Work Text:
“Derek, if I ever get sleepy can I use your shoulder as a pillow?”
“No.”
“What?! I’m your boyfriend!”
“So?”
“I should be allowed to use you as a pillow!”
“Why?”
“I already said why, because I’m your boyfriend!”
“The answer is still no.”
“I can’t believe you, Derek. That is so mean and coldhearted. I just want to cuddle up with you. Not to mention, your body is freakishly warm. You’re a walking blanket, dude. I swear, I should be allo-you’re laughing at me! Doesn’t this mean you were just yanking my chain?”
“Maybe.”
“Derek! Fine, whatever, I’m going to use you as I see fit.”
~~~~~~~~~~~
“You know what I’ve noticed about you, Derek?”
“What?”
“Whenever I eat cereal, you always want some…from my bowl. Even though I offer to get you your own bowl, you want to eat out of mine. Always. Why is that?”
“Why waste two bowls when you can waste one?”
“I love how you act like you do the dishes around here.”
“Whatever. Now give me some of your cereal.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Derek, I love you and all but do you have to be so messy when you eat? Use a napkin for goodness sake.”
“You call this messy?”
“Yeah! Be lucky I’m not calling you a pig.”
“………”
“You know what? I’m going to go fetch you some more napkins!”
“Stiles, I’m eating buffalo wings. It’s not the cleanest food.”
“That’s still no excuse! Use a napkin! Like really, dude.”
“Stiles.”
“Fine! I can’t stand watching you lick your fingers out in public.”
“Why?”
“Why? Why? Because you look freaking hot licking yourself, that’s why! I think that old lady over there just got off watching you! Oh, wipe that smirk off of your face, Derek. It’s not funny.”
“Of course it’s not funny, it’s cute.”
“Derek! Fine. You want to play like that? I can lick my fingers too, you know. Look.”
“Stiles, I won’t get you a napkin. I’ll screw you on this table, in front of everyone.”
“…you would not…”
“Try me.”
“Argh, fine! Be unfair.”
“………”
“………”
“Pass me a napkin, Stiles.”
~~~~~~~~~~~
“Hey babe, want some pudding?”
“Fine.”
“Good. While you’re getting yours, get me one too! Please!”
“Hmph.”
~~~~~~~~~~~
“I’ve been told by Lydia that I’m supposed to take you out this weekend. Apparently it’s our six month anniversary this Saturday.”
“Wow, you’re romantic. I think my heart just skipped a beat right now because you took my breath away. You know six months is an important milestone in a relationship. A major milestone in fact. I expect roses and candy. Oh, and a fancy dinner! Don’t forget to get me a gift too.”
“You didn’t know about it either, did you? And you expect me to do all of that? Seriously?”
“Um, I’ll try that new position you’ve wanted to try for a while now as my gift to you…?”
“………”
“………”
“Alright. I’ll pick you up at seven.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I have a question, Derek.”
“What is it?”
“Can you eat chocolate? Because you know how dogs aren’t allowed to eat chocolate.”
“I can eat chocolate just fine.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
“Are you absolutely sure? Because I quite like you, you know. I don’t mind keeping you around a little longer.”
“I can eat chocolate, Stiles.”
“Okay, just making sure.”
“You want a piece of my chocolate, don’t you?”
“Maybe, maybe not. I’ve been told sharing is caring or something like that.”
“Here.”
“Thank you!”
~~~~~~~~~~~
“Stiles.”
“Hm?”
“Why are you shirtless?”
“Oh, excuse me. I didn’t know you were the only one allowed to be shirtless.”
“Stiles.”
“What? How do you know I’m not trying to, um, turn you on! Yes! That’s it. Now come and ravish me!”
“Why do I smell apple juice?”
“Um……”
“You spilled apple juice on yourself, didn’t you?”
“No! No, I did not. It just so happen my apple juice really, really loved my shirt so it decided to, um, make out with it! I swear apple juice these days, so promiscuous. I mean, it couldn’t even wait for them to be alone without an audience watching them. Me! I think I might be scared for life! Hold me, Derek! Hold me and never let go!”
“Be glad you’re pretty, Stiles.”
“Hey, that’s usually my line with you!”
~~~~~~~~~~~
“Dude! I can’ believe you didn’t tell me!”
“Tell you what?”
“About the big ass hickey you made on my back, in-between my shoulder blades! It’s massive!”
“…Stiles, I made you a hickey on your back. And apparently it’s massive.”
“No shit! When I took off my shirt in the locker room today, everyone saw it! At first I didn’t know why everyone kept on giving me weird looks. It wasn’t until Scott told me that I had to quickly put my shirt back on! And you know I have gym class.”
“You left a bite mark on my neck but you don’t see me complaining about it.”
“That’s because, that’s because…argh!”
“I don’t see what the problem is.”
“We’re a pair of possessive weirdoes.”
“I’m fine with it.”
“Yeah, me too. My bite mark is pretty impressive, isn’t it? You can see it a mile away!”
~~~~~~~~~~
“Hey, what do you think about me getting a tramp stamp with your name? Hm?”
“No because that would involve someone else touching you, especially there. Just because I got your name tattooed on me doesn’t mean you have to do the same, Stiles.”
“I know, I know. I just thought you might want your name on my flesh too.”
“I’m more than happy with my scent on your flesh.”
“Well then, scent away. In fact, I think you should rub your scent all over me right now.”
“Ever since I got your name tattooed on my chest, you’ve been really horny. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”
“I can’t help it! It’s such a turn on! My name on your ridiculously hot body…argh, screw going to the movies with Scott! We’re having sex!”
“Well, I’m glad you love your six month anniversary so much. I know I do.”