Chapter Text
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
first thing Sarmenti does is get an idea of his partner’s mental state, then works from there. if they want a quiet moment to collect themself, he'll relax. if they need affection and grounding, he's on it. fortunately or not, his pillowtalk is as flippant and humorous as he is. though he generally doesn’t act like it and certainly never asks for it, Sarmenti enjoys a bit of aftercare affection to remind himself that he’s literally and metaphorically in a better place now.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
tender affection to his neck makes Sarmenti weak in the knees. he also adores attention to his hands, kisses to his fingers are a quick way to crack through that shell of his and get something more genuine.
it’s easy to tell when he’s feeling needy, he’ll be very physically affectionate. in particular his hands will wander a lot along his partner’s back. and during the act he likes to feel the shoulders of a dominant partner or the thighs of a submissive partner.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
he enjoys the occasional creampie, doesn’t mind swallowing, and likes being made a mess of. getting loads from multiple partners over his face is a special treat he wishes he could experience more often. while it's easy to make a cock-haver orgasm, getting a pussy-haver to cum is always a point of pride to Sarmenti.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
deeply ashamed that sometimes he liked what was being done to him by the tyrant and his court. a big reason why Sarmenti doesn’t tolerate excessive pain is that he’d become a different person from a different time.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
this man is a slut (affectionate). if the Brothel workers don’t know how to handle a virgin/inexperienced/Deviant(™) client they’re pointed in Sarmenti’s direction. and in the rare chance he’s trying something new, he’s got enough sense to establish boundaries and communication beforehand.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
he's game for just about anything, and has the impressive flexibility to pull just about anything off. if Sarmenti isn’t wearing his mask though, he's a bit shier and tries to hide his inadvertently expressive face with positions that aren’t face-to-face (while insisting he isn’t trying to hide).
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
this man is a clown (affectionate). if he isn’t hiding his real emotions with humor he’s probably dead or dying. you know he’s gettin’ fucked real good when he starts openly begging, talking lovey-dovey nonsense, or worst/best of all is just making noises.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
there isn’t much to groom, as his body hair is pretty thin, but he keeps himself clean and tidy regardless.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
in his own way Sarmenti is caring and attentive, it’s just that it looks like jokes and teasing on the surface. unfortunately, before the tyrant he only ever cared to have one-night stands, and after the tyrant Sarmenti has become all too aware that lustful desires are not love. he will take utmost care of his partner, but with the attitude of a FWB. he considers himself a broken and loathsome thing not worthy of love useful for stress and sexual relief first and foremost.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
horny bastard he may be, Sarmenti doesn’t actually masturbate all that often. it’s “less fun” by himself, and with enough patience and/or teasing he’ll end up in someone else’s bed eventually.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
while he does have kinks, they're pretty broad. he insists that his partner find satisfaction first and foremost because he'll enjoy the act regardless. attentive or frequent enough partners will notice Sarmenti particularly likes being manhandled a bit, partners that can take and/or keep up with his teasing, and being subjected to multiple orgasms.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
it’s got to be mostly private at least, where he doesn’t have to put as much of an effort keeping his Jester facade up in the throes of ecstasy. a bedroom is ideal, obviously, but deep in an alleyway or out of earshot of camp isn’t unheard of.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
just about anything could ignite his passions, but Sarmenti is partial to masterful displays of violence. someone striking down a foe in a particularly powerful and/or elegant manner might have him fawning over them. in a more business-like manner, he’s also quick to notice when someone is highly stressed and debate if a quickie or more is the most efficient form of their relief.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
choking him without being given permission? Dirk Stab. calling him particularly degrading things? Slice Off. literally pissing on him? Harvest. hitting his face? Finale. overall Sarmenti is very touchy about degradation and pain, he’s either got to really trust his partner or be in the right/wrong mindset for it. a minor thing, he also is not one to instigate kissing. that’s for lovestruck couples, not jaded fools like himself. he’s always surprised should his partner go for it.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
damn near has an oral kink, Sarmenti could give the Brothel girls a run for their money when it comes to giving oral. without fail always responds to insults like “Suck my dick” with something along the lines of “I think I will actually, come here--”. the Hamlet should be glad things like lollipops and ice cream aren’t present, he would be an erotic terror.
receiving oral, on the other hand, is a preposterous thing. who’d go out of their way to give him no-strings-attached pleasure? Sarmenti never asks for it, insists he doesn’t need it, and gets very embarrassed and shy should his partner gives it anyway.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
always changes his own pace to his partner’s preference and needs, and allows his partner to set whatever pace they want because he’ll enjoy it regardless. if his partner is a bit uncertain about it, Sarmenti will start slow until they’re ready for more. he’s not quite strong enough to give rough sex, especially when compared to certain potential partners, so he tends towards the sensual side if dominant.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
he’s most often doing quickies to blow off his or his partner’s steam, and doesn’t fault a partner for wanting no more than that. but he also appreciates good long sessions as well to thoroughly get rid of that stress.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
if someone wants to experiment with something, Sarmenti is frequently the test dummy due to his breadth of experiences. not afraid to tell his partner what they want to do is too risky or implausible, but he also might be able to offer alternatives.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
often falls victim to “The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak”. he used to have a lot of stamina, or at least be willing to push himself further, but nowadays his energy is merely a bit above average. if his current partner is still rarin’ to go or he’s particularly tired, Sarmenti will tell them to just “use” him, out of a semi-secret love of the overstimulation.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
he owns or can improvise a few simple accessories like cuffs or bindings or tools, but doesn’t care to have or use dildos. and sadly he will never know the joys of a vibrator given the time period 😔
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
this man does not ask to have sex. he teases and struts and flaunts until someone gives in to his antics or tries to shut him up. the mockery doesn’t stop during the act either, and if someone thinks they’re the ultimate brat-tamer then they will have to face Sarmenti the ultimate brat.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
nosiest bastard in the Hamlet and rather embarrassed by it thanks to poor experiences in his past with the tyrant. tries to muffle his noises to variable success, but in the throes of orgasm Sarmenti often yowls and howls if he isn’t clamping his mouth shut.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
everyone in the Hamlet has shifting genitals, but Sarmenti’s shift most frequently and he’s usually the most comfortable with whatever decides to appear between his legs. if/when Gender Questioning begins in the Hamlet, he might ponder if he even has a strong connection to his(?) gender.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
you don’t need to take off his clothes to know he’s a gangly-ass bitch. but sometimes his partners are surprised by how many scars hide underneath his mask and costume.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Horny Bastard. not a daily need, but he gets pent up pretty quickly. it’s rarely a problem with all the potential partners in the Hamlet.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
after quickies he’s often re-energized, but long and/or intense sessions could leave him exhausted. he’ll at least give a sign he’s alive before passing out.