Chapter Text
“You’re not going in this condition.”
Wooyoung had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. He swiftly evaded San’s attempt to catch his wrist and kept walking.
“Pretty sure heading to the dock with my suit on means I am going,” he retorted, trying to keep a semblance of normalcy despite his discomfort.
San had been hovering over him since breakfast and while it usually was endearing, today it was getting on Wooyoung’s nerves. Every part of Wooyoung’s body was sweating, breathing hurt and he was so incredibly tired, San fussing over him was the last thing he needed.
“Wooyoung.” This time, Wooyoung failed to dodge the hand on his shoulder and San effortlessly forced him to turn around. Wooyoung’s head spun as his eyes met San’s worried ones. “You’re sick. You can’t go.”
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not.”
San sighed, releasing Wooyoung’s shoulder to pass a hand through his hair. He looked frustrated, his jaw clenching while his eyebrows creased into a serious frown. It was a little bit hot, but for once Wooyoung wasn’t in the mood to swoon over his friend. He just wanted this day to end already.
“Youngie, please just sit this one out, no one will be mad at you for falling sick or–”
“No, you don’t understand,” Wooyoung interrupted. He pointed a finger at San’s chest, his own frustration finally reaching a boiling point. “You’ve been around for years, you have nothing to prove. Not you, not the others, no one except me. I’m the newbie here and Hongjoong already hates me. He made it clear yesterday that I was on thin ice after Thursday’s mess, or did you already forget how he yelled at me in front of everyone ? I’m not gonna jeopardize another mission.”
His outburst left him slightly breathless and light-headed and for a second, he genuinely thought he was going to faint and prove San’s point, but the stars in his eyes dissipated fast enough. The frown on San’s face softened.
“You didn’t jeopardize anything,” San reassured softly. “And Hongjoong doesn’t hate you. Not at all.”
Wooyoung huffed, petulantly crossing his arms over his chest.
“Why does he keep yelling at me then ?”
“He’s worried because you’re impulsive and take too many unnecessary risks. He cares about you but you’re stubborn and won’t listen, so he has to act that way to make you understand.”
Wooyoung looked away, a pang of hurt twisting in his gut. He doubted worry was something Hongjoong could ever feel toward him. From day one, he had made it clear their missions would always be their priority, only second to their family. And Wooyoung wasn’t part of their family. He was just Yeosang’s childhood friend and they just happened to have a spare spacecraft and allowed him to join the team because they were nice people and Yeosang refused to lose him again now that they were finally reunited.
“I don’t take unnecessary risks,” Wooyoung argued weakly.
San gave him a sad smile. It made Wooyoung feel even worse.
“Going on a mission with a fever is a perfect example of an unnecessary risk.”
And deep down, Wooyoung knew this. He knew going there in his current state was a stupid decision, he knew he would be better off staying behind, waiting for the others to come back and properly resting to be ready for the next mission… But what if this was his last chance ? What if Hongjoong decided enough was enough and told him to pack his bags and leave ?
Sighing, Wooyoung dropped his arms and wrapped them around San’s neck, pulling him into a hug. He closed his eyes – the room was spinning and his head ached, but San felt steady and comforting. Wooyoung wished he could stay there forever, preferably on a soft mattress, in a dark room. He couldn’t though. Not now.
“I’m sorry, Sannie, but I have to go,” he murmured. “Everyone worked too much to prepare for this mission and me staying here would mean having to come up with a whole new plan. No matter how much you think Hongjoong cares about me or whatever, it won’t take long until he grows tired of me fucking everything up all the time. I have to prove to him I deserve to be here and I…” Wooyoung swallowed hard, unable to speak louder than a whisper when he continued, “I need to prove it to myself too.”
Wooyoung felt San’s hand on his back, bringing him closer for a moment, caging him into the hug, until San reluctantly pulled away. His eyes were sad when he looked at Wooyoung.
“Hongjoong isn’t the only one worrying about you,” he murmured, tucking a strand of hair behind Wooyoung’s ear like he so often did when they were alone. “Be careful, please.”
“I will.”
“And the moment we come back you’re going straight to bed.”
Wooyoung chuckled at the sudden shift in tone, San’s expression turning playful, although concern was still lingering on his face. Wooyoung grabbed his hand and started walking backward, toward the dock.
“Only if you join me to cuddle,” he teased, and San immediately rolled his eyes.
“That’s a given. Come on, we’re already late.”
—
Once alone in his spacecraft, helmet secured and communication channel open, Wooyoung allowed himself to close his eyes and lean back against his seat. Everything hurt and he could tell his fever had gone up compared to the last San had checked this morning. He knew San was right and going on a mission was the last thing he should be doing today, but he just couldn’t miss this one. Coming back bloodied with a broken arm after jumping in front of a laser gun had finally opened the floodgates and Hongjoong had yelled at him for hours, listing all the things Wooyoung couldn’t do correctly and how much danger he kept putting himself in uselessly. Wooyoung had quickly understood his position here was compromised.
He had to do better if he wanted to stay – and he wanted to. Yeosang had vouched for him and Wooyoung had been nothing but a disappointment for the past six months, embarrassing him a bit more every day. Yeosang had never said it out loud, but Wooyoung guessed he probably regretted bringing him here, no matter how happy they both were to be in each other’s lives again.
The crackling of the intercom brought Wooyoung out of his thoughts before he heard Hongjoong’s voice.
“Team check,” their leader initiated. “Hongjoong, ready.”
“Seonghwa, ready.”
“Yunho, ready.”
“Yeosang, ready.”
“San, ready.”
“Mingi, ready.”
“Wooyoung, ready.”
“Jongho, ready.”
Wooyoung imagined Hongjoong nodding to himself now that everyone’s names were called. He reached for his steering wheel and opened his eyes again, frowning when the pain throbbed within his skull.
“Alright. Remember, while this mission is crucial for the rest of our plan, we’re not seeking conflict today – we’re avoiding it. Go in, take the files, go out. Don’t be noticed, don’t get shot. Understood ?”
Wooyoung quietly winced, aware that those last words were aimed at him.
“Yes,” he answered out loud. The others remained silent.
Hongjoong’s last-minute briefing continued and as much as Wooyoung wanted to focus, the pain in his head made it impossible for him to concentrate. He waited until they received the green light to depart, and followed the others out into space.
The communication channel crackled again, a little blue light on his screen indicating someone was using his personal channel.
“Were you fighting with San ?” Yeosang’s voice came from within his helmet.
“We’re fine, Sangie.”
“He seemed worried.”
“When is he not,” Wooyoung tried to joke, but Yeosang didn’t laugh. Instead, he stayed silent for a moment, long enough to make Wooyoung wonder if the call had been disconnected or their connection was faulty.
“Are you sure you should go ?” Yeosang eventually asked. “I know you’re stubborn enough not to faint in the middle of a mission and push the pain away, but–”
“Not you too,” Wooyoung whined. He sighed, glaring at Yeosang’s ship still visible in the distance, slightly higher than his own. He couldn’t even see Mingi and San’s ships anymore, the two of them always eager to race, regardless of the circumstances. “I’ll be fine.”
There was another extended pause before Yeosang sighed, making the line crackle. “Alright. Stick to the plan this time, please.”
And with that, he ended the call. Wooyoung’s heart climbed in his throat as he stared at the blue dot on his screen eventually stopping.
He would never regret saving Mingi the way he had a week ago, but he regretted jumping before thinking, ruining all their plans and forcing them to retreat despite the importance of their mission. It seemed it had been the last straw for everyone, the last ‘Wooyoung fucked up again’ before it became too much. Wooyoung wondered how long it would take before they told him they were finally getting rid of him. San seemed to be the only one not seeing how useless Wooyoung truly was, but Wooyoung guessed he was blinded by whatever was blossoming between them. It made him smile a little.
“Nope,” Wooyoung told himself, shaking his head. It made the cockpit spin again. “Thinking about San is the reason you fucked up a month ago. We’re not doing that again.”
He had enough on his plate already. His vision was starting to blur at the edges and he had to blink multiple times to see properly again. The others were already too far ahead; Wooyoung needed to stay focused and accelerate, or it would look suspicious.
After twenty minutes of Wooyoung trying to blink past the pain in his head, the channel crackled again, and Wooyoung winced as someone shouted too close to his ears.
“–under attack !” Wooyoung immediately recognized Yunho’s voice. “They’re coming from both sides !”
Just as Wooyoung processed the words, he caught sight of one of their enemy fleets and cursed aloud when they started firing. He barely dodged the first blasts.
“Hongjoong ?” Seonghwa asked, panic evident in his voice despite the interference.
“There are too many of them for us to fight but our ships are faster,” Hongjoong hurriedly responded. “Disperse and try to lose them. Fire if necessary. We’re sticking to the plan.”
The channel cut and Wooyoung ducked like he always did when they were instructed to split up, following Mingi and Seonghwa.
True to Hongjoong’s words, their ships were indeed faster, but their adversaries were persistent. The farther Wooyoung went, the more they fired, and Wooyoung could tell he was losing speed. Sweat trickled into his eyes and his heart pounded excessively – even his hold on his wheel was weakening. A hit came from his left and Wooyoung yelped as it jolted his ship, his body doing the same and his brain hit his skull. He gasped, the pain unbearable. Wooyoung let go of his wheel to grab his head, breathing hard as he unconsciously squeezed his eyes shut.
Distantly, he could hear Seonghwa’s voice screaming at him to move and Mingi’s distressed “Watch out !” but Wooyoung couldn’t see anything anymore. Stars were dancing before him and his body felt strangely weightless. He couldn’t feel his limbs anymore.
He only managed to see a beam of light, too bright and too close, before his ship rolled over. The pain made him scream, although he could no longer hear. His lungs burnt and his vision faded to darkness.
Then he was falling.