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Another bright and sunny day in Faraway town. Well, as sunny as it can be. In the De Guzmans’ house, two brothers huddled in a bed, holding onto each other like a lifeline.
The little brother woke up from his dreamless slumber in a groggy confused daze. Why was his big brother holding onto him so tightly? And what was he doing in this side of the room? Then everything came back to him at once.
Oh. Right. They fought.
As much as he didn’t want to remember, he could vividly hear the words his brother spat at him last night.
“GOD I DON’T WANNA DEAL WITH YOU ANYMORE, IT SHOULD’VE BEEN YOU!”
He cried last night, didn’t he? His brother did too. Huh. Who would’ve thought that Kelsey De Guzman could feel genuine sadness.
Kel didn’t want to cry. He knew he didn’t deserve to, but it hurt, god it hurt so much, and it hurt even more to be left all alone by everyone he loved. Maybe he left his friends first, he didn’t know. He didn’t know anything anymore, or maybe he never did. Hero was right, they all were, Kel was pretty stupid.
A groan sounded from above him, breaking off his train of thought. The doctor did say that Kel’s brain was as active as he was, more-so than other kids.
“Good morning, Kel.” Hero’s voice sounded so hoarse. Maybe it was from all the yelling last night. Kel didn’t know if he could face him right now, but he had to. He was trapped in his brother’s arms with nowhere to go. So, he looked up.
He was greeted by a tired warm smile, a little different than the Hero he’s used to. Then again, nothing would be the same, would it? Not after Mari…
Oh, he should say something. He didn’t know how to feel, but his brother was waiting for him. Huh, for once it was his brother who was waiting for his response. He was better now, and maybe that’s the only thing that should matter.
“G’morning, Hero.” Kel replied with a yawn, rubbing his eyes.
“Hey, Ma said not to rub your eyes, remember?” His brother gently scolded. It was as if the past several months never happened. Kel wanted it to be that way, and yet…
“Mmmm but they’re itchy…” He complained.
That seemed to get a chuckle out of Hero, Kel couldn’t help but smile too. He finally had his brother back.
“Kel, Hero! Breakfast!” Their Ma’s voice sounded from outside the room.
Hero untangled his arms, taking the warmth with him. Kel didn’t want to get up just yet.
“Do we have to? I don’t wanna get out of bed yet…” Kel groaned.
“And here I thought you were the hyperactive one.” Hero simply replied, ruffling his hair. “Come on, I bet Ma made us longganisa today.” The bed shifted as Hero stood up and walked out of the room, leaving the door open behind him.
But why follow when the mattress felt so comfy. It was soft, welcoming, and safe. He could see why Hero didn’t want to get up from it for almost a year.
Gah! He shouldn’t be thinking like this! He’s Kel De Guzman, always up and about with a smile on his face.
Ah, smiling. He should do more of that today. Right, when he walks out of his room, he’ll walk out with a smile, then everything will feel right again.
His hair is a mess. Maybe he’ll take care of that first.
<——>
Once Kel reached the edge of the staircase, he could smell the sweet scent of freshly cooked longganisa, just as he liked it. He descended the stairs with a genuine smile on his face.
In the dining room, his Ma placed the platter of longganisa on the table while his Pa brought in a bowl of fried rice.
“Kel, help your kuya set the table.”
“Okay, Ma!”
He went through the doorway that connected the dining room and the kitchen where he found Hero bringing down a stack of plates from the cupboard. Kel walked over to the drawer and pulled out four pairs of spoons and forks.
“Kel, about last night…”
Oh. Oh, he didn’t want to think about that. Not now. Hero didn’t need to apologize, he already did last night, didn’t he? Why couldn’t they just move on? It didn’t matter.
“… Kel?”
Hero was waiting for a response. Kel didn’t even catch what Hero said after the first part. What did he say?
…
Probably just another apology. But what Kel felt didn’t matter.
… Right?
“I’ll never understand you, Kel. How could you go around town smiling and laughing when Mari killed herself?! I envy you sometimes, but at the same time I don’t. Your happiness is selfish.”
… Right.
“It’s okay, Hero. Really! Let’s just… move on from that, yeah? I think we all deserve a chance to move forward.”
Just keep moving forward. Don’t look back. Don’t stop. Don’t stop to look at the damage this all caused.
“Okay… just… I hope you’re alright too, Kel.”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
Because Kel De Guzman is a liar. Kel De Guzman is someone who always wears a selfish smile on his face, but maybe it doesn’t just have to be for himself anymore.
Hero ruffled Kel’s hair with a smile. It’s a little longer than it was several months ago, “you always manage to bounce back,” Hero chuckled, “maybe that’s something I can learn from you.”
His brother walked back to the dining room, leaving Kel in the kitchen. He stayed there for a moment. He decided to grab a couple of glasses too.
Once the table was set, their family sat down, said a prayer, and dug in.
Kel didn’t really have an appetite, but his Ma kept insisting that he put more food on his plate so he did.
“Did you even care about Mari? Or was it only because she’s Sunny’s sister that you thought of her as a friend. Maybe you didn’t think of her as a friend at all!”
He ate slowly, trying to swallow down the food. It was delicious, but the void in his stomach didn’t want to be filled.
“You didn’t love her. I did. Every day I think about what I should’ve done to make her stay. Any of us could’ve saved her, maybe even you!”
“GOD I DON’T WANNA DEAL WITH YOU ANYMORE, IT SHOULD’VE BEEN YOU!”
Kel was the last to leave the table that day. He threw the rest of his food in the garbage, what a waste.