Chapter Text
ONE
Bella wasn’t sure why she’d agreed to come. Maybe it was Jacob’s eagerness — the way he acted like an excited little puppy at the idea of hanging out together. Maybe it was the gnawing feeling of wanting to make Charlie less, less…she couldn’t even find the right word for it. She could just feel it rolling off him from the second she came back. This weird heaviness, like he wanted her to feel at home but had no idea how to bridge the gaps of the time she spent living with Renee. It was awkward, uncomfortable. Bella wasn’t used to it. She could tell he wasn’t either.
Bella chewed at the inside of her cheek. Her brown eyes stared blankly ahead. The sky was already dark, lit by a few stars. A campfire burned some hundred feet away. She tried to count the amount of people, but stopped when she found herself becoming increasingly overwhelmed by the number. Jake had told her it was something like a party, that the elders and the kids from the reservation would all be there. There would be food, and those old enough to drink would be.
She supposed she had underestimated the size of the Quileutes. No matter. Her therapist and her were working on trying to…try, more. To loosen up the anxiety that knotted in her chest most days through exposure. Her hand slipped into her purse, which was laying open on the passenger side seat. She dug around until she found the rattle of her medication, and quickly popped one of her pills for anxiety before hopping out of the car.
The cold of the night immediately sent a shiver through her, and she tugged at the sleeves of her knitted green sweater. She still wasn’t used to Washington weather. People usually assumed she didn’t like the sun from her pale complexion, like she avoided it or something. But the warmth and sunshine in Arizona were one of her favorite parts. She spent many summer days laying out with Renee, despite only one of them being able to acquire a tan.
“Bella!”
Jake barreled into her vision seemingly out of nowhere, his smile warm and bright. She couldn’t help but smile back. Though it was probably a more reserved one than his.
“I’m so glad you’re here. I didn’t — Charlie said you might not — to not take it personally,” he was rambling a little already. But it didn’t bother her. He threw his arm around her shoulder, and she was surprised it didn’t make her shrivel away. He was warm. It was welcomed. She would have to start dressing less light. He began to usher her towards a group of two other boys. “I’ll introduce you to Quil and Embry first. They’re cool, you’ll love them.”
Bella just laughed, letting him take the lead.
And he was right, the boys were pretty cool. They were young, of course. So was Jacob. She could feel it kind of bubbling off them, see it in the slight baby fat on their when they smiled. She liked them, though. They were welcoming. So were the elders, once Jacob ushered her over to them.
“Everyone on the res is pretty cool,” Jacob said. He had taken to guiding her along the beach’s edge. The sound of the current was nice. It calmed Bella’s nerves. “There’s really not much you have to watch for out here.”
The last sentence was paired with another bright smile. Bella nodded, her hands toying with a loose thread on her sleeve. If he noticed that she’d barely said more than five words since getting here, he didn’t point it out. She assumed he didn’t have an issue carrying conversations. His personality was big, excitable.
She allowed her attention to wander back to the bonfire. It was mostly the elders gathered around. A few of the young ones sat with them, listening to the stories. Jake had called them their legends. But he’d seemed a little embarrassed, a little sheepish about the whole thing. She could tell he was right about the people being nice here.
Her eyes wandered a little further, finally landing on a group of boys — men? — kind of huddled to themselves. They didn’t look too much older than herself but they were…huge. Even from the distance she could tell they would tower over most people. It was about three of them, and they looked a bit more serious than the rest of the kids. Intimidating, maybe. But Bella wasn’t the best judge. She was often intimidated and uncomfortable around strangers regardless of their appearance. She did realize that they were the only group that Jacob hadn’t introduced her to.
Jacob’s attention followed her and his smile faltered.
“That’s Sam and his groupies,” Jake said to Bella’s unspoken question. “They — they’re probably the only people to watch out for. They got super weird over the summer. Sam’s the leader or something, the other two just blindly follow him. Jared and Paul. Stopped talking to anyone outside of their little gang once they fell in line behind him.”
“A little gang? In La Push?” She couldn’t take the teasing out of her tone. It just sounded extreme.
The three boys had turned their attention towards Bella and Jake too. Their gazes were heavy, but left nothing to be interpreted. She met all their eyes briefly, but couldn’t handle the weight of it. Definitely intimidating, she decided as she went to avert her eyes elsewhere.
“I’m serious,” Jacob said. He rolled his eyes as he said it though, a small grin on his face. He straightened up before adding, “they are bad news. They won’t try to talk to you though, which is good. They’re really, really weird.”
Bella hummed in response. She wrapped her arms tighter around herself. God, Washington was cold. Especially at night. Upgrading her wardrobe to something more bulky was a must. Her social battery was already past empty too, in the negatives. And her medication had a habit of making her tired. Jake seemed to notice this time.
“Here — hold on, I’ll grab a hoodie for you,” he said. He was sprinting back towards his house before she could protest. Or tell him that she’d rather head home. It had only been an hour, two? She wasn’t sure. Socializing made time pass like a snail some days. “Stay right there! I’ll be right back.”
Bella couldn’t help it, letting out a small laugh as she turned to face the water. She would just tell him when he came back. She could use Charlie, maybe. A curfew. She really needed to work on her confrontation skills, and not wanting to disappoint people. She sighed and took a mental note to mention it to her therapist. They could add it to the list.
Right behind her anxiety, people pleasing, avoidance, mommy issues. She laughed to herself again. She always sounded like such a mess when she listed off her issues to herself. As her guard lowered in the brief moment of solitude, she felt a weird prickling in her neck. The weight of eyes on her.
Well, she’d have to get used to it. She was the new girl in town after all. Naturally curiosity, she comforted herself. No one was looking because she was weird or…or whatever her anxiety ramped up to say. She couldn’t help but feel uneasy though, and she couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched more intensely nor could she bring herself to turn and see who exactly was giving her this feeling.
When Jake came bouncing back with hoodie in hand, Bella settled on the curfew excuse. He deflated almost immediately.
“I start school on Monday,” she tacked on. Hoping to soften the blow and make it sound less like an excuse. Jacob hung his head. His disappointment was obvious. She found herself rushing to soothe it. “I had a lot of fun. I’ll definitely…definitely come back some other time.”
Jake perked up again.
“Awesome! We shou—.”
“Jacob,” a new voice interrupted.
Bella jumped at the unexpected company. The three boys — Sam and his groupies — were standing a mere foot or two away. She took a step back almost immediately. Wow. They were tall. And intimidating. Just looking at them up close made her feel a little breathless. The one to the right of Sam noticed, his face twisting into something like annoyance. Bella couldn’t quite put her finger on it.
Jake tensed up visibly too, but none of them seemed to mind.
“Introduce us,” Sam said. His voice was flat, lacking malice, but it came across like an order.
Jake hesitated.
“She was just leaving,” he settled with, pushing his hoodie into her hands.
Bella thought it had to be her imagination when the one on the right — the annoyed one — looked like his hands were beginning to shake. His eyes snapped to Jake, then back to Bella. His jaw was set and it seemed like smoke was going to start coming out of his ears any second.
When he locked eyes with her, it was unnerving to say the least. Like he was stripping her down to her core. Seeing things nobody else did. Her heart began to race. Yes, it was time to go home. She was starting to feel like a raw nerve.
Bella forced a tight smile.
“I’m Bella. Swan. Jake’s right. I was just leaving,” she said. Attempting to cool the weird tension pulsing in the air, she added. “It’s nice to meet you all.”
“I’m Sam,” the leader said. Obviously, Bella thought to herself. He carried a certain authority, especially over the two by his sides. He turned his head to the left, then the right. “This is Jared and Paul. We just wanted to welcome you before the night was over.”
Jake rolled his eyes.
“You’ve welcomed her,” he said. “Cmon Bells, I’ll walk you to your truck.”
Wrapping his hand around Bella’s elbow, he began to lead her away from the three. Maybe it was her imagination again, but she could have swore she heard a rumbling from the annoyed one — Paul. Almost a growl, but that couldn’t be right. Unless he really was as much of a weirdo as Jake had said.
“Jacob,” Sam interrupted again. “Billy’s looking for you. She can walk by herself.”
“I’m not one of your lost puppies, Sam,” Jake snapped, not faltering in his pace. Bella smiled to herself, thinking about her early comparison of
Jake and an excitable puppy. “That tone doesn’t work on me.”
“What the fuck did you just say, Black?”
Bella wasn’t sure which one had taken the offense. She was too busy, too eager to get to her car and go home. She didn’t even turn her head to look back. She really was tired. The sudden hostility brought on by the three boys and Jake only drained her more.
“Enough, Paul,” there was that authority in Sam’s voice again. Then lower, to the point Bella wasn’t sure she’d even heard him right. “She’ll be back.”
Bella shivered again.
“They are weird,” she whispered to Jake.
He just laughed. She could tell the interaction had been taxing on him too. His shoulders were tense, and his grip on her elbow was too tight.
She left after a few more promises to hang out more, and made a point to not look at Sam or his little crew. Weird might have been an understatement. She really hoped no one at her new school was like that. Or at least that their stares wouldn’t be as heavy.
She zoned out on the drive home, and as she made her way up to her bedroom. Charlie was still out on patrol. He must work nights a lot, though she found it hard to believe there was much crime occurring in Forks, Washington. She tried to recall the population. Three thousand? Maybe four. How dangerous.
Bella found herself falling asleep as soon as she slipped under her covers.
People-ing. Maybe one day it wouldn’t suck the life out of her.
The next few week passed by mostly uneventfully. Bella found Forks Highschool to be welcoming. The students there treated her like a shiny new toy, and she’d had an uncomfortable encounter with her biology partner, but when Renee called for her weekly update she could honestly tell her things were fine. She was adjusting okay.
“The homework is pretty easy,” she told her mom, toying with the spiral cord to the house phone. “And I made a few friends.”
“Any boy friends?” her mother asked immediately, a mischievous tone in her voice. Bella smiled. She could practically hear Renee wiggling her eye brows. “Or special girl friends? You know mama won’t judge.”
“Mom,” she meant for it to come out stern but she was sure her mother heard the smile in her voice. She debated telling her about Mike — the feelings weren’t reciprocated but he was trying hard to get her attention. “No special friends.”
“Ugh, Bells,” her mom tutted. “You’ve gotta live a little. You’ll be a senior next year!”
“That’s why I need to focus on my grades, Mom,” she rebutted.
She heard her mother’s whine, displeased by her words being turned right back at her. She smiled again, laughing lightly into the receiver.
“I am going to La Push today, I promised Jake,” she offered.
“Bella!” her mother put on a very fake, exaggerated scandalized tone. “Younger men?!”
“You’re impossible,” Bella teased back. “Goodbye, mom.”
They exchanged I love yous and promises to call again soon before hanging up. She did miss her mom. A lot. She was more like a best friend than a parent, which she wondered sometimes if it made her more or less lonely without her. But it wasn’t the kind of aching feeling of needing her mom. She’d gotten over that while still living with Renee.
Bella started moving to get to La Push. Throwing on a jacket and grabbing the keys to her truck. Honestly, she’d already blown Jake off a couple times this week. She used the reasoning of needing to finish homework, but really she was just drained from all the changes and new people. Her mind wandered briefly to the last time she’d seen him as she revved the engine to Big Red. The way that guy — Sam — had commented on her being back.
She physically shook off the unsettled feeling it gave her.
Jacob made it clear they didn’t run in the same circles. Bella was sure, positive, they wouldn’t cross paths this time.
Of course, she would be proven wrong.