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I emerged from the blood soaked waters of the Gullet, gasping for air. Fire was all around, everyone screaming…and my beloved Vermax shrieked in pain… He was strangled by the ropes of the ship, dragged down under the water.
I could do nothing to save him, despite wanting to do so. Gods, I wanted to save him so much, but I saw it’s too late, when the spar fell on him, killing him finally…
What was I thinking? All I wanted was to burn those Triarchy bastards. I wanted them to die, so much. I wanted to burn everyone who tried and took the side with Greens. I swore to burn them all. To burn all those who hurt my family. All those who were to blame for this war, for deaths of the innocent, for death of…my dear brother… My dear younger brother…
But it seems I flew too low. Vermax hit the spar and got tangled in the ropes. I managed to save myself by jumping off of his back, all though I did it with no happiness. And now as I watched his body sink under the waves, I couldn’t help but let a few tears get from my eyes.
My companion and friend since my birth…was gone and it was my fault. I tried to swim to the nearest ship of ours. But there was non in sight. I still tried to escape the waters. All around wreckage, burning wood, dead bodies. But all I wanted was to get to safety, for my mother’s sake. She already lost one son. I couldn’t die today. Not here. But as I was swimming through the wreckage of the ships…
„THERE! SHOOT HIM!“ I heard the soldier of the Triarchy. They noticed me. I had to hurry. I started to swim faster, but my leather riding clothes were slowing me down, taking all my strenght. But it was hard to breathe. I felt my arms and legs getting weaker and weaker. But I couldn’t afford to stop. I had to pull through.
But then… A crossbow bolt hit me. It pierced through my shoulder. I screamed in pain. They got me… I couldn’t swim anymore. But I still tried. I was kicking my legs to get away.
But then another bolt pierced through my body, this time it hit my right hip. Another wave of pain. I was completely lost. With all my strenght I managed to get to a floating piece of wood from the ship and to get on it.
But another bolt pierced through my hand. The pain was immense. I couldn’t get up. So I stayed in the water, holding onto that piece of wood with all my strenght left. I hoped that those bastards will stop shooting st me if I play dead. So I didn’t move.
But they didn’t stop. Another bolt went through my right side, another through my leg. And it went on and on… Noises of the world were becoming one unrecognizable mess, my sight was blurry. Alk I felt was pain and…exhaustion.
But I had to survive. I must survive. To avenge my brother, princess Rhaenys, everyone eho died for us. But it seems the Gods will not grant me that favor.
„I…am…s-sorry…“ I mumbled to myself out loud as another bolt hit me in my back. „I…f-failed you…m-mother… I failed…you…L-Luke…“
Luke…my sweet, kind and always shy brother. He was always there with me. We did everything together. Trained, studied, played together. When Aemond wanted to crush my head with rock, Luke protected me by cutting out his eye… He did it for me.
He slways was there for me. In later years, he became more closed into himself, more insecure, more scared. He needed a big brother who will help him to overcone it. But instead… I only pushed him too far, making him more insecure. I was so focused on us being heirs our mother needed us to be… And completely ignored his feelings.
But I was too blind to see. Until that day…when the news of his death got to me. I collapsed on the floor, weeping, screaming, cursing, crying… Lady Arryn had to call the Maester for me as I was not to calm down. It was the moment I realized what have I done. I shouldn’t make that proposal to bare those messages. If I didn’t, Luke would still live. He was afraid, but he still did it because he wanted to make our mother proud…
It was my fault. I killed him.
All I wished now…was just to see him. Hug him. Tell him how sorry I am for everything. For sending him for death, for not listening to him…for not being there for him.
Then… A sharp pain pierced my throat. My eyes widened in shock. I felt my mouth and lungs fill…with blood. The bolt pierced through my throat. I started to choke. Blood was suffocating me. I tried to breathe, but it was no use.
Blood was pouring from my throat and mouth like a waterfall. I felt my body becoming heavier, my eyes slowly closing. Noise was disappearing, no sound to be heard. I looked at the sky above me. The sun was rising. A new day was here…but I will not be there to live it.
„F-fo…rgi…ve… Me…“ I managed to get out of myself with my last dying breath. I couldn’t hold my head up. I let my head hit the wood I was hanging on, watching tge last sights of the world I am about to leave now. As my eyes were closing forever… my grip on the wood loosened. I felt my body slowly slipping into the waters of the Gullet.
So this is how I die…? Alone, lost under the waves…just like Luke… Never to be found by my mother or anyone, being a food for creatures below. I didn’t want it to end like this…but I had mo saying in that…
My eyes closed and I saw and heard nothing more. Only thing I felt was the water slowly taking me into it’s depths. My chest, my neck, my face…and finally my hand that was still holding onto the wood.
I was falling… Falling forever…in the embrace of the water to be forever one with it. In my final moment… all I could think of was Luke. I wanted to be with him… I wished to see him… I needed him… I even imagined his voice…calming me down. All he was saying was:
„It will be fine, Jace…“
I felt so weak…so cold… And then…nothing… except a sudden warm embrace, like if my mother took me into her arms, cradling me to fall asleep. And so I did… I was finally free… I could…finally rest…
My eternal rest was broken soon. I didn’t open my eyes. I didn’t want to. I felt like I am being rocked in a cradle. Around me, I heard water and splashing of it, like if someone was…paddling on a boat.
I felt warmness all around me. It felt like being wrapped in the blankets, just like a little baby. So warm… I moved my hands a bit. I felt a soft fabric, seft like a cloud and so warm. I tried to breath. I felt a cool air flow through my lungs. Pain pulsed through my body, from all the places I was hit in.
I whined in agony. It hurt so much. I felt tears falling from my eye.
„I-It…hurts…so much…“ I cried, my voice raspy and weak. Suddenly, I felt a touch of a hand on my head, stroking my hair gently. The paddling sounds stopped. But instead of them… I heard a soft humming…. Humming…that sounded like a song I knew really well. But before I could say anything, a familiar voice sounded near me.
„I know, Jace… I know… But it will soon stop…“ I openned my eyes slowly. Above me, there was a blue sky, a few clouds floating through it. I looked around. I was laying on a small boat, wrapped in the soft white blankets like if I was a baby. It seemed the boat was sailing somewhere.
I looked behind me slowly…and my eyes became two pools of tears. Right behind me, in his black and red doublet, coat on his back and his riding pants and boots, sat the only person I desperately called for in my last moments.
„L-Luke…? I-Is…it…you…?“ I sobbed, my feelings overhelming me. His hand was still stroking my hair. It was so warm and gentle. He leaned forward so I could see him better. To see his rounded face, innocent smile, his black eyes that were usually tearing up. But not now.
His brown curly hair were falling over his forehead, right above his eyes, breeze gently moving with it. He smiled softly and giggled at me.
„Who else…brother?“ In that moment, my instinct was to get up and wrap my arms around him. But when I tried, pain stopped me. I howled in agony again. Luke’s hands gently pushed into my shoulders, keeping me down.
„Don’t… Your soul…is still weak from passing away…“ he said gently, wiping the tears from my eyes. Not that it helped as I couldn’t hold my cries anymore.
„L-Luke…m-my brother… P-Please, forgive me…“ I wailed as he stroked my face with his fingers. „It…was all my fault… I should’ve never… Propose that…w-we will be m-messemgers… I sent you to d-die… I’m so sorry…“ Luke gently grabbed me from under the blanket and pulled me closer, leaning my head on his legs.
„You couldn’t know… Nobody could know…“ he said in a calming tone. But it wasn’t helping.
„I…should have been there for you… I didn’t see how you’re f-feeling…forcing…you into…being someone who our mother…wanted us to be… I wasn’t there for you… I’m a horrible brother… P-Please…forgive me, Lucerys…“
I was crying like I never was. My body trembled under my sobs, causing pain coming in waves. But I didn’t care, for I deserved much worse pain than that. But Luke continued stroking my face and hair, smiling softly.
„There is nothing to forgive, Jace… It doesn’t matter… All that matters is that we are together…and nothing will ever separate us…“ he said before he stopped carresing my face and took the oars, paddling backwards. The boat started to rock gently, making me feel like I am in a cradle.
„S-so… We are…dead?“ I asked him. „Yes…and this is the afterlife...“ he answered, still with that calm voice.
„M-mother will never find us… We are both lost…under the sea…“ I sobbed. Even Luke sobbed a little.
„Yes…but we will meet with her one day… Everyone is here…“ I looked at him with teary eyes. He saw I wanted to hug him badly. He stopped paddling for a moment and helped me into sitting position. I moved back so I’d be closer to him.
Then he hugged me gently from behind. His embrace felt so gentle, so warm, so loving…so caring… Normally it was me, who was calming down my brother. But now… I was the mess. I cried and cried and cried, not able to stop.
„I’m sorry… I should have protect you…“ I wailed, nuzzling against his legs. All he did was just hugging me tighter. I rubbed my face against his sleeves, trying to wipe the tears and looked around. We were floating on a lake, water shining like a gold, mountains and meadows in the distance. The sun was warm and bright, drying my teary face with it’s gentle light.
„W-Where…are we sailing?“ I sobbed. Luke chuckled and let me go, to my sadness.
„To a place…where we belong…“ he said as he again took the oars and started to paddle again. I couldn’t do anything else than lay my head on his lap and cry into it.
„I… I missed you…s-so much…“ I sobbed. „And I will never…leave you again…“ Luke smiled at me and chuckled a bit.
„We will be here…until the end of time. Nothing will separate us…“ I cried out in relief and buried my head into his lap, crying in happiness.
Luke didn’t speak a single word from then until our boat got on the shore. Luke let go of the oars and looked somewhere behind him. I was too weak to get up and look what he was looking at. Soon I heard footsteps coming to our boat. A fear washed my whole soul.
„Who…is it?“ I asked shakily. Luke instead of answer, gently stroked my hair, still looking at the person approaching our boat. As the footsteps reached the boat, Luke nodded in my direction, soft smile on his face. Before I could ask hin what is going on, I felt two strong but gentle hands taking me and raising me from the boat.
I first panicked and wanted to scream. I didn’t want to be separated from Luke again. But in the moment I looked at the one who took me ib their arms, I stopped every resistance.
The one who was holding me in their arms was a tall and strong man with long brown curly hair, black eyes, smaller nose and a kind smile. It was a familiar face… The one I didn’t see nearly seven years, since the day he left from King’s Landing. But it felt like it was yesterday when I saw him for the last time. My eyes were tearing up again as I managed to finally speak again.
„S-Ser…Harwin…?“
„Come on, Jace…“ he said kindly, cradling me like I was a baby. „You know who I trully am…“ I looked at Luke, who now stood next to us both, nodding in response. I knew who he was indeed. But I always feared to admit it. I feared it would cost us all everything we ever had. But now…I could finally say those words…
„F-Father…“ I let out a silent cry, rubbing my face into his chest as I started to cry again. The weight of the world seemed to finally fall from me. Now…I was trully free from all the pain.
„F-Father… I…I…“
„Shh…It’s alright, Jace…“ said my father, wiping the tears of my face. „It is alright… You are safe now…“
Luke joined the hug, hugging both of us gently. As they both were hugging me, I felt I am finally at peace. I let them both warm me. As I needed the comfort and care. I needed Luke…I needed my father…my real father.
„I-Is…ser Laenor here…too?“ I asked them both. Father and Luke both shook their heads.
„Huh…? But…he-.“
„We will talk about it later…my son.“ Said father as Luke releassed us from hug. Father then turned around and walked to a coblestone walk that led to a small but beautiful keep on the shore.
„We will have all time in the world...so you can ask your questions… But now, I will take you home…and will be a father for you…“ he said with care. My eyes again teared up, as I nodded in agreement. I again looked at Luke, who walked next to us, smiling at me. His shy smile was so calming…
„I…don’t want this to ever end…“ I said as we entered the keep. Both of them looked at me and with a calm and gentle tone, both said in unisono:
„It won’t, Jace… It won’t…“