Work Text:
It’s Saturday morning and both Stiles and Derek are still in bed. No, scratch that, it’s just Stiles who is still in bed. Still in bed and watching his boxer clad boyfriend walk around in his bedroom. Oh, how Stiles loves sleeping over at Derek’s place. “Dude, I had a weird ass dream last night. And I’m talking majorly weird, like you having a unicorn farm in the back of your house weird.”
“………”
“I’m going to take your silence as ‘go ahead Stiles, please tell me about your dream and while you’re at it, your goals and hopes in life too’!”
“I didn’t say anything because regardless of what I say, you were going to tell me anyway.”
“Aww, really? You know me so well! See, we’re perfect match right here!” Stiles stares at the now shirtless Derek from the bed and feels really compelled to ask “By the way…if you really did have a unicorn farm, you would tell me, right?”
“Hmph.”
“Anyway, what was I babbling about? Hmm…oh yeah! So yeah, I had this bizarre dream where for some godforsaken reason, I was a chick! A really hot one to where I would even do me because I was that ridiculously hot.” Stiles sees Derek’s raise an eyebrow but continues on “I was a hot chick and you were a hot dude, well, you’re always a hot dude. But that’s not the point of the weird dream though, it’s the fact you got me knocked up! And on purpose too!”
Derek openly stares at his mate whose still in bed. He then stares at the empty bowl on the nightstand. “Stiles, this is the last time I’m going to let you eat a bowl full of sugar before going to sleep.”
“It was not a bowl full of sugar, Derek! It was a delicious bowl of Lucky Charms!”
“Same thing.”
“No, it’s not the same thing! I eat Lucky Charms because there’s little marshmallow shape moons in it and I know you love moons. I also know you love stars, hearts, clovers, balloons, and rainbows! And don’t act like you didn’t eat some yourself last night. There are two spoons in that empty bowl, mister.”
Derek decides to say nothing for his own sake. Instead, he looks for a shirt to wear. As he’s looking for a shirt, he hears Stiles ask “Don’t you at least want to know if the baby was a boy or girl?”
After a long moment and finding a black shirt, Derek sighs as he puts it on. “Alright, what was it?”
“What? Our baby is not an ‘it’, Derek! I can’t believe you just said that!” Derek simply rolls his eyes and reminds himself to hide any and all cereal boxes from Stiles when nighttime falls. “That’s just so harsh, babe. Anyway, I don’t know.”
“You don’t know what?”
“I don’t know what the sex of the baby was.”
“You woke up before finding out?” he sits on the bed, besides Stiles.
“No, because well, this is really funny which I’m not sure the dream girl me shares but, the baby was a…cub. But the cutest baby wolfy cub there ever was! Obviously our cub got his or her cuteness from me and its black fur from you. I swear, the dream girl me must have been darn proud of herself for giving birth to such a cutie because let’s face it, not all babies are cute when they’re born. Now don’t get me wrong, if someone shows me a not so cute baby, I’m going to lie through my teeth and say ‘of course’. Only because I was an ugly baby when I was, well, a baby. I know! You’re giving me that ‘I don’t believe you’ look right now. I know it’s hard to believe with all this perfection sitting right in front of you. I guess there had to be some sort of balance or something.”
Something tightens in Derek’s heart as he watches Stiles’s face light up as he talks about their dream cub. Stiles doesn’t sound disgusted or repulsed by the idea of giving birth to a cub. “You don’t seem to mind that you gave birth to a cub.”
“Huh? Why would I? I’m mated to a wolf.” Derek doesn’t know what to say. He really doesn’t so he continues to hear Stiles gush about their dream cub. “But really, Derek, our little wolfy cub was so ridiculously cute! Aww, and she or he also had your blue eyes! I also had really big jugs, well, dream girl me had big jugs. But I only think that’s because dream girl me was pregnant and during pregnancy, women’s breast tend to get bigger because all the milk their bodies are making. Actually, that must be why I had huge breast because if I was a girl, I totally picture myself with at least as a B cup. I don’t know why, I just do. Go figure. Oh well, at least dream girl me has more than enough milk to feed our cub because if our cub is anything like you, he or she is going to eat a lot!” All Stiles gets is a grunt from Derek. “Oh, come on. You eat a lot, Derek. You and the rest of your pack eat like crazy hungry monsters.”
“Our pack” Derek growls out and looks straight into his mate’s eyes. He leans forward and rubs his nose into delicate skin. “Our pack, Stiles.”
“Yes, yes, yes our pack. Speaking of pack, don’t wolves give birth in litters? How come dream girl me only had one? What’s up with that? Is it because I’m human? I mean, dream girl me was human?” Stiles watches Derek shrug his shoulders. “I feel jipped off here! It’s not like I want to give birth to like ten cubs or something but two or three would have been nice. Hey, don’t laugh at me, Derek! I’m serious. How come I only had one cub? I’m sure dream girl me was very fertile.” Stiles then pauses to look at Derek with a very accusing stare. “It must have been you.”
Derek can’t help but smile at Stiles and his odd but beautiful dream. The idea of filling up Stiles with his seed, with his child is such an advertising thought. And even though he can’t physically knock up Stiles, it doesn’t mean he can’t have fun trying. He knows Stiles won’t mind the effort. “Come here.”
“You know those two words and tone is what knocked dream girl me up in the first place.”
