Work Text:
“Kudou,” Hattori hissed from across the table. “Don’ look now, but a few tables behind me is yer doppelgänger.” Shinichi glanced inconspicuously past him, and sighed upon somewhat recognizing the face as not his own.
“That’s just Kuroba Kaito, if I remember correctly. He’s Hakuba Saguru’s friend—” Hattori scoffed.
“If he’s a friend of that asshole, he’s probably no one good.” Shinichi spared Hattori a glance as he got up at the sound of their order number being called.
“That’s mean. And judgemental.” Although, according to Hakuba, he’s not off the mark. When Shinichi returned, tray of food in hand, Hattori was twisted around in the booth, openly glaring at Kuroba.
“What are you doing?” Hattori clicked his tongue and faced forward, grabbing a handful of fries.
“I don’t like ‘im. Looks untrustworthy.” Shinichi blinked a few times, before narrowing his eyes and sitting down.
“Hattori, he looks exactly like me.” After shoving the fries in his mouth, and possibly regaining some composure, Hattori flashed a smirk.
“Nah, after looking at ‘im for a bit, I can name at least five differences in just your faces. For example, his smirk is more crooked than yers on the right side.”
“Oh, really,” Shinichi sipped his drink. A pause filled the air as Hattori took a bite out of his burger, but the silence was unfortunately ruined by Hattori again.
“He’s like your identical twin that everyone agrees is at least fifty-percent uglier. I wouldn’t trust him with anythin’.” Shinichi sighed through his nose, and took another glance at Kuroba.
“Hattori, that’s rude.”
“Look at his face. Disgusting.”
“Again, that’s almost exactly my face. This is like the time you met Hakuba.” Hattori grinned widely.
“Yeah, and like last time, yer much more likeable than that asshole! The only one who could ever hope to be my rival!” Shinichi looked out the window, unimpressed. I don’t know if I want that. Hattori’s eyes narrowed again. “But, seriously, if he passes by us, I might rip his throat out.” Shinichi sputtered on his drink.
“Calm down, you don’t even know the guy! And I thought you were against murder!” Hattori looked Shinichi in the eyes, dead serious.
“If he gives ya any trouble, I’ll beat him up for ya.” Shinichi grabbed at his face, exasperated.
“Maybe we should just l—” Shinichi happened to look up at Kuroba to see the girl he was with glancing back at them, whispering to him over the table, and Kuroba laughed. He began to stand up and walk over to them, and the girl followed suit. “Oh no. Hattori, start taking deep breaths and counting to ten.”
“Hey, you’re Kudou Shinichi, right?” Shinichi looked up. “My friend here thought you were my doppelgänger.” Hattori wasn’t looking up, but his eyes contained a look used only on those he thought were hurting Kazuha. Or hitting on her. Shinichi’s eyes lingered on Hattori for a moment, before looking back at Kuroba.
“Ah, you’re Kuroba Kaito, right? Hakuba introduced us before?” Kuroba gave a toothy grin.
“Yeah yeah, Hakuba! See Aoko? Not my doppelgänger. By the way, this is my friend, Nakamori Aoko.” Nakamori nodded a greeting, eyes still on Shinichi. “And, if I may ask, who’s this mad fellow?” Not a good idea Kuroba! Hattori took a deep breath, and looked up at Kuroba. An awkward silence followed, before Hattori finally spoke.
“There’re about seventeen differences in yer faces. I don’t know how I possi’ly thought you two looked alike.” Kuroba blinked, and flashed a (shit eating, in Hattori’s opinion) smile.
“That’s what I’ve been saying!” Standing up quickly and taking a step out of the booth, Hattori yelled,
“I don’t wanna share an opinion with a guy like you!” The rest of the customers looked over at the commotion. Kuroba took a step back, Nakamori squared her shoulders (apparently also ready to fight at any moment), and Shinichi stood up.
“I think we’ll be leaving now—”
“I’m not sure I understand?”
“Of course ya don’t, because yer—”
“Hattori, don’t you dare finish that sentence—”
“Excuse me, Aoko thinks that you’re being awful rude to someone you just met—”
“Well this guy’s impersonating my best friend, ya don’t think that’s rude?!”
“Hold up, I’ve never—”
“U-Um…” A nervous and certainly scared employee blurted out from behind the group. “Please don’t cause a commotion. You’re disturbing the other customers…” The entire restaurant was silent. Hattori huffed.
“Let’s take this outside.”
“Hattori, NO—”
Ran began to laugh.
“Hey hey, this wasn’t any laughing matter. I had to physically hold back Hattori from fighting Kuroba.” Ran attempted to stifle her laughter with her hand.
“I-I’m sorry, but Hattori is just too funny. You have such a good friend, Shinichi. He even announced to the entire place that you were his best friend!” Shinichi sighed.
“I don’t think I want that position anymore.” Ran smiled, tilting her head forward and raising her eyebrows in some sorta “oh really” way.
“Don’t be like that. That was his way of showing he cares about you. Although, I’d be freaked if I saw another one of you too.” Shinichi blinked as Ran stood up from the park bench. “It would be terrifying, having another deduction freak like you in the world. I wouldn’t be able to take it!” Shinichi narrowed his eyes and stood up as well.
“Ha ha, yeah, it would be unbearable. Let’s just go home already.” As they set off, Shinichi had to admit Hattori wasn’t that bad of a friend. He had his moments. Often. But if you ignored those, he was a good guy. Shinichi smiled a bit. Maybe I am lucky to have him as a friend. Shinichi’s phone went off.
“DO YOU THINK THAT HAKUBA GUY WOULD AGREE TO HELP ME SABOTAGE THAT KUROBA ASSHOLE” Shinichi sighed, and Ran giggled over his shoulder. At least he’s not my enemy.