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Ah, sweet young love.
It all started after Boys' Planet had finally ended.
Ricky and Gyuvin had fallen for each other.
Of course the found attraction even before that.
But their feelings were never really shared until recently.
On the day of their debut while the others were celebrating in the dorm livingroom, Gyuvin had confessed to Ricky somewhere else within the house and they became boyfriends.
Everything was great.
Uuuuntil it wasn't.
See, Ricky is autistic.
He doesn't like eye contact for too long and isn't fond of physical affection.
And with Gyuvin, he thrives off of both of those.
So despite everything else they love about each other, these were just things they couldn't always get passed.
When they shared their first kiss Ricky was disgusted.
And not because it was Gyuvin, he just really didn't like how it felt.
But even after that, they's still do it.
Even if Ricky says no, they do it anyway cause Gyuvin gets upset and Ricky just wants him to be happy.
And the same goes with back hugs, front hugs, side hugs, carrying, cuddling, etc.
Though hand holding is okay.
For a certain amount of time.
He was never comfortable but he did it anyway.
It was all for him.
And despite everything they still got along great so neither of them saw a crack big enough to break them apart and possibly ruin their group dynamic.
Except Gyuvin's been acting different lately.
He's alot more touchy, has been watching more heated movies, and Ricky thinks he's heard him moaning in the bathroom a few times.
Gyuvin is Ricky's first partner, but Ricky certainly isn't Gyuvin's.
He's had two girlfriends before and one other boyfriend.
There's no way Gyuvin's a virgin.
Ricky's contemplated so he goes to his only leader Hanbin.
He explains everything that's been happening and Hanbin listens intently.
"Hmm. Yeah it seems to me he wants a bit more from your relationship. You guys should talk about it. But Ricky, you know if you're not comfortable with stuff like that then you can refuse. It's never okay to do something someone doesn't like on purpose."
Ricky doesn't really go to his hyungs for advice, thinking he can handle things on his own.
But hearing Hanbin say that made him feel a bit weird towards Gyuvin.
He always felt that he should try to be more normal and just suck it up so his boyfriend can be happy.
But it never felt right.
He just never gave himself time to think about all this.
"Hyung.. does this mean when i refused a kiss or a hug or something and he does it anyway... He's in the wrong? Not me?"
Hanbin looks at Ricky with an concerned and worried expression.
"Are you saying he actually does that to you?"
Ricky really can't get himself to look Hanbin in the eyes.
"Hey. You need to tell him that's not okay. You guys really need to talk. About everything. Alright? Please tell me you will."
Ricky was silent for a bit before letting out a sigh.
He nods and leaves the older's room.
He heads over to him and Gyuvin's shared room and sees his lover just laying on the bed watching something.
They made eye contact for a second.
Gyuvin turns off the tv and heads over to Ricky.
He closes the door behind them and holds him by the shoulders, leading him to the bed.
They sit down next to each other and Gyuvin's the first to speak.
"Hey. There's something i've been meaning to talk to you about."
Ricky looks at him, a bit surprised.
"Really? I came here to talk as well."
They both smiled and Ricky looks down at his hands.
"Great! Now i'm not sure if we're on the same page here but i was thinking.."
A pause of anticipation.
"We should have sex."
Ricky stopped breathing.
He stares off into obliving wondering if he actually heard correctly.
"It can be now, it can be later, another day, but for sure soon. I just love you so much and i want to show it in other ways."
This really isn't how he thought this conversation would go.
His hands are now fidgeting and he glances at Gyuvin with an unreadable expression.
Now he's practiced faces in the mirror before but now's not exactly the time to know if he's doing right.
But Gyuvin really can't tell what he's thinking.
"Gyuvin-ah... This is kind of what i came here to talk about. But this isn't what i thought was going to happen. I'm not comfortable with stuff like this. All the kisses and hugs. I've told you before and you ignore it. I really do love you Gyuvin but i don't want sex."
Ricky's eyes were paying attention to the floor.
There was just silence from his boyfriend and he didn't know what to think.
Did he finally get it in his head?
Does everything make sense now?
It's too quiet it almost makes him scared.
"Are you kidding me?"
He finally heard from the other.
It was a soft yet clearly pissed off voice.
He fucked up.
"Ricky. Are you being serious right now?? Who am i kidding, you're always serious. There's never any fun with you. And you can't even look at me to have a conversation! Even at a time like this!"
Gyuvin was raising his voice a bit and Ricky couldn't help but flinch at the sudden loudness.
And at that his not so nice at the moment boyfriend scoffs.
"You know, you're too much sometimes. I'm always trying to do my best for you and you don't seem to appreciate it. I love you Ricky. But think it's time we do something for me for once."
Ricky was so confused.
There's no way Gyuvin actually said that.
Was he actually being serious?
He wanted to protest so bad.
But he couldn't say anything due to Gyuvin pushing him down on the bed catching him by surprise.
He feels his pants being ruggedly tugged down.
No way.
"G-Gyuvin-"
"I thought you loved me, Quanrui."
"I do!"
"Then let me do this."
The pants were thrown to the floor.
Gyuvin's hands slipped under Ricky's shirt and explored all over his body.
The blonde squirmed and whined.
That's when his wrists were suddenly pinned above his head.
"Can't you stop? For one second, Ricky, stay still!"
The both of their clothes were soon removed.
Gyuvin gets lube from his bedside table drawer.
Ricky hadn't stopped squirming however.
He was protesting the whole way and Gyuvin got tired quick.
"You know what? You get no prep time. You're most likely a virgin too. This is gonna hurt alot. But you were asking for it."
So he lathers the gel-ish liquid on himself and wipes his hand on the bed sheet.
He uses his hand to cover Ricky's mouth and the other to keep his wrists in place.
So he starts pushing in and there's more reaction than before.
Ricky shuts his eyes tight as tears of pain start falling.
He can only whimper quietly due to the hand over his mouth but his squirming stopped.
Instead he's too stunned to move.
Gyuvin looks down at the sight after completely settling inside.
Ricky's bleeding onto the blanket.
He needed to the laundry any way so he's not too worried about this.
"Sorry about the tearing, baby, but you'd left me with no choice."
Ricky just silently sobs as he's being rocked back and forth now.
He can't feek anything but pain and betrayal.
He loved and trusted this man so much.
Now it's all just gone.
Can't even stop him anymore cause what's done is done.
He's already actively raping him and you can't take that back.
But Gyuvin's clearly enjoying this.
He's letting out shaky breaths and soft groans as he fucks into his possible ex now.
Despite all this, the pain is slowly fading away.
It's turning into something Ricky had never felt before.
He doesn't want it in this way of course but his vocal chords really think he should express himself.
So he does.
His pained cries turn more into pleasure cries.
Since he's not that loud Gyuvin actually uncovers his mouth.
Ricky can't help but let out breathy moans.
Though the uncomfort and refusal still exists.
He just doesn't know how to stop this.
He has no time to be thinking about anything else other than the sensations down.
Gyuvin's going so fast the bed might actually break.
Ricky gets louder as more tears stain the bed.
But suddenly there was a stop.
Both are panting, throats hella dry.
Ricky could feel warmth in him that wasn't there before.
It seems Gyuvin had came.
He's just lucky he can't get pregnant cause even if they'd make cute babies he's hate to have his of all people.
It's safe to say they're over and Ricky hates him now.
Sudden emptieness and him being the only one on the bed now makes him shiver once in slight coldness.
Gyuvin left to shower.
It's crazy how much he said he loved him and just leaves him here without any further care.
But alas Ricky does his best to get up and clean a bit.
He puts on some pants, grabs some clean clothes, and limps out of the room, heading to the other bathroom and showers there.
He goes to someone else's room, obviously not wanting to see that man again.
Turns out it was Hanbin's coincidentally.
Ricky's in his leader's bed staring at the celing when said man and hyung Hao enters the room laughing at someone that must've been said before coming in.
But smiles drop when they see the worn out boy.
They rush over to him and ask him what's wrong but what was said next was nothing like what they could've been prepared for...
.
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BREAKING: ZeroBaseOne member Kim Gyuvin sent to jail just a few months after debut! Group takes 2 week break! Ricky on indefinite hiatus!