Chapter Text
"There is no worse thing than loneliness. It is like a poison that eats you from the inside over and over again, so much so that in the end there is nothing left but a great emptiness that you feel you will never be able to fill again" - Ariadne's Thoughts
✨
The waves were strong today as there was a heavy storm on the small island of Naxos the night before, making it impossible today for today's swim. Ariadne decided to take a morning walk on the sandy beach and gaze out to sea, it was not yet dawn and the sky was still a pale shade of blue. It had become a little habit for her since arriving on the island, it brought her peace to listen to the sounds of the waves and for a while she could get rid of her discontent.
"That dream again," she thought wistfully. It had been some days now, but she had often had the same dream. A boat in the sea, she trying to swim to reach it but her feet never being able to enter the water to a point. As if she had gained roots in the earth and they wouldn't let go, and always a hand on her shoulder, as if to stop her. She could never see past her waist and her face was always dark but she could see a soft smile, sometimes she had horns, but it always said:
"are you afraid of me?" Probably she should..but she never felt fear for the figure but before she answered he always woke up.
She felt it was useless to think about him but still the wounds of rejection hadn't healed. The sea reminded her of that quite a bit, especially when boats of fishermen and sailors from voyages often passed by.
Deep down she wanted to forget him, or rather, she wanted more to know why. She had helped him with the Minotaur, she had left her home for a future with him, and he had left her.
"Does it have something to do with me? Was it my fault for something? Did, did..." These thoughts were eating away at her, and she probably needed something stronger than just a hike.
She may never have been a fan of banquets, even in Crete where her father, King Minos, held constant feasts to show off his wealth, she preferred to go unnoticed or usually spent hours in her room studying for maps and mazes. But that changed when she married the god Dionysus, and it was beyond what she was used to. Voices, dances, songs, fury and joy together. He put her in the deep end at first, and as much as this terrified her, another thrilled her. It made her feel free, to forget everything and just live in the moment.
But maybe today wasn't that moment.
✨
"Is something bothering you, star? You haven't touched the chalice at all and you are unusually quiet" Dionysus asked.
He had a worried look in his eye but she didn't have the courage to answer him. He felt that if he confessed to him, especially now in the midst of a feast, it would certainly spoil his mood. At least that's what she told herself so as not to displease him.
"All is well, my lack of speech is probably due to the fact that I am exhausted from last night's revelry.
"For you to speak with so much decorum in the midst of a feast, it means that the situation has become serious! I guess I've lost my ability to please my wife" he said with a crooked smile.
"Not at all! You have always treated me extremely well and have given me everything and more a woman could want from a husband" , and it was true. He had found her at her most difficult time, alone and lost and offered her reassurance, protection and was always there for her even though he did it in his own, irrational way.
Dionysus looked at her for a long time, his gaze steady, until he set down his wine to come closer to her. His intense stare overwhelmed her, and he tried to avert his gaze, but he didn't have time as he grabbed her chin, making her stare him in the face just inches apart.
"I know when you're lying darling, but I won't try to force you to tell me, nor will I get angry with you, I want you to know that you can tell me anything" he told her in a voice so soft it made her shiver.
"I wouldn't dare do that, you know how to understand the other person so they can hide anything from you"
"Maybe, but you are an enigma to me as vast as the sky with stars, beautiful but unknown, I can't like the stars understand you, but I know when a star begins to lose its shine" he said as he stroked her cheek looking at her with a narrowed gaze.
"I don't..."
Before she could reply though, Dionysus leaned in and kissed her. It was soft and tender in contrast to the wild nature of the revelry. It was as if all the rest of the world was gone, and the shouts and laughter of his followers were far away from them, and it was just the two of them under the night sky.
But Dionysus pulled away, breaking their kiss, and they just stared at each other with their heads together. But Ariadne wanted more, she wanted to chase that feeling again. Ariadne made to kiss him, but he pulled back but didn't pull out of her embrace. "For the god of wine and mania, he sure has a lot of restraint" she thought.
"I'd better take you to your chamber to rest, I want to know that above all else my wife is well and not here too her stamina." She had no time to protest before he took her hand to lift her to her feet.
After thanking them for their participation, he encouraged them to continue until they were full, and they made their way back.
✨
The road to their home was never as awkward as it was. It felt like there was such tension that you could cut it with a sword. They continued to walk through the woods in silence, holding hands, but Ariadne preferred to be a little further behind him. She could never catch up to him, not only was he taller and his strides longer, but he was also portly, his back with its long black curls showing her his majesty and divine presence.
The view from the mansion began to appear through the trees, and for a moment she felt relief, until Dionysus stopped abruptly and turned toward her, making her fall against him.
She made to pull away but managed to pull her by the arm in his embrace to keep her from stumbling. But when she looked up to ask him why he stopped she felt her blood run cold. His gaze now looked more serious and the moon made his features sharper and darker and his eyes glowed as if trying to look into her soul. "He had better let me fall," she thought, "it would hurt less from this."
"It's about him right?" He asked his gaze still cold.
"What are you talking about?"
"Morning walks on the sea, I've noticed, every time a boat comes along your eyes search the crowd as if it will spotlight that unselfish one who dumped you."
"It's not true I've forgotten him now, he's nothing but a memory that will fade with time." Tears threatened to escape from her eyes but she could not hold them back.
"Would you go running back to him again? Do you think you'd be happy?" The grip on his arm squeezed to the point of pain.
"Please you don't understand..let go of me.."
"Help me understand you then, or I don't know what else to offer you."
"You don't have to offer anything, you've stood by me like no one else, and I love you more than anything!" She was about to cry with greasiness now.
"And yet I feel that my love is not enough for you."
He felt like this was it, it would all be over before it even began, he was angry and as a god who was to say he didn't have the strength to leave her and leave her alone again? She hated herself for being like this, she felt that no matter what she did nothing would be worth it.
She came to the conclusion that while she had married the god of wine and his presence brought her absolute joy in her life, she also had married the god of madness and punishment, and pity to those that dared challenge his patience. She needed time to think, time to calm herself, because she feared the worst, and it would be her fault.
"I'm sorry, it has nothing to do with you, but I need some time, I can't take it anymore..." And she pulled enough to get out of his grip and started to run without giving him a chance to explain.
She didn't know where she was going but if she could even escape the hatred that was eating at her she would do so firmly.