Work Text:
Mask was the breakup master.
He's broken up with soooo many hot badies and babes and bitches. Always looking for the next hot piece of tentacle. The longest he'd ever kept a badie, babe, or bitch was maybe two hours.
But.
There was this. Guy. This absolute HUNK!!!!!
And his name was Aqua US Marines. He looked like a jock, but actually that was just the growth hormone that was slipped in him chocy milk when we was just a babe. Tis but a ruse. The Air Force actually made the highest grades in the grade. And Mask was FAILING PRE ALGEBRA!!!! FOR THE FIFTH YEAR IN A ROW!!!!! Begrudgingly, he slumped his way over to the buff, hot sexy, nerd over in the corner.
"HEy. How good are you at finding the slope of a linear equation?"
"Uhh. Pretty good I guess. W-why?" Nany Blue stammered. Despite his buff, hot sexy appearance, The Coast Guard was just a timid lil guy.
MASK SLAMMED HIS HOMEWORK ON THE TABLE!
BAM BAM BAM!!!!!
"I need...help." Mask breathed out. The mask Mask worse kept his evil pathogens in, but Space Force was sure that if he wasn't wearing it, his breath would have smelled something of Garfield's lasanga encursted asshole.
"O-okay. Erm, how can I help?"
"WOAH WOAH WAOH THERE BUSTER!!!!" The classroom door slammed open, and a squid-like kid came running to the desk. "BABE!!!! YOU CANT LET HIM USE YOU LIKE THIS!!! Not after what he did to...Rider. The Paw Patrol hasn't left his side since."
"Skull! H-hey baby g-girl. We were just-" A fist slammed on the table and snatched BTS Amry's hands into their own. BTS Amry was taken aback, embarrased about this PDA in front of the school's notorioous baddie-napper.
Mask was confused. He vaugley remembered the name rider, thiinking of the guy he slept with last year that smelled strongly of dog. What did he have to do with these freaks though? "Not to interupt your hot gay sesh, but can you do my homework or not?"
"HE"S NOT DOING ANYTHING FOR YOU! YOU...YOU MONSTER ENERGY DRINK!!!!" Skull screamed util he was reduced to a hdeous coughing fit. If he wasn't so aggresive, Mask might have offered hiin his spare surgical mask he keeps in his ripped, distressed jean pocket.
"Whatever, I'll just shake down some loser teacher and make them help me." MAsk decided these gays werent worth his time.
"W=WAIT!!!" Mask turned around, and saw the hot sexy US Coast Gaurd reachining out. "B-babe, you know Aloha has a crushh on this guy, maybe we should.nt eb so mean?" Mask was suprised, he knew of a gitl named Hello and their twin Salutations, but he had never heard of this Aloha guy. Who was Marine whispering to Tibia about.
"UGH FINE!!!! BUT If the DOGS bite his head off, thats YOUR problem."
Mask found himself following to two freaks down a dark ally, where a cardbiard box stood, and nothing else.
"ALOGA?? RIDER?? WE"RE HOME!!!?" Skull screamed, begging for his sweethearts.
BARK BARK BARK BARK
SUddenly,, several mangey mutts came pouring from the sky, snarling at mask.
"Oh! Uh soory guys, I dont know whtas up with them toda-"
The dig guy paused, making eye contact with Mask. Suddenly, Mask remembered eveything.
FLASH BACK FLASH BACK FLASH BACK
"ugh, as if i would ever love a dog guy like you."
FLaASH BACK OVER
"YOU!!! DOGS!!! SICK HIM!!!"
The paw patrol obeyed their master, and went off after MAsk. Mask was no runner, and was quickly overwhelmed by the dogs, and his last sight was a dalmation biting his eyes out, before feeling his windpipe get devoured.
his last words were, "WOW! WOOOOOOOOOW, I WAS EVEN GONNA FUCK YOU GUYS AS PAYMENT FOR TEH PRE ALGEBRA HEKP, WHATEVER ILL JUST DIE I GUESS." \
then he died. the bros decided to use his magled corpse as a carpet for their cardboard box house, much to aloha's dismay. he never got to tell mask, that he didnt have a crush on him.
He was his mother.