Chapter Text
2018
They stood in a suspended silence as she waited for him to speak.
Not that she really expected him to.
Leaning her hips against the island in his kitchen, she crossed her arms over her chest. His hands were braced on the countertop as he stared down at it, unseeing.
“Nanamin is gone, huh?” he murmured, clenching his jaw. “Yaga, too?”
She nodded, staying silent as he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He tugged her between his arms, burying his head in the crook of her neck.
“Fuckin missed you,” he mumbled, wrapping his arms around her waist.
Pursing her lips, she lifted her hand to run her fingers through his hair as he pressed her against the island.
Silence enveloped them again, and she allowed herself to relax into him as he nuzzled her neck.
“Really fucking missed you,” he whispered, lifting his head to stare into her eyes.
She blinked quickly against the tears in her eyes, feeling her jaw trembling. He smiled softly, raising a hand to her face as he leaned down to press his lips to hers. She whimpered into his mouth, and he groaned at the sound, his hands going to her hips and setting her on top of the counter.
“Fuck.”
His hands moved to her pants, and she shoved his down at the same time, whining when he drove into her immediately.
“Shit,” she gasped, arching into him as he groaned.
“So good,” he moaned, dropping his head back to her neck and sucking on her skin. “So fucking good.”
Retreating briefly, he slammed his hips back into hers, biting her neck when she cried out.
“Fucking missed you, baby,” Gojo breathed, licking her neck before straightening slightly so he could capture her lips again. “Fucking- I fucking love you-”
Rinko sat straight up, her heart racing as she blinked to try to shake herself from the dream.
Nightmare, really.
Reality descended quickly, wrapping around her like a cold, wet blanket. The sweater she wore felt like it was suffocating her, and she let out a shaky breath.
This was what she got for sleeping in his goddamn bed.
She’d known she wouldn’t be able to handle it. But she’d done it anyway because she was tired of the couch.
“I’m fucking losing it,” she whispered, throwing the blankets away and pushing herself to her feet.
Grabbing a pillow, she trudged back into the living room and flopped onto the couch. Turning onto her side, she glared at the stupid back gate.
Didn’t matter if they got him back. The idiot wasn’t going to fucking tell her that he was in love with her.
Gojo Satoru didn’t do feelings, or relationships, or love.
He had made that clear from the very start of their friendship. Made it clear that he had more important shit to do than fall in love. They’d both fucking agreed that it was just sex. Hell, the idiot had fucking lost his goddamn mind barely a year ago because he thought she wanted more when she clearly didn’t.
Because she knew better than to ever even think it.
She knew better than to read into things he did or said because he was too stupid to realize that friends didn’t do that shit.
‘Not a typical friendship,’ he’d always say, while he did things that made it effortless for someone to fall in love with him.
From the start, she had known that was what she was getting into. And she’d been fine until this. Until others started implying, assuming that there was more. Giving her a stupid sense of false hope that she knew better than to feel.
Got somethin’ real important to tell ya.
And that. That idiot saying stupid shit that implied more than he ever meant.
Than he ever could or would mean.
Rinko could be stupid sometimes, but she wasn’t stupid enough to think that she would change who he was.
Or how he viewed love.
A curse.
The worst of them all.
She knew that about him. That he would never change his mind after seeing how it fucked people up.
And really, even if he did change his view, it wouldn’t be for her. She knew that. Like he’d fucking said, he didn’t want her to think they would ever be more than they were. She’d been fine. Happy, even, with how they were.
But then the idiot had to go and say shit and leave her in suspense like this. Probably over something fucking stupid that would make him chuckle.
After putting fucking Limitless in her goddamn knives. Giving other people the impression that she was more important than she actually was. Fucking putting a goddamn target on her back for it.
When they got him back, she was going to have to set new boundaries with him.
Because she couldn’t take this shit anymore. Not if she wanted to keep from losing it.
As if she hadn’t already.
Fucking having a wet dream where he professed a non-existent love for her.
Definitely already fucking insane.
In fact, she’d probably been fucking broken since she’d decided that she could just fall in love with him and be content knowing that he would never love her back.
Even if she wasn’t crazy, she was a fucking idiot.
Releasing a heavy sigh, she sat up quickly and ran her hands through her hair.
She was overreacting. Letting the stress and exhaustion take over and make her angry. It wasn’t his fault that she had decided to let herself fall in love with him when she knew exactly what she was getting into. Wasn’t like he knew, either. Or that he was doing it on purpose. He was just stupid. But she’d known that from the start, too.
They would be fine. She was only struggling now because she was overwhelmed. Too much had happened in such a short period of time. Too many people gone.
Kento, Yaga, Mai.
The sob broke free as she thought of the girl, remembering the look in her eyes a year prior when she asked if Rinko was leaving her again.
She had. She’d failed the girl.
On top of that, Maki was different. Stronger, more resilient, colder. When she’d returned from the estate, she’d snuck up on Rinko without even meaning to. The presence that appeared behind her had almost made her jump out of her own fucking skin because she’d sworn that Toji had come back from the dead again. In a way, he had.
The teen had simply given Rinko an empty look, the katana gripped tightly in her hands as she informed her that Mai was dead. That the entire clan was dead as well. She had wiped out the entire clan alone, using a single katana that Mai left for her.
-sometimes, it feels hopeless. But we make do with the hand we’re dealt, sweetheart.
A shitty one.
But Rinko had known from the beginning that it was a shitty hand.
And she’d gotten this far with it.
“Wouldn’t trade it,” she muttered, taking a deep breath. “Yeah, Mom?”
A different hand meant those girls would never have known love. That they’d have been completely alone.
Focus on the good. Make sure none of them died in vain. Be grateful that Mai and Maki had resolved their differences before this shit happened. That Rinko had gotten to show Mai that life wasn’t just hatred.
She just hoped that the girl knew how proud she was of her. For standing up to them in the end.
Wiping her eyes, she felt her gaze drawn back to the black cube on the coffee table.
Being a Zenin meant being dealt a shitty hand in life.
Maybe not entirely useless, though.
They still had a chance to salvage what was left.
Once they got him back, they would figure shit out just like they always did.
Until then, though, she couldn’t be here anymore. Staying here just meant isolation and driving herself insane.
She would just stay in the hideout at Tokyo Tech. Didn’t matter if the higher-ups found out. If they tried shit with her, she’d just fucking get rid of them herself. Not like they were doing anything useful at this point.
Fucking sentencing Yaga to death. Declaring Gojo a traitor.
Trying to execute her.
Assholes.
Tossing the back gate into her bag, she grabbed her phone and pushed herself to her feet. It was still early enough that moving around wouldn’t be too big of an issue. She’d be able to get to campus without trouble.