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The first time Adam saw him, he’d been sweeping the leaves off the front steps like his mom had asked him to. First there was the sound of pounding feet and suddenly, six feet of handsome was jogging on his street, headphones plugged in and looking around curiously as he went on his way. What else was Adam supposed to do but stop and stare, watch as the stranger ran across the street, nearly oblivious to his existence except for a brief quick smile of acknowledgement?
“He’s really hot, mom. I can’t even lie about it,” Adam had said almost immediately upon telling his mother about the jogger. Kate had laughed and rolled her eyes.
“You don’t have something to tell me, do you, Adam?”
“What? No! He was just…I dunno, something about him….” Adam had answered, not knowing how right he was.
As it turned out, the stranger he’d watched jog on his block was new to Windom, to their very neighborhood, in fact. He was also new to their church. He was the priest they were rotating in to replace Father Chuck, who was finally retiring and hoping to write his book series with his free time.
Adam was quite sure that despite all his good, he was going to hell for finding their new priest attractive.
He felt so lucky that his mom and practically all the women in the parish agreed.
--
When Adam first saw Father Michael, he had turned 16. At 16 years old at 10 in the morning, you would think it was too early to have to deal with his brother’s crass humor.
Meaning sex jokes.
Meaning Adam not having any because he was a pussy. Apparently.
“Seriously, Dean? I’m gonna poison your eggs,” Adam threatened, giving him an unamused face from the stove. Dean grinned cheekily, sipping his coffee as he sat at the table.
“You wouldn’t dare. Mom’ll kill you, doofus,” Dean replied easily, having gotten used to calling his stepmother that ever since she had nursed him through a horrible fever a year after they had all moved in together.
“I’m the baby, dad’ll side with me,” Adam countered while pointing the spatula at the twenty-seven year old. Dean scoffed then but he let it go, knowing that John indeed liked to pick Sam or Adam’s sides over Dean in these things, something about being the oldest meaning he had obvious leverage in the first place. Adam grinned smugly at his brother before getting their breakfast ready. John was still sleeping in and Kate was already at the hospital for her shift, Sam still away at Stanford for the semester. Adam set a plate for their dad to heat up later before sitting down with Dean.
“Mom said you guys have a new priest and stuff now,” Dean said before biting down on his buttered toast. Adam felt his cheek flame up but he just made a noise of affirmation and drank from his orange juice, hoping Dean didn’t notice. “The way she was going on about him, pretty sure dad’s gonna want to go to church every Sunday just to make sure he doesn’t hit on her,” Dean joked, causing Adam to snort into his drink, coughing a bit as he swallowed wrong.
“W-what? He’s our priest!” Adam protested, earning a mildly surprised look from Dean before it turned into a leer.
“You wanna get in on some of that holy spirit action, Adam?” Dean asked, relishing how Adam sputtered and bitchfaced at him.
“N-No!”
“Awww, Adam’s got a crush.”
“I do not. I’d appreciate it if you shut the fuck up right now, Dean,” Adam said indignantly, making a move to take away Dean’s plate. His brother was quick though and he grabbed it, holding it away from Adam’s hands as he snickered.
“Do you get off when he reads the—“
“Dean.” It was Adam’s face this time that made Dean stop and he almost wilted from how distraught Adam looked.
“Hey, I was just joking around, okay?” Dean said quietly, reaching out to run his hand through Adam’s hair, hoping to calm him down. The blond nodded quickly then, pressing his lips together. “Adam…”
“S’cool, Dean. Finish your breakfast, okay? I have practice in a while and you’re dropping me off, remember?” Adam said, giving a tight smile before he got up to get ready. Dean watched Adam leave and made a note to himself to start going to mass, if only to keep an eye on Adam and make sure he was okay.
--
Now, Adam was actually a busy kid. He had not only baseball training for the school season but also youth group at the church and he was also a scout leader. Well, that in-between place where he was already an Eagle Scout and he was still involved and hoping to become a troop leader. And that wasn’t including any time he spent at the garage helping John and Dean with the paperwork or when he went to class at the church. He spent a lot of time in that damn building and honestly, he was wondering if it was a curse.
Father Michael was there; it was his church, after all.
The first time Father Michael and him got into a real discussion, it was after his class one Sunday in the spring. It was the Sunday before Lent was to start, initiating the season that gave way to Easter, and Adam just asked too many questions for the teacher’s liking. He mostly did it to troll Brother Raphael but that was one guy that needed to loosen up a bit. Raphael had asked him to stay after class and he’d gone to get Michael. Adam should’ve seen it coming.
“So…Adam, right?” Father Michael started off, sitting down across the table to Adam, waving Raphael off to let him know he could handle this alone. It wasn’t like Adam was a problem child or something.
“Y-yeah….” Adam sank down in his seat a bit, fiddling with his fingers on the table and keeping his eyes on them.
“Hey, you do not need to look like that. You are not in trouble or anything, promise,” Michael insisted, unlacing his fingers and pressing his hands on the table a bit, going for earnest. And of course Adam just had to notice how pretty his gray eyes were. Adam flushed despite himself and nodded.
“I figured.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. What the hell’s Raphael gonna get me in trouble for? Asking questions isn’t a bad thing,” Adam said, his eyes widening when he caught his words at the last moment. Michael chuckled though and nodded, gesturing to Adam.
“You are right. But you know you—“
“Shouldn’t swear. Yeah, I try. Believe me,” Adam added, eyes widening a bit as he thought of just how much his father and Dean swore and cursed whenever his mother wasn’t around. It was like she was their filter or something, really. Michael chuckled again at that before grinning and leaning forward.
“Alright, so you know you should not swear here. How about you tell me about all those questions you have?” The father quirked his lips up in a quick half-smile and Adam felt his breath catch in that moment. He swallowed, suddenly flushing again before letting out a sigh and shrugging.
“You’ll probably just do what he did.”
“What was that?”
“Besides get you?” Adam asked with an arched eyebrow. Michael snorted before returning the look until Adam sighed again. “He said that all my questions could be answered if I had faith.”
“Well, I could answer them, whether or not they are answered by faith. That is usually the easy way out of questions when you are dealing with young children but well, you are older so that just does not cut it for you, right?” Michael said, leaning his forearms on the table to sit more comfortably. Adam looked at him for that moment before giving a smile and then nodding.
“Exactly.” A moment of silence and then Adam mimicked the priest’s position, his lips quirked into a challenging smirk. “Alright then, Father. Let’s see what you can tell me.”
Religious debate definitely hadn’t been on Adam’s list of things to do that Sunday but with Father Michael treating him like an actual adult, giving him the straightforward answers and not hiding behind Church doctrine, Adam felt himself enjoying it. The laughs he managed to get out of Michael told him that the other man had enjoyed it as well.
--
His sixteenth year turned out to be one of those years where things just went their family’s way. The garage did really well for some reason, probably Dean’s skills with classics, and the money coming into the house was pretty damn steady. Their school team made it to the state championships and won the series three out of five. Adam already had a couple of college looking his way because of it. But probably the best thing to happen to them that year was Sam graduating from Stanford in May. Sam decided to come back home for the summer to decide whether or not he was going to start working or go to Stanford Law.
“Seriously, Sam, you can do pretty much anything you want now. A 176 on the LSAT is like a 40T on the MCAT,” Adam said excitedly as he bounced on Sam’s bed. As well as they got along with Dean, they were closer to each other, mostly for the nerd aspect. Both of them were into school and had often been in the same clubs at one time or another, mostly Adam getting involved after Sam had left. The brunet gave his younger half brother an indulgent smile and shrugged as he sat backwards in his computer chair, swiveling from side to side slightly as he leaned his forearms on the back.
“Pretty much, I guess. I might just stay and work in the garage if they need me. You’re not gonna be around to help out in a couple of years and Dean and dad say I should know the basics at least before getting my own car,” Sam answered, reminding Adam about his own future. He was still in class until June but junior year was the year for his grades and that was coming up. The blond frowned a bit in response before grinning brightly.
“Actually, there were scouts at the games. Some of them liked my stuff.”
“Really?” Sam’s face took on a surprised yet eager look and Adam remembered then that Sam would probably be pitching on some team’s minor team if he hadn’t gotten tendonitis in his shoulder.
“Yeah. They told coach to put me in the outfield next year just to see how my arm is but I’m at first and third, you know how I can throw,” Adam told him, earning a nod.
“Of course. Do you wanna work on that while I’m here then? The field behind your church is still good, right?” Adam gave Sam a bright grin and nodded, not expecting a simple baseball workout to turn into what it did.
See, Adam had forgotten at the time about Father Michael being there. In the excitement of his big brother being back home and willing to work with him, he’d forgotten about the simple attraction that had gotten worse over the course of the year and blown up into an actual crush. As in, a crush on his very male, very asexual priest. At least, he was pretty sure Father Michael wasn’t the type of Catholic priest that was always in the news for misconduct with little altar boys. That thought always made Adam feel wrong because he had been one for Father Chuck and any thoughts of naughty behavior with Father Michael while in his white linens would get thoroughly scrubbed out by that little fact.
Whether he got off to it before remembering Father Chuck was something he would keep to himself.
Either way, heading over to the nearby church to play some catch wasn’t supposed to turn into what it did.
About an hour into their throwing time, Father Michael arrived from another parish where he had been assisting in confessions. There Adam was, in a pair of basketball shorts and cleats, shirt long tossed to the floor, with his glove on his head to provide shade as Sam rested his arm for a bit. At least Sam wasn’t half naked when Michael greeted them.
“Adam? “ The blond turned then, only to pale as much as he could with a sweaty pink face.
“Father?” He squeaked, removing his glove from his head and ruffling his hair as if to fix it even though the sweat was doing nothing but spiking it up more. Michael laughed and came closer, not minding the grass since he himself was wearing a pair of black sneakers. Sam perked up and came closer, one hand tugging at his shirt so as to air himself out a bit.
“I forgot that you played,” the priest said with an amused tone, almost fond. Adam cast his eyes down, almost embarrassed that the other had thought it important to even know that little tidbit.
“U-Uh, yeah. Sam’s back from— Sam’s my other big brother,” Adam turned then, gesturing to the floppy-haired college grad before looking back at Michael. “Sam used to play too so we were just working on my arm a bit.”
“Ah. Very nice to meet you, Sam. I am Father Michael. I have heard great things from Adam and Kate about you,” Michael said sincerely, reaching out to shake the other man’s hand. Sam arched an eyebrow at Adam but smiled easily at the priest.
“Well, if you’ve heard anything from dad and Dean then you’d know I’m not all that great, Father,” Sam said with a grin, earning a laugh even as Adam stayed quiet.
“Oh yes. The one who will not get under a hood. Adam here apparently even knows a few trade tricks, am I right?” Michael’s eyes turned to Adam, bright and focused on him, and the blond could only blush and nod. “Then I will know who to call up just in case anything happens to the parish van.”
“I’ve already told Brother Joshua he needs to go get the tires realigned,” Adam blurted out, making both the others look at him in bemusement. Michael, luckily, very less so.
“And he has not yet?” Michael sighed and shrugged. “I suppose he just prefers the garden to anything else.”
“Joshua’s still around? Wow.”
“Is that really so much of a surprise, Sam?” Michael asked, head cocked just a bit. Adam had to refrain from freaking out, opting to fidget with his glove instead of say anything embarrassing.
“Well, yeah. Him and Father Chuck are like, best friends or something. Father Chuck leaving had me thinking….yeah,” Sam answered, shrugging a bit before glancing at Adam. He held up his glove for him. “You feeling antsy, bro?”
“I-W-Huh? Oh.” Adam stopped then but Michael had already caught sight of him and chuckled a bit.
“I am interrupting you and I apologize. I will just head inside. You are welcome to continue here for as long as you want, Sam, Adam,” Michael offered with an easy grin. ‘Stop making me like you,’ Adam thought almost miserably, even as he smiled shyly and nodded in thanks. Sam had other plans though.
“Actually, Father. Do you uh, did you ever play? I mean, my shoulder’s still acting up so uh, maybe you can keep up with Adam for a bit?” Adam stood still for a second before turning slowly to Sam, face blank as if he were contemplating killing him or kissing him for doing that. Michael looked startled before letting out a quick laugh and scratching the back of his head sheepishly.
“I have not touched a ball since the move but I do have a glove, if Adam so wishes,” He said, looking at the blond with a curious gaze. Adam’s face managed to properly turn pink and he bit his lip as he glanced up at him.
“Are you sure? You don’t have anything to do right now?” He asked nervously instead of saying an immediate yes like he wanted to. Michael thought for a moment before shaking his head.
“My only real appointment for today was at Our Lady of Sorrows and I’ve just come back from there. I will…change into something more appropriate and return?” Michael said, looking at the brothers for confirmation. Sam nodded for both of them and they watched Michael walk off the large plot of grass towards the church, disappearing inside.
“What was that?” Sam and Adam asked each other instantly, one almost angry whereas the other was amused. “Adam. Why does your priest make you so nervous?”
“Why’d you have to invite him to play?”
“My shoulder,” Sam answered, as if it were obvious. He tugged off his shirt with a wince and angled himself towards his brother, letting Adam see clearly the tenderness, the redness in Sam’s shoulder. His eyes widened and looking impossibly blue as he gave Sam a guilty look.
“I shouldn’t have—“
“Hey. I offered. And I miss it anyway, I was going to throw with you regardless,” Sam said, a quick grin on his face before he arched an eyebrow at Adam. “Now, why does he make you nervous?”
“I- Just- He-“ Adam gave up and just sighed before shrugging, his face pink with embarrassment. Sam, luckily, had more tact than Dean and instead of saying anything made a small noise of acknowledgement and put his shirt back on. Adam hadn’t thought to do the same so when Michael came back out in shorts and a plain white t-shirt, he felt thoroughly underdressed and overexposed. He looked back at Sam instantly, gathering his nerves, hoping to ignore how good Michael’s legs looked, and missing the momentary look of something Michael gave him.
“Is everything alright?” He asked, head tilted again as he moved closer, glove hanging loosely from his right hand. Sam shook his head and motioned for them to go ahead, stepping back and plopping down on the grass underneath a tree. Adam gave Michael a quick sheepish look before stepping back a bit. Michael did the same, tightening his glove and looking at the blond expectantly. “I hope you will go easy on me, Adam.”
“I’ll try. It’s probably not good to show up your priest in our nation’s pastime,” Adam replied cheekily, earning a laugh that settled his nerves a bit more. He tossed the baseball Michael’s way, pleased that the other caught it with relative ease. Even more pleased that Michael’s toss back packed a bit of a punch. “Uh oh. Does this feel like somebody who’s got skills?”
“I assure you, mine are lacking,” Michael answered with a grin, even as he flexed his left hand. Adam blinked in surprise before throwing the ball back.
“You’re a lefty,” he noted, pleasantly surprised. Michael nodded and tossed the ball back.
“Yes I am. You seem to be of the other persuasion though.” Adam almost lost the ball on that one, the double meaning heavy in his mind. Sam snorted behind him though and he remembered to shape up quickly.
“I’m both, actually. I bat left and throw right usually but I’ll switch it up depending on the pitcher,” Adam answered, Michael’s face contemplative as they continued to throw. Michael eventually asked about Sam’s schooling as well as the health of everyone in the house so Adam’s awkwardness left him little by little. By the time any of them thought to stop, it was almost time for one of Father’s evening masses.
“Oh, oh dear.... Adam, I have enjoyed this time with you and your brother but I must get washed up. I am sure it will not do for the one in charge of service to be less than presentable.”
“Ahh, that’s right....” Adam jogged towards him, gloved hand out to accept the softly tossed baseball before pulling it off and tucking it under his arm. “Thanks again, Father Michael. It was fun.”
“I agree,” Michael said softly, a smile on his face as they shook hands. They broke apart after a few moments, Adam flushed as Michael seemed a bit surprised, and then both went their separate ways, Michael into the church and Adam to his brother.
“I won’t tell Dean,” Sam promised on the way back home, noting Adam’s still flushed skin. The blond nodded, not bothering to tell Sam that Dean already knew.
--
Playing catch with Michael and Sam over the summer somehow managed to escalate to Adam going to the rectory almost every weekend during the school year. The sisters of the nearby orphanage often helped out as much as they could and Adam found himself a good friend in Sister Anna. The redhead served as the main secretary of the church and they had known each other since she started working there but the opportunity to get close had only presented itself that summer with Adam’s constant presence.
It wasn’t like she was blind to Adam’s attraction to Michael either.
“I think it’s adorable.”
“I think if you weren’t a sister, I’d say some really rude things to you right now, Anna,” Adam told her, sitting beside her in the small office as they folded programs for a funeral later that week. She gave him a soft smile before bumping her shoulder into his, making him look up.
“Look, I’m being serious. You’re basically one of his favorite kids here at the church and he’s your favorite... everything.” Adam tightened his jaw even as his cheeks colored in pleasure of her assessment. Even though she’d called him a kid, being considered by Michael in any way had him ecstatic. It was quite embarrassing.
“That’s great and all, Sister Anna, but it’s not like there’s anything I can do about it,” Adam finally said, folding up the last of the papers before getting up. “I’ll stop by next week again after the scout meeting. Call me if anything.”
“...You got it, Adam,” Anna said softly, watching him leave before looking towards the dining room, seeing Michael there seated quietly. A beat and she came to sit next to him, her hands folded in her black robes. He tilted his head to her finally and she could see that he had a rosary clenched tightly in his fists, his face carefully blank. “You heard, then?”
“...Voices echo from the office. I could not really avoid it.”
“Are you going to avoid him?” She asked gently, relieved to see him shake his head slowly.
“There is no reason to. All it is is a... it will pass, Anna,” Michael told her before standing up, allowing her to squeeze his hand quietly before practically fleeing upstairs to the private rooms. Anna sat back in her chair with a sigh, wondering how much of this she would have to watch.
Adam’s junior year was spent more or less like his sophomore year had been, oddly enough. The lone difference proved to be his activity at the church. He went to class as normal but he also helped Anna and Michael when he could, becoming even more of a fixture. By the time the summer rolled by once more, parishioners came to him for questions almost as much as they went to Michael. It proved too much for Anna to ignore any longer.
“So, Adam, guess what?” She asked one warm day, the two walking around the inside of the church and picking up the misplaced hymn books in the seats. Adam straightened and arched an eyebrow at her, not liking her tone.
“Should I be worried?” He asked almost immediately, earning a soft scoff.
“No. Well, not really.” The look he gave her made her laugh before trying again. “Possibly. I have to go away for the summer and I would like you to take over working in the office for me.”
“Wait, seriously?”
“Yes. You pretty much know everything already and the parishioners are comfortable with you. Besides that, I know Father Michael will be alright with you here in my stead.” Anna gave the blond a gentle smile then and before he knew it, Adam had agreed to spend his summer trapped in the church.
--
It turned out not being as horrible as it sounded. The first couple of days were almost like any other weekend that Adam spent there. As the days went by and summer truly got into its swing, Adam realized just how monotonous it all was. There was no break in the silence besides the occasional visitor and even then, what was twenty minutes at best in the middle of eight hours? Despite his best intentions, Father Michael was always out, always helping somewhere else, always leaving him alone.
At least he had free reign of the internet.
June blended into July almost seamlessly, the heat and humidity rising a bit more than usual in Minnesota. It left Adam constantly sweating and if it hadn’t been for the weak air conditioning in the office, he was sure he would have had a heat stroke. Luckily, those horrible days he was able to take off his shirt in peace since none of the old ladies of the church left their apartments in that kind of weather. He hadn’t banked on Michael staying for the same reason.
“Adam, are you there? I was wondering-” Father Michael stopped in the doorway just as Adam was mid-stretch in the computer chair, gray eyes widened in surprise. Adam found himself flushing as he bit his lip in embarrassment and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Uh, sup?”
“...” Michael pressed his lips together, taking in the blond before licking his lips and sighing. “I know it is hot, Adam but-”
“Can’t go around giving the old ladies heart attacks, right,” Adam interrupted self-consciously, reaching over and grabbing his light green t-shirt. Michael blinked at him, swallowing awkwardly before giving a shaky nod.
“It-I understand how unbearable the heat is being. It feels almost as bad as New York and that is something that I did not expect here. Still, you should keep your... your shirt on when visitors are around.”
“Of course I put my shirt on then, Father. I’m not that vulgar,” Adam managed to joke with an eyeroll. Michael brought up a hand to cover his mouth, poorly hiding his laugh.
“Very well. So long as that is covered.” Adam raised an eyebrow at him before Michael flushed and gave him a look before holding out a piece of paper. “You know what I meant, Adam. Now, can you please call these numbers to make sure they’re coming to help with this weekend’s masses? I know things have been.... quiet, as of late.”
“It’s been like a crypt in here, Father,” the blond corrected even as he took the slip from the other’s fingers, trying to ignore the tingling on his skin from the brief contact.
“...My last parish was not nearly as quiet as this one, no,” Michael admitted, looking of to the side at the comment. Adam gave a quick snort before turning around and grabbing the phone, not noticing how Michael’s gaze fell on his back, watching how he moved for a few moments before leaving once Adam began speaking into the phone. Adam glanced back just to see Michael leaving, frowning as he realized that the priest was still wearing dark colors. That sucked.
What even sucked more was that none of the helpers for that days mass were able to make it.
“You have a cold? In the summer?!”
“You’re... on vacation. Why didn’t you say so earlier then?”
“Hey, don’t yell at me, kid. Being an altar server isn’t just a gig during the school year.”
“You’ve just had a baby? Congrats! Oh, it’s.... not yours. So why’re- Nope, nope! Good luck, buddy, no need to answer!”
“Adam, how is it going?” Michael asked as he reappeared in the doorway, mildly alarmed at the sight of Adam repeatedly thumping his head on the desk. The blond looked up at him, forehead red from the self-inflicted abuse, and he could only imagine how he looked. “Not... well?”
“None of them can make it. A few not for the next couple of weeks, actually.”
“And none of them call to say so themselves,” Michael murmured gently, frowning a bit before sighing. “Well, nothing we can do but make do, I suppose.”
“I can help with the masses, Father. I did them with Father Chuck,” Adam offered, rubbing his head with a small pout. The priest blinked in surprise before cocking his head, looking at Adam carefully.
“Are you sure? You already spend so much time here and it is not at all that fun for you.”
“I’ll be fine s’long as it’s with you,” Adam said without a thought, giving Michael a bright grin. “You make it not so bad.”
“I-Well... I am glad you feel that way, Adam,” Michael answered, just a bit flushed. He nodded once before giving the blond a smile. “Very well. I shall see you later for mass then. I look forward to it.”
“You got it, Father,” Adam said, almost too eager as he held both thumbs up. Michael chuckled before turning away, ready to leave the office before looking back.
“Remember that you must wear your shirt underneath the server garment, Adam,” Michael chided, the quirk of his lips letting Adam know he was joking. The blond laughed, bringing his shirt up to cover his chest as Michael left. It took a moment for Adam to lower the cloth, his cheeks reddening as he went over the exchange in his mind. He was so screwed.
Leave it to Adam to get an inappropriate boner while on the altar as Michael was reading the Gospel.
He really didn’t want to let Dean know he had been right about that.
Luckily for him, those were the only awkward moments between the two of them and even then, Michael never noticed them. Adam realized that playing catch with him seemed to change things though. The blond would catch certain looks, gazes, only to see Michael turn away and make a pained face, and he would understand. That didn’t mean that Adam would just let it go though so if he relished the red that crept across the Father’s face whenever he showed up when Adam was shirtless in the office, then that was him.
Even better though, they simply talked. There was nothing better to do with so much free time and the other churches only needed so much help during a decidedly quiet summer. Adam learned that Michael went to Yale on a baseball scholarship, that seminary school seemed to be his calling for as long as he could remember, that he’d only had three real girlfriends before deciding that living his life for God was the way he wanted to spend it. In turn, Adam spoke of college, about wanting to go pre-med, of baseball. Adam spoke of his family, relating stories of Sam’s failures at the garage, of his girlfriend Jess and how amazing she sounded, how Adam was sure they were more serious than Sam gave himself credit for even if she hadn’t come home with him for the summer.
It would have probably been too much to ask Adam to not fall harder for Michael than he already was so to say he was relieved when Michael agreed to exchange email addresses was possibly the understatement of the year.
And if Adam had asked for Michael’s opinions on schools more than his parents or Dean, then that was their business.
And if they exchanged emails at least weekly while he was away at college that was also their business.
--
Adam came back home for summer vacation after his freshman year at the University of Wisconsin and it felt like everything was different. He’s been away from home for the first time ever, he’d had two girlfriends and he’d partied and experimented with as much as he allowed himself to without losing his virginity or getting truly and utterly wasted and embarrassing himself.
He considered that a definite improvement from Dean’s stint at school.
For a week, Adam visited old friends and caught up with everything at home, seeing first hand how amazing Jess was for Sam, how Dean had actually mellowed out now that he’d met a good solid friend in Castiel. The only person Adam really wanted to see but didn’t rush to was Michael. He refrained from scurrying over the first chance he could because John wanted to show him off at the garage, because Kate wanted him to go around with her and visit family friends that had missed him. Honestly, he was pretty surprised that he had lasted that long without even emailing the priest like he had been doing all year. Of course, that was why he went to mass the next Sunday.
“Adam?” The blond turned and gave a big grin in response to Michael’s surprised face. Kate smiled brightly from Adam’s side and leaned over to pat Michael’s arm.
“Yup! Doesn’t he look all grown up? My baby’s back from his first year away,” Kate gushed, causing Adam’s cheeks to tinge pink even as Michael blinked and came back to himself to smile at her.
“Yes, he does. You look very well, Adam. It is good to see you again,” He said, reaching out a hand. Adam spared it a glance before gripping it firmly, looking Michael in the eye.
“It’s good to see you too, Michael.” Adam let his voice drop just a bit when he dropped Michael’s title and when he pulled back, Adam could see he was affected by it. The black-haired priest was pulled away then by an usher, urged to get ready so they could start mass on time. Adam made sure he and his mother sat in their usual seats, middle right, three rows back, perfectly in Michael’s sight and an easy place for them to keep eye contact, as hard as Michael tried to look around.
It wasn’t that difficult for Adam to convince Kate to go home without him afterward. He had his friends from boy scouts there, from youth group, even the older parishioners that had adored him. If anything, he managed to keep the attention off Michael, which was good considering how flushed the father seemed to be the whole time. Adam knew it wasn’t because of the heat as he kept insisting. When he finally got Michael alone, he would never say he cornered him, he convinced him to agree to speak in private. Once the office door closed behind them, they both stood stiffly in front of each other, not wanting to be the first while wanting the other to start. Like everything between them, Adam started them off.
“I really did miss you,” Adam murmured, coming closer with a small grin. Michael ducked his head and nodded, his cheeks pink again.
“I missed you as well. The rectory has never been as quiet as after you left for school,” Michael admitted, finally reaching forward and bringing Adam into a hug. The blond let out a soft sound of relief before clinging to him, hiding his face in Michael’s shoulder. They didn’t say much then, instead relishing the warmth and physical comfort the other provided with the hug. They didn’t let go until Adam’s cellphone began to vibrate in his pocket and he was forced to answer.
“Hello? Yeah. Alright. I’ll be there soon. Yeah. Okay, see ya.” Adam ended the call with a soft click, frowning at it. Michael reached out to put his hand on Adam’s head, petting his hair just a bit, silently asking for the reason for Adam’s sour look. “Jess’ little sister is coming to visit, I think they’re matchmaking.”
“…Oh.” Michael pulled his hand back but Adam proved quick, reaching out and grabbing his wrist sharply. “Adam….”
“Don’t do that,” Adam said instead, bringing his lips to Michael’s palm gently before giving him a soft smile. “Meet up with me tomorrow.”
“If they are expecting you to make nice with your possible future sister-in-law, you should—“
“Meet up with me, Michael. I rather sit down with you and talk about nothing than have to bullshit interest in some little blond thing.”
“Language…Besides, you are blond, Adam,” Michael replied sourly, almost pouting.
“You might be interested in some little blond thing but I like dark hair,” Adam answered smoothly, watching as the blush spread across tanned cheeks. “Meet up with me tomorrow. We’ll play catch in the back like last summer.”
“…Alright. But go. And be civil,” Michael said, smiling just a bit brighter when Adam’s face lit up. “After office hours, alright?”
“Perfect.” Adam leaned forward then, pressing his cheek against Michael’s for a moment before pulling back and kissing his palm again and dropping his hand. “C’mon, lead me out.”
--
The little blond thing turned out to be one Jo Harvelle-Singer and the most surprising thing about her was probably how well she got along with Adam. Somewhere between badgering Dean and teasing Jess and Sam, they clicked and when Adam went to go meet up with Michael that late afternoon, he was actually willing to tell the older man so when asked about her. Thankfully though, they’d kept true to routine and started out with playing catch, each with their own worn comfortable glove tossing around one of the baseballs Adam had kept from the season at school. As the sun sat, they settled themselves on the back steps of the church and watched, their bare calves and knees pressed together.
“I remember the first time I saw you in shorts. Totally shocked,” Adam mused aloud, earning a soft snort of amusement.
“Shocked that I kept in shape or shocked that I was actually allowed to bare my legs?”
“Both?” Adam asked teasingly, causing the other man to roll his eyes just a bit.
“I am not a nun, Adam,” Michael said, chuckling just a bit. Adam shrugged as if he didn’t know the difference before glancing down in his lap, toying with the leather rope of his glove. Michael looked at him for a moment before speaking up again. “What is wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“…Please do not think you can lie to me like that and expect me to believe it. I know you better than that,” Michael said softly, giving Adam a tender look. The blond flushed a bit, pressing his lips together before licking them and looking at Michael.
“If you weren’t a priest, what would you be?” Michael blinked a bit in surprise at the question before pursing his lips a bit, thinking about it seriously. Adam shifted beside him, suddenly nervous about what he’d asked but knowing he couldn’t just leave it at that. After a few uncomfortable moments, Michael answered with a shrug.
“Probably a teacher. Similar enough occupations, no?” Michael offered, Adam nodding jerkily in response.
“Right, yeah.”
“Adam, what do you really want to ask?” Michael took Adam’s surprised look with grace and simply arched an eyebrow. “I double majored theology and psychology with minors in biology and philosophy. Do not think you can hide much around me.”
“A religious bio teacher, that’d be awesome,” Adam murmured instead before shifting again in his spot. Michael sighed and put a hand to Adam’s shoulder.
“Adam, is this about Jess’ sister? Did you find the little blond thing more appealing than expected?” Adam frowned and gave Michael an unhappy look before hanging his head a bit, leaning his arm on his knee and digging his chin into his palm, looking out.
“No. Yes. Whatever.” Before Michael could tell him to speak clearly, Adam continued, rambling. “You’re what you are now and stuff and happy and that’s great but like, what would you be if you’d been a teacher, huh? What if you had been a teacher and we’d never met or what if you were a teacher and we had met? Why’d we have to—“
“Adam.”
“I’m just sayin’, man, what if—“
“Adam. Shut up.”
Adam did as he was told then, more surprised at Michael’s words than the slightly melancholy tone of his voice. He swallowed dryly, his fingers curling into his cheek for that second as if to physically stop himself from speaking more. Michael moved next to him, taking a moment before simply putting his hand on Adam’s head, resting it there. Adam dropped his hand, pressing his lips together as he bowed his head just a bit, looking down at his hands as Michael moved to his neck, his hand large and warm, comforting, calming Adam down before he spoke up.
“You cannot ask why and expect an answer.”
“But—“
“No. Listen.” Michael waited a moment before nodding to himself and squeezing Adam’s neck. “There is no point in asking why because we will never know why for such a question. God does not give us the answer for such an inquiry. What He does provide though, is a way to deal with the hand we have been given. Yes, it is unfair that we are in these circumstances but you are also ignoring very important factors in your questions, Adam.” Adam took the pause for what it was and looking up at Michael, question already falling from his lips.
“Like what?”
“Even if, say, I were this biology teacher of yours, that would be improper. No relations between students and teachers.”
“I’m in college now.”
“What if I were a professor, then? What if we met this year while you were off to school and I was your lab professor? There’s also our age difference, Adam. You have just finished your freshman year of college. You are seventeen and I am…I am twice your age. As much as your mother approves of me as your spiritual leader, I am quite sure she would never approve of any person for you who was older than your half-brothers.” Michael let that sink in for both of them before continuing, his voice soft and steady. “Adam. ‘Why’ is not a good question because the better one to ask is simply, ‘what now’. We can only move forward, whatever our situations.” Michael watched Adam’s face contort, falling and then scrunching up cutely before the blond simply sighed and gave Michael a heavy look.
“…What now, then?” He asked, feeling as if Michael would expect it and therefore actually have an answer for him. To his surprise, and probably to Michael’s own as well, the priest did not have an immediate answer. The brunet let out a soft laugh before pulling his hand back and clasping his hands together, taking up Adam’s previous pose as he appeared to think about it. “Michael….”
“I…Forgive me, Adam. I should have remembered that you are not like the others here,” He said, his voice amused even as his lips pinched together tightly.
“I didn’t….I didn’t want to make this difficult for you,” Adam murmured softly, quickly looking around before reaching out and putting one of his hands over Michael’s joined ones. The blond squeezed gently before licking his lips and sliding a bit closer to whisper more softly. “I really just wanted to know where we were because…because you’re right. Jo’s really cool and she’s my age and she’s…she’s a chick. But…” His voice caught in his throat then and Michael looked up sharply then, his own feelings stamped down immediately upon hearing the hitch in Adam’s throat.
“Adam….” He reached out with a hand and brought Adam to him, hugging him with one arm as the teenager hid his face in Michael’s t-shirt, his lithe fingers clenching the cotton as he spoke.
“I-I just want you, th-that’s all. A-And we c-can’t and I get that. I get it. But it’s not…” He swallowed hard and bowed his head a bit so his forehead leaned on Michael’s shoulder. “It’s not fair,” He whispered, hot tears streaming down his cheeks. Michael tightened his grip, finally holding Adam with both arms, and pressed his cheek to Adam’s head, mind whirling.
“I am sorry, Adam. I am. I—“
“I…I don’t want you to go either. It’s why I don’t…Why I don’t say something stupid like ‘be with me’ or ‘stop being my priest’. This is the life you have. I can’t tell you to stop doing what you love, what you were made for,” Adam added, voice gaining strength even as he sniffled. Michael pulled back just a bit to look at him before pulling back completely, holding Adam by his arms until the blond looked up at him. Then, he reached up and cupped Adam’s face with his hands, using his thumbs to wipe away the tear tracks.
“And this…this is why you are the only person to really make me reconsider my decision,” Michael admitted softly, smiling gently at the sight of Adam’s intense surprise. “The way you feel for me, Adam… it might be more intense than how I feel for you but that may be because I am older but… but I do care for you, more than I should. And as much as it bothers me that we… that we cannot be together in any real sense of the word, I simply enjoy our time together. What comes next for us is just that. The next time we see each other, the next time we talk or email. All of these small joys add up for me and… and I hope they will for you because…”
Michael was interrupted by Adam surging forward then, pressing their lips together chastely before pulling back quickly. Both their face were pink, Michael’s more a blush than Adam’s, but before the blond could speak, Michael moved in then, kissing Adam firmly, lingering for a few moments before pulling back. Adam let out a soft laugh, almost a sob, and nodded.
“Never again, right?”
“Do you regret that?” Michael asked, dropping his hands only for Adam to take one in each of his own and shake his head.
“I’ll never regret anything about you.”
--
“Are you ready?”
Adam glanced back at Michael and grinned wryly before nodding. The older man came up behind him then, patting down Adam’s hair and fixing it to his liking in the mirror in front of them. They were in Michael’s office again, as usual for what seemed like the last few years, but this was it. Things were going to settle. Adam tugged on his tuxedo jacket, rearranging it before turning around and tugging gently at Michael’s clothes, fixing him as well, grinning back cheekily at the soft smile on Michael’s face.
“Now I’m ready,” Adam answered before glancing at the door behind them and then leaning up, hugging Michael tightly. Michael’s arms came around him, Adam’s years of affection finally wearing down Michael’s anxiety towards the motions. There was so much to say and yet they had all the time to say it, they would have the time after today. Adam pulled back first and glanced up before pressing their lips together faintly, the pressure barely there but more than enough to exchange what he was thinking. Michael’s cheeks grew hot as they pulled away, the both of them unable to look away until there was a knock at the door.
“They’re ready!”
They pulled apart then, rearranging themselves again uselessly before exiting Michael’s office and heading to the church. The seats were filled with close family and friends, quite a few people coming in from far away as well. As they walked to the front of the church, they felt all eyes on them. This was it.
Michael rearranged his vestments again, taking his book out as Adam and the rest of the church looked to the back of the church. Adam’s brothers stood by his side up front but Michael knew that they were looking at him, faces heavy with pity of all things. He gave them a small smile, encouraging them to be supportive of their decision and after getting twin nods, he looked to Adam, watching him as he watched his fiance appear at the doors suddenly, the white dress unfailingly breathtaking on Jo as she hovered there with her stepfather as the march started playing.
This was for the best, despite how they felt.
This was for the best because of how they felt.