Chapter Text
Clow Country
The desert sky provides an enormous theater for star-gazing. The dry air keeps the clouds localized to the mountaintops, leaving the skies above Clow's terraced walls clear for miles. Only the arching monolith that reaches over the city walls makes for any interruption of the slow churn of the night sky.
Fai isn't familiar with the stars or their constellations in this world, though he imagines they're not too different from Celes. He wasn't all that familiar with the stars there, either, to be fair, but he likes to think that he might have been if there had been more opportunity to view them this way.
This way, at this particular moment, is sprawled on his back on a marble palace balcony four stories above the streets. It's midsummer, so the air doesn't cool from the day's blazing heights until nearly midnight. The heat is dry, but heavy and presses him into the marble floor, which is refreshingly cool to the touch. He's splayed out as much of himself as he can to maximize contact - limbs, fingers, toes - and tipped his neck just so to cool the tender patch of skin just below his hairline. Under different circumstances, it would be hard to describe the position as "comfortable," but here in the night's oven, it's damned near perfect.
Ironically, the stars overhead, and especially the dense central expanse marking the galactic axis, remind him of snow. He peels one hand away from the floor and extends his arm in front of him, wishing for a moment that he could catch falling flakes of it like he had done when he was young.
"Catching flies?" a voice demands from just beyond the curtains.
"I didn't expect you back until later," Fai grins, but doesn't bother to extricate himself from the floor. He had hoped to have some excuse ready for himself after completely neglecting this evening's dinner invitation, but there simply isn't one. Instead, he opts for his new favorite diversion tactic, "We're you in a hurry to escape the Queen's attention tonight?"
"Shut up."
"But she called you her favorite ninja!"
"She has no idea what a ninja is."
"And she keeps winking at you-"
"Will you stop? Dinner just goes faster when there's no one yammering on and on between courses."
"Now that's not very nice," Fai pouts as Kurogane's face leans out over his own, upside down and sneering. "It's practically the only time I get to see the kids lately, of course I have a lot to say."
Kurogane frowns, "Then why'd you skip out?"
"I'm not the Queen's favorite."
Kurogane grumbles to himself, then barges fully out onto the balcony. He crams himself into the left-over space between Fai's sprawling limbs and the railing, which necessitates both knees bent into his armpits and his arms crossed over his chest. "What's wrong." It's not a question so much as it is a demand to know. Now.
Fai blinks slowly, considering. "I must have got caught up in the view here. Also it's too hot to eat and the floor is cold."
Kurogane scowls at him. "You've been acting off all week. All you do is sleep."
"It's so hot-" his whinge is cut off abruptly as Kurogane's hand covers his face, pinching at his temples and tussling his head against the ground. "That hurts." Fai wrenches himself into a sitting position, then thinks better of it and scoots farther away from the door. "You should really lie down here with me, Kuro-sama, it's much nicer on the floor."
Kurogane lets out an incredulous sigh, but shuffles around to join him. There isn't room for both of them to lay sprawled on the balcony in Fai's preferred position, but if he twists around, sticks his feet back in through the door and sort of wedges his head in next to Fai's elbow it seems to work out alright. "So," he says, "What."
"Oh come on, isn't this better?"
"It's colder," Kurogane concedes, "You wanna talk or just lay here?"
"Just lay here," Fai says lazily. He snakes his arm around the side of Kurogane's face and half-pats, half-slaps at his cheek.
They lie there in silence for a long moment as Fai's thoughts bubble and build. "We've been here six months," he says at last.
"Mmm," Kurogane grunts affirmatively.
"I don't think we've been anywhere for six months."
"That stupid earring is giving us longer and longer lately."
"Yeah..." Fai frowns. In the ten years they've been travelling, and definitely more so recently, there has been a noticeable trend toward longer stays in each dimension. It hasn't been exact, and there have been semi-recent blips where they've only been allowed a day or two before leaving again, but this... "It just feels cruel."
"What? Why?"
"To give them that much time together, only to..." he trails off again.
"Yeah," Kurogane agrees, and leaves it at that. He breathes in the resulting silence for a few minutes before adding, "You need to do something."
"About what?"
"Not 'about,'" Kurogane corrects him, "Not 'to,' not 'for.' Just...do something. Stop sleeping, go out. You're wallowing in shit you can't control again."
Fai laughs bitterly at this. The truth is, he doesn't know what to do. The first few months of their stay were spent traveling through the tiny country from end to end under Sakura's careful direction. They'd spent money in all the major tourist traps and seen every last site of geopolitical importance that Clow has to offer. And since returning, they've dined at the palace every goddamned night and been waited on hand and foot by palace staff. Syaoran is spending every waking moment with Sakura and Kurogane is off doing things that mostly seem to involve being introverted and swinging a sword. And Fai is...well, Fai is realizing that all of his regular somethings to do are easily outsourced. "It's been so long," he admits, grabbing at the hair around his temples, "I don't know anything outside of travelling and playing housewife anymore."
"That's bullshit."
"It's not," Fai insists, "I am good at camping and cooking. I am excellent at scrounging around for money and haggling for a place to stay. I am the master of working weird little jobs for days at a time and then disappearing into the night. I can fight off demons and angry mobs blindfolded-"
Kurogane bonks a fist against Fai's forehead. "I'll fight you."
Fai snorts. Of course this is what Kurogane has seized on. "You'll lose." He allows a bit of silver-blue magic to crackle from his finger tips mock-threateningly.
"I'll take that bet," Kurogane sits up suddenly and stretches his shoulders with an exaggerated growl, "Be good to have a sparring partner again anyway."
Fai frowns at this. "You haven't been sparring with Syaoran?" This is a sacred ritual for the two of them as far as Fai is concerned. How many mornings has he disappeared into the city or improvised additional courses for their breakfast just to stay out of the way?
"Nah, the kid's busy."
"That's one way of putting it," Fai agrees, pulling himself up to sit cross-legged, "Doesn't that...you know..." He raises his eyebrows meaningfully.
"Piss me off?" Kurogane finishes for him. He sighs and shakes his head. "It doesn't not piss me off, but..."
"But what?"
"But here is where we are now," Kurogane says with finality. "It's different here. He's 25 years old and finally able to be with the person he fucked up the entire universe to save for a little bit, and so it doesn't matter if I'm pissed off and you're feeling useless. He needs to do...whatever he needs to do." He starts to say something else, but cuts himself off before the words reach his lips and hauls himself to his feet instead.
Fai stares at him, at a loss for words for a long moment. Then he laughs - not loud or hard, but with genuine warmth. "Good god, Kuro-tan, our baby bird is flying the nest." He fully intends to run with this, to twist it into a string of long-form teasing about Kurogane becoming old and decrepit, maybe toss in a few jabs about the handful of silver hairs sparkling at his temples. But before Kurogane can bark out a "shut up," hell, before Fai even finishes speaking the words, the realization that this is exactly what's happening smacks into him like a load of bricks. "Oh shit."
Kurogane sighs. "He's not a baby bird. He's fine."
Fai snorts. "I'm not worried about him."
"Good. Then quit moping on the balcony and come back inside."
Fai makes a noise somewhere between a whine and a fog horn and seriously considers flopping shamelessly back onto the cool marble. But that would leave him here alone, which is very much not how he'd like to spend the evening. Instead, he reaches an arm, slowly, agonizingly up and waggles his fingers toward Kurogane's shadowed figure. "Help me up?"
"Tche," Kurogane scoffs, but grabs him by the wrist and pulls. Fai takes the opportunity to drape himself over his shoulders like an ill-fitting cloak. Kurogane twists his torso a few times, trying in vain to free himself, but Fai's arms are like cast iron holding him in place. "Too hot for this shit..."
"This is what I've been trying to say, Kuro-tan," Fai whines.
"Get off," Kurogane insists, swaying them both into the doorframe and getting tangled in the curtains.
"No. Fight me." Fai punctuates this by leaping up and wrapping his legs around Kurogane's waist. This brings out the cursing and shouting Fai is hoping for, and he takes full advantage of Kurogane's momentary blind rage to steer them both crashing back down onto the balcony floor. "I win," Fai grins and braces himself for the cascsde of hits he's sure are coming his way, but is disappointed when none materialize. He peeks up over the curve of Kurogane's shoulder to find him staring up at the sky overhead. He flicks a finger against the tip of his nose. "Are you concussed?"
A closed-fist bonk on the head is the only reply Fai receives, so he shrugs and settles in against Kurogane's side. "I told you the view was good."
"Mmm."
"And it's cooler."
"Mmm."
"You're welcome." Fai flashes a smug smile and closes his eyes, fully intending to rest them only for a few seconds. The sky here really does have an otherworldy beauty to it - even if it does portend doom - and he's suddenly more eager to share the view than ever. But, when he opens them again, dawn is creeping up over the horizon and he is tangled in the bed sheets, safely within the room.
Unnamed World
Syaoran is 14, and they've been travelling for 3 months.
There is a noticeably lighter air to this second leg of their journey through time and space. The moment when the pork bun opens its mouth and the world seems to start slipping sideways no longer puts Kurogane on his guard the way it once did. Now there is...anticipation? or something like it. Excitement, maybe, rather than trepidation about what sort of jacked-up mess they're about to step into this time. Jacked-up messes, Kurogane now realizes, are the only constant throughout the multiverse. Acknowledging this has allowed him to savor the subtle differences between them, and hold out hope that maybe the next one can be solved with a sword.
Still, excitement notwithstanding, travelling across dimensional boundaries is exhausting. They move much more frequently than they used to, back when the princess was still collecting feathers. Now it seems every time they make a connection, or help someone, or touch one toe into whatever the giant jacked-up-mess-of-this-dimension is, Mokona's earring glows and they have to be on their way. Most times this takes only days - the last world took mere hours.
So it's fine, he supposes, that there seems to be nothing of consequence happening in their current home-away-from-home. The room where they've spent the night - a small, ramshackle thing on the second floor of a pub - is quiet for the moment. The others have ventured out in search of food, but he's opted instead to draw the shades and spread out across the over-stuffed sofa. With a little luck, he'll manage a nap before any of the others come back with their noise and...touching.
The sofa had seemed much more comfortable last night, when he'd crashed down onto it and passed out almost instantly, too tired to think about the sagging midsection or the way tiny springs poke into his still-tender shoulder. But it's all good, he's cracked the window open and the breeze blowing through the curtains feels nice, even if the springs don't. It's not long before nonsense stories are playing out behind his eyelids and he's barely conscious of the poking, anyway.
He doesn't hear the door open, but feels it close again with all the force of cannon fire. He bolts upright, clutching for his sword before remembering that he's left it balanced against the coatrack, which is a pretty fucking awful tactical error on his part but, goddamn it, whatever it is that connects his eyes to his brain feels frayed from lack of sleep and his limbs aren't cooperating anyway. Besides, he can already guess-
"I found breakfast~!"
Kurogane can practically hear the sparkles in Fai's voice, and he growls exasperatedly in response.
"Shit, you're sleeping still. I'm sorry." Fai sounds sincere enough, but then he's flopping down hard on Kurogane's chest and laughing at the way the breath comes spluttering out of him. "I pawned some clothes and found a bakery. There's bread if you're hungry."
Kurogane is not hungry and he's not in the mood. He twists just enough on the sofa to send Fai crashing to the floor with an unceremonious thud.
"Ow," Fai whines, rubbing at his elbow. "Such a brute. I only wanted to lay down for a minute, too."
"Lay on the bed."
"That's no fun."
Kurogane cracks one eye open as Fai dusts himself off and slithers back onto the couch and across his chest. "Get off. We agreed that the kid-"
"The kid," Fai says meaningfully, "Is off exploring the city with Mokona. You know how he gets - they'll be gone for hours." He yawns dramatically and adds, "I really do just want to rest here with you. I'm so tired from all this dimension hopping that I'm starting to see spots." He nuzzles dreamily against Kurogane's chest as if to illustrate his point.
Well, fuck. It's probably fine, Kurogane decides and twists his fingers into blond hair just behind Fai's ear. It's as much permission as he' going to give, and Fai exhales happily and bodily against him. Their only rule for the...whatever they've been doing is to not make Syaoran feel awkward (and by unspoken extension, to never, ever let Mokona find out). So, let the kid and pork bun run around the city. He twirls at Fai's hair and lets the breath he's been holding go.
"Syaoran probably knows," Fai mumbles absently into his chest.
Kurogane snorts at this. "You kidding? That kid doesn't notice oncoming traffic half the time."
"Yeah, but it's not like you're subtle-"
Kurogane's head wrenches off the sofa at this. "I'm not subtle? I'M-"
"Shhh, shhh," Fai soothes with a chuckle, "I just meant..." he trails off, scrutinizing Kurogane's face as if the rest of his thought is written somewhere on it. "Well, I guess it's hard to explain."
"Try."
"No," Fai pulls the hand from his hair and presses a kiss against its palm, "Tired." He cups Kurogane's hand against his cheek and settles his head back down against his chest. "Let's just be for a few minutes."
Kurogane is not good at being. Kurogane is good at doing, but doing is a big ask at the moment, so what he manages instead is to brush his lips against Fai's stupid forehead and gurgle some syllable of assent. He wonders vaguely if he's becoming entirely too domesticated for his own good, but Fai is humming happily and he smells like vanilla and fresh baked bread, so that thought is going to have to wait. He closes his eyes.
The room is dark when he opens them again. There's a sudden clatter from the entryway that throws him off balance and before he realizes what's happening Fai is on the floor and then he is on the floor and there is a pork bun bouncing on his head looking more concerned than it has any right to. He plucks it off as a steady stream of "Oh no, Kurogane broke Fai!" and "Did you forget how the couch works?" and "If you have sake I want some, too!" starts flowing and chucks her toward the doorway where he knows the kid is standing.
"Is everyone...alright?" Syaoran asks tentatively as Mokona lands on his shoulder ("Again! Again!"). He twists the small handle near the door frame that brings the lights up.
Fai is suddenly all flapping wrists and flailing limbs as he tries to brush off any need for concern. "We're fine. You know how Kuro-tan is. He was just-" He gestures wildly at Kurogane, wide eyes begging for him to fill in the plot.
Damn it, why is this suddenly his fault? Kurogane harrumphs and offers the first excuse that comes to mind. "Sparring."
"In the dark?" A quietly amused grin is forming on Syaoran's face now, and Kurogane realizes too late that Fai is sporting fabric marks on his face, and his shirt is sporting a matching lake of drool just below his collar.
Kurogane exhales exasperatedly and mutters something about stealth training, but Syaoran is already chuffing out heavy, stacato guffaws and Mokona is stamping up and down demanding to know whats funny and Fai is apparently trying for takeoff with all his flailing limbs and-
Fuck.
"I'm sorry," Syaoran manages, and Kurogane thinks there is no way in hell the kid is sorrier than he is. "But you really don't need to...hide," he finishes with emphasis.
"Hide what?" Mokona demands to know.
"There's not-" Fai starts and immediately stops, screwing up his face. "Kurogane is too big to hide."
Oh for- Kurogane smacks a hand down onto Fai's head to shut him up. "Look, kid. There's just the three of us on this little trip-"
"FOUR of us!" Mokona insists.
"Four of us," Kurogane corrects himself against his better instincts, "And we didn't want you to feel...weird."
"Weird?" Syaoran chuckles again, "You realize I've seen people kiss before, right?"
"Who's kissing?" Mokona shouts.
"No, that's not it," Kurogane stares at the ceiling for a long moment, trying to string the correct words together, "It's a small group. We didn't want you to feel like you're...being shut out or something stupid."
"I don't feel like that at all," Syaoran laughs, "I'm really happy for you. Truly. And it's not like..." He trails off, seeming to think better of whatever he was about to say.
"Not like what?" Fai asks, oblivious.
"I mean," Syaoran coughs, "It's been obvious for a long time."
"What is? Pay attention to Mokona!"
Kurogane balks at this. "Bullshit."
"Kurogane," Syaoran is laughing again, "You cut. off. your. arm. And Fai gave up his magic-"
Oh for fuck's sake. "It's not like it was a gift!" Kurogane roars and pulls himself back to the couch. Of all the stupid- "I'd have done it for you, too, kid."
"Of course," Syaoran grins, trying and failing for his normal earnestness. He can't resist the opportunity to needle a bit more, thought. "You know, in some cultures, they just exchange rings."
"I like to think of it as a blood sacrifice," Fai chimes in before Kurogane can splutter a response, "A morbid dowry to be sure, but well worth the cost." He tries to grope at Kurogane's knee but is quickly swatted away.
"Oooh, sacrifice! Mokona wants a toe!"
"You people are sick," Kurogane harrumphs and crosses his arm across his chest, pressing the tips of his fingers into his tender, empty shoulder. He doesn't regret it, not in the least, but he's not really ready to joke about it either.
Fai, for all of his idiocy and feigned obliviousness, seems to latch onto this. "I think it's time to eat something," he says, getting to his feet smoothly. "I think we slept more than we meant to and now my stomach is gurgling. I bought some rolls-"
"Yes! Mokona will accept a sacrifice of rolls!"
"And we found some fruit," Syaoran adds quickly, fumbling with his bag while Fai fishes around the entryway for where he's left his basket. He produces a few golden orb-shaped fruits that might be apples or pears. He hands them out quickly, pausing only in front of where Kurogane is seated. "Sorry," he says sheepishly.
"It's fine."
"It's not," Syaoran insists, and the kid's earnestness has come back at full-force, "It was...just nice. For a minute, it reminded me of how affectionate my other parents were with each other and I just... I got carried away."
His other parents. That hits like a load of bricks to his gut. He hated this joke when Fai first trotted it out all the way back in Piffle - he's still not fond of it even now - but for today...well, for today he'll let it go. Well, almost. "I'm not even 10 years older than you," he huffs.
"Kuro-sama must have had a very precocious puberty." Fai chimes in as Syaoran stammers, trying to walk back his awkwardness.
Kurogane socks Fai in the shoulder, just hard enough to smart. "Shut up, old man." This is his life now, all the chaos and inappropriate jokes and touching... Has been for some time, if he's being honest, it's just that it feels so much more...intentional? lately. Or at least less like a cruel twist of fate. He turns back to Syaoran. "You're a good kid."
"Um-"
"Mokona is a good kid too!"
In a flash, Mokona is bounding across Kurogane's lap, spraying breadcrumbs from her oversized mouth. He snags her by the ears. If the chaos is going to be intentional...
"Kurogane is going to eat me!"
He shuts her up with a wolfish grin, then plants a very chaste kiss on her forehead jewel. The ten seconds of stunned silence this buys him are golden, heavenly even. Then he tosses her back to the sofa and the chaos folds back in around him like an old, comfortable blanket.
Clow Country
The next morning finds Fai left to his own devices once again. Kurogane is already gone by the time he manages to drag himself out of bed, having risen with the sun to go stomp around the city center and fight bears...or whatever it is he does out there every morning. Fai much prefers to start his day with a more understated ritual: cursing the sun and consuming enough caffeine to kill a bear without the fighting.
The sun, unbothered by his threats and grumblings, continues to beat down through the open windows. Fai harrumphs and pulls the curtains closed, but these are gauzy and translucent and don't do much more than stifle the morning breeze. He decides to split the difference and open them halfway, allowing the breeze in to stir the air while he fumbles around for the morning essentials: pitcher, kettle, and the rattly old tea cannister with the chipping lacquer.
There is a small stove in the corner of the suite that is apparently a godsend in the winter months when the desert nights get chilly. Lighting it in the middle of summer, though, seems masochistic at best. Thankfully, it takes only a few quick flicks of his fingers to summon a small warming spell inside the kettle and then there is Tea. He grabs an absurdly large mug that they've picked up in some other world (the words "Bitch Fuel" dance across the body in pink decorative script, not that he can read them), fills it to the brim, and settles into one of the large poufy cushions scattered around the room. This particular cushion sits next to the window, and the direct view into the street below that it offers means that it has been broken-in to fit his frame better than any other. He wiggles his way in a little deeper still and sighs.
The scene is, from an aesthetic perspective, positively perfect. Soft light, warm breeze. His tea is aromatic and the steam tickles at his nose. It's early enough that the streets outside are only partially awake - there's no hawking or haggling at this hour, no roar of foot traffic. Children run giggling in groups, headed to school while vendors set up stalls. A small toddler breaks away from his parents to make faces at stray dogs. Charming.
Fai closes his eyes and sips his tea. This is the part of the morning when he usually crawls back into bed, draws the sheets over his head, and plots out a really great dream to tamp down the creeping boredom that is already enveloping him. But not today. Today he has promised to Do Things. Things that he wants to do. Things that he likes. But here's the rub: he likes drinking tea in the sun, looking out over a picturesque morning scene. He has wanted to do this exact thing in a hundred different worlds, a hundred different times, but has been robbed of the pleasure by a hundred different distractions. Mokona wants breakfast. Syaoran needs a bandage. Kurogane can't find his socks. And so on. Now he's free of distractions, but also seemingly free of any joy it might bring.
Maybe the joy of window-sitting is all in the stealing of small snatches of it here and there. The anticipation of having a quiet moment...someday.
But. He has plans to make, because as easy as it would be to simply sink deeper into this hollow feeling, he knows Kurogane is right, even if he is an ass about it. He bites at his lower lip and thinks back to the last time he had long stretches of time to fill on his own. This puts him back in Celes, he realizes with a frown, which isn't exactly a period of his life he cares to revisit. Not that it matters all that much, anyway. He knows, deep down, that he wants to make something. Maybe cook something, maybe write a spell – he’s never done much more than memorize and repeat. The problem, as always, is filling in the details of what, how, and where. And this is where the boredom really catches up with him: it has gnawed his imagination to a comfortable blank and piled the shavings of it into an inviting bed.
Maybe he could learn more about the magic here in Clow-
He's yanked out of his thoughts by jostling at the heavy door that leads into the palace. He sets his mug down silently on the floor and tiptoes toward the noise. It's not like Kurogane to forget something like keys and he doubts the palace staff would be imposing at this hour. The jostling turns to jingling as a key is roughly jammed into the lock and within seconds a giggling mass of limbs and bunny ears erupts into the room, slamming the door shut behind them.
Fai practically squeals with happiness and throws his hands in the air.
"Fai!" Sakura squeals as well, then seems to remember something and presses a finger to her lips before locking the door again. Syaoran is by her side a moment later with Mokona balancing on his head, and there are plenty of morning greetings and hugs to be passed around.
"We missed you at dinner last night," Syaoran says, concern lining his words, "Kurogane said you were sick."
"Just a stomach thing," Fai improvises quickly, waiving a hand. It might have been nice of Kurogane to share this with him, but he supposes he did bodyslam them both into the balcony last night and so probably doesn't have a right to complain. "It's all better now. What are you all," he pauses to look at them, face twisting in confusion. They're clearly dressed for a royal function, not for thundering through the hallways or breaking and entering. "What are you doing here?"
"We're hiding!" Mokona shouts excitedly, and Syaoran has to grab and hold her tightly to calm her down again.
"It's true," Sakura fills in helpfully, "We're supposed to be meeting the ambassadors from the neighboring country to the north but-"
"But Mokona gave the prince the slip when he came to find us!" Mokona continues, slightly more quietly this time, "With Super Sound Projection!"
Fai can hear shouting out in the hallway and the slamming of doors coming closer. "Sounds like they're serious about finding you."
"He's just mad," Sakura says, "It's not even an important visit. Touya just wants to keep us close to him at all times so there's no..." Sakura trails off and blushes wildly.
Fai cocks an eyebrow and wonders how in all the worlds these two can still be so awkward. "Well in that case, you'd better hide in the wardrobe or under the bed or something. It sounds like they're coming this way." Syaoran and Sakura nod silent assent and make for the wardrobe. Mokona rolls beneath the bed. Fai chuckles and rakes his fingers back and forth through his hair, trying to recreate some semblance of bed-head. He unfocuses his eyes and lets his jaw hang slack so that when the inevitable knock comes at the door, he's ready to answer it wearing perfect, sleepy disgruntlement. It's not Prince Touya himself, but a guardsman who is exceedingly apologetic and eager to leave Fai to his beauty sleep once he's made sure the princess is nowhere near. Fai thanks him for his diligence and promises to keep an eye out.
Syaoran, Sakura, and Mokona emerge from the furniture looking sheepish. "Sorry about that," Syaoran says, scratching at his neck.
"Not at all," Fai insists, then waves them toward the poufy chairs, "Sit down, sit down. So you're playing hooky today, ah?"
Sakura sighs, "We need it. We haven't had a break in-"
"Weeks," Syaoran finishes for her.
"Even Mokona is exhausted!"
"Poor Mokona!" Fai exclaims, gathering the white ball of fluff into his arms, "All work and no play makes Mokona a dull Mokona..."
"We were hoping we could talk you into disappearing with us for the day," Sakura says, looking around the room, "There's a small oasis not too far outside the city wall that we used to hide at when we were kids - it's not much but we've been dying to get back, and if you and Kurogane could come too...er, where is Kurogane?"
"Oh, Kuro-mu's off fighting bears," Fai shrugs, "He should be back soon enough."
Sakura's eyes widen with concern, then confusion. "There are no bears in Clow..."
"Um, Sakura," Syaoran starts.
"Wild boars, then," Fai finishes, shooting Syaoran a meaningful look, "Poor Kuro-rinta has such trouble finding anyone on his level to train with in the mornings now."
"I..." Syaoran looks guiltily around the room.
"Don't take that crap from him." A soft click of the door's locking mechanism falling back into place is the only announcement that it's been opened and closed. Kurogane steps further into the room with a half-scowl. "You want a beating, you know where you can find it."
"Kurogane!" Mokona bounces happily to his shoulder. "You should have brought us back a boar."
"I don't think they're very fun to play with, Mokona," Sakura says.
"I don't want to play with it - I want to eat it!" Mokona insists, "Mokona is soooo hungry! Bacon, ham steaks, butt roast, smoked trotters, pickled snout...!"
"Maybe you should eat breakfast before you decide to play run-away," Kurogane flashes a wicked grin, "Do you have any idea how many people are looking for you three? Well, you two at least." He eyes up Syaoran and Sakura, "The entire royal guard must have stopped me - one by one - on my way back."
"Probably because you aren't supposed to fight the wild boars," Mokona adds, helpfully.
"They are protected," Sakura adds with a serious nod.
"Forgetting the bears-"
"Boars."
"Forgetting the boars for a second," Fai says, louder than he means to, "Kuro-run, the kids need a break from all the royal goings-on and wanted to sneak away with us for the day." He puts on his best sparkling, pleading face and dewey eyes. "I think we could grant them that, couldn't we? It's been so long."
"Sooooo long," Mokona chimes in.
"Yes, and we know a wonderful place!" Sakura adds, clapping her hands together excitedly, "I can't wait to show you."
Kurogane closes his eyes and sighs, seemingly well aware that his plans for the day have already been decided and there is little point in arguing. "They're not, like, gonna hang us for kidnapping you or something, are they?"
"I don't think that's the way they do things here, Kuro-sama."
"Certainly not," Sakura says confidently, "Touya will just...yell a lot."
"At me," Syaoran clarifies.
"Father and Mother won't mind as much," Sakura continues, "It's not like we're more than glorified tour guides anyway. Please?" She also puts on her best sparkling face.
"Alright," Kurogane says with a shrug, "But getting out of this castle isn't going to be easy. I wasn't kidding when I said they had the whole guard looking for you."
"Surely a ninja could find us a way out, Kuro-sama," Fai chides him. He hasn't felt this excited since they arrived here, and the possibility of a dramatic escape does nothing to temper that.
"Bath first," Kurogane insists.
"So your stink doesn’t give our position away to the boars!" Mokona squeals.
"Will you stop with the goddamned boars!" Kurogane stomps toward the bathroom, "And the rest of you had better be ready to go by the time I get out. Lose the spangly metal bits off your clothes and stretch your muscles. We're going quick, and we're going quiet."
Operation Quick and Quiet (as Mokona loudly and lazily dubs it) commences twenty minutes later with a freshly scrubbed Kurogane taking the lead. Sakura, having spent her life here, has a better than average understanding of the labyrinthine passageways that connect the palace to various locations inside and outside the city walls and takes the role of navigator. Fai has gathered all that can be called food from their rooms (mostly dried fruits and crackers, but it will make a meal in a pinch) along with an extensive collection of alcohol "borrowed" from the castle cellars and tied it all together using a slap-dash mix of magic and canvas bags. These clang softly at his back with every step, but he's taken the initiative to weave a sound-proofing spell around their group to help quieten their movements through the stone corridors. Still, this doesn't provide perfect protection, and Syaoran's primary role in this great escape is to keep Mokona quiet as they brave the lamp-lit tunnels.
"Here's the southwest leg of the passage," Sakura says, peering around a corner. "This should take us outside, and then it's just a short walk. The only trouble is..." she trails off, dropping her voice to a whisper and pointing aggressively down the corridor, "There will be at least two guards at the exit. They're keeping people from coming in, though, so they'll be stationed outside."
"We'll distract them like we did the last one," Kurogane says, "Get ready, Pork Bun. I'll toss these stones past their heads, then you need to make noises that sound like they're coming from outside so we can sneak up to the gate."
Fai frowns, "That will keep them looking outside, but how are we actually planning to get through the gate? They're not going to abandon their posts over some noise."
"Kurogane is going to knock them out!" Mokona shouts. Syaoran clamps a hand over her mouth and holds her tight against his chest.
"You're the wizard," Kurogane growls, "I kinda figured you'd have something up your sleeve."
Fai brightens at this, "I didn't want to intrude on your ninja assassin cosplay, but," he stiffles a giggle as Kurogane's lip titters toward his nose at that assessment, "I think I can make something work." He pulls their party back around the corner before lighting up the passageway with crackling blue magic. He writes out letters that bind them once, twice, three times before fading back into the lamp-lit dimness.
Kurogane raises his eyebrows, waiting for an explanation. "What did you do?"
"It's..." Fai considers how to best explain, "I don't think I can make all of us invisible, so I just made us very...boring. So boring the guards won't pay any attention to us if we walk right past them."
"Not bad," Kurogane grins, "We can probably skip the distraction, then."
"No," Fai frowns, peering down the corridor toward the exit, "The extra distraction will help. Also, we want to keep them on that side of the door. The spell only works from a distance - if you touch one of them, they're going to notice us."
"You don't have anything that works up close?" Kurogane growls.
"Sensory magic is hard, Kuro-tan. I'd need more time and probably a-"
"Nevermind," Kurogane cuts him off, "Useless kiddy party magician." But he's grinning in that wolfish way he does when he wants to tease but doesn't want anyone to know he's teasing and Fai can tell he's enjoying himself way too much. "We'll be careful."
Moving carefully along the empty expanse of hallway is easy. Maneuvering a party of four plus lunch, plus an over-excited interdimensional portal between two highly trained (even if distracted) guards is much more difficult. They manage though, however awkwardly, to make it through the gate. It's very nearly a clean get-a-way, in fact, until Mokona decides to celebrate their success with a song and dance that includes leaping onto Fai's clanking packs, which totter against his back and then crash spectacularly to the ground.
"Oops."
"Oops?" Kurogane growls as the guards bolt into action and round on them, "Pork Bun..."
Mokona leaps from the pile-up, unfazed. "Secret technique #45: SMOKE BOMB!"
______
The oasis that Sakura and Syaoran wanted so much to show them is indeed beautiful, Fai notes with a touch of wonder. It's small, but vibrantly green against the rock and sand that surround it. There's a small, clear pool at the center and flowers of different colors poke out through pockets of thick foliage. It makes for a scene so idyllic, in fact, that the group of soot-blackened, coughing miscreants that have somehow meandered their way into it stick out like a sore thumb.
"You didn't have to belch out the entire contents of a furnace!" Kurogane grumbles.
"Where do think smoke comes from?" Mokona spins atop Syaoran's head, still burping out small puffs of grey particulate.
"We got away, in the end," Fai reminds him, with a chuckle, "I think the food might be ruined, though." He sets the remains of the canvas packs at the side of the pool and begins fishing through them. Every last edible thing is covered in soot. The bottles are as well, but at least their contents can be salvaged. He rescues the bottles and dumps the rest unceremoniously at his feet. "Looks like we might be having a liquid lunch."
"I'll drink to that," Kurogane grins and snatches a bottle for himself. He yanks the cork with his teeth and takes a long, deep pull. "Tastes like soot," he announces, wiping his hand across his chin and accidentally leaving a clean patch in its wake.
Fai twists his face in mock disgust and snatches the bottle away. "I was going to wash that off, Kuro-tan," he chides, tipping the bottle back into his own mouth. "Ugh, it needs it." He fetches the cork and slams it back into the bottle. "You do, too."
"And you're pristine over there?" Kurogane attempts to argue, but Fai is already peeing off the outer layer of his clothes. "What the hell are you doing now?"
Fai pauses, wondering if this is a trick question. It's perfectly obvious what he's doing: he is stripping. He is stripping so that he can more easily wash his soot ruined clothes and self in the pool without drowning. He looks over at Syaoran and Sakura doing the same and wonders what exactly Kurogane has in mind for himself. "Are you just going to jump in fully clothed?" he balks.
"I..." Kurogane starts, frowning, "Yes?"
"So shy," Fai clucks, "At least take the outer layer off so you don't drown." Most fashions in Clow are layered in some way, which admittedly struck Fai as terribly incongruous with the heat at first. It hasn't taken long, though, to appreciate the cooling effect the layers provide when coupled with the light fabrics and colors favored for clothing here. It also keeps him from blistering in the sun, which is an added bonus. And of course, it provides a shorter underlayer suitable for swimming clothes. Although, knowing Kurogane... Fai sighs and shakes his head, "You're not wearing anything under there, are you."
Kurogane doesn't answer, only peels away his outer tunic. He is indeed wearing a second shirt beneath it, which he also wrenches off a few seconds later. He conspicuously leaves his trousers in place as he begins wading into the water.
Syaoran and Sakura leave piles of their clothing on the shore and race into the water. There's no sense in trying to launder their court finery in a pond - if it can be salvaged at all, it will have to be by the experts in the palace laundry. Fai splashes in after them, his own clothes in tow, and makes a large show of flailing around and throwing water in every direction. Kurogane snorts and stays in the shallow water to scrub the soot away as best he can.
The sun is high and hot overhead and although the water is cool, Fai can feel his skin starting to bake under its surface. Reluctantly, he gives up on finding new ways to soak the kids and wanders back toward the shore. There are a number of taller scrub bushes set at intervals only a short distance off, so he wrings what water he can from his outer cloak and drapes it across their branches, making a small canopy to hide under.
Kurogane joins him a few minutes later, newly clean bottle in hand. "Where'd that pork bun get to?" he wonders out loud.
"She's around here somewhere," Fai murmurs, closing his eyes against the sun's glare, "Can't have gone far."
"Probably at the bottom of the lake," Kurogane snorts and passes the bottle.
Fai takes a long drink and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, "So much better. You think we ought to share with them?" He nods towards Syaoran and Sakura, still splashing noisily in the oasis pool. Sakura has managed to crawl onto Syaoran's shoulders and is attempting to use his hair as reins to hold on as he stumbles into shallower water. Syaoran splashes at her legs ineffectually, then decides to go all-out and tickle her feet. She kicks, he falls, and they both tumble gracelessly back into the water. When Syaoran resurfaces, Sakura is waiting for him to once again throw her arms around his neck, not managing to pull herself quite up and over his shoulders this time, but still glomming on tightly enough that he's left piggy-backing her around the water.
Fai can't look away, not even as Sakura sneaks a kiss onto Syaoran's cheek, not even as Syaoran deviously turns to deepen it into something not fit for a princess in public. He ought to feel embarrassed, he's sure, but instead his chest swells and his shoulders float and it’s all he can do just to sigh happily and close his eyes.
"Good god, look at you," he hears Kurogane saying and cracks an eye open.
"Hmm?"
"I was saying," Kurogane rolls his eyes, "That they're terrible drunks and unmanageable already. But you were somewhere 800 miles away."
"Nonsense," Fai steals the bottle, "I'm right here." He sets the bottle to rest in Kurogane's lap and leans in to rest his head against his chest. "Would hate to be anywhere else."
"Now there is something I believe."
"What's that supposed to mean, Kuro-pippi?" Fai demands, pinching playfully at Kurogane's side, "Are you saying I-" His accusations are cut short, though, as he catches sight of Syaoran attempting to dunk Sakura under the water, only to be overcome at the last second as she grabs his cheeks and pulls at his face. Then they're both floating in the water, laughing and flailing, and Fai is grinning like an idiot. "Why are they so fucking cute? I just want to smoosh their cheeks-"
"I'd settle for knocking their heads," Kurogane shrugs, but Fai can see the hint of a smile playing at his lips. Kurogane plucks a stone from amongst the sand and weeds littering the ground and hurls it into the water, narrowly missing Syaoran and Sakura's heads. "Get a room!" he bellows.
"Aw, is Kuro-daddy embarrassed?" Fai coos, winding his arms around both sides of Kurogane's middle until his hands meet.
"Don't start-"
"You're so strict," Fai continues, deciding this is a prime opportunity to put his hands everywhere he plausibly might get away with in front of children, "But you can't even follow your own rules, can you?"
Kurogane ignores him for a few seconds, clearly hoping that whatever Fai has in place of "shame" will kick in before his own ticklishness does. But it's futile, and Fai knows this. He's dug the fingers of one hand into Kurogane's hip and the other into his hair. One leg is slung over Kurogane's lap, and he is trying desperately himself up to sit there when suddenly it all goes pear-shaped, and he finds himself pinned down into the sand. Kurogane studiously ignores his whining and pouting and irritably takes another long pull from the bottle.
"Is that Mokona?" Fai asks, mouth full of sand.
"I'm not letting you up," Kurogane huffs.
"No, it is," Fai insists. Their furry white companion is skipping toward them from the far side of the oasis, where the rest of them haven't yet set foot. "Where has she been?"
"Hmph," is all Kurogane replies. But Mokona is more than happy to fill them in.
"Mokona found food!" she shouts happily, "We can have lunch after all!"
Hanshin Republic
Syaoran is 15 years old and in sore need of a boot up his ass. Or a hug. Or a boot hugged up his ass. Or...something.
The first time they leave Clow, they leave basking in the afterglow of victory. This new journey is a price to be paid, but it is also an adventure to be had, and it's easy to cling to the hope that the future is still bright and full of possibilities.
The second time they leave Clow, they leave in the dead the night. Yanked from sleep by Mokona’s panicking and shouting that the stupid earring has started glowing, the three of them are left to say their goodbyes quickly and without any fanfare. This is a punishment, blatant usury that will never end, and everything about it is so, so terrible.
They land in the next world in the middle of a street fight, complete with flying boulders and explosions. It takes a few minutes for Kurogane to recognize that this is the Hanshin Republic, and a few more for him to recall that he is able to summon a kudan to do his fighting here. He not in the mood for anything more a quick strike and retreat maneuver - one that buys them enough time to get their bearings and make their way out of this fight that isn't theirs to begin with. Certain members of his travelling party, however, apparently have other ideas. Syaoran has summoned the same fire kudan that had possessed his father once upon a time, but is largely ignoring it in favor of pummeling their attackers with his own fists and feet. Fists and feet, Kurogane notes with some dismay, that are battering everything and everyone around him indiscriminately. Every hit seems to give him more energy. Every landed kick seems to rattle up his legs and wind him tighter like a spring-loaded fighting machine. Eventually, Kurogane pulls him bodily from the scrum and tosses him over his shoulder.
Syaoran hangs there limply as they beat a quick retreat.
Kurogane knows this feeling all too well, this need to take everything that feels abstractly bad and pour it back out through his fists into something that hurts concretely. He knows the relief that comes of burning off grief with violence, and he doesn't blame the kid for giving in to it momentarily. But he also knows all of the other shit that comes along with it and how hard it can be to pull yourself out of the cycle once you've thrashed and mauled your way into it. He pins Syaoran tightly against his shoulders as he and Fai rush to figure out exactly where they are, where they're going, and how they're going to get there.
Later, when they've finally tracked down the guesthouse owned by Sorata and Arashi and settled in for a cup of tea, he finally broaches the subject. "The fuck were you thinking back there?"
Syaoran looks up from the table he's been staring down since they arrived. His eyes are red and swollen and there are bruises forming around his cheeks and eyelids. He's a mess, and he doesn't make any effort to pretend he is otherwise. "I'm sorry," he mumbles, "It was just...automatic."
"That's some bullshit-"
"Kuro-sama!"
"What?" Kurogane turns to face Fai, who is staring at him open-mouthed like he's the one in the wrong here. "You just gonna ignore that he went completely feral back there?"
"No," Fai says slowly, "But I think you can give him some space for now. It's been a rough night."
Kurogane stifles the growl building at the back of his throat and settles for grinding his teeth. The wizard is probably right, and if he's being honest, he's upset about the whole fly-by-night situation too, which isn't helping. He's trying - has been trying, and trying - to keep his temper in check, but even with a few years of practice under his belt, it's still a conscious effort every. single. time. And that is EXACTLY WHY-
He sighs irritably and and nods. "Yeah. Later." He leans back against the wall, crosses his arms across his chest, and closes his eyes.
He can practically hear Fai's frown from across the room. "Syaoran, why don't you go get cleaned up? There's a bath house down the street - take some money off the table. Mokona can go with you."
"Yeah, I will. I'm...I'm sorry."
"You're fine, really. You'll feel better after a bath, I promise."
There's some scuffling and chatter from Mokona and eventually the sound of the door closing announces their exit. Kurogane cracks an eye open to find Fai staring at him from across the room. He's seated at the table, bent over with his chin balanced on interlaced fingers. He appears to be chewing the inside of his cheek. "Are you alright?" he asks seriously.
"I'm fine," Kurogane allows his eye to close again.
"I would have thought you'd be more sympathetic to that little outburst."
"I am sympathetic." A long silence follows, and eventually Kurogane gives up and opens his eyes fully to find Fai staring back at him, wide-eyed and eyebrows making a break for his hairline. "I am," he insists, knocking the back of his head against the wall to stare at the ceiling, "But someone has to tell him he's being an idiot. And if I have to be the one to put a boot up his ass, then..."
Fai chuckles quietly. "He can be a surly little shit, can't he?"
Kurogane half frowns, "I don't think surly-"
"Probably less so to you, because you're terrifying," Fai fills in, "But just watch him the next time some librarian or clerk tells him 'no.' You can practically see the wheels of malicious compliance turning in his brain."
Kurogane has a quiet chuckle at this. It was true - he'd once watched the kid eat a page out of a notebook when a cafe had tried to kick them out for overstaying their welcome after finishing their meal. "Ok, surly then. Fine. I just don't want to see him fall down that hole of turning every bad thing that happens into a fist in someone's face. It's...fucking hard to get out of." He looks out the window, at the ceiling, anywhere to avoid Fai's eyes.
Fai looks up, surprised. "That is...surprisingly paternal of you, Kuro-tan." He's serious, for the moment.
Kurogane rolls his eyes. "So?"
Fai shrugs. "You're the one who keeps insisting you're not the father."
"I'm not," Kurogane growls, "His father." He sighs and cracks his knuckles. "That doesn't mean I don't want...whatever for him. The surly little shit."
Fai looks like he has more to say to this, but swallows it down in favor of an exaggerated yawn and stretch. "Teenagers are weird. But, we should probably stop talking about poor Syaoran. His ears are probably burning."
Kurogane snorts, "Late at night is the universally approved time for grown-ups to talk shit about the kids. I guess usually you'd do it while they're sleeping, or pretending to sleep, but this'll do."
Fai laughs, then slumps onto his hands and knees and crawls the short distance across the room to rest his head on the side of Kurogane's thigh. "I guess I'll have to take your word on that."
Fuck. He hadn't meant to go opening old wounds on top of everything else. And of course now he's thinking about his parents, too.
Your son has been trampling the kitchen gardens again.
Your son loosed his collection of frogs on the ambassador from Shirasagi's wife.
Your son rode naked through the courtyard on a pig.
He snorts - he'd earned himself any number of beatings in his day, and he can only imagine the hell his father would unleash on him for some of the things he'd done in the intervening years since his death. It was a simple, if slightly inelegant solution for bad behavior.
...and, as Kurogane has spent the last few years learning, one that does absolutely fuck-all to actually change anyone.
It’s still good for getting their attention, though.
He knocks his head against the wall again. "What am I supposed to do, then?"
"What?"
"If I shouldn't put a boot in his ass."
"Ah," Fai bites at his lip and looks at the ceiling, "I mean, you should definitely put a boot in his ass, but..." he trails off into silence.
"But what?" Kurogane jostles the leg Fai is laying against.
"Well I don't know, Kuro-sama," Fai spits incredulously, "It turns out I am really bad at these things."
Kurogane grabs a handul of blond hair and rustles, just a little but too roughly.
"But maybe," Fai continues loudly, trying to wrench himself away, "You could try a little patience. His whole world just got ripped away for the second time and he's starting to realize the full cost of his bargain. Just...I don't know. Give him a hug or something."
Kurogane huffs out a breath, but stops pulling at Fai's hair. "Hugs are your department."
"Give him a manly hair ruffle, then."
Kurogane cocks an eyebrow, but doesn't take the bait. He lets go of Fai's hair completely and folds his arms back across his chest. "I can do that."
"You don't say?" Fai whines, rubbing at his head, "I'm blaming you if I go bald."
Kurogane grins in the dark and twines a hand back into Fai's hair, gently this time, and rubs the pads of his fingers against his poor, abused scalp. He closes his eyes, slows his breathing. That is enough talk for tonight.
The next morning arrives with the smell of coffee on the air. Kurogane is pleasantly surprised to open his eyes to a full breakfast set up on the low table at the center of their room. Rice, fish, soup - the works. Fai has really outdone himself on such short notice-
Except that he hasn't. Fai is still snoring against his thigh, having barely moved since the night before. Syaoran, though, is silently pouring coffee into three cups and chewing at his lower lip.
"Hey kid," Kurogane says groggily.
"Hey," Syaoran says, still avoiding eye contact. "I...had a lot of help with this," he says sheepishly, "But I wanted to, ah..."
"Looks good." Kurogane jostles his knee, sending Fai shooting up into a sitting position, snorting and twiching his way back to consciousness.
"Who did the what now?" Fai murmurs, yawning and smacking his lips. He opens his eyes fully and stares at the table. "Syaoran, you're going to put me out of business."
"Trust me, that's not going to happen," Syaoran tugs a nervous hand through his hair, "I haven't cooked in so long...I almost set the kitchen on fire three separate times. If Arashi hadn't been home..."
Fai grimaces, but dusts his knees and stands with a chuckle. "Well I guess that's that, then."
"I'm so sorry," Syaoran blurts, the words tumbling out of his mouth as if they've been fighting for ages to escape. They probably have been. "I don't-"
"Shhhhhhhh." Fai is across the room and folding him into an enormous hug before he can finish. This is why hugs are Fai's department. Kurogane would have waited to hear what was coming next and then probably stood there awkwardly pretending not to be impressed.
Even now, he feels awkward as hell getting to his feet, knowing Fai is fully expecting him to join in with some hair ruffling at the very least. But he does it anyway, and it's less awkward than he's expecting, and less awkward than it was the last time, too. Some day, he expects this will all be normal and natural and then it's all over for him.
Mokona flings herself into the mix, too, because it's never quite enough without a pork bun.
"Sorata was saying this morning before he left for work that he's found some interesting research on how the people here release their kudan. I was thinking maybe-"
"No," Kurogane says bluntly, balling his hand into a fist and banging it lightly against the crown of Syaoran's head, "You're taking a day off."
"But-"
"No."
"Did you even sleep last night, Syaoran?" Fai asks, shifting effortlessly into busy-body mode as he steers them all to the table and starts fussing with all the condiments.
"I did."
Fai lifts an eyebrow. "For more than an hour?"
"Two."
"Uh-huh."
"I don't want to miss our window," Syaoran says, gritting his teeth, "If Mokona's earring starts to glow before we're finished-"
"Then we'll have to come back later," Fai finishes for him, then shakes his head. "If it will help you relax, Kuro-rinta and I can head out today and talk to whomever. You have to take better care of yourself. Look at you. You're a hot mess."
Kurogane swallows his coffee down in a single gulp, watching as Syaoran gingerly presses at the bruises on his face. "Or I'll put a boot up your ass."
Syaoran snorts out a small laugh at this and bows his head. "Thanks." He busies himself with his breakfast for a few minutes, leaving the rest of them to guess whether or not this means he'll be taking their advice or the boot up his ass. "Actually," he says carefully, "If you don't mind, I don't really want to be alone." He pauses, pursing his lips and shaking his head. "No, that's wrong. I think...I would really like it if the four of us could just...do something...together?" He exhales, apparently having found the words he was searching for. "It doesn't need to be anything in particular, just-"
"Of course!" Fai and Mokona are exclaiming before he's even finished speaking. Kurogane nods. He doesn't know why the kid feels the need to even ask, but apparently it took some effort on his part and that deserves some respect. Teenagers are weird, he reminds himself. This one, though, seems to prove himself mostly okay on the daily, though.
The day is long, and the house is full of video games. By evening, the stewing anger, grief, and anxiety they've all been grappling with has ceased boiling, for the most part, and they can make plans for a more productive tomorrow.
Clow Country
Fai is not particularly enamored of the idea of eating whatever "food" Mokona has collected around the oasis, no matter how pretty it might be here, and so he breathes a great sigh of relief when she clarifies, "It's from Watanuki!" and proceeds to burp up a sprawling picnic of rice balls, sandwiches, salads, and even what appears to be fried chicken, all neatly arranged on a decorative blanket.
"What's that going to cost us?" Kurogane grumbles at his side. He leans in closer for a better view of the offerings, though.
"Nothing, for the moment," the shopkeeper's voice answers, and Fai realizes Mokona has started projecting while he was fixated on the food. "I'd like it if you sent me a few bottles of the apple wine Clow specializes in when you return to the palace."
"Assuming we aren't tarred and feathered," Kurogane mumbles.
"Is that," Watanuki looks perturbed, "A real concern?"
"No, no," Fai waves this away, elbowing Kurogane between the ribs, "Just a little bit of trouble escaping royal duties for Syaoran and Sakura this morning. I assume Mokona filled you in?" He gestures broadly at the picnic.
"Something about smoke bombs," Watanuki shakes his head, "To be honest, it was a lot of trouble to understand exactly what was going on, but the gist of it was that the world was going to end if I didn't send you lunch. And so..."
"Well, I can't say it's not welcome," Fai says simply, shaking his head at Mokona, "I'll have to work on the wine later."
"No rush," Watanuki assures him, then, "Where is Syaoran, by the way? I'd heard you were all together-"
"Syaoran is swimming with Sakura!" Mokona announces happily, turning her projecting jewel to face the water. A swell of joy-filled greetings and splashing ensues as Syaoran and Sakura make their way back to the shore.
"I see," Watanuki says after they have all piled onto the picnic blanket and offered a somewhat more detailed account of the morning's exploits, "Six months really is a long time for you to be in one place. What was your longest before?"
"Nine weeks," Syaoran says, a little too quickly. He blushes a deep red as the rest of the groups eyes turn to him, "I count."
"Even that's longer than you usually average," Watanuki says thoughtfully, "I think last time you were here you stayed only a week or two, wasn't it?"
"That sounds right," Syaoran agrees. He bites at his lip and scrunches up his nose, and Fai can tell there is something more he wants to add.
"What is it?" he presses.
"Well," Syaoran swallows thickly, "I was just thinking...what if we're...maybe we're done?" He winces like he's expecting to get smacked for even uttering those words, and a small piece of Fai's heart breaks for knowing exactly how painful holding on to that little bit of hope must be for him.
Watanuki frowns sadly, "I doubt you’re done, but..." Syaoran's face falls and Fai instinctively reaches out to clutch his shoulder. Watanuki continues quickly, adding, "It does seem like you're slowing down."
"What does that mean?" Kurogane asks, suddenly interested.
"I don't know," Watanuki confesses, shaking his head, "It could be any number of things, but..." He looks thoughtful and fiddles with something out of the field of projection. "Your price was to keep moving, Syaoran. To keep from creating chaos within the newly healed dimensions Fei Wang Reed almost destroyed. You used to complain that you moved so quickly, you didn't have time to do the research you wanted in different places - maybe that was necessary because reality was still fragile. Any little change you brought, any little bit of outside chaos was a much larger threat-"
"And now after ten years, reality is...what, more robust?" Syaoran finishes.
"Something like that," Watanuki says, "To be completely honest I can only guess. I haven't seen in anything in a dream or met anyone or anything that has explained it satisfactorily."
"So will we just," Kurogane clears his throat, "Keep slowing down until we stop?" Fai shoots him a look, knowing he's thinking about his promise to return to Japan at the end of all this.
"I don't know," Watanuki emphasizes, "It seems like that is a possibility."
"How do we know when we're done?" How do I know when I can go home? Fai hears, though it remains unspoken.
"You might not," Watanuki throws his hands up, "Like I said, this is all just conjecture. Don't get mad at me - I'm just trying to connect the dots I can see. And I can't see all of them. Not yet, anyway."
Kurogane nods and lets his line of questioning drop. Seconds later, he's back to picking the breading off of a piece of fried chicken as if nothing new or interesting had just been revealed to him. Fai scoffs and looks over at Syaoran and Sakura, who are positively glowing with the realization that they might be able to spend more of their lives together, instead of torn apart by space and time. Fai smiles at them even as his stomach twists. He wants more of this, forever; he hasn't even considered that it might be ending any time soon.
Kurogane has, of course, which is why he can sit there like lump on a log and pretend they haven't just heard earth-shattering news. He'll return to Japan, and Fai will go with him - this has been the understanding for nearly as long as they've been travelling, at any rate. They haven’t actually talked about it for some years, now, mostly because there has never been a good reason to bring it up. And the children...
Well, they're not children anymore, are they?
"What are you thinking about?" Kurogane asks. He's fighting off a full-frontal assault by Mokona on his chicken leg, but looking more concerned than that alone warrants.
Fai smiles, but it feels hollow. Probably looks hollow, too. Oh well. "Nothing, Kuro-chin. Let's let the kids talk for awhile."
Fai lays back under the make-shift shade and closes his eyes. Syaoran and Watanuki are animatedly swapping stories of things that have happened in the other's absence, and Mokona chimes in intermittently with color commentary. Sakura laughs at their bad attempts to imitate voices and believes every single exaggeration they come out with. Their laughter is sweet music in his ears and soon he's happy as a clam once again, successfully closing himself off to any worries about the future.
At least, until he overhears Syaoran announce that he and Sakura will be getting married soon, and the sandy ground seems to swallow him whole.