probinsya kung saan lumaki si mama at kung saan lagi kami nagbabakasyon noon nung mga bata pa kami.
Pagdating namin doon ay maayos naman ang lahat at naka display parin ang mga litrato naming pamilya maging ang mga litrato ni mama noong siya ay bata pa. We continued our studies here, and our dad was too busy with his work, so he stayed in Manila. Abala ang aming kasambahay sa pag aayos ng aming gamit at si tita Ruby naman na kapatid ni mama ang nag aasikaso sa amin kasama ang pinsan namin na si ate Anna.
Naglilibot libot ako sa bayan nang makita ko si Pier na isa sa mga kalaro ko noon dito sa probinsya. Siya ang pinaka bata sa amin ngunit napaka tangkad na niya ngayon, hindi na siya yung dating maliit na bunso sa larong bahay bahayan namin. I almost didn’t recognize him, but good thing I recognized his moles, and his mole on his chin stands out. Nagkatitigan kaming dalawa at agad niya akong ningitian at lumapit sa akin.
“Kuya Carm? Ikaw na ba yan? Kuya na miss kita. Inaantay ka namin tuwing summer kaso di ka na nagbabakasyon dito. Akala namin tigok ka na eme” He’s still as lively as before.
“Inaantay niyo ako?”
“Ay hindi, eme ulit. Oo naman. Miss na miss ka na namin no. Apat na taon din siguro kayo di nakapunta dito. Baka nagtatampo na yung mga yun sa iyo. Haha joke lang! Ayan na pala si kuya Lui at kuya Alex eh. Kasama ko talaga sila kanina pa kaso may dinaanan lang sila kasi malapit na ang fiesta rito. Makakaabot ka ba? Tara gala tayo.” Kahit kailan ay pala kwento na talaga si Pier kaya laging napapahaba ang usapan namin.
“Oo, andito na ulit ako at baka maabutan ko nga yang fiesta.” Dagdag ko.
“Carm? Totoo ba to? Bakasyon mo ba dito? Di ako makapaniwala na nandito ka Carm kasi pumupunta ka lang naman dito tuwing summer.” Kuya Lui greeted me with a hug at hindi rin ako makapaniwala kasi ang laki ng pinagbago niya.
“Actually, di lang ako magbabakasyon dito kasi dito na ako titira at dito ko na rin itutuloy ang college kasama si ate Nao.” Nakakatuwa sila tingnan dahil dati napaka liit at gusgusin lang namin, ngayon ang laki na namin at ibang iba na ang aming ayos at porma. Bakas sa kanilang mga mukha ang tuwa nang masabi ko na dito na ako mag aaral sa bayan na ito kung saan panigurado na dito rin sila nag aaral sa nag iisang malaking unibersidad dito.
“Edi lagi ka na namin makikita dito sa bayan? Suyo well lalo na kay ano joke” Di ko maintindihan ang huling sinabi ni kuya Alex kaya tumango nalang ako.
“Kuya Carm, nakikiramay nga pala kami sa inyo. Nabalitaan namin ang nangyari at kung may kailangan ka, andito naman sila kuya para tulungan ka maka adjust dito sa bayan at sa university na rin.” Pier might have changed so much, but he is still the same sweet bunso for me.
“Don’t be shy Carm, you can always call us at you can ask Sam and kuya Nate anything na school related since anak naman sila ng may ari ng school so baka matulungan ka nila.” Naka kunot ang noo na sinabi ito ni kuya Alex at makikita mo sa kanyang mukha ang kanyang nunal sa ilong at kanyang pag aalala. Oh yeah, I remember na sobrang close nila kuya Alex, Lui at Sam lalo na’t magkaka edad lang ang mga ito.
“Nagkita na ba kayo ni-” Agad naman hinampas ni Alex si Lui.
“Sige mauna na kami kuya Carm, need na rin namin mauwi yung gamit para sa fiesta. See you nalang ah!” Nag paalam na sila Pier at nagmamadali sila na umalis.
“Salamat talaga sa inyo. I’m really happy na nakita ko ulit kayo at napaka bait niyo pa rin sa akin. See you around!” Nakaka tuwa lang isipin na parang ganun parin sila katulad ng dati. Lagi sila makulit at makwela.
Agad naman ako dumeretso sa dati kong pinupuntahan na merchandise dito kung saan maraming mga binebenta kung anu-ano pero ang pinaka gusto ko bilhin ay ang kanilang mga figurines at may isang nag agaw pansin sa akin sa isang stall at yun ang nag iisang music box. The music box looks beautiful, and the angel figurine really caught my attention. Nang papalapit ako sa stall ay may nakabanggaan akong isang lalaki na papalapit din sa stall. The guy really looked familiar and I was right.
“OMG. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to bump with you…Mauro?” When I saw his face clearly, I was certain that it was indeed Mauro. Those round cat eyes and deep dimples on his cheek.
“Yeah?” Mauro coldly replied.
“It’s me, Carmine. Your kuya Mine”
“Oh you’re back.” He is so different now. Last time I saw him, he was sweet, but now it seems like he’s really a different person. It’s like I never even knew him.
“Yeah, dito na rin ako mag aaral. Are you going to buy this?” I asked him at tumango lang siya sa akin. It’s unfamiliar how silent he is now, but I can still feel his comfort. “You can have it, tinitingnan ko lang naman eh. It actually reminded me of you because you like figurines, and I guess you still like them.” He just nodded again as a response.
“Condolence, kuya Mine.” I can see the sincerity in his eyes and the way he slowly hugged me made my tears fall. This is what comfort feels like, and Mauro always gives me that. Good thing there aren’t many people coming to this hall because it would be too embarrassing for me. Even if we don’t often communicate or see each other, it’s always him who brightens up my summer, and now that summer is over, you still give me such warmth and peace.
After he paid for the music box, he invited me to go to his house like we usually do. Hindi na siya pala kwento tulad ng dati pero hindi naman kami awkward dahil ako ang may marami na kwento, he is more of a listener now. Marunong na siya magmaneho ngayon kaya naman papunta kami ngayon sa bahay nila gamit ang sasakyan niyang honda civic. Ang dating iyakin at lagi kong binabantayan noon na malapit kong kalaro ay ngayon nang makisig at matipuno.
“May dumi ba sa mukha ko?” Nagulat ako sa biglaang tanong ni Mauro. Hindi ko namalayan na medyo matagal na pala akong nakatitig sa kanya while he’s busy looking at the road.
“What? No! Ummh… Ano kasi, naninibago kasi ako sayo. You used to be really really small, you know. Ngayon, ikaw na yung nag ddrive sa atin. Nauna ka pa mag ka license kaysa sa akin. Hahaha. Bansot kunot Meowro ka lang naman noon” Hindi ko na alam isasagot ko so I was babbling nonsense. Nakakahiya na talaga sa kanya, kanina pa ako nagmumukhang engot sa harapan niya eh ako tong kuya niya.
“Your nickname for me is still annoying. Pero ayaw mo non, passenger princess na kita? Mine to take care of, mine to pay attention too. ” I saw his little smirk which showed his dimples. I miss this side of him, yung mga salita niya na may halong asar.
“Luh siya! Ako dapat nagddrive for you at nag aalaga sa iyo kasi ikaw ang mas bata sa ating dalawa. Pero bakit ba kasi Mine ka ng Mine dati pa. Min nga kasi pag pronounce nun kainis kaya bansot kunot Meowro ka talaga eh.”
“Because you’re Mine?”
“Corny mo talaga! Min nga eh pero dahil fave mo ako payag nalang ulit ako sa Mine. Para saan pa na ako yung favorite kuya mo kung di naman ako makakabawi sa iyo. Wait, ako pa ba favorite kuya mo?”
“You’re still my favorite, but not kuya though.”
“Huh? Bakit-”
“Ok, we’re here.” Di ko na natapos ang sasabihin ko at di ko namalayan na andito na pala kami sa bahay nila.
Their house is still big at wala paring tao maliban sa mga kasambahay niya. We went straight up to his room kung saan malaki ang pinagbago nito kumpara sa huling punta ko noon dito. The angel figurine collections are still in his cabinet at mas dumami pa ito. He placed the music box which he bought earlier on the center part of the cabinet. When he opens it, you will see the beauty of the angel figurine rotating with twinkling lights while it’s playing Isabella’s Lullaby from Promised Neverland.
We used to watch it together. It is like our comfort show to watch, even though there are times when it gets scary. I remember back then when Mauro would lay on my lap when he got scared every time we watched something scary. Ang cute cute niya pa noon dahil para siyang kuting laging dumidikit kapag natatakot, kaya naman tinatawag ko siyang Meowro pang asar sa kanya tuwing natatakot siya.
“Wanna watch something? I have netflix there, you can choose whatever you want.” He handed me the remote control and scrolled some shows there.
“Do you want to watch something scary with me? Are you still scared ba? Baka mamaya mag tago ka na naman sa likod ng unan habang nakahiga sa lap ko.” Pang aasar ko sa kanya.
“I’m not a little kid anymore, kuya Mine. You don’t have to treat me like a child, you know.” The room went silent for minutes, and I stayed silent while I kept scrolling through the shows.
“Still can’t choose?” He asked.
“Uwi nalang ako Mau, medyo masama na kasi pakiramdam ko.” I don’t know what’s gotten into me, it affected me so much that I became so sulky, and I have to lie about not feeling well. Tama naman siya na malaki na kami at dapat hindi ko na siya tinatrato na parang bata, but I can’t help it. Gusto ko makabawi sa kanya kaso ito lang ang alam kong paraan. What Mauro said kind of hurts me. He’s been acting cold ever since we met. Baka nga mas mabuti na umuwi nalang ako.
“Do you have medicine? Stay here first and rest. Mag overnight ka nalang dito.”
“Wag na Mau, kaya ko naman umuwi eh-”
“No, please stay here. I’m sorry kuya Mine, I didn’t mean to say those mean words. I know you’re leaving because you’re hurt, that’s why I’m story. Please stay ok? Can I lay on your lap just like we used to do when I’m feeling scared?” Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at dahan dahan niya ako hinila pabalik.
Ilang taon na rin magmula nung huli kami nagkasamang magkaibigan. Years have passed yet his warmth on my lap says comfort to me. Playing with his hair and his visible long lashes that slowly blink out of his cat eyes looks pretty. While the movie is playing, he can’t help but grab my hand and place it on his cheek. He doesn’t talk much, but he’s pretty much into skinship.
No one’s paying attention to the movie that we’re watching. Those soft hairs slowly moved as I played with them, and he turned his head, looking at my face. I find it hard to understand his actions not until he said something.
“I miss what’s mine. You’re always going to be mine. I thought I could get mad at you for not coming back here for many years, pero hindi ko magawa. Paano ko magagawa yun kung tuwing taon ako nag aantay sa iyo. Paano ko magagawa yun kung ikaw ang nasa panaginip ko. If I had one wish, it’s going to be you staying here forever. It’s not yet forever, but you’re here now.”
“Mauro, I-”
He didn’t let me finish my words, as he left a burning sensation within my lips. The younger man reached for his face, planting a short, deep kiss, making it not enough, as if he’s challenging the older man to want him more. Blood rushed to his fingertips as he began to kiss back the younger man and caress his face.
“Mauro, I'm going home. We can’t go any further than this.” I cut it off because I couldn’t handle it. It’s becoming dangerous so it’s the only choice I have. Tumango ito at kitang kita sa mukha ng nakababata na bitin ito.
“Ok, hatid na kita and don’t insist.”
“Ok.” I have no other choice since wala nang masakyan ng ganitong oras.
-
On the way back to my house in the car, Mauro placed his hand on my thighs. I had to clear my throat in order to release some tension because the silence in the car is so loud. I was at a loss for words. Just complete silence and a hazy, unsettling heat that shot through my veins like wildfire—no words, no movement.
Mauro tightened his grip on my thigh that caused an inadvertent leak of my voice. Every nerve ending in my body flared with sensation as the warmth from earlier. The beating in my heart intensified until it throbbed throughout my entire body, and the suddenly extremely sensitive area between my thighs.
He pulled off on the side of the road. God knows what time it is, thus no one is around. When he started to look my way, I claimed his lips with a violent kiss. His tongue made me weak, and I felt the heat from the great pressure. Grabbing his hair, I made him utter a loud groan. I unbuckled my seatbelt, went on top of him, and began moving from the passenger to the driver's seat. He started to let out his low-toned voice as I started to dry-hump the younger.
We shouldn’t be doing this. Maling mali itong ginagawa namin. Even though I shouldn't be doing this, it excites me to see Mauro acting this way and seeing him enjoying what I'm doing. Mauro wrapped his hand around the back of my neck, ensnaring me while he licked my lips. He moved his hips slightly to press his hardness against my beneath part, letting out a tiny moan.
“Kahit anong pilit mo akong itulak palayo, you can’t get enough of me, di ba?” I was taken aback by the gentleness of his words, to the point where I returned to consciousness and started to question what I had done.
“Gusto ko na umuwi. I-uwi mo na ako ngayon din, Mauro.” Agad naman akong bumalik sa kinauupan ko. Ako ay nakatitig lang sa bintana at hindi ko na siya muli tiningnan.
“We’re almost there, kuya Mine.”
“Alam ko.” Inerepan ko lang siya dahil kitang kita ko sa gilid na naka ngiti siya. Mukha siyang tanga, nakakainis.
“You know that my feelings for you are sincere, Mine. Matagal na kitang gusto.”
“Kung sincere ka talaga, bakit wala na yung kuya.”
“Gusto mo talaga ang agenda na yan ah. Sige, ibibigay ko sayo yan”
“I hate you, Mauro. Nagbago ka na.”
“No, you won’t hate me. I’m still the Meowro you love, just in a different font.” Sakto ay nasa gate na kami ng bahay nang bumaba ako ako agad sa sobrang irita ko sa kanya.
“Ewan ko sayo. Wag ka na magpapakita sa akin na hinayupak ka.”
“Bye, kuya Mine.”
𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦. 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘥𝘮𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦.
End of CHAPTER I~