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It's A Funny Old Game

Summary:

It's a funny old game, life, love and football....
A/U Robert returns to Emmerdale, an England international footballer, home from France to play in the Premiership. He's single and still has a reputation with the ladies. A game of spin the bottle and a dare from his sister changes everything.

Notes:

I've been away from England for quite a long time now and have completely lost touch with a lot of the celebs and hardly watch football anymore, so no characters are based on anyone in particular. Any similarities are accidental and there are characters and nationalities who represent obvious stereotypes...... someone has to be the bad guy.

Chapter 1: Playing The Field

Chapter Text

Robert

Adam grins at me, "You've definitely livened up the teatime session, I'll say that for you Robert Sugden. You want another?"

"Yeah why not. I think I'm going to need it." Vic comes into the bar smiling at me, I can tell she's secretly really pleased I'm here, though she's trying not to let it show too much. I can't get over how she's grown up....., and married, who'd have thought it. Unlike me she's always been a home bird; I knew she'd most likely stay and settle down in Emmerdale.

I'd been prepared for all the comments and stares, it was inevitable coming back here after all these years. I look around the pub whilst Adam orders us another round. There's quite a few new faces in the village, all wanting a look and to hear the gossip no doubt. Adam puts his arm round Vic's shoulders as she joins us, "Hey Vic, I didn't know your brother would make such a stir other than the obvious of being famous and all that."

I shake my head in mock dismay at such a comment. Vic still has that ability to smile and frown at me all at the same time, her voice mildly scolding, "Hmmmh, that's really not a good thing."

Diane is smiling at me fondly, "As you see Adam, Robert here had a reputation even all those years ago."

Chas pipes up, glaring at me from where she is standing next to Diane. She still drinks her half of lager with a straw I see, "Yep, Robert's still some up himself footballer playing the field as much as when he left; nothing's changed."

I have to laugh, Chas is right on that score and Emmerdale's still full of people just like her, boring villagers with long memories. This was part of the reason I left, I wanted more than this. I'm so going to regret coming back, but after deciding to finish the last few years of my playing career in England, I had felt the pull of home. I don't know why really, I've been away a good ten years and have hardly given Emmerdale a thought in all that time; but recently it's been there, nagging at the back of my mind. It is somehow time to come home. "If I'd known I was going to get this much grief, I wouldn't have come back. It's nice to know village life hasn't changed over the years."

Diane puts her hand on mine, "Don't be like that Robert, it's nice to see you home. It's not surprising really, people all read the magazines and well, you did leave a certain impression with everyone from before you left." She's smiling at me and then gives Chas a mildly scolding look, who just pulls a face at her and goes to serve someone.

.

I jibe back, "Thanks very much Diane, you're supposed to be on my side. I don't see the problem. I'm not married, not cheating on anyone. I like to have a good time, there's nothing wrong with that is there?"

A familiar voice chips into the conversation, "Some role model for the younger generation, hardly setting the moral bar are you? Taking advantage of all those girls throwing themselves at you."

I look across to Nicola, "It's not just girls you know. You'd be surprised, I get all types and ages throwing themselves at me and if they're willing, who am I to deny them the pleasure." I pause, it's time to play, "Anyway you're one to talk, I seem to remember you playing the field back in the day." I can see her blush, regretting she had said something before she had thought about it. Vic's looking at me in despair and Adam's laughing as I continue, I'm in mischievous mood, "I mean there's a lot to be said for the more mature woman don't you think Nicola? Would you like to see how my skills have improved?"

Adam almost chokes on his drink as he looks at me and Vic just shakes her head, staring at me with her mouth open. Adam can't resist to ask, "What, you and Nicola had a thing?"

Chas is back next to Diane smirking at me, seeing Vic hadn't known this. There's no love lost with Chas, either with me or Nicola, "Did you not know Vic? Nicola here popped young teenage Rob's cherry." Nicola looks mortified.

I smile playfully at Chas and then to Vic, "It wasn't really a thing. I do seem to remember though, that she has this really cute....."

Nicola jumps in, her face bright red, "You continue Robert Sugden and the only thing you'll be dribbling is with a straw in your mouth in intensive care" I grin at her, it had been good with Nicola; she was just as feisty back then, it had been part of the lure.

Adam is now well and truly laughing at me as I wink back at him. "Is there anyone in the village under the age of fifty that you didn't sleep with back then?"

"Well there was Chas," I put on the innocent voice I do so well. It's time to get my own back, "It wasn't through the lack of her trying it on though, but it just didn't feel right, you know?" I can see Diane frowning, unimpressed with me but I don't care; Chas has to be able to take it as well as give it.

.

Adam continues, oblivious to the glare I am now getting from Chas. "Anyone take your fancy now then?"

I look around the pub. He tips his head in the direction of a blonde lass, Carly I think she is called, she keeps staring over in my direction and I smile at her and turn back to him, "Well I'd give her a go, you know how it is." I finish the last of my pint, I've already had more than I should. "Anyway I'd best be off, I'll see you for dinner later. I need to go get my car sorted, it's making a funny noise. I take it there's still the garage in the village?"

Some young guy walks in from out the back of the pub and comes round to stand next to Adam. Vic looks at him, "Aaron'll fix your car for you won't you Aaron?" She looks at me and then back to him....., Aaron. "He's a mechanic."

Aaron pulls a face, "Vic, I've just got finished after a long day. I'm cold, I'm tired and I really need a pint."

Vic pulls the sweetest of faces, they clearly know each other well as she puts her arms on his shoulders, "Please......, pretty please? Just for me?" I watch him as he moves her off him and turns to his pint which Chas has just put in front of him.

I interrupt, "Look you don't have to. It's fine, I can get it sorted at a real garage." Chas is giving me the death stare and Vic smacks my arm. I turn to Aaron who is the only one who doesn't seem bothered that I had said this, "Sorry, that was rude of me. Really though it's fine."

He huffs, Vic is still clinging onto his arm with her pleading look. His eyes sparkle with amusement at her, "Oh god....... alright. Anything for some peace and quiet." He looks across at me, "Give me your key's, I'll drop it off later." I nearly say something, but I decide not to and hand him my keys. My fingers brush his hand slightly, but he doesn't react and I'm distracted by Vic saying something; then when I turn back, he's already gone. Interesting....., he's practically the only person in the pub that didn't give a reaction to who I am. Not everyone's a United fan, but as England Captain I tend to be forgiven for that; I suppose he might not be into football. I assume he knows who I am, because he didn't ask for where to bring the car back or for my name. Nice eyes though....., very nice eyes.

.

I'm putting my coat on when I hear another voice I haven't heard in a very long time, "Well well well, look what the cat's dragged in." I take the last drink of my pint before I turn round.

"Nice to see you too Katie, still keeping those claws nice and sharp I see."

"Now now Robert." I look across at Diane who is giving us both an admonishing look.

"Right I'm off." I turn back to Katie, "How would you and my dearest brother like to join us for dinner tonight at mine? Diane and Vic's are coming over. We could do the whole family bonding thing?" Her look gives me her response, "What no....? Oh well, maybe another time."

"Not in my lifetime."

"As you wish." I turn back to the others giving a quick smile, "See you around seven?" They nod and I leave to walk up-to Home Farm, my new home.

TBC