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“Dude, I totally want to be a pretty, pretty princess when I grow up. I’m pretty sure I got the ‘pretty, pretty’ part down and now I just need the ‘princess’ part to make my dream come true.”
“Stiles…what are you smoking?”
“Uh huh! I finally got your attention, Scott! I’ve been trying to get it for the pass, like, twenty minutes or something. And I’m not smoking anything.”
“You sure about that, Stiles? And it was not twenty minutes.”
“Whatever. It’s so hard to get your attention when you’re daydreaming about Allison or Isaac. Who was it this time, hm?”
“I-it’s none of your business!”
“I’m guessing it was, hm, Isaac? Oh, please tell me I’m right!”
“Whatever, dude. I think I prefer you talking about wanting to be a pretty, pretty princess.”
“You’re just jealous I’m closer to becoming one then you are! Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful, Scott.”
“Dude, seriously, what are you smoking?”
“Don’t know, want some though? They did teach me something about sharing is caring. Although screw that when it’s with someone you don’t like.”
“No thanks, man. Not if it’s going to make me want to become a pretty prin-”
“Pretty, pretty princess!”
“Sorry, my bad, a pretty, pretty princess. Seriously?”
“What?”
“I would rather be…um, I don’t know. I’ll want to be a, ah, my little pony first before wanting to become a pretty, pretty princess.”
“I can’t believe you, Scott. Has our friendship meant nothing to you? You don’t want to be a pretty, pretty princess with me? I feel so hurt.”
“I’m sure you do.”
“I am! And really…my little pony? Do you want to tell me something, Scott? As your ex-best friend, you can tell me anything.”
“Ex-best friend?”
“You didn’t want to be a pretty, pretty princess with me.”
“Oh, that makes perfect sense.”
“Thank you.”
“And I don’t have anything to tell you, Stiles. I would rather be a my little pony. Actually, I just want to be me.”
“Well, that’s boring.”
“Wow, thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Actually, hm, never mind become a my little pony.”
“Oh, why the change of heart all of a sudden?”
“Because duh, every pretty, pretty princess needs a my little pony to ride on! So you’ll be mine! Wow, I can’t believe how this all worked out in the end. Tell me when you’re close to fulfilling your dream. We make a good pair of BFFs.”
“Yeah, where you want to ride me!”
“Hey, get your mind out of the gutter, dude! Besides Allison and Isaac would kill me if I rode you like that.”
“Yeah, and then Derek would kill me, Isaac, Allison and for the fun of it Lydia, Jackson, Erica, and Boyd.”
“Sooo, we both agree I should not ride you in a sexual manner?”
“Agree…for all our sakes.”
“Okay, I’m down with that. I only want to ride Derek anyway.”
“Dude!”
“What?”
“What did I tell you about sharing sex information about Derek and you?”
“Um…I don’t remember. Oh, wait, I do remember. You screamed like a little girl and ran off so technically you didn’t tell me anything on the whole Derek and me sex issue.”
“I thought me screaming, a very manly scream, and running off would give you a hint.”
“It was not a manly scream, Scott. In no way could that scream even be considered a manly scream. You screamed like a little girl.”
“I did not! And anyway, I only screamed because you were telling me about ho-how, um…I don’t want to talk about it.”
“How freaking huge Derek is?”
“…why do you hate me, Stiles?”
“Sharing is caring!”
“Please don’t share with me.”
“Aw, I don’t mind it when you talk about sex with Isaac or when it’s with Allison. I’m cool with it. You don’t seem to mind talking about sex then.”
“Well yeah, because there’s no Derek involve.”
“Yeah, for your information Derek and se-”
“No! Please don’t finish that. Hearing you talk about sex with Derek…is like, is like hearing your parents talk about sex or something!”
“Hmm…I didn’t know when I hooked with Derek, I would be adopting six cubs.”
“Six?”
“Isaac, Erica, Boyd, Jackson, Lydia, and you.”
“What about Allison?”
“I don’t think the Argents will let me adopt her. I could try but I’m too young and hot to die so early.”
“Er, good point.”
“You know, the more I think about it…I’m so the ‘mom’ in the pack, aren’t I?”
“Um….”
“I’m not going to punish you or anything like that for answering me, Scott.”
“Yeah, you kinda of are.”
“What?! Go to your room, mister! Right this second.”
“Hey, don’t blame me. We can’t help it if you’re like the ‘mom’ in our pack. Isn’t that, um, awesome?”
“……don’t tell your brothers or sisters, but you’re my favorite little one.”
“Aw, thanks mom.”
“You’re welcome, sweetie. Now please stop screwing with your brother, Isaac. Our neighbors are starting to whisper and look at us funny.”
“Screw them.”
“I don’t think Isaac and Allison would appreciate you doing that.”
“That’s totally not what I meant!”
“Oh, I know. Messing with you, man.”
“So, why did you need to get my attention for?”
“Huh? Oh, because I wanted to tell you something.”
“That you wanted to be a pretty, pretty princess?”
“No, my little pony boy.”
“Then what?”
“Um…I forgot. Damn, I totally forgot what I was going to tell you! Geezs thanks, Scott.”
“Hey, don’t blame me.”
“No, I’m totally blaming you.”
“Just try to remember and maybe it’ll come back to you or something.”
“Hmph. I can’t believe this and I tried so hard to get your attention.”
“Oh yeah, twenty minutes, right?”
“Yes, twenty minutes. Why is that so hard to belie-AH! I remember!”
“Well? What is it?”
“Derek’s nine inches long!”
“STILES!!!”
“………what? I’m just joking. Well, actually I’m not. But I mean what I originally wanted to tell you was if you wanted to get some pizza. So pizza?”
“You actually expect me to eat after telling me that?”
“Why not? It always makes me hungry aft-”
“Please stop and just order the pizza.”
“Oh al-right, my little pony.”
“And make sure to ask for extra pepperoni, pretty, pretty princess!”