Chapter Text
Izuku Midoriya was born July 15th at 06:36 in the early morning. His father, Hisashi Midoriya, and mother, Inko Midoriya, used to call him their little blessing. Inko had since long wanted a big family, four to six children she had told him once.
So, naturally, his parents tried for a family. And they kept trying for a long time to get pregnant, only to later be told that Inko’s fallopian tubes were slightly blocked and therefore getting pregnant had suddenly become damn near impossible. But there he was, a green haired little baby boy, weighing in at 3,4 kg and measured at 49 cm. Crying and screaming at the cold air and wanting the comfort of the inside of his mom’s belly.
When baby Izuku was three, his mother had taken him to a park near their home. It was there that his life had changed forever, according to his three-year-old brain. Izuku had fallen from a bright red slide and hit the sand underneath him hard and had immediately started bawling his eyes out, screaming out for his mom to help ease his pain.
It was then that the boy had heard, “What the hell are you crying for?” The green haired boy paused his screaming and opened his eyes to look up at the bright yellow that glowed above him. The sun shone so brightly behind the other boy that it looked as if a halo had appeared around the blond's head. His hair was shining almost as brightly as the sun.
“Wha-?” The greenet, still firmly seated on the sand with now dried tears on his cheeks, gaped up at the other as if in awe, mouth ajar.
“I asked what you were crying for, dumbass! You barely fell a meter, I saw the whole thing you crybaby!” The other boy yelled at him. And although the other was clearly waiting for an answer, the only thing Izuku could do was to stare. A now visible little frown was plastered on the blond’s face while he glared down at the other. That was the first time Izuku had seen Bakugou Katsuki's eyes, they were bright like his hair and red, such a pure and saturated red. All the smaller could do was simply gaze at his newly found treasure.
Whatever was going through the little boy's mind was too much for him to comprehend, all he knew at that moment was that there was a boy with glowing hair and bright red eyes looking only at him. “Oi, can’t you talk or something, are you mute? What's your name!”
“Um, I-Izuku,” the blond had then smirked and for Izuku’s little and inexperienced brain, it felt as if his world suddenly paused, rearranged itself after the blond and then resumed spinning only around the other.
“Oh, so you can talk!” The boy smirked before he continued, “Name’s Bakugou Katsuki, and you better remember it!”
That had been Izuku's first meeting with Bakugou Katsuki, and he indeed never forgot that name.
The blond had picked him off the sand that day, and ever since Izuku had followed him around, blinded by the shine the other let out. Izuku followed Katsuki in awe of everything the blond did. He seemed to shine so brightly, and at times it felt like Izuku was the only one who could look into the other's brightness.
Izuku Midoriya had made his first ever friend.
Given the short time between the two birthdays, they had spent their fourth birthday together. The both of them already had an obsession with All Might, the superhero in their favorite show. Now that they spent almost every second of every day together, thay had nurtured each other’s obsession into pure mania. The both of them had been over the moon when they had gotten matching sets of All Might sheets and figurines for their birthday. And although the blond had bragged about how he had gotten more presents than Izuku had, the greenet had only looked at him with the same starstruck expression as always.
They had also spent their fifth and sixth birthdays together.
When they were six, Izuku’s mother had taken the both of them to a little lake near their hometown. It was pretty private , the forest was all around them and you had to walk for at least fifteen minutes to get to the opening. Inko had walked behind the both of them, all three trailing this little desired path. As soon as they came to the clearing, they both stopped to stare for a bit.
“Race you there nerd,” the blond had then suddenly taken off in the direction of the lake.
“Kacchan! That’s cheating,” the little whined, while the other laughed his little menacing laugh that he had.
The both had spent the day playing in the little lake, butt naked, and laughing all day long. It wasn’t until later that the two had walked off from Izuku’s mother in secret.
“Kacchan, where are we going? Mom’s gonna get mad at us.” The smaller stressed while, as always, he followed his Kacchan.
“Stop whining! A little yelling is nothing. My mother yells at me all the time,” he had replied with a little eye roll, “What, can’t even handle that ‘Zuku?”.
‘Zuku, that had been Katsuki’s nickname for the other. In reality, it had simply been because the other hadn't bothered to be corrected, and also because he had found that it rolled off the tongue much easier than when he actually pronounced the ‘I’. But in Izuku’s head the boy had come up with a nickname just for him.
“Yes I can!” The greenet answered with a huff and a pout, which earned him a smirk from the other as he kept walking. “But I’m getting tireeedd Kacchan,” he had whined. It had felt as if they had walked for hours when it had, in fact, barely been five minutes.
“You’re such a crybaby ‘Zuku!” the blond decided as he kept walking, not looking back at the smaller. “We’ve walked, at most, 200 meters with how slow you’re being.”
“I don’t know how far that is Kacchan,” he had again whined, a bit quieter this time, in shame.
“You’re such a dumbass ‘Zuku,” the blond kept mumbling. For a solid minute, while the greenet suffered behind him. The blond had a habit of mumbling a lot, usually as soon as the other had a thought that he didn’t verbally express he was mumbling. Nothing that was usually coherent, except maybe a few words, but mumbling non the less.
They had been walking along a plank that was working as a bridge between two ledges with a short drop underneath, when Izuku twisted his ankle and fell, hitting the ground. Being the drama queen that he was at that age, he had immediately started crying. Screaming as loud as his throat and lungs could manage.
“‘Zuku!” The smaller looked to the side while still crying, at his best friend as he slid down the other side of the ledge.
“K-kacchaaann!” He wailed and hiccuped. “I f-fell,” he continued to sob.
“Yeah I figured,” the greenet couldn’t really see his best friend all that well through the giant tears that were in his eyes and streaming down his face.
“You’re bleeding,” the blond commented, putting a hand beneath the backside of the other's knee, lifting his leg up a little.
“What!” If anything this made him panic and cry even more than he had before.
“Will you calm down! You’ll be fine,” even though he tried to remain calm and collected, the greenet could hear a small amount of fear in his voice. For some reason this made the greenet calm down a bit, resulting in only a few hiccups. The fact that Katsuki was a bit afraid as well made it feel okay, like he wasn’t alone.
“C’mon, get up,” the taller helped Izuku up and then squatted down in front of the greenet. “Kacchan, what are you doin?” He questioned with a sniffle.
“Get on, I’m carrying you back,” he huffed.
“What! No Kacchan, I’m fine, really!”
“Get on nerd!”
“But-”
“‘Zuku!” He finally caved and got comfortable on the other’s back as he carried him back.
They finally got back to the lake after ten minutes of struggling, to a frantic Inko. When the green mother had laid eyes on the pair she had run over to them, scolded the both of them all the way home and then patched her son up.
They sat quietly in shame on the couch until Katsuki's mom came to pick him up.
✯✯✯
They had continued to spend their seventh, eight, ninth, tenth, and eleventh birthday together. Izuku was happy, his best friend Kacchan was the best at everything. He could and did do anything and everything he wanted to! Kacchan is amazing. Izuku was beyond happy, as happy as a child could be. He was ecstatic every time he got to see the blond, it came to the point that his mother had to “train” him to become less attached to Kacchan. They seemed to come as a package deal, hand in hand, through thick and thin in every aspect.
At least until their twelfth birthday came around and Kacchan had chosen not to participate in their joint birthday. Izuku’s mother and father had asked him why, had asked him if anything had happened, if they had fought. Izuku hadn’t answered them and spent the rest of his twelfth birthday locked in his room looking at the pictures Kacchan had posted. It was as if the blond was taunting Izuku, Katsuki never used his socials. He barely even texted people. So when Izuku saw that smirk, the smirk that always made his stomach turn and twist, knowing that Izuku wasn’t there to be the cause of it? It made Izuku feel some type of way, an uneasy and unfamiliar feeling crept up into his stomach.
Kacchan had suddenly in their first year of middle school turned on him. His best friend, his first and only friend, had suddenly started to pick on him. At first Izuku ignored it, still following the blond everyware, like a mosquito drawn to the light. But then the insults had turned into pushes and harcher words, minor things really but it made Izuku feel like his world had crumbled underneath him.
“Get the fuck away from me!” Kacchan had suddenly turned around, meeting Izuku head on. “I swear, every fucking time I turn around there you are! You keep following me like a lost fucking puppy. It’s creepy, it’s like you’re fucking obsessed with me!” The blond had suddenly shouted at Izuku. It hit the greenet like a wave of bricks. Sure Kacchan had seemed a bit distant lately, but he had never shouted at him. At least never like this, as if he was actually angry and disgusted with all of Izuku.
“Well, b-because you’re my best friend Kacchan!” The green haired boy answered with a worried tilt of his head and a warry smile plastered on his face.
Katsuki scoffed, “Jesus you’re pathetic. Like a fucking leach that I can’t get the fuck off!” Katsuki had spat at the floor by Izukus feet. Izuku didn’t know how to react, didn’t know what to say to make it better. So scared and panicked, Izuku kept following the only friend he had ever made in hopes that whatever he had done wrong would be forgiven and that he could have his best friend back.
“Stop following me the fuck around Deku!” The blond had then pushed him, sending him to the floor. Deku, that had been Izuku’s new nickname. For a year now Kacchan had not ever uttered his given name or his late nickname for him. No, he was now Deku. Which Katsuki had classified as ‘useless’ , he thought it was a fitting name. That he was leaching off Kacchan so much, that he was otherwise useless.
Izuku had cried himself to sleep on his twelfth birthday and then again on his thirteenth, again on his fourteenth and fifteenth and sixteenth.
Kacchan never did forgive Izuku. For whatever he had done, and although Kacchan never went further than a few slaps or pushes, his lackeys sure didn’t stop there. When Izuku was thirteen, he had come home with his first ever bruise, his mother had cried and his father was positively livid. They had called the school, screaming at them to punish whoever was responsible. Izuku came home even more beaten up later that week. It had been a lesson to ‘not snitch’. The calls to the school had eventually turned from multiple a week and slowly faded out into none again. His teachers looked the other way and it became the norm for his parents and everyone in his class. Although his mom did still come into his room at night, crying and apologizing to Izuku. As if it was her fault.
Izuku hated himself, he had no one. He was all alone, no one wanted him, no one wanted to be friends with him. People at school looked at him in disgust, as if he was a parasite that should be killed off. Maybe they were right, maybe he should die, maybe he should do everyone a solid and kill himself.
On his fourteenth he had looked himself in the mirror, staring for hours, minutes? Seconds? It didn’t matter, as long as he had to until he looked disfigured, until he had no face and couldn’t recognise himself. He had cried again, it seemed he was bound to cry every year on his birthday.
On his fourteenth birthday Izuku Midoriya had gone into his bathroom crying and shaking, he was terrified. Of what he didn’t know, of Kacchan? His lackeys? Of himself even? It didn’t matter, he didn’t care. He had somehow ripped the head of his mother’s razor apart in a heep of frustration and had cut himself for the first time. They were deep but short, three of them in total. Izuku had then slumped back against the bathroom wall while sitting on the floor, feeling the adrenaline pumping through him, and welcomed a numbness that took over his body. He had later on cleaned up his thigh, stood up, disposed of the now broken razor head and hidden the blade in his room.
Izuku had one time seen his childhood friend walk into the classroom with a matching bruise to Izuku’s. It was big and purple and ugly and right on his eye, forcing it shut. Hiding one of those bright red eyes that Izuku still somehow loved so much. The greenet had felt worry build up in his chest, then frustration and anger for feeling worried for someone who had thrown him as food to the dogs. Kacchan had simply scoffed at his friend telling them they ‘should see the other guy’ which made Izuku frown in his seat.
Izuku's routine over the years had turned into: waking up, eating breakfast, going to school, getting beaten or pushed around by Kacchan’s lackeys (since Kacchan himself was apparently too busy to even bother), then going home, studying and finally going to bed. Only to repeat the same steps the following day. He was home by seven almost everyday. The latest he had ever been was around nine or eight only because his bus had run late. He had come home to a hysterical mother that night. She had screamed at him, telling him he should have called if he was going to be late, that she was worried sick about him. She thought he was hurt, or laying dead in a ditch somewhere. Izuku didn’t realize until much later how weird and excessive the reaction was. That his schedule had become so tight that his mother thought he was dead only because he came home an hour or two later than usual.
Izuku had, at the ripe age of fifteen, jerked off for the first time. Since his schedule didn’t allow him much time to be out and about to see much and had kept his thoughts busy at all times, Izuku had simply not felt the need or desire to in any way. Nor had anything upped his libido enough to experiment. That was until he had seen Mike Vitar playing Benny in the movie The Sandlot 1993 . Izuku had stared at the screen of his parents' TV as they watched the film, having no clue that their son was sitting there having his sexual awakening at the late age of fifteen. It was as if a switch had been flipped in his mind. The boy immediately went into his room after the film ended and jerked off.
Not much later that same year had Izuku come home from school to the horror of seeing his fan-boying pictures of All Might, Mike Vitar and other half naked men and women splayed out on the living room table. His mother in tears and father clearly feral. For some reason, in Izuku's underdeveloped brain, he thought it would be smarter to have physical pictures. That they would be easier to hide, that he'd have more "control" of them. He thought it'd be easier for his parents to see something on his phone, whether it be on his search history or in his photo album or somehow on his phone bill. If Izuku could choose one moment in his life to go back to and change it would be this, he would have thrown those stupid pictures in the trash, would have burned them up.
Hisashi Midoriya wasn’t an abusive man, he was not mad often and never ever hit his wife or son. That changed that same night. For the first time Izuku had gone to sleep with a fresh bruise on his face, only this time it was the result of his father instead of the guys at school. Of course, no one would even know the difference.
Izuku does not remember much of that day. His father had screamed and his mother had cried, Hisashi had screamed for an explanation as to why his mother had found pictures of half naked men in his desk drawer. Izuku had turned to his mother then when she had cried and apologized, saying that she was simply cleaning and didn’t think his father would do this. The evening had dragged on late into the night. His father had eventually hit him when Izuku finally caved and told them he was bisexual. His father had left the house for the night and Izuku had left his crying mother and the pictures in the living room. He had cut himself and went to bed.
When Izuku was sixteen, his father left for good. That year, Izuku hadn’t seen much of Kacchan at all. His lackeys had apparently grown tired of him because they had stopped picking on him as well. They didn't even look his way now. Not much later Izuku's mother had decided that it was time for them to move. It was apparently ‘the best for the both of them’ all of a sudden. Izuku didn't have much of a say in the matter, so in the middle of the school year Izuku and his mother had up and left within a week and moved away from his childhood home.
✯✯✯
When Izuku had begun high school in the new town he hadn't expected much to change. He was used to everyone looking down on him, with a look that told him they wanted to spit in his face. But during his first week of high school, a brunette had walked up to him with a bright smile.
“Hi, I haven't seen you around before. You’re new right?” The girl smiled at him, it had shocked Izuku to his very core. It struck him just then that no one except his mother and father, Kacchan or strangers, had smiled at him like this. It was usually a scrunched up face that was turned towards him.
“O-oh, yeah. I-I am,” Izuku answered in his panic, only now realizing this was his first actual conversation with a girl.
“Well nice to meet you, I’m Ochaco Uraraka!” The girl stretched out he had for Isuku to shake, which he hesitantly did. “Um, Izuku Midoriya.”
Izuku had at the age of sixteen made his second ever friend, and then a third and a fourth. At the end of Izuku's first high school year he had three close friends and even some acquaintances.
Ochaco Uraraka, Shoto Todoroki and Tenya Lida.
Izuku had thought that the worst parts of his life were over, that it would be better, easier. How could it get any worse than his father leaving because of him? But then he had been invited to his first high school party, or first party ever. It wasn’t a big event, there were a few people there, music, dancing, no alcohol for him and he was home by eleven. Early as it may be for some, it was the latest he had ever come home, from anything.
He had walked through the door, as if nothing. Took off his shoes, his jacket and happily walked towards his room only to stop when he saw his mom sitting in the kitchen. Most of the house was dark, almost no lamps on so he had assumed his mother had gone to sleep, Apparently not.
“Where have you been Izuku?” His mom asked. She lifted her head, revealing red and swollen eyes. Had she been crying?
“Mom, are you alright?” Panic and worry filled him quickly, seeing his mother so down.
“Answer the question Izuku!” A bit taken aback by the sudden raise in her voice, he took a moment to collect himself before answering. “I went out with Uraraka. I-I told you that two days ago?”
“Yes, but I expected you to be home by eight. As usual, ” she had a certain edge to her voice that Izuku hadn’t ever heard from her, it was unnerving.
“Oh, I’m sorry I just assumed-”
“You assumed wrong! You are not allowed to be out past eight Izuku!” She had suddenly yelled, he had agreed simply because he was tired and shocked at his mothers behaviour. He wanted the conversation to be over, but he had not anticipated how stuck his mother would get on this.
✯✯✯
“Ochaco I’m serious. I don’t think I can. My mom would never let me!” He stressed.
“You’ll be fine and home on time I promise!”
“Ocha-”
“Uraraka, if Midoriya does not wish to go you should not force him!” Lida had interrupted before he could get his own defense out.
“My father also does not want me out late.”
“Yes but you don’t care what your father wants, Todoroki,” Ochaco smiled at him.
“Also very true.”
Izuku sighed, “Look I want to, I really do! But my mom was so mad last time,” he stressed once again.
“And again, I will make sure you’re home by eight o’clock. Scouts honor,” she straightened her back and drew a cross over her heart.
“Uraraka you are not, nor have you ever been a scout! You cannot give scouts honor if you have never been one,” Lida waved his hands around in a shopping motion which only resulted in the girl laughing.
"Sorry, sorry. But honestly Izu, live a little!”
“Yes, it would be fun to have you around at a party, Midoriya,” Todoroki added, with a hint of a smirk on his features.
“Okay fine, but I’m home by eight! I'm not kidding!”
“I will take full responsibility if you are not home by then Midoriya. I trust your mother’s decisions.”
“Thanks Lida,” Izuku nervously chuckled.
Asking his mother for permission to go out went a lot easier than he would have ever thought. She almost immediately allowed it, with a quick “You already know what time you are to be home.” It wasn't a question, but Izuku answered ‘yes’ anyway. He was ecstatic, he was going to a party!
Uraraka had helped him pick out an outfit, which ended up with him in low waisted, straight, blue jeans and a tight fitting crop top which left room for the strap of his underwear to be out for the public to see. Uraraka had insisted that he looked good even though he was a bit uncomfortable. He also thought it was weird for his underwear to be seen by everyone, but again, Uraraka had promised him that it was fine. She topped his outfit off with a bit of eyeliner and concealer, she had tried to get him into a black pair of converse but he was loyal to his one and only red chunky sneakers.
The both of them had left Izuku's house by 17:30, gotten on the bus and met up with Lida and Todoroki by the house; they had apparently both been dropped off by a family member.
“It’s still pretty early so there probably aren’t that many people here yet,” Uraraka told Izuku, a bit bashfully for some reason.
“Well that’s fine! You’re all here,” the greenet had answered, not really understanding why all three of them looked at him with a hint of pity.
“Well let's go then,” Todoroki said in the same mellow voice as always, turning around and heading inside.
Uraraka had been right, there was barely anyone here, which seemed a bit weird to the greenet since Todoroki and Uraraka had been hyping this party up for the longest time. But either way he had fun, the first thing Todoroki had done was gone and gotten Izuku and himself a shot.
“Wha- where did you get this!?”
“My brother, he got me two bottles of vodka to share with all of you,” there was the tiniest bit of a mischievous smirk on his lips that was unsettling in many ways.
“Ah, what would I ever do without your brother,” Uraraka had sighed dreamily, snatching one of the bottles that had apparently been in the plastic grocery bag Todoroki was carrying around, and had gone to the kitchen with Lida on her heels exclaiming how she should drink responsibly.
“Well, bottoms up,” the multicolored hair boy proceeds to then throw back the shot and in basically the same gulp takes a swing from a soda he had in his other hand.
“Ugh, disgusting,” he then pushed the side forward for Izuku to take. The greenet accepted it, took a deep breath and followed the same steps as his friend. Although he had apparently taken too long of a pause between the shot and the soda, and had immediately been ready to puke the shot back up, when Todoroki pushed the soda to his lips telling him to quickly drink.
“That was so bad! Why would you ever drink this!?” The shorter had cried, taking deep breaths and trying to rid the urge of throwing up. The other simply shrugged, “To get drunk faster I guess. I don’t really like drinks, it just makes the taste stay longer.”
It was abundantly clear that the others had been to parties before with alcohol that they had not even told Izuku about. “Oh,” he had intelligently answered when he suddenly understood why. “Next shot?”
Izuku had collectively during the night taken three shots and was on his second drink, which was some blend of someone else's vodka and juice found in the fridge that had been raided. People had suddenly spawned out of nowhere it seemed like, and Izuku was completely gone. He had lost the other’s way early into the night and was at the time in the kitchen with a random group of people, laughing while they searched the fridge and gave ice cream to anyone walking by.
“Yo! This is my favorite song!” One of the guys had suddenly screamed, he then proceeded to take Izuku’s hand and dragged him onto the dancefloor. The greenet laughed, drunk off of his own ass and followed, drinking up whatever he had left in his mug, and started dancing and jumping.
He had apparently at some point during the night blacked out because he was now outside sitting by the pool and talking to a new set of people he’d never met before, having no recollection of why or when that had happened.
He was having fun, the night had been fun. He had met up with Todoroki at some point, that he knew, but had then lost him again. He had danced a lot, he had met new people and talked to many more, he had at some point locked himself in a bathroom with two others and talked for what was probably an hour, and was now outside with his bare feet in the warm water talking with three people he had never -and probably will never- see again. He was relaxed and content and glad he had said yes to going out.
Up until Uraraka had run up to him out of nowhere. “Fuck, Izuku there you are!”
“Urarakaaa! Oh my god, I’ve missed yooouu,” he let out a little giggle, standing up to hug her.
“I’m having sooo much fuun, thank you for dragging me out!” he had honestly thought he had sobered up more than this, but he was apparently still drunk out of his mind. He doesn’t even know where he got the extra drinks and shots from.
“Midoriya! Where have you beeenn,” Todoroki had literally spawned by the greenet's side, putting an arm around his shoulders.
“Todoroki! It’s been like daaayyss,” he exasperated, remembering the quick twenty minutes during the night that they had met up.
“Jesus, you’re both so fucking drunk,” the girl had said, breaking up Todoroki’s and Izuku's reunion with a frown.
“Izuku I’ve been looking for you for the past, like, hour! You have to get home now.”
That had sobered Izuku up. Honest terror creeped up through his body, with wide eyes he pulled up his forgotten phone. The first thing he saw was that she was 23:57, the second was Lida’s and Uraraka’s combined ten missed calls and four messages and then third, his mothers; 57 missed calls and 132 unread messages, but the most horrid part was the fact that she had stopped calling and messaging him two hours ago. The boy was shaking, tears welling up in his eyes so fucking quick that it had to be some kind of record.
“F-fuck,” he had no idea what to do, suddenly the night had turned cold and dark. The anxiety welled up inside him, consuming him whole, “I-I have to go.”
He just started walking, picking his shoes up, he didn’t even look up the way home and just started running. He ran to the bus stop they had walked from. God had apparently been on his side for this one thing because he had managed to make it on time to the last bus of the night. He called his mom, fully crying by now. No answer. He had messaged her as well, explaining that he lost track of time and that he was on his way home now, no answer. He was panicking at this point, he put his shoes on (no idea where his socks were) and the second the doors of the bus opened he had bolted.
The house was dark, no lights on, no TV, no noise. The unsettling feeling tripled before he even got into the house. The feeling of deja vú was so strong it was nauseating.
“M-mom?” The eerie silence was still there, tension thick in the air. “Mom?” He called again, this time he was answered by a sudden crash in the kitchen. “Mom!” The boy jogged to the kitchen seeing his mother sitting by the counter with a glass of whiskey in hand and a half filled bottle in her other.
“Well if it isn’t my ungrateful son,” she had basically spat at him, clearly drunk. She wasn't even drinking from the glass anymore he gathered when she took a full swing directly from the bottle.
“Do you know what time it is?”
“Y-yes,” the sight of his- usually sweet- mother drunk, was something he had never thought he would ever see. He didn’t even know there was alcohol in the house.
“Yes!? Care you explain why you’re home at half one in the fucking night then!” Her screaming had been as much of a shock as the drinking, but hearing his mother swear? Izuku was so utterly horror-struck.
“I-I lost track o-of time, a-and-”
“Jesus, stop fucking stuttering. You’re giving me a headache.” This was such foreign territory that the boy didn’t know how to handle it.
“Sorry. I lost track of time,” he breathed, trying to keep his voice steady.
“You lost track of time?” Her voice was so low, so steady. “I called you hundreds of times, Izuku.” She hadn't, he knew that. It didn’t matter. “I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t check my phone.”
“Why the fuck do I pay for your phone if you’re not even going to use it? God, my son is so ungrateful. Do you know how much-and how hard I’ve worked since your father left?” She was raising her voice. He couldn’t feel his body anymore with how still he stood.
“Ha!? I’ve had to pick up so many extra shifts to support you. I would have been fine on my own! And you’re not even grateful!”
“I am- I-” She had thrown her glass at him, just missing his head and hitting the wall behind him. He froze in his spot once again, eyes blown wide at what his mother had just done.
“Shut the fuck up when I’m talking! He left me because of you! He stopped loving me because of you!” She was screaming at the top of her lungs at this point, tears in her- and her son’s- eyes.
“I should have gone with him,” she finally whispered. Izuku didn’t know what to do, what should he do, what could he do?
“I don’t want to see your face, go to your room,” he had never moved from his mother quicker.
His mother had ignored him the following day, it was actually as if he didn't even exist. She made food only for herself, didn’t talk to him, didn’t look at him, didn’t welcome him home after school, didn’t answer him when he asked her questions, didn’t acknowledge him in any way. At the end of the day the both of them were sitting in the living room of their small apartment watching TV. She had then -out of nowhere- turned the TV off, gotten up and turned off all the lights, leaving her son there in the dark, as if she had been on her own the whole time. He had gone to his room, cried, cut himself, and then gone to sleep.
The day after that it was as if nothing at all had happened. She greeted him in the morning with a warm smile and a happy “Good morning, Izuku!” He followed her lead, smiled and greeted her back and continued on with the day like the two prior hadn’t happened.
Later on he realized how much of a mistake this was. He realized a lot of wrong things as time went on.
That wouldn't be the last time something similar happened, and it was certainly not the last time his mother was the reason for him cutting and crying himself to sleep. Izuku had continued going out and coming home “late” after that, assuming that they were on good grounds, that she had understood that she had overreacted.
Apparently not.
It was now normal for him when his mother stopped talking to him all together, sometimes days at a time.
She had gone so far, that she had brought two men home, at separate times, without telling him. She had apparently told them to ignore him as well. Which he was perfectly fine with until he realized how ugly it could get, when later on those same nights, he had heard them through the thin walls of their apartment. Moaning as if he wasn’t there.
He had somehow lost two parents in the span of barely two years.
✯✯✯
Izuku was seventeen when he met Yo Shindo. He had reminded him of a certain angry blond boy that he thought he'd forgotten.
Yo had gone to a neighboring school and they had met during a school trip, the two of them had hit it off and exchanged contacts. Izuku, being oh so dense when it came to romantics, had not realized that Yo was apparently flirting with him until Uraraka had so painfully pointed it out. She had been proven right when Yo finally asked him out on a date.
It was on their second date that they had made out for the first time. There was no first kiss, no first tingle of bubbliness. Yo had simply taken him to the back alley of the arcade they were at and pushed Izuku up against the cold concrete. The greenet had thought nothing of it, had simply kissed him back with the same vigor, being just as much of a horny teenager as his now apparent boyfriend.
Although, they hadn’t had sex until a month into the relationship when Yo had told him he was being inconsiderate of his feelings. He had said that Izuku made him feel disgusting when the greenet had derailed the topic of sex for so long. Izuku complied after that, the sex was good, it was fine, he didn’t have anything to compare it to so he had assumed that the uncomfortable and dry feeling was normal. Yo usually had an orgasm, so it was good, right? It was hard and rough and fast and Yo seemed to enjoy it a lot, so Izuku was fine with it.
When Izuku had brought Yo home for the first time it had been during one of his mother’s silent episodes.
“I’m home!” Izuku had shouted into the home, knowing fully well his mother wouldn’t answer.
“I thought you said your mom would be home?” His boyfriend had looked at him annoyingly, probably thinking he had been lying to the dark haired boy.
“She is,” questionably Yo followed his boyfriend into the small and old home, “Mom this is Yo Shindo, my boyfriend.”
The woman had turned around on the sofa and looked the other boy up and down, that was apparently a good enough reason to break his mother out of the silent treatment. Apparently a better reason than that one time Izuku had cut so deep on his thigh that he had bled on the floor on his way to the bathroom.
“Izuku baby, why haven’t you told me you’ve been dating!?” This was the worst part, the way his mother was continuously acting as if nothing at all was wrong with their relationship. As if ignoring her son for days on end were normal. As if being all sweet and kind and loving outside of that was okay, as if it was making up for the otherwise loss, as if it didn’t put a huge strain on their relationship. On top of that, he had talked to her about Yo, albeit during one of her episodes. That only proving that she was in absolutely no way listening to or caring about her son during those days.
The night had continued with the three of them sitting by the dinner table, talking for a few hours until the pair had gone to Izuku's room. “No funny business boys, door open!” She had told them. It was supposed to be a joke or a thing caring parents say to their children, but it just sounded unnatural, forced. Izuku had cringed inwardly. “Okay mom,” he had answered with a smile.
✯✯✯
Yo had taken Izuku with him -at some point in their relationship- to a gathering with only his friends. Izuku hadn’t known anyone else there other than Yo. It was a small apartment, Izuku had spotted mold in a few corners, there were weird dents and stains on the walls and carpets. There was a scrawny plastic table in the living room, a TV on the floor and two worn out couches. The kitchen had only the essentials, very few utensils and even fewer glasses and plates. The bathroom had a standing shower, toilet, a sink and two damp gray towels. He wasn’t allowed into any other rooms.
Izuku hadn’t asked how Yo had known these people, or how -at seventeen- they had moved out into their own apartment, he didn’t want to know. That had been the first time Izuku had tried drugs, harmless at the time, he had gotten high with his boyfriend. It being his first time, it didn’t really hit, although the third time Yo had rolled his boyfriend a joint, Izuku had gotten so fucking high he thought he was going to die. They had started smoking deep into the woods while it was pitch black outside. Yo and the others had gone ahead without Izuku. He had been so fucking terrified, seeing the craziest things in the shadows off the trees. He had later eaten so much he could barely breath and he felt like his heart was actually beating so hard and fast he was going to have a heart attack. Everything tasted both amazing and so bad at the same time, he was in a constant state of terror and had thought he was going to die right then and there. Yo had done nothing if not laugh at him.
He had woken up the next day, alive but alone. Yo had apparently left him at his friends’ house because he couldn’t get Izuku to move the night before. Izuku apologized profusely to Yo’s friend and left in a hurry. His mother didn’t talk to him for a week after that, it had been the first time Izuku had spent the whole night out without coming home. That had also been the longest amount of time yet that his mother had ignored him for.
Yo had introduced Izuku to so many different types of drugs; weed, hashish, LSD, ecstasy, lean, adderall, inhalants. Alcohol and cigarettes were at this point baby stuff to Izuku, many of these he had not taken more than once or twice but they were still on his list of usage. He never did inject anything, even though there were times he could’ve.
Yo had sometimes spent the highs with him, the two of them cuddling on a random person's couch, having sex while high off their asses, racing down the street, having fun and laughing, one time Yo had even baked for Izuku when they were high on weed. Other times Yo had left Izuku completely alone. At times Yo had simply left the party or the hang out they were at, and gone home. Not bothered to look for his boyfriend simply because he was too tired and wanted his own bed to sleep in. They got into arguments more and more frequently, once or twice Yo had kicked Izuku out of his house and forced the greenet to go home alone. Even if the plan had been for Izuku to sleep over and it was 3 in the morning.
Todoroki and his brother Touya had one time come to get Izuku when Yo had gotten him completely gone on speed and had then proceeded to leave him at a bus rest stop. Yo's explanation had been that he had taken Izuku to his bus, so he “should’ve been fine getting home”. That’s when Izuku confessed to Todoroki, in the backseat of Touya’s car, what Yo had given Izuku on multiple occasions. The greenet, in his low after the drug, told Todoroki about all the things he has had up his nose or down his throat. The times Yo had left him, and how he had, in his haziness, somehow gotten home. Needless to say, Todoroki and even Touya had told him to immediately break up with Yo.
About a month later, a month Izuku had spent hoping and praying for Todoroki to have forgotten the conversation, Uraraka, Lida and Todoroki held an intervention. They had made a long, long list of all the reasons why Yo was a bad boyfriend and why Izuku needed to break up with him. Just after Izuku's eighteenth birthday, when Yo had come over two hours late to the celebration, and on top of that being insanely high on whatever he was on, Izuku broke up with him.
✯✯✯
Uraraka and Lida had gotten together at some point of their seventeenth year of life, Todoroki had a few flings but nothing serious, and Izuku was now a single 18-year-old. He had sworn off relationships for the time being and made up for his plunging grades. He had somehow managed to get a scholarship majoring in architecture in one of his top three colleges. His mom had been overjoyed, what with her regretting having to financially take care of him and all.
Izuku spent his last summer training himself to be able to live a normal teenage life again, going to a few parties, drinking moderately, and not, under any circumstances, using anything harder than weed. Because he was still a stupid teenager who hated himself. He was happy, he was doing well in life.
His relationship with his mother was about the same, although she has now gotten used to him being out whole nights. Coming home at two or three in the morning after a party didn’t phase her anymore. Good to know that he has to go way over the limit and ruin himself for normal things to be okay with her. He could honestly not have been more overjoyed and relieved to move out of the dark and trapping apartment that was supposed to be his home.
Todoroki had gotten into the same school as Izuku, majoring in mechanical engineering. Uraraka and Lida were going to a college about an hour away from Izuku’s, although they were going to live in an apartment off campus together, so about half an hour from Izuku and Todoroki’s college.
Izuku was packed and ready early in the morning, his mother driving him all the five hours it took to get there.
“Izuku dear, are you sure school starts this early?” He had lied to her and told his mom school was starting in only a week, when it was in fact a month from now. The dorms were open early for anyone who wanted to move in, and today was the first day, so he wasted no time.
“Yes mom, either way I want to get there in time to pack up and meet my roommate and stuff,” he gave her that fake smile that he had trained down to a T.
“Okay dear.”
When they had finally arrived and Izuku had filled whatever paperwork needed a signature, they finally got to the good part. It took them two trips each to unload and get all of Izuku's belongings up to his dorm room. Izuku's mother was now giving him a very awkward, crying, hug goodbye.
“Mom I’ll be fine I promise.” It’s not like you took care of me much anyways.
“Oh, but I’m going to miss my baby!” Lies. He laughed, gave his mother a tight hug back and then as carefully as he could pried her arms off of him. They then finally parted ways.
As he had expected, the other half of the dorm room was completely empty with naked walls. It would honestly be nice to get settled in before having to meet his roommate. Although of course the universe seemed to hate Izuku's every bone, from the second he was done with unpacking. After having put his clothes away, put posters up, work on dressing the bed he could finally look at his completed room, pleased with the results, when he heard a very familiar,
“What the fuck.”