Work Text:
“Come on, show a bit of mercy to your fellow pirate mate.”
“Not a pirate, and we’re not mates,” Zoro said, inhaling softly as he sipped on his beer. It was one thing to be concerned about finding Nami; it was another thing to have a clown on board. Well, a clown’s head.
“Just because I don’t have a body doesn’t mean I won’t want to have a bit of food,” the clown said, hopping from the edge of the table to his plate, begging with his pleading eyes. “Won’t you be a darling and put that piece of meat in my mouth?”
“I’ll put something else in your mouth if you don’t shut up,” he said, slamming the knife down onto the wooden table before Buggy—the stupid looking clown—could shove his face at his dinner.
“What are you going to do? You’re gonna bleed on me again? Or you’re gonna put that shitty sword in my mouth?”
Zoro shouldn’t even have to babysit this head to begin with. It should have been Sanji, but the waiter had already snuck off to take a shower, while Usopp and Luffy were out on the deck talking about something he couldn’t be bothered to care about.
“I promise you, you shitty clown,” he said. “If you don’t shut up, I’ll make you regret it.”
“Oh, no, I’m so scared!” the clown quipped, feigning his horror. “The big, brooding bitch with the ugly green hair is going to put me in the barrel again! I’m terrified!”
He grabbed the clown’s head by his jawline, lifting it in the air. “Do you ever fucking shut up?”
“Fucking make me, little pirate hunter,” Buggy said, cackling in front of him. “You think you’re really going to scare me?”
He cursed under his breath when the clown darted his tongue out, swiping at his fingers. He grimaced, while the clown hopped back on the surface of the table, laughing all too victoriously. Just before he took a bite out of his dinner, Zoro yanked the knife from the table, grabbing the clown’s tongue with a sneer.
“Speak another word, and we’ll see if you can keep your tongue.”
“Can’t kill me, remember?” Buggy taunted him, eyes wide with insanity. “My tongue’s gonna be back in my mouth in no time.”
Zoro tried to calm his breath, and he let go of the clown, pushing himself up to his feet and leaving the table.
“Hey! Where are you going? Did I piss you off, matey?”
His laugh echoed in the room, and Zoro slammed the door shut behind him, seeing Usopp heading his direction, which was, for the first time, a relief for him.
“Your turn to take care of the clown,” he said. “I’m not babysitting him anymore.”
“Wait, what?”
*
It was an hour, at most. An hour he had some peace and quiet to himself in his own room. He trained, not too much so as not to bleed himself out, and rested on his hammock, until there was a knock on the door that ruined everything.
Usopp poked his head in, flashing him a guilty smile. “Hey, you gotta take him. I’m trying to build these smoke bombs, and he’s killing me with all his commentary.”
“Who else is going to tell you your bombs are stupid?” the clown said, and Usopp gave him a deadpan look.
“Yeah, you have to take him, Zoro. Just for a while.”
Zoro waved his hand as a gesture, and Usopp grinned, dropping the head onto the floor before he slammed the door shut. The clown made some noises of protest, complaining about his nose, but Zoro ignored him as he glanced down at his bandages.
Already stained with crimson in just a few hours. He must have trained harder than he should have.
He got off the hammock, padding towards the small table where Luffy had placed all the bandages, and undid his shirt. He stripped it off him, tossing it to the table.
“Bleeding out all by yourself, handsome?”
Zoro ignored the voice, untying his bandage and wincing at the slight throbbing in his torso. It reminded him of his fight with Dracule Mihawk, but it was less shameful now, or so he convinced himself, at least.
“How stupid does one have to be to go against a warlord? Even I’m not much of an idiot,” the clown said, hopping closer to him and leaping onto the table despite Zoro’s contempt. “Nor do I have a death wish.”
“What do I have to do to get you to shut your mouth?” he said, plucking his bandage away. “Should I throw your head out into the ocean?”
“Now, now, how will you find your friend then? Don’t be an idiot.” He cackled. “Although, that’s such a futile thing to say, since you were the fool that went up against Dracule Mihawk.”
Zoro turned away, unbuckling his belt, earning a whistle from behind him that made him inhale to calm himself down.
“Acting all shy now, matey? We’re all guys here,” the clown said, cackling behind him. “I live with my crew, all right? And, not to mention, I’m a guy myself. I got a cock.”
“I don’t see any now,” Zoro pointed out, kicking his jeans away. “Now you’re just a head with a hole for a mouth.”
“A mouth is a hole, little one. And, I’m a clown, at least my mouth work is good.”
He turned around, grabbing the new bandage from the table while the clown stared at him up and down. “Yeah, well, last I saw, you chained up people and made them laugh at your jokes. Doesn’t seem all that good to me.”
“Trust me, I’m good with my mouth.”
Zoro’s eyes flitted up to meet the clown’s gaze, and he raised an eyebrow. “How good are you?”
“Enough to make my own crew happy.” He cackled. “And you know what they said about detachable body parts. They come in handy.”
The corner of his lips curled up, amused, and he stepped closer, noticing the way Buggy’s eyes flickered down onto his cock for a mere second. There it was.
“Will that shut you up?”
Buggy’s eyes seemed to shine when he heard the question, and he said, “For a good five minutes, yeah.”
“Five minutes is too short.”
“And you think you can last longer?” The clown bared a smile, one that egged Zoro on further. “I gotta say, even Shanks couldn’t last that long, especially when he’s drunk.”
He cocked his head to the side, half curious and half entertained by the possible proposition the clown was making. It felt wrong; it might be wrong, but Zoro couldn’t be bothered to care.
“Go on, then,” he said. “Let’s see how good your mouth can do.”
“A little help here is appreciated, you know,” Buggy said. “I’m just a head, you gotta get closer, little pirate hunter.”
He yanked Buggy by the hair, making the clown hiss. “Watch your mouth.”
“Watch the hair!” he whined. “I only let a few people yank it, all right?”
“Am I supposed to feel flattered?”
“Could have been a little more grateful, you little shit.”
He rolled his eyes, taking a step closer to the table, loosening his grip on the clown’s hair. “Get on with it.”
Zoro had been with girls and, in a few rare cases, boys, but he had never been with a head before; saying it was weird would be an understatement.
However, saying that his cock didn’t react when Buggy darted his tongue out to lick at the slit would be a complete lie.
It was experimental, at first, as he flattened his tongue over the head of his cock, gliding it along the side of his cock. When he closed his mouth around his cock, taking the length inside him, Zoro inhaled sharply, gripping the edge of the table as Buggy hollowed his cheeks, sucking him in earnest, and it was better than all the mouths that had ever been on his cock.
“Fuck,” he murmured under his breath, clenching his jaw when Buggy’s tongue slid along the underside of his cock.
His movements were steady, like he had done this a lot of times before, and based on what he had told Zoro, he might have. With Luffy’s sort-of brother, no less.
The second he pulled away, Zoro groaned low in his throat, exhaling a breath. “Just a little heads up, you can fuck my mouth, pirate hunter,” Buggy said, his lips glistening wet with saliva. “And you can come in me, if you want to.”
“Open your mouth,” Zoro said, and the clown’s lips widened with glee.
“Liking my mouth now, do you?”
“Shut up.”
He grabbed his head, pushing his cock past Buggy’s willingly opened mouth, and didn’t stop until his cock hit the back of his throat. He gripped the blue hair in his hand, giving Buggy the first thrust, his cock throbbing in the warm heat of his mouth.
Buggy moaned; he did, in fact, moan around his cock, his sound vibrating against his cock, and Zoro fucked into his mouth, picking up a steady pace to drag out more whimpers from the clown. The noises he made weren’t too bad; they were sort of arousing, actually, making Zoro’s cock harden further.
He carded his fingers into Buggy’s hair, driving his cock into his mouth just to hear the stifled moans the clown made. It almost seemed as if he was going to choke, but instead, all he did was breathe and take Zoro even deeper, his eyes teary and smearing the paint on his face as it trailed down his cheeks.
The feeling was sort of addicting, to say the least. Zoro was enjoying stuffing the clown’s mouth full. Buggy didn’t use his teeth, his tongue worked wonders with every stroke, and he did not choke once on his cock.
Wide eyes flitted up to him, and Zoro fucked into his mouth faster, clenching his teeth at the building up arousal inside him. The muffled sound grew louder and more lewd, and Zoro let out a low groan, before he emptied himself inside the clown’s mouth.
His stomach pulled taut, and even then, he couldn’t stop thrusting into the deliciously warm mouth, burying it to the hilt as he stifled the whine Buggy let out. A pretty sound it was, coming from a clown.
Maybe Buggy did have a good mouth, after all.
*
The rapid knocks on the door made Zoro put his book down, and from the clattering outside, he could guess who it was already.
“Come in.”
Usopp poked his head in, holding a bunch of little smoke bombs in the palms of his hands, a bright smile plastered on his face.
“Zoro, look! I finally finished!”
“Okay,” he said, and Usopped looked around his room, eyebrows furrowing. “Is something wrong?”
“No, just wondering why I haven’t heard the clown for a while,” he said. “Did you throw him in the barrel again?”
Zoro inhaled gently, drawing a leg up on the hammock. “I shut him up.”
“Thank god, I was starting to think he could never stop blabbering his mouth!”
“Don’t worry,” Zoro said. “He can shut up. For an hour now.”
“That’s impressive! Did you stuff something in his mouth to shut him up?”
He cleared his voice, nodding. “You can say so.”
“Okay, good. I gotta go show Luffy what I made!”
The door slammed shut, and Zoro yanked the jacket from his lap, letting it drop to the floor. Buggy pulled away from his cock, a string of saliva breaking midair as he grinned.
“Boy, that one’s surely loud.”
“Did I tell you to stop?” he said. “You’ve been going for an hour, keep that going, clown.”
“The name’s Buggy, kiddo, and if you can’t play nice, I’d rather be in the barrel,” Buggy quipped, raising his eyebrows. At this point, the smeared paint around his mouth was already stained on Zoro’s cock.
“Buggy,” Zoro said, “get your mouth on my cock. Now.”
“Bossy,” the clown cooed, wiggling his eyebrows. “I like it.”
As he wrapped his mouth back around Zoro’s cock, he exhaled a deep breath, adjusting himself on the hammock. Finally, he’d found a way to shut Buggy up, and so far, it had proven very effective.
*
If truth be told, Zoro was kind of missing the presence of a mouthy clown head once he was gone. The clown had the audacity to leave after he and Sanji thought he could have helped. Of course he wouldn’t. Instead, he had returned to his full body and fled the scene.
With the party in Coco Village, the singing, the dancing, and the people celebrating their freedom, it distracted Zoro from the questionable thoughts in his mind. Like, why was he thinking about the clown and his fairly adequate mouth?
Sure, he had warmed Zoro’s cock enough times for him to get used to the feeling of having his warm mouth on him. Nonetheless, he shouldn’t be dwelling on this.
He leaned on the tree, gazing at the bonfire far away, where Usopp was telling stories of how he defeated Arlong and his crew in front of a group of kids. He smiled, lifting the bottle in his hand to take a gulp. Apparently, tangerine wine didn’t taste so bad.
Zoro looked over his shoulder when he heard a rustle, narrowing his eyes into the darkness behind him. It was possibly the wind. He placed his hand on his sword, anyway, just for precaution.
He pulled half of his sword out when another rustle came, and he whirled around, looking into the trees before him. Zoro looked down, and a smile crept up on his lips.
A hand. White gloved hand that was tapping on his shoe.
It climbed up onto his thigh, poking at his crotch, and Zoro smacked it to the ground. The hand didn’t falter, though, as he pointed to the woods.
“Fuck,” Zoro muttered under his breath, and he followed the hand as he escaped from the lively party.
It might be a bad idea, but something kept drawing him to the stupid clown. He could help it if he tried, but the problem was that he didn’t.
When he had gotten far enough, into the field of tangerine trees with no one around, the hand slipped away from him, flying back to its owner, who was leaning on one of the trees with his eyes on Zoro.
He waved his fingers at him, cocking his head to the side with one leg crossed over the other.
“Hi there, kiddo.”
“You could have called, like a normal person,” Zoro said, stepping forward and pushing his sword back into its sheath. “That’s what people do.”
“Well, I’m no normal, baby,” Buggy said, a smirk plastered on his face.
It almost seemed weird to see Buggy with his body as he approached the clown. He stopped before him and said, “What are you doing here? I thought you’d be long gone by now.”
“I would have. Should have, honestly.” The clown shrugged, folding his arms over his chest. “Figured it’d be better if I stayed for a while. Everyone’s celebrating, I might as well do it too.”
“What are you celebrating?”
“Getting my body, baby.” He smiled widely, like it was supposed to threaten Zoro. “You don’t know how badly I missed my limbs.”
“And how are you going to do that?” Zoro asked, and Buggy merely shrugged, uncrossing his legs to push himself off the tree.
“I don’t know. I do have a few ideas in mind, would you wanna hear about them?”
Of course, Buggy didn’t intend on hearing Zoro’s answer. He took a step forward, digging his gloved finger into Zoro’s chest.
“First, I was thinking, maybe I could get my mouth on you again, this time, I can use my hands,” he said, the corners of his lips turning up. “My second idea is that you can use another hole that’s not my mouth. I’ve heard that one’s good too.”
Zoro swallowed, inhaling softly. “And is there a third idea?”
“Oh, yes, absolutely, pirate hunter,” Buggy cooed, tapping two fingers on his chest and trailing them up his sternum, unbuttoning his shirt as he went. “Third, maybe, you could fuck my mouth, and then you could fuck me. Doing both is always the better option, isn’t it?”
He shoved the clown against the tree, dragging out a breathy laugh from him before he crashed their mouths together. His hand fisted in Buggy’s shirt, and their mouths slotted perfectly together. Buggy made the same sounds when he kissed, soft moans muffled by the kiss as he tugged at Zoro’s shirt.
Their tongues glided against each other, hot and fervent. Zoro grabbed him by the waist, pulling him flush against him, his hands winding around the back to easily slip his hands inside Buggy’s pants.
“Someone’s eager tonight,” Buggy murmured against his lips, grinning smugly. “Can’t wait to stuff me full, huh, pirate hunter?”
“Shut the fuck up,” he said, claiming Buggy’s lips again to quiet him down.
Another way to shut the clown up, and it was a quite effective way, to say the least.
He pushed the jacket off Buggy’s shoulders, trailing open-mouthed kisses along the column of his neck, pushing the scarf away. He grunted, unable to stop himself from pushing into the teasing hand that was cupping his cock through his pants. He
“My, it’s even bigger than I remember it,” Buggy cooed, hissing softly when Zoro bit down on the side of his neck. “Into biting too, huh, I should have known.”
He grabbed Buggy by the shirt and turned him around, pressing him up against the tree, one hand pushing his leather pants down.
“Could just fuck me right away, baby; I already did everything that’s needed.”
He ground his clothed cock against Buggy’s ass, pulling out a soft noise from the clown. He smiled.
“Careful there, clown, or I might think you’re more desperate for me to fuck you than I think you are.”
“Why don’t you get on with it, and you’ll see?”
A smile appeared on his lips, and he mouthed a kiss over the nape of his neck, unzipping his jeans to free his cock. Buggy spread his legs by himself, his hands resting on the tree, like he already knew what to do.
Like Buggy had assured him, he had prepared himself, because Zoro pushed into him easily, opening him up while Buggy gasped for breath, seemingly speechless for the brief moment. Buggy was tight, and hot, and it was difficult to keep himself from coming inside the clown.
He was a pirate hunter; he hunted pirates, not fucked them, but, well, everything had its first.
He fucked into Buggy without hesitation, and it drew out a strangled moan from the clown. Their bodies were flushed together, still separated by the layers of clothes, but he could feel the heat radiating through the friction between them. And it was intoxicating.
He couldn’t stop thrusting inside Buggy, not if he could help it, and with his hands gripping Buggy’s waist tightly, Zoro kept him in place, like Buggy was a toy for him to use, to fuck, to ruin.
“Fuck—god, fuck,” Buggy moaned, dropping his head forward as his fingers curled up on the tree. “Yes! Yes, just like that!”
He slid his hands up Buggy’s chest, tearing his shirt apart, to hear the clown’s raspy laugh.
“God, if I knew pirate hunters were this rough, and fuck this well, I’d have snatched one a long time ago.”
“Quiet,” Zoro said, running his hands over Buggy’s torso, rolling his nipples between his fingers, and making Buggy shudder and flinch from the touch.
He pressed open-mouthed kisses over the nape of his neck, teasing Buggy further to drag out more wanton noises from him. It was a sweet and addicting sound, something that Zoro enjoyed listening to. There was something about it—something about Buggy and his stupid mouth, incapable of shutting up.
But he knew how to shut him up now, and it had proven to be effective.
Granted, he was still blabbering his mouth when they fucked, but this kind of noise was the one that Zoro wasn’t annoyed with. In fact, his stomach stirred at the sounds, slamming his cock deeper inside Buggy to draw out even more of his moans.
Zoro wound his hand around Buggy’s waist, roaming over his chest and pinching his nipple as the clown whimpered, his head falling forward against the tree. He glided his hand down his torso, wrapping his fingers around his cock, smiling against Buggy’s nape when the clown bucked into his fist.
“God, please!” Buggy keened, pushing back against his cock while at the same time thrusting into Zoro’s closed fist. “Fuck, I’m close. I’m close—”
He stroked Buggy in earnest, pressing his thumb over the slit to smear the precum over the head of his cock and twisting his hand around the crown to hear the wanton plea the clown made. It almost sounded like a song, except this time, he didn’t want to throw his head into a barrel.
“Fuck me, god, faster! Faster, baby!” Buggy was a babbling mess at this point, and he found it entirely amusing, to be the one to turn the clown this way. He was pleased, to put it mildly. “Zoro—Zoro, please, fuck!”
A string of moans left Buggy’s mouth, turning strangled as his body began jerking forward, trembling in his hold. His hole clenched around Zoro’s cock, and he groaned, burying his face in the nape of Buggy’s neck, his stomach pulling taut before he came, spilling himself fully inside the blue-haired clown.
He slumped against the pirate’s back, arms still winding around his waist, and he didn’t pull out until they had both calmed their breaths. Buggy let out a little whine when he dragged his cock out, but didn’t protest as he braced himself on the tree.
“Fucking hell,” Buggy murmured, his cheek resting against the tree bark. “So that’s what it’s like to be fucked by a pirate hunter.”
“Shut up,” Zoro said, adjusting himself while the pirate cackled.
“If you want that to happen, you’re gonna have to fuck me again, kiddo.”
He turned around, pushing himself off the tree as he picked up his coat. His shirt opened still, exposing his chest under the moonlight, and Zoro didn’t want to admit that his mouth dried at the sight while watching Buggy fix his clothes up.
“So, see you some other time?”
Buggy’s lips stretched out to a smile, and he waved his fingers at him, heading the other way before Zoro’s eyes. He didn’t expect him to stay, but something churned in his stomach regardless. It was kind of unnerving, actually.
Even so, Zoro returned to the party, joining the village people once again, but only after making sure he was looking decent.
Luffy saw him first, a plate filled with food on his hand as he smiled at him.
“Hey, Zoro! Where did you go?”
“Yeah, we couldn’t find you for half an hour,” Nami said, joining Luffy on the side, her head cocked to the side once she looked at him. “What’s that on your face?”
“What’s what?” Zoro said, and Luffy poked at his own lips, twirling his finger around his mouth.
“Your face is smeared with paint, Zoro! Around your lips, especially, it looks like—what does it look like?” Luffy hummed, his face lightening up as he said, “Oh! Like Blimpy!”
“Buggy,” Sanji corrected him.
“You got paint on your face like his!” Luffy nodded, pointing at Zoro with a bright smile. “Like you just smashed your face with his face, and you got his paint on you!”
Nami widened her eyes, while Sanji offered a knowing smirk. He gulped, lifting his hand to wipe the paint off his face, trying to avoid the looks everyone was giving him. Well, except for Luffy, who still seemed to believe differently.
Sanji raised his eyebrow, tapping the corner of his lips as the smirk stretched out further.
“Yeah, still have a bit on here, mate.”
He clenched his jaw, eyes darting to the woods behind where his friends were standing, spotting a white gloved hand waving at him in the dark, and he balled his hands into fists. He could almost hear Buggy’s mocking laugh in his ear as if he were right nearby, telling him he was stupid enough to go back without cleaning his face.
Fucking clown.
The End
