Chapter Text
To Pete,
You are invited to my 7th birthday party on Tuesday the 27th of April in my house. We are having a magician and you can come to my house at 2 o’clock. It is over at 5 o’clock. I hope you will come,
- From your best friend Patrick
To Trick,
Yes I will come to your brithday party on Wensday.
- Form Pete
To Pete,
My birthday party is on Tuesday not Wednesday. You can’t bring hemmy to the party because mum says so. He is a smelly dog. - From Patrick
To Trick,
do not care wot your stupid mum says hemmy wants to come.
- Form Pete
To Pete,
My mum is not stupid you are. You are not aloud to bring the dog. He will brust the baloons.
- From Patrick
To Trick,
Then I am not going.
- Form Pete
To Pete,
Fine.
- From Patrick
Dear Ms. Wentz,
I just called by to have a word with you about my son Patrick’s birthday on the 27th of April. Sorry you weren’t in when I called, I’ll call around again later this afternoon and hopefully we can talk then. I think there seems to be some sort of little problem with Pete and Patrick lately, I don’t quite think they’re on talking terms. Hopefully you can fill me in on the situation when we meet. Patrick would really love if he came to his birthday party. I’m looking forward to meeting the mother of this charming young man!
See you then,
-Patricia Stump
To Trick,
I would be happy to go to your brithday party next week. Thank you fro inviting me and hemmy.
- Form Pete your frend
To Trick,
Thanks for the great day at the party. I am sorry hemmy brust the baloons and ate your cake. He was hungry because mum says dad eats all our leftovers. See you at skool tomorrow.
- Pete
To Pete,
Thanks for the present. Its OK about what hemmy did. Mum says she needed a new carpet anyway. Dad is a bit mad though. He said the old one was fine but mum thinks the house smells of poo now. Look at Ms. Casey’s nose. It is the biggest nose I have ever seen.
- Patrick
To Trick,
I no and she has a big snot hanging down too. She is the ugliest alien I have ever seen. I think we should tell the police we have an alien as a teacher who has a really smelly breath and—
Dear Mr. and Ms. Wentz,
I would like to arrange a meeting with you to discuss how Pete is progressing at school. I would like to talk about the recent change in his behavior along with the problem of his note-writing during class. I would appreciate it if you called the school to arrange a suitable time to meet.
- Yours sincerely, Ms. Casey
To Pete,
I hate that we dont sit together anymore in class. I’m stuck beside stinky Jack who picks his nose and eats it. It is gross. What did your mum and dad say about Ms. Big nose alien?
- From Patrick
To Trick,
Mum did not say much because she kept laffing. I dont no why. I no it is reall boring up the front of the class. Smelly breath Ms. Casey keeps on lucking at me. Have to go.
- Pete
To Pete,
You always spell know wrong. It is KNOW not NO.
From Patrick
To Trick,
Sorry misster prefect. I no how to spell it.
- Pete
Hello form Spain! The weather is really nice. It is hot and sunny. There is a swimming pool with a big slide. It is cool. Met a freind called Gabe. He is cool. See you in 2 weeks. Oh I broke my arm coming down the slide. I went to the hopsital. My freind Gabe signed my cast. You can too when I get home if you like.
- Pete
To Pete,
Hello from Lundin. My hotel is the one in the picture on thefront. My room is the one that is 7 up from the ground but you cantseeme in the postcard. The buses are all red like your toys yougot lastChristmas. Everyone talks with that funny voice but are nice. Have met a frend called Gerard. We go swimming together. Bye.
- Love from Patrick
To Pete,
Why amnt I invited to your birthday party this year? I know most of the boys from the class are going. Are you mad at me?
- Patrick
Dear Patricia,
I’m sorry about Pete’s behavior this week. I know that Patrick is upset about not going to the party and he doesn’t understand why he hasn’t been invited. To be honest I can’t quite understand it myself; I have tried to talk to Pete but I’m afraid I can’t get inside the mind of a 10-year-old boy! I think it’s just a case of his not being able to invite him because he wants to be with the 'big boys'. Unfortunately he seems to be at that age... Please give my love to Patrick, it seems so unfair to the sweet boy and when I spoke to him last week, I could see how hurt he was. Perhaps myself and Peter can take the two of them out some other evening during the week.
Best wishes!
- Dale Wentz
To Trick,
The party was not very good. You did not miss anything. The boys are stupid. Phil threw his pizza in Jameses sleeping bag and when James woke up he had tomato and cheese stuck in his hair and everything and my mum tried to wash it and it would not go away and then Jameses mum gave out to Phils mum and my mum went real red and my dad said something I didn’t here and Jameses mum started to cry and then everyone went home. Do you want to go to the cimena on Friday and go to McDonald’s after? My mum and dad will bring us.
- Pete
To Pete,
Sorry about your party. Phil is a weirdo anyway. I dont like him. Philly the Willy is his name. I will ask my mum and dad about the cinema. Look at Ms. Casey’s skirt it looks like my grannys. Or it looks like hemmy puked up all over it and then did a poo and the—
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Stump,
I was hoping to arrange a meeting with you to discuss Patrick’s recent behavior in school and his note-writing during class. How does Thursday at 3 p.m. sound?
- Ms. Casey
Pete,
I don’t think my mum and dad will let me go to the cinema tonight. I hate not sitting beside you. It’s so boring. Frizzy lizzys hair is blocking my view of the blackboard. Why does this happen to us all the time?
- Patrick
TO TRICK
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! LOVE FROM YOUR SECRET ADMIRER XXX
To Pete,
You wrote that card didn’t you?
- From Patrick
To Trick,
I really don’t no what you’re talking about. Why would I send you a Valentine’s card?
- Pete
To Pete,
How did you know it was a Valentine’s card! The only way you could know is if you sent it. You like me Pete.
- From Patrick
To Trick,
Of corse I do. You're my bestfreind Trick. You're like the bestest frend ever and hemmy too.
- Form Pete
To Pete,
Then hemmy got a valentines card too?
- Patrick
To Trick,
Yep but he just drooled all over it.
- Pete
To Pete,
I think he liked it. Now leave me alone before Ms. Casey sees us
- Patrick
To Trick,
Oh. What happened to you? You’ve turned into such a swot.
- Pete
Yes Pete and that’s why I’ll go places in life, like going to college... unlike you...
- From Patrick
To Trick,
You're so boring, Trick. Good thing I like you so I'll come with you and hemmy too.
- Pete
To Pete,
I know you like me. Don't worry I like you too. And hemmy. Now shut up for a while before we get caught.
- Patrick
To Trick,
Okay.
- Pete