Chapter Text
For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die
a time to kill, and a time to heal
a time to weep, and a time to laugh
a time to mourn, and a time to dance
Dance.
Dance is all that Minho has known since he can remember.
At the age of six he sees most of his family gathered in his living room around his grandma, he sees her smile and look up, tears coming down from her eyes- the whole room stops breathing for a second when her heart stops beating. Everyone is crying, so he thinks he must do it, too.
So he excuses hismelf to go to their backyard, though no one really notices him. There he kneels next to his cat, under their old lemon tree, and he tells God he will be good, he will make his bed every day and he will not complain about waking up early on Sundays; he doesn’t want to see his mom cry so he prays and he cries; time passes by and he feels the saltiness in his cheeks dried out, legs cramped from kneeling- when he swears he hears his grandma call out for him,
“Minho, dear, come show Mita what you learned in dance today!”
Minho stands up and his body straightens automatically. “First position!” he yells, trying to quiet down the crying coming from inside the house.
Minho grows up and stops making promises to God. He promises himself instead- he promises that he will find himself, and that he will try to love unconditionally.
-
“The only reason I’m staying in linear calculus this semester is because of this professor, does that make sense? Like I hate anything that reminds me of engineering,” dramatic gagging sounds entail every time Jisung says engineering , “but Dr. Weber is funny as fuck and I don’t think he even realizes that, plus he likes telling me about conspiracy theories because he says I’m the only student that doesn’t escape his office once he mentions them.”
Minho sighs a little absently, mind too full already for the third week of school. “Okay, now I kinda miss Dr. Weber’s classes. Maybe I should add other math classes just to take him again,” he tells Jisung and then he takes a big sip from his iced coffee. Booster Café is packed for a Wednesday afternoon… oh it’s $2 waffle Wednesday- right. Maybe coming here today wasn’t the best idea to get actual stuff done. Minho closes his laptop and resigns to the goal of achieving anything on the code he had been staring at for the last hour or so, going on his second cup of iced coffee of the day.
Jisung stares dumbfoundly, and to be fair, he is based, who takes math classes for fun? “What you just said is absolutely insane- you know my buddy Oliver is taking Dr. Weber’s intro to Abstract Maths class and his notes looked like alien language- it was scary.” He shivers at the memory.
“Maybe he actually teaches alien language because he has met aliens, and he just disguises the class as a hard math course to see who are the chosen ones ” Minho said airly and giggling, while quivering his fingers dramatically and widening his eyes as much as he can.
They both fall in laughs and a pleasant silence for a little, snacking on the what is left of the waffles Jisung had gotten for both of them, until two friendly and known figures enter to join them in the Café.
“See? I told you Minho would be here too- he doesn’t ever realize it, but Jisung convinces here to come here on Wednesdays because Minho is the only one who will share the ham and cheese waffles with him”, Jeongin says brightly to Chan, who seems a little concerned at the level of certainty that he said all that.
“Is that why this tasted a little funny?” Minho says, pretending that he doesn’t know Jisung always gets those waffles (if anyone asked him, he didn’t even like the idea of ham and cheese in a waffle, but that’s what everyone that likes them says.)
Chan clears his throat, “okay, anyways, I was looking for you, one, the resident director says you haven’t signed this year’s living contract- so you need to turn that in, and also, Teddy asked me to formally invite you to the after-dinner on Saturday, after the Freshman play’s last show.” Chan looks tired, Minho both pities and admires him so much- studying audio engineering while working on the audio, video and lightning (AVL) department sounds like a handful on itself- let alone to the other million little tasks he would put on himself by refusing to learn to say no .
“Why is the RD telling you about my business signing the school’s contract?” Minho is trying to be more dramatic than usual, trying to hide the fact that the document has been left untouched on his desk for the past two weeks, unread and unbothered.
“Also, getting an invitation from Teddy, the man himself? Does that mean I am part of AVL too?” he smirks and winks at Jeongin who was taking a seat in front of him with two drinks in his hands, placing a fruity smoothie in front of Chan, while sipping on a latte himself.
“Teddy just feels bad that all your friends go partying at the end of school events while you are rotting in computer code inside your apartment,” Jeoning shrugs and picks on the ham off of the little bits of waffle left on the plate Minho and Jisung were sharing moments ago.
“That’s not true, Teddy likes your company too!” Chan was trying to sound sincere, “it’s not like you haven’t helped us in the past with events or anything- eh, the RD just told me when I was turning in my own contract, that’s how I know, in case you were pressed about it. It’s not like they changed the contract too much anyways… you should sign it soon and turn it in, before more people hear from the RD that you are not signing shit.”
Jisung and Jeongin tense a little bit to Chan’s words. They know the changes in the contract are what are keeping Minho from turning it in, but taking too long to sign it could also raise flags of suspicion from the school, which Chan knew was the last thing Minho wanted.
Minho just suspires and starts packing his bag, suddenly the voices in the café are so much louder, his clothes feel too close on his body, his vision blurries for a second, “if you guys had all that you wanted, can we please go to, like, the library or something- I can’t focus with so much chatting around.”
-
Oh worship Jehovah in holy array: Tremble before him, all the earth
-
Growing up Christian wasn’t all that bad, at least it wasn’t for Minho (he thinks). His parents were very involved in Church, so he had spent weekends and school breaks helping whatever ministry his family was supporting at the moment. His mom was almost always involved with Sunday school, it was like she would switch classes to match Minho’s age, until he was a teenager.
Mrs Lee, all so patient and loving, always remembered by her students, too needed (in Minho’s opinion.) He grew up learning to not hoard his mom’s attention. Envy was despicable and punished, so as he matured, he learned to detach himself from his mom in Church; he shouldn’t be treasuring her all for himself. He wasn’t sure when that idea had formed in his brain, but he was sure those words were not his own.
Growing up Christian wasn’t all that bad, Minho learned to fake selflessness, to cover himself up and match whatever words his dad repeated to him. Lee Minho walked out of church after every Sunday service being a little more like the words his dad prayed, and a little less like Lee Minho.
Minho was truly Minho when he danced. He guessed that one thing that Church life had done right to him was the opportunity to be himself right under his parents’ sight without them quite catching it. Dance is worship, was told to him once too many times.
Was it blasphemus, then? Why was Minho dancing for himself? He hadn’t accumulated the attention of his mom all those years, he always obeyed his dad’s wishes and fitted in like the rest of the people at the pews- he allowed himself this, then. He would praise himself in dance.
-
Later that night, after getting the stupid code to do what it was supposed to do, Minho finally was opening the door to his room that he shared with Chan. He dropped his bag next to his desk, squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again wide, drowsy from all the mental work he had put into his classes and assignments that day, almost missing a step when his eyes fixated on the tan, legal size piece of paper sitting on his desk.
Principles to guide our community reads atop of the page, listing a series of behaviours and rules that Minho had repeated to himself so many times now- something about not bullying, something about not harrasing, something about helping each other out, you know, decent things. He knew them all except for the one, their newest addition, … Biblical marriage is between a man and a woman… romantic relationships should only be between a man and a woman… congruety between birth sex and gender identity…
Minho found it comedic that they added that the year after they had expelled students that were found in same-sex relationships or going through transition. None of them were Minho’s friends, but he has friends that could very well match those descriptions.
Jisung had cried his eyes out when he told him and Chan that he is bisexual, the night after the rumors of the expulsions had scattered out on campus. Minho knew what Chan was saying when he talked about his ex partner , in efforts to calm Jisung down. He guessed that there were many others like Jisung and Chan in these university’s buildings that he didn’t know, that were now scared to be themselves, like he has been scared all these years.
However, he was angrier than he was scared.
“Minho, we have to pick our battles, sometimes I’m just too tired- I’ll be out of here in a year anyway,” Chan had said as he signed a paper identical to the one Minho was staring at.
“So Christ-like of them,” Minho scoffed.
Chan sighed, “well, if anything, I’m the one putting my other cheek now, it will be on them how they treat me. You don’t have to fist fight the school for us.”
“It still makes me angry.”
“I know, me too.”
Minho swallowed really hard, like infinitely many other times growing up, picked up a pen and lied one more time as he signed agreeing to the words mocking him on the page in front of him. Printed on paper Minho reminded himself. His heart was with Jisung and with Chan and with all the other ones behind doors he doesn’t know of, not with the lies he was obligated to admit out loud. This is how Minho dances outside of studios and off-stages.
-
Feeling a little less defeated than before, Minho walks determined, signed paper in hand, towards the apartment in the front of his building. There he finds the door opened (of course), and several people sitting down in the living room, around a small coffee table. He was looking for his resident assistant, Brian, who was a theater major, and probably too loose morally to occupy the position of resident assistant (RE: finding alcohol in school grounds, and not telling on it “if you give me a shot, hehe”).
He could roughly recognize half of the people there- probably most of them are underclassmen; Brian is a Senior theater major, the kids are likely here getting hyped up for the freshman play. They are hitting the table imitating drum rolls, they all stop at the same time while making weird noises, while two of them point at each other trying to harmonize over the rest of the voices. Maybe it's some vocal warming exercise, eh.
Minho knocks on the door twice, and some of the voices die down, while others are still high on laughing and calling others out.
“Oh, Minho, what brings you to my humble abode?” Brian said after calming down from laughing again.
“Just wanted to file a complaint- there’s too much noise coming from this apartment,” he rolls his eyes in the most dramatic way. Brian sighs, then laughs and stands up, making his way to Minho who is still standing leaning on the doorframe in the apartment’s front entrance.
Some people had started whispering to each other, and Minho noticed one man in the back of the group- he had been staring at Minho since he knocked on the door, and he can’t tell if the guy is mad at him or what.
“You are going to scare the freshies, Minho, come on,” Brian’s voice whips Minho’s attention off of the group of people sitting on the floor, back to him.
“My bad,” cocky Minho was back on, “I just wanted to drop this here… can I trust you to give it to the RD?”
“Why don’t you give it to him yourself?” Brian took the contrack from Minho’s hands casually and inspected the signatures and dates written at the bottom.
“We are not on the best terms right now, per say,” Minho tried to sound cool and shrugged. He didn’t really want to talk to his RA about this any more.
“Okay, whatever you say sir,” Brian takes the paper and puts it in a folder that is sitting on his dining table, and notices Minho’s focus directed towards the people behind him, who are back to screaming and hitting the table. Except for the one guy staring him down, sure. “Ah, they are most of the actors for the play that is showing this weekend, and some sophomores and juniors that are helping out- are you planning to come see it?”
“I wasn’t sure about it, Chan and his crew are working lights and sound for it, so I might,” Minho was quick to say. “I’ll definitely come to the afterparty or whatever you guys do after these events, the things with AVL.”
“Aww, Minho joining for the after-dinner?” Brian leaned a little closer this time, whispering the rest of his words, “make sure to stick to late-after-dinner, we will make it extra fun for you all.”
Strange . “You just made that up on the spot, I can tell, but I won’t ask. I have a big project to turn on Friday, so if this after -afterparty involves ingesting substances that make me forget my week, I’ll hang around, I guess.”
Brian subtly turns around as if he is fixing something on his shirt, then Minho sees the man staring at him smirk very slightly, before continuing with the game and the people around him.
“Great to hear, Minho.” Brian presses a hand on his shoulder and winks to him, before basically closing the door on his face.
Minho tries not to think suspiciously about that last part of their conversation, and a little more about where he has seen the dude who had been staring the whole time. He has seen him somewhere he is sure.
He is kinda cute.
Minho shakes his head a little aggressively, and heads back to his apartment.
-
You, LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.
-
Minho wakes up Saturday morning, slowly, ungracefully and groggily. He knows it is past 6 am at least because after painfully peeling his eyes open, Chan is not there. His roommate’s ability to stay awake and work should be studied by professionals, for real. It might actually be past 9 am… There's a faint smell of coffee around the apartment, and Changbin (their other apartment-mate) usually wakes up at that time every day.
He finally turns around in his bed and unplugs his phone, it reads 10:15 am. There are a few messages from the Dance Ministry groupchat (they would meet today to just play around and dance a little in the practice room, but Minho had told them already he would skip today given the project he turned in late last night), a few notifications from his family’s groupchat, and finally his friends begging for coffee and snacks, as they were already stuck in the university’s theater, getting ready for the last and biggest of the play’s show.
It was crazy to Minho to see his friends basically organize and carry out whole events like this- it had given them the creative freedom to learn about the craft and about themselves. Something they had to thank Teddy for, he guessed. However, it also meant work days that were long and tiring- something else to thank Teddy for.
So, all lovingly and selflessly (RE: cursing under his breath), Minho gets up languidly and changes into suitable-to-go-outside sweatpants and tshirt, leaves his room to find an empty apartment, brushes his teeth, grabs his sling bag where he puts his phone, wallet and keys, and heads out to save Jisung’s live (RE: his text said “i will literally dye if i don’t have a lavender latte in my hand in the next hour or so, pls miiiinho.”)
-
Booster Café is kind of empty for a Saturday morning- to be fair the semester had started not too long ago, and people were still getting used to their schedules and classes. Maybe it was too early in the school year to see people already stress-working in the local café on a Saturday morning.
Minho stands in line as he reads the ridiculous list Jisung and Jeongin had sent him over text of all the things they wanted him to get for them, out from the corner of his eye he sees his slides, which he had regretted bringing instead of proper shoes because it was a little chilly outside. At least he had that silly hoodie of a bunny flipping off that was still in his car when he opened the door and realized it was colder than he had expected.
After repeating his monologue in his head including the hey, good morning, can I please get a… verbatim, he notices a second pair of slides, identical to his, enter his eyesight.
“I’m pretty sure that hoodie is against dress code.”
Minho held his breath for one second. Two. Three. He finally looked up as he moved one spot forward in the queue. His lines to order all mushed and disordered now- Chan wanted an ice americano and Jisung a mango smoothie?
The man that was staring at him was a little taller than Minho, but much broader on his shoulders, contrasting his small waist- which Minho only noticed because he had a hand resting on it. A hand that had long slim fingers. Uh. He looked at this slides-copycat’s face to basically drown in brown eyes, suddenly feeling like burning in chestnut and vanilla. Whatever that means. Smile so wide and pretty. Pretty.
“Good thing we are not on school grounds,” he said after shaking his head once and closing his eyes a little. He seemed familiar somehow.
“Do I know you from somewhere?” he finally said after getting his order together in his head again.
“I’m Kim Seungmin, Minho- we have people in common, you could say.”
Ah, the watcher at Brian’s apartment.
“We also went to the same high school, your mom is Ms. Lee, right? She taught my Sunday school classes a couple times, too.”
Oh?
Minho didn’t have an excuse for himself. He really did not know this Kim Seungmin. He didn’t remember much of his school or church peers- too busy undoing himself and all. The people he had befriended at university were the first ones to actually know Minho anyways, so he was certain when he said this Kim Seungmin didn’t know him either.
“I would say I remember you, but it is a bit too early in the day or too late in the week to lie. You were in Brian’s apartment when I went looking for him though, right? I definitely remember you from then.”
Seungmin giggled airily. Minho also remembered thinking he was cute then. He is cute now, too. Huh?
“Do you have a quota of lies per week that you have to meet before every Saturday or something? Have you been lying too much lately, Lee Minho?”
“Mind you, Kim Seungmin , I’m well under my quota this week, but I still decided to be honest instead.” It was his turn to order now. Suddenly it seemed like ther was absolutely no one in this damn café. How long had he been here anyway? “Hi, yeah, can I please have-”
“Oh, hey Kevin!,” Seungmin interrupted Minho.
“Morning, sunshine,” Kevin was now looking at Seungmin. “Are you here for-”
“The usual for the play, yes.”
“The usual for the play, okay,” they said at the same time.
“Also charge me whatever he gets,” Seungmin finished saying while pointing and winking at Minho. He then moved towards one of the tables of the cafe, close to a glass wall, looking outside as the sky started to give into early September showers.
Minho was left a little speechless, blinking rapidly. He shaked his head one more time and gave Kevin the stupidly long list Jisung had sent him over text- and when he tried to pay, Kevin just shrugged and said “you heard the pup, it’s on him.”
He walked cautiously towards the table where Seungmin was sitting, like a scaredy stray cat approaching a hand that offers a piece of ham and a scratch behind the ears.
“Thank you,” Minho said shyly as he took the seat in front of Seungmin, he guessed they would take a while with their orders since they were gathering drinks and snacks for a whole crew. “You didn’t have to do that, please let me pay you back.”
“Don’t even mention it, really,” Seungmin said, still looking out, not even acknowledging Minho when he sat in front of him.
“But Jisung ordered the craziest most expensive coffe-”
“Okay-” Seungmin interrupted him, Minho was a little annoyed at that now, despite getting free coffee and pastries in the process. “There is something you could do to pay me back, I guess.”
His gaze turned to Minho now, and he wished it hadn’t, crimson creeping up his cheeks and ears.
Seungmin smiled widely. Oh, cute, cute and pretty.
“Just stay in the after-party tonight after today’s show. It will be fun, I promise,” Seungmin finally said, while grinning.
Minho could feel his mouth drying, left open at the request. He blinks rapidly.
“Suuuunshiiineee, your orders are ready!” Kevin’s voice wakes Minho up from the drowsy state he was in.
“See you tonight, Lee Minho.” Seungmin got up and winked at Minho after taking his order and leaving Booster Café.
“See you tonight, Kim Seungmin.” Minho whispered to himself after shaking his head once again, and saw Seungmin driving by outside the building.
-
My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you--I whom you have delivered.
-
Minho was nervous.
He had gone to the school’s theater to deliver the food to his friends- he found Chan and Jisung fidgeting on consoles with too many goddamn buttons, and Jeongin eating just the M&M’s from a comically large trail-mix bag.
“ Fucking finally!” Jeongin sighed as he saw Minho enter the control booth at the back of the main hall of the theater.
“Mind your language at work, Innie,” Chan scolded Jeongin. Jeongin rolled his eyes and snatched the bags from Minho’s hands.
It seemed that the actors were also taking a break, Minho could see Brian standing in front of a spread of bodies sitting down on the floor tiredly, giving them a motivational speech before their last show, he guessed.
His eyes wander amongst the people, when he finally spots Seungmin. He is standing to the side of the stage, nursing on what it seems to be an iced coffee. He smiles a little absently.
“Okay Mr. Lee, you brought so many more scones than what I asked for. I’m not complaining,” Jisung said while pouting and twinking his eyes towards Minho, “but do I need to pay you back for any of the extras?”
“You don’t have to pay me back anything- he paid it all,” Minho said while staring at Seungmin.
“Oh?,” Chan seemed interested, “Seungminnie paid for our food?”
“You know Seungmin?” Minho turned slowly to face Chan.
“Hmm, yeah? You know Miss Pearl tries to introduce all Asian-looking students to each other,” everyone in the room rolled their eyes at the mention of the old lady that was the receptionist of the International Studies office. She was gentle and kind, but her efforts to introduce Latine students to Latine students and Asian students to Asian students only seemed a little suspicious. Mostly because sometimes she was wrong in assuming people’s ethnicities.
“Anyways, Minho, are you coming to watch the show tonight?” Jeongin asked.
“I kinda have to, I sort of promised him I’d be here,” Minho said, turning once again towards Seungmin, who was now chatting with another non-actor crew for the play.
He laughed and threw his head back, ruffled his hair as all his teeth were on display. Minho wanted to know what could be so funny to make him laugh like that. Maybe he wanted to know so he could make Seungmin laugh like that too. I want to come tonight because he asked me to, his mind accomplished to admit.
Minho stayed a little longer with the AVL crew, until he got a text from Felix, another member of the dance ministry.
hey minhoo:3 are you awake? >:) do you want to grab lunch with me and jinnie?
He announces to the three people (now fed and caffeinated) that he will leave to have lunch with friends from dance ministry, “text me if you need more food I guess, maybe I can manage to have another random person pay for it,” he had said before leaving the room. They all laughed, but Minho’s mind lingered and throbed thinking about his interaction with Seungmin.
-
Minho had managed to have a little party of four people accompany him to the play later that night. He went to have lunch with Felix and Hyunjin, who he knew from dance ministry; they ate in the university’s cafeteria, where they bumped into Changbin. The fourth person was Felix’s new roommate that Minho hadn’t met yet. “He is excited to meet you!” Felix had said after sending a text to his roommate. Minho’s face winced- it was a bit strange for this mysterious roommate of Felix to say that, but it was weirder that he hadn’t met him, it was a small school, kinda.
After lunch Minho decides to go back to his apartment, asks his friends at the theater if they need anything, and when they reply confirming they are okay for the afternoon (except for Jeongin complaining about Jisung finishing the M&Ms in the trail mix), he decides he deserves a nap this afternoon, as a little treat.
A nap means not thinking, not remembering, not repeating the same ten minutes shared with Seungmin at Booster over and over and over again. He closes his eyes and slumbers quite easily, maybe writing that damn code had taken a bigger toll on him that he thought.
Warmth. Closeness. Safety. There's a lingering smell of coffee and detergent.
There’s a weight in Minho’s stomach.
“Hey Lee Minho”, a voice says. His voice.
Minho smiles, the weight on his belly is gone.
He turns around trying to see the source of the voice. Trying to see Him.
Rough hands touch his waist softly. He blinks rapdibly and wide shoulders is all he sees.
“I think this goes against a piece of paper you signed a couple of nights ago.”
“Who gives a fuck about a piece of paper. I’ve got you written on my arm, I’ve got you written on my heart.”
Smiles and giggles, fingertips tracing faces, hiding nuances unspoken of.
-
Minho wakes up suddenly, sweating and panting. It’s dark outside his window so he guesses that it is past 6 pm. He rubs his eyes a little too hard, to the point that there’s a few stray tears falling down his cheeks. He feels like he could start crying for real any second now.
Minho is scared. What was his own mind scheming against him? Hadn’t he pushed all that to the furthest corner of his brain, somewhere he knew he wouldn’t find it? Was God plotting against him now?
The fuzziness in his thoughts is cleared when his phone lights up with texts from Felix asking him if he was close to arrive at the theater. Minho was about to be late to the play, and to his group of five people (eight if he counted the people behind the control booth). Nine , he supposes, counting Kim Seungmin.
Minho is scared and nervous, but nevertheless he changes into something a little more presentable (RE: a pair of black slacks and a sky-blue polo shirt, along with a black cardigan he thinks is Hyunjin’s), and runs out in direction to his university’s theater- barely prepared for what the night could bring.
-
There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all,who is over all and through all and in all.
-
Minho gets to the theater at 6:54 pm, hardly making it before the show starts. He walks by the booth before heading to his seat, just to wink hello to his friends, and wish them a good show. He then walks to the area where his friends are already sitting. Changbin then Hyunjin then Felix- no roommate yet. At least he wasn’t the last to show up. He sits down next to Felix a little slopplily, and his program falls to the floor.
Hyunjin looks at Minho, making a face between amusmente and confusion. “Is that my cardigan?” He chuckled and threw his head back a little. “I wondered where I had left it.”
“My bad, I just grabbed the first thing I saw- I was late, jeez, blame a man for taking a little nap.” Minho rolls his eyes dramatically, as he reaches down to pick up his program booklet.
He feels another hand brush against his, and a voice whispering against his ears sends goosebumps all along his spine.
“Hey, I think you dropped this.”
Minho stops breathing for a second, recognizing the voice he had been dreaming about before coming to the theater. He turns slowly, looking like a deer in the headlights, perplexed by the image of Seungmin in slacks similar to his, along with a long-sleeved shirt and a sweater vest, and glasses. Like this, it was like Minho could remember Seungmin from high school. Maybe he just really wanted to remember Seungmin now.
Seungmin was smiling as he returned Minho’s program, opting to let it fall on his lap, given his lack of response at all. His expression was confused for a second before he said assertively in a volume only Minho could hear, “this is not yours.”
Minho was confused again, but then he realized Seungmin was referring to the cardigan, as he pulled a little on his right sleeve.
“No, it’s not.”
“It’s Hyunjin’s.”
“It is Hyunjin’s.”
Both of them stared at each other almost expressionless, when MInho finally noticed that Seungmin had taken the seat next to him. “That seat is taken.”
“By me, yes.”
“Hey Seungmin!” Felix’s voice made Minho jerk his head back towards him. “Minho, this is my roommate, Seungmin. But, I think you guys have already met, right?”
“We have, yes,” Minho was surprised at Seungmin recognizing Hyunjin’s cardigan and also that he is Felix’s roommate he had been vaguely hearing so much about- but he was tired of letting Seungmin have the upper hand in all their interactions.
So, he just sat back in his seat and pretended he didn’t notice Seungmin trying to continue the conversation as Hyunjin introduced Seungmin to Changbin and the orchestra in the theater finally started to tune, announcing the start of the play.
The play goes mostly well, for Minho that is. He has no idea how the actual play goes since he is barely paying it any attention at all, too distracted with the sights of Seungmin from the corner of his eyes, small giggles at the things happening on stage- Minho can’t help to laugh along, even though he doesn’t know what he finds funny.
He feels dizzy but full- not quite understanding what is going on in his mind or why his body is reacting the way it is, sweating cold and reflexes responding quicker than usual, but somehow he survives the whole hour and a half of the play without doing something he regrets, he thinks.
After the show is over, the five of them decide that they will wait outside for the AVLers (Chan, Jisung and Jeongin) so that they finish wrapping up whatever people working AVL do, so that they can drive to Waffle House together.
Once outside Minho finally braves up to bring up the elephant in his mind, “how do you know Hyunjin, Seungmin?”
Seungmin perks up to the question, and his voice is nasal when he responds, “I’m minoring in literature, so we have taken several classes together. Last year we became pretty close pretty fast- he introduced me to Felix, actually. I don’t know if he likes the fact that I stole his roommate, but I’m thankful, Bokie is the nicest roomie ever.”
At this point Changbin, Hyunjin and Felix rounded up around Seungmin and Minho, trying to initiate conversation amongst the whole group, leaving Minho slightly disappointed. He was curious about the way Seungmin had phrased his answer, but decided to not give it too much thought, simply soaking in silent glee as both Hyunjin and Seungmin were pinching Felix’s cheeks and Changbin was trying to take a picture of them, but they wouldn’t stay still.
Minho was distractedly smiling when Felix approached him, talking to him so that the whole group would hear, “how did you meet Seungmin anyway- I was surprised to see you two actually had already met.” Felix was giggling, Seungmin was too.
“We went to high school together,” Seungmin said just as Minho was opening his mouth to answer.
“Yeah, but I had no idea, Kim Seungmin . In all honesty we met earlier today at Booster, when picking up drinks for the AVL crew.” Minho said after rolling his eyes at Seungmin, he was still stupidly giggling. “I should be equally surprised, it seemed like everyone I know knew Seungmin too.”
“Not me!,” Changbin added, happily. Minho glared at him, but patted his head.
“That’s true, Binnie, you didn’t.” Everyone was laughing now.
After the laughter had died a little, Seungmin was staring at Minho, a little like the other day at Brian’s apartment, it was making Minho nervous, and therefore losing the advantage (on what? Not sure, but Minho didn’t like being a loser).
“Why are you wearing Hyunjin’s cardigan?” Seungmin suddenly said, interrupting Felix telling some story about something that happened at some class of his. Or at the cafeteria? During chapel? Minho should start focusing on the rest of the conversations and not just on Seungmin’s every move.
Hyunjin laughed loudly, clapping, and even stomping on his spot- Minho knew his friend was giving an extra loud reaction on purpose. There was something in what Seungmin said that maybe annoyed or embarrassed Hyunjin, but it didn’t make sense to Minho why.
“Oh, Seungmin, babe, it is not for the same reason you would wear my clothes on any given Wednesday of freshman year.”
Changbin suddenly claps his hands and exclaims, “Jinnie! Is this the guy you used to tell me about? He does look like a hot nerd, you were right.” He winks at Seungmin, and Seungmin bows exagerately and mouths ‘thank you's' as he salutes in Princess of Genovia fashion.
Felix rolled his eyes at Hyunjin and Seungmin who were now screaming and poking at each other in banter. “Don’t even remind me of those dark times- being roommates with either of you means having to escape to Minho’s apartment at least once a week. I love you, but damn.”
Minho squints his eyes a little, and his mouth is open in a perfect circle, his mind is working a thousand miles per hour.
“Come on, I have not done that to you all school year, consider my reputation, please.” Seungmin says in pretended solemnity, overfixing his outfit and glasses.
“Lixie, you said you spent the nights at my apartment because Hyunjin was sleeping with someone.” Minho said, more for himself than for anything else. Though it did sound like a question.
The four men in front of Minho just stand there staring at each other and back at Minho, as if giving him more time to think about it would help him out.
Hyunjin reaches for Minho’s hands and rubs circles with his thumbs over them.
“Minho, darling, wonderful, lovely Minho, how do I say this,” he says while staring down at their hands.
“We used to fuck!” Seungmin jumps into Minho’s eyesight from the right side of Hyunjin and smiles widely. “Move, Jinnie, come on-'' Seungmin shoves Hyunjin’s hands off of Mimho’s, and mirrors what the had done grabbing Minho’s hands in his, “it was never more than that though, no worries,” he said as he winked at Minho.
“Hey guys! We are ready to go!” Chan’s voice makes everyone turn around in his direction, except for Seungmin, who is still holding one of Minho’s hands while scanning him up and down, as if he is measuring the level of damage the news had left on him.
Minho yanks his hand from Seungmin, a little too aware of the rapid palpitations of his heart upon the touch on his hands- annoyed of being affected by him like that. Seungmin’s grinning is just another painful reminder to Minho that he is still dominating the weird dance of forces between the two.
Chan speaks up again, “Min, are we taking your car and mine?”
“Sure,” Minho says without breaking eye contact with Seungmin.
“Can I ride with you?” Seungmin tells Minho while tilting his head a little- now he understands why Kevin called him a pup earlier.
“Let’s get going, then, house dog ,” he whispers into Seungmin’s ear, as a last effort to reclaim the upper hand, but Seungmin barking cutely back at Minho kicks him back to square one.
There’s no way to win against him.
-
The group joins a small crowd at their local Waffle House, where there’s a lot more of the play’s crew and other AVL members Minho didn’t expect to see tonight. The whole establishment is full of university students being loud and consuming too much sugar for 9 pm.
Minho sits down in a booth with Chan, Felix, and Seungmin who had not been talking too much at all since they left the theater. Across from them sit Hyunjin, Changbin, Jisung and Jeongin (who seemed so drained for the night, only sleepily drinking Jisung’s chocolate milk while resting his head on Jisung’s shoulder, Minho was too softened at their sight.)
The dinner part of the night goes without any more stress on Minho. About his friend’s confession to be fucking another dude is not as troubling as the broken notion that Minho had about Hyunjin- he thought Hyunjin was just another victim of purity culture, and that he was waiting to have sex until he had found a long-term partner or even get married.
The fact that he likes guys is not surprising, though, as he had seen Hyunjin’s lingering gazes on Jisung before. He decides to ask Hyunjin about it at some point soon, too many of his own masked and covered feelings resurfacing suddenly, he could blow up soon if he was to hold it all in himself. He wasn’t sixteen anymore. There was no need to hide his thoughts or feelings anymore.
Brian comes up to their table and holds Seungmin’s shoulder a little too excitedly. He smiles at the whole table before reminding them that they are all invited to join them back at the theater’s stage after 10:45 pm, which is when the last round of security on campus is over.
So Minho just sits back, shares his hashbrowns with Seungmin, who offered him half of his biscuits with gravy, and enjoys the sight of his friends’ laughs and unhinged conversations. He was still hyper aware of Seungmin’s actions, but it seemed that he was in a much more thoughtful state for the night, giving Minho a false sense of safety. He lets their knuckles brush under the table, and he sighs and looks at Seungmin fondly, pretending he knows what these feelings bubbling inside of him are.
-
They drive back to campus and go to Chan, Changbin and Minho’s apartment, given that they had to drop their cars. They had about 15 more minutes until they were clear to reenter the theater, and since it would take them about 5 minutes to get there, they decided to take some shots there first.
The eldest brings a bottle of cheap vodka out of their freezer, as he urges the group of men in his living room to keep it quiet- it is Saturday night and it is a Christian University’s campus, people were asleep (as they should’ve been.)
Jeongin had regained energy suddenly and was dancing with Hyunjin even though there was no music playing, Jisung was loudly telling a story to Felix and Changbin who were laughing at him like whatever he was saying was the funniest shit they have heard in their lives, and Chan was serving everyone around trying to shush them in between giggles himself- one shot of alcohol was enough for all these guarded ex-Bible-summer-campers to go frenzy.
There was so much noise everywhere around and the alcohol in Minho’s body was already loosening him, when he felt a tug on his- Hyunjin’s cardigan. He was not surprised to see it had been Seungmin, it was like he had guessed that his attention was going to be directed to Minho again, but not necessarily like this.
“Take this off.”
“Why?”
“It's not yours.”
“Last time it checked, it also wasn’t yours.”
Seungmin just scoffed. Minho grinned, smelling like victory.
“Do you not like it when other people use Hyunjinnie’s clothes? I think this fits me pretty well.” Minho spinned on his spot slowly and put his index finger on his cheek, exaggerating a cute pose.
Seungmin smiles at Minho, and announces to the group that he needs to go to his dorm to get something before going back to the theater. The sudden absence of attention makes Minho sulk for a second, until Felix gives him another drink (apparently they had moved on from the straight vodka, to making diffferent drinks.)
A few minutes later, the seven of them start their walk to the theater, with Chan scolding them every two seconds to be quiet and ‘not sound fucking drunk,’ which Minho doesn’t understand, since they are pretty fucking drunk.
The flock of almost-to-drunk students stare quietly at them as the theater doors open, probably scared at the sudden sound. Cheers from Minho and his friends are reciprocated from the people in the room.
There is party music on the main stage, party lights shimmering around, and the same crowd Minho had seen at Waffle House engaging in different party activities: spin the bottle, beer pong, dancing- making out?, good for whoever that is.
Minho absently goes and serves himself another drink as his friends join the party, Changbin and Chan at the beer pong, Jeongin taking pictures of Hyunjin and Jisung slowdancing to a electro-house song, and Felix with the group of people playing spin the bottle.
A familiar voice calls for him once again.
“Take it off.” Minho could swear Seungmin’s voice broke for a millisecond when he said that. He took it as a sign to continue to be a little shit.
“But it's cold.” Minho pouted.
“Use this instead.” Seungmin handed Minho a similar cardigan to the one he was wearing right now, just a little longer and bigger, to compensate for Seungmin wide as fuck shoulders . I’m sorry, what was that?
As if possessed by something, Minho takes Hyunjin’s cardigan off and drops it on a seat near him, and puts on the one handed by Seungmin.
“This is yours.”
“It is.”
“I will keep it.”
“If you want to.”
“I will keep it.”
Seungmin smirked and closed his eyes for a couple of seconds, “you will keep it.”
Felix’s voice calling Seungmin and Minho over interrupted them. Minho downed the drink in his hand and grabs another one before walking over to the group of people sitting down in a circle.
“We were about to start a few rounds of truth or dare, wanna join?”
Seungmin looks at Minho, and smiles smugly. “Should we?”
Minho copies Seungmin’s lost puppy stance from earlier that night, tilting his head a little.
Seungmin rolls his eyes but giggles, he sits down next to Felix and yanks Minho’s arm so that he sits next to him.
There’s a tall bearded man sitting on the other side of Felix, he is whispering something to his ear, which makes Felix let out an airy laugh before he speaks up.
“Okaaay, Benji,” he says pointing at the man who had made him laugh, “truth or dare?”
Benji thnks about it for a second before saying “dare,” as he crosses his arms in front of his chest.
“Kiss the man you’ve been calling cute for weeks, you fucking coward!”
The circle erupts in giggles and ‘ooh!’s awaiting for what Benji will do next- he lets his arms fall to his lap and says “fuck it” as he grabs Felix by the nape of his neck and kisses him right there and then- by the sounds of it, more teeth than anything else. Minho can’t think it is a pleasant situation, but Felix deepens the kiss for too damn long before separating himself from Benji, gasping for air.
He wipes Benji’s lower lip and smiles, still panting. “That was long overdue, anyways, someone else can go,” Felix says without breaking eye contact with Benji, who is also panting and clearly flustered.
Other people that Minho only vaguely recognize from non-major classes, the halls or even church, who knows, went around challenging each other on stupid dares or asking questions that demanded too much information from their counterparts. It finally got to the point where it was the girl next to Minho’s turn to ask him.
“Minho… right? Okay, Minho. Truth or dare.”
Minho felt light, a little too light- much more alcohol in his sytem than usual. “Truth.”
A little ovation of ‘ooh’s from around the circle. Minho catches Seungmin grinning from the corner of his eyes.
The girl, Elizabeth, if Minho remembers correctly from a calculus class of his, is taking a sip of her solo cup, and stares down at her crossed legs before speaking up.
“Are you physically attracted to someone seated in this circle?”
Minho looks up around the circle and thinks, really thinks about it. Suddenly it seemed like everything was too loud, too stuffy.
He looks to his right and finds Seungmin looking at his drink, a slight smile on his face. Cute, oh so cute. He then looks up, and locks eyes with him. Very differently than before, at Brian’s apartment, differently than all the times that he looked at him when they met at Booster , differenlty than when they were holding hands outside the theater or at dinner.
Seungmin’s eyes reminded him of ocean depth and space vastness. It was so inviting .
Minho looks back at the center of the circle and simply says “yes, I am.”
The circle of people erupts in giggles and cheers- Elizabeth speaks up again, “okay, damn,” she is smiling wide, “who is it?”
“You asked if I am attracted to anyone here, which I am. You guys don’t know how to play this game.” He rolls his eyes and chugs on his drink.
“You are so full of shit.” Seungmin whispered while leaning a little on his side.
“Okay, you, Seungmin,” Minho started, “truth or dare?”
Seungmin turned slightly to face Felix who was giggling, “dare me, Minho.”
‘Oooh’s and ‘ah’s along the circle, per usual.
Minho feels light again.
“I dare you to confess, honestly , to someone you like. Call them if you need to.”
Minho crosses his arms and feels so smug. He is so sure he is winning. Winning what? It didn’t matter.
Seungmin sighed and smiled, he turned to look at Minho, inviting eyes again. He turned completely so that his crossed legs were touching Minho’s. He lifts Minho’s arms, uncrossing them, and grabs his hands so that each of his holds one of Minho’s.
Minho was barely breathing. In fact he could not hear anything or anyone- maybe he could feel the ventilation hum in the background. It wasn’t cold or warm, though his hands were on fire.
“Would you believe me if I said I see you Minho Lee ,”
Minho liked the way Seungmin said his name.
“I see you, and I like you. It’s ridiculous.”
Minho’s eyes and throat were dry. He forced his mouth to close and he tried to gulp. He is dizzy, he is here and there, he is everywhere, what just happened?
Minho blinked, once, twice, thrice. If anyone is laughing or cheering or making a single fucking sound, Minho can’t hear it, he hears Seungmin giggle, though.
I don’t know you, but I could like you too.
“Okay, Minnie, you go again- we finished the circle with you, it should bounce back.” Felix said. Or did he?
Seungmin had dropped Minho’s hands, but his touches lingered. I’m here and I see you, Minho Lee. Maybe Minho wanted to be seen- he was so light, and he wanted to be seen by Seungmin.
“You little shit, you are just doing this so you get skipped, again . Whatever. Minho, truth or dare?”
Inviting.
“Dare.”
Approaching.
“I dare you to kiss the person you are attracted to from this circle.”
“Well, I’m going to need you to move so I get to Felix.” Seungmin laughed. Head thrown back, teeth in display, laughed.
Minho grabbed Seungmin’s arm and pulled him closer, then placed his hand on the nape of his neck, which seemed to have caught Seungmin off-guard. His eyes were blown open, a deer in the headlights.
Minho doesn’t really feel the kiss. He damned himself for closing his eyes, but then he caught Seungmin pulling away from him, eyes starting to open up, cheeks all rosy and glowy and so incredibly cute .
“Just a peck? What a tease! Adorable though.” Minho could swear Elizabeth spoke up. Yep. All these people had just stared as he kissed another man. A boy. Seungmin .
Too aware now, Minho gets up, trips, tries to run. Music is too loud, there’s too many people around. He runs into someone.
“Minho? Are you okay?” Chan looks worried. He must not look good.
An arm stabilizes him. “I’ll just take him home, Chan. He’s fine.”
“I’m fine.” Minho repeats what he heard Seungmin say.
He doesn’t really recall walking back to the apartment. He knew he got there though, he was struggling to open his front door. Seungmin helped. Seungmin took his hand and pushed the key in the doorknob. Seungmin is here. Seungmin sees him.
He remembers awkwardly trying to take his shoes off while sitting on his couch. Seungmin helped.
He feels bubbly and nervous and so happy. Once Seungmin stands up from taking Minho’s and his own shoes off, He stands too.
Minho takes Seungmin’s hands in his and places them on his chest. Everything vibrates inside of him.
“You know what is this?”
“Your heart.”
“Could be yours.”
“Could be.”
“Will you try to make it yours?”
“I don’t feel worthy.”
“It’s okay, you’ve taken your shoes off.”
Seungmin breaths and laughs.
“This is no holy place, anyways- it wouldn’t matter, Seungmin.”
“It is holy, to me.”
They both leaned in. Minho does feel it this time, because Minho is truly Minho when he dances. All of him is urged to dance when he sees Seungmin.
Seungmin’s hands are now caressing his face, holding his waist. Minho’s hands are a little more jittery, they want to touch so much.
Their mouths move heatdely, breathlessly, hungrily. Sounds Minho thought he would never hear in his own flesh are pouring into his room. How did they get here from the living room?
Seungmin grabs Minho’s shoulders to separate their mouths. He is panting- no, they are both panting. “I see you, Minho,” He kisses Minho’s cheeks softly. “And I like you, isn’t that ridiculous?” He kisses Minho’s forehead.
-
Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
-
SHOOOSH, WHIIIIIR. Minho opens his eyes. Very slowly. It takes him a while to recognize his surroundings. There goes Chan’s damn blender again, he is probably making a breakfast smoothie . His head felt like it had been crashed into a wall before falling asleep last night- for all that Minho remembers, it could’ve been.
He got up with the determination of getting the tallest, coldest cup of water, and maybe an aspirin.
SHOOOSH. “Oh, hey there, sunshine. Sorry for waking you up, I would say I didn’t mean to, but that would be half a lie,” Chan smiled at Minho, looking fresh as ever- he had that crazy ability to never look hungover. Minho thought it was an inherently necessary ability to all missionary kids, Chan didn’t like that thought.
“What is the lie, the ‘sorry’ or the ‘didn’t mean to’?” They both giggled a little.
“Why are you awake anyways?”
“It’s Sunday, Min.”
“Damn, it’s Sunday, Chan.”
“Are you coming to Church with me?”
“I suppose so, I’m awake now.”
“Will you manage to look semi-presentable in the next 20 minutes, then? I’ll make you coffee and give you half of my bagel.”
“God bless you, my brother. See you in 17 minutes.”
-
Minho did manage to look presentable for church, but he still felt like shit. He doesn’t remember the last time he had drinked that much, probably because he had never drinked that much ever. Period.
“It looks like you are going to collapse at any second.” Chan laughed as he sat next to Minho, handing him his second coffee of the morning.
“Thanks. I might as well.” He sipped from his coffee. He was a little too ansty about last night. How much had Chan seen or heard?
“Did you see Seungmin leave last night?”
“Yeah. I guess you fell asleep then and there, huh. It was a funny sight, not gonna lie.”
Chan laughed again, but Minho was a little confused. So, he continued.
“You and Seungmin left the party last night, and even though Seungmin said that he got it, and you said you were fine, I was worried.”
Minho rolled his eyes. Of course.
“So I followed you.”
“Uh-”
“I entered the apartment as Seungmin was helping you take your shoes off. He helped me put you in bed, I don’t know when your eyes closed, but they were already closed when we left you there. Seungmin tucked you in and all-”
“What?”
Chan laughed a third time. Minho didn’t find it amusing.
A few pews over, Seungmin sat down with Felix. Had Seungmin always attended this church, too?
The chatting voices in the nave started to die down as the members of the band were taking their spots on stage. Seungmin put down a water bottle next to his feet, and he looked back as he sat up, locking eyes with Minho for a brief moment. He smiled, Minho smiled back- pulled by inertia alone. There was no way he wanted to actually smile at Seungmin.
Minho shook his head and looked away.
A woman walked to the center of the stage and encouraged everyone to stand up and sing along.
The first song was too energetic for Minho’s current state- it had Chan clapping his hands and all.
The second song is way slower, one that Minho actually enjoys.
Grander earth has quaked before
Moved by the sound of His voice
And seas that are shaken and stirred
Can be calmed and broken for my regard
Minho naturally swaved to it’s rhythm. Closing his eyes to sooth his body, pretending he had found a connection he had long ago stopped looking for.
And through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
And through it all, through it all
It is well
And through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
And it is well, with me
He opened his eyes again, catching Seungmin staring at him. Seungmin waved at him, mouthing a silly “hi”. Minho frowned and shook his head, pointed with his eyes to the band- in the middle of worship? Good God. Seungmin smirked and looked back at the stage.
And it is well
With my soul
It is well
With my soul
It is well
With my soul
It is well, it is well with my soul
Minho felt light again. Drowsy, but light.
And through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
And it is well with me
Minho didn’t feel like it was well with him, though.
Had that been just in his head? Had it been just a dream? Minho now fealt heavy and he didn’t feel like dancing.
They sing another song and after some weekly announcements, the pastor takes the podium and starts the sermon.
Minho noticed Chan was actually paying attention, he would nod synchronously with other people in his eyesight, and he would laugh alongside the jokes- Minho was always at least one second later, mind half asleep half fucked up from last night.
He kind of follows the main idea of the message, though. Something about standing united as the body of Christ, through our shared faith, despite our differences (lovely message for the South of the United States of America, thanks Pastor Ted.)
At some point they were projecting Ephesians chapter 4 on the screens, and something caught Minho’s sight.
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism;
They use the last part a lot at his university, claiming that the student body’s community is probably their biggest asset. Minho tried not to, but he rolled his eyes while thinking to himself. In some ways, Christian universities seemed to him anything but communion. Clear separation between groups everywhere, clubs, dorms, the fucking cafeteria (it went unsaid but it was your race what determined where you sat to eat), it seemed useless to Minho to say things like that to these people, because they wouldn’t listen. It was the same in his church back home, it was the same in his classes, it was the same at the pews he was sitting at.
It was already this bad- imagine if these people knew Minho’s thoughts? Or about Jisung? Or Hyunjin? Or Chan? Or Seungmin? He suspects a lot more of his friends are in the same situation as him.
Then, something that Pastor Ted says catches his attention. He didn’t hear the context of it but he didn’t care. If anything, he would take this with him.
“If your salvation is based on you, then you’ve got nothing to lose.”
Minho notices Seungmin soothing his arms and shoulders, as he was sore from overworking himself.
Maybe you’ve been carrying the weight of the world there, huh? His mind was playing him tricks again.
As if calling him through his thoughts, Seungmin turned around and smiled at Minho, who was probably making faces from the mix of judgamental thoughts out of context and the party still settling in his stomach. He decides Seungmin deserves a smile, though, so he nods and smiles back.
Then Seungmin motions at his jacket and then points at him. Minho arched one of his eyebrows. He looked down to his own sweater.
Oh.
It was Seungmin’s cardigan- or was it Minho’s now? The weight and meaning of words from last night were still a little confusing in Minho’s mind.
Seungmin returns his attention to the man at the podium, and so does Minho.
“Think of what you do as redemptive work. You don’t breathe for yourself alone. Let even your breathing and your blinking and your falling asleep and waking up be redemptive. Redemptive in your relationship with God, redemptive in your relationship with your siblings in Christ.
“All your siblings in Christ”
Maybe Minho had misjudeged Pastor Ted’s words. Maybe what he was saying was worth listening to.
-
Later, when the service was done and friends were finding each other to make plans for lunch and other things (oh to be a church full of university students on a Sunday morning), Seungmin and Felix found their way to Chan and Minho, of course.
“Can we ride back with you?” Felix asked them. “We came in the van that they usually send to the school, but I think they all are having lunch somewhere off-campus.”
“Sure, Lix. Are you eating at the caf? You could join us and the rest of the guys there too- Jisung texted me saying he and Jeongin and Hyunjin are beginning to recover from last night.” Chan said smiling.
“Oh, so that’s where Hyunjin went. Interesting .”
Minho didn’t know what that was about, and wasn’t sure if he wanted to know. He was a little too awestruck at Seungmin’s smile and eyes.
“You are wearing it again today, Minho.” Seungmin said as he brushed off something from Minho’s arm.
“Well, I think it's mine now- right?”
“It is.” Somehow his smile was wider now.
“I think it fits me very well.”
“It does.”
“Oh, so you noticed.” Minho grinned and squinted his eyes a little, trying to foresee Seungmin’s response to his comment.
Minho was never going to win against Seungmin, he realized.
“I see you, Minho Lee .”
And I like you, isn’t that ridiculous?
Minho thinks he is screwed. Years of concealment, prayer, denial, and tears- for what?
Minho might have a crush on a boy. He thinks he likes Seungmin, too.